Black Coffee and Eggs Over Easy
by MiddlemarchEliot
Summary: Twenty-five year old obsessive compulsive Bella Swan agrees, rather reluctantly, to seek therapy for her neat habits but what happens when her attraction to the greasy, but sexy car mechanic is too much for her to handle? All-Human. Bella is OOC
1. Chapter 1 The Even Trainwreck

Hi Everyone! This is my first venture into the Jacob/Bella pairing even though I am Team Jacob! This story came to me recently out of nowhere and I hope you like it!

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything, I just like to play around with them.

Chapter 1. The Even Trainwreck.

"Do you take part in promiscuous acts?" Dr. Jenkins asked…more like implied actually.

This was her last patient for the day, a new patient who only set up an appointment the previous day wanting to see the doctor immediately. Dr. Jenkins told her secretary to schedule the patient for the following month, for she was heading off to Hawaii with her husband of ten years the following night and knew the first session with a new patient to be the most taxing. It was a tedious business, asking the typical analytical questions to determine their case, hearing their history of family diseases as well as the longevity of their depression or mania, as well as the patient filling out the various forms for treatment and insurance carrier. The whole process took about an hour. Very tedious.

But Isabella Swan was an impatient one, for Dr. Jenkins could hear Bertha her secretary explaining politely to the young woman over the phone about the doctor's leave for vacation, at which Dr. Jenkins knew Ms. Swan won herself an appointment the following day by the extremely long sigh Bertha made, clicking on her ballpoint pen to make a note of the time the insistent patient was to torment Dr. Jenkins. She really should've hired a more authoritative secretary.

So the next day, after the doctor ushered out as many of her regulars as possible, idly listening to them complain over the same thing repeatedly, quickly filling out prescription forms, all the while glancing at the slowly moving big hand on the ancient clock to her right. It was almost there. Almost five, but she knew whoever this new patient was, she would be cooped up in her office for awhile, Hawaii and her husband being hours and hours away.

But the minute she saw Isabella Swan walk into her now emptying office, she knew for certain she was in for a long session. Isabella walked in the door, her brown business suit neatly ironed, her brown hair pulled back into a tight ponytail, without a single strand out of place, her hands rubbing against each other in her black gloves, and her black pumps were shining as if they had just been shoe polished. An extremely neat and tidy person.

But her expression and mannerism was what really stood out to the tired Doctor, for Ms. Swan gazed at the tiny waiting room as if she had no desire to be there, despite her urgency over the phone to get an appointment. She stood erect like a statue, her face displaying a sense of disdain at her surroundings. Before Ms. Swan could see her, Dr. Jenkins immediately ducked her head back into her office, lightly sitting down on her plush brown couch, and began fiddling with her thumbs. She knew most of her colleagues preferred to personally go out into the waiting room to greet and usher in their patients, but the Doctor did no such thing, especially to new patients who demanded to be seen the day she was leaving, so she waited patiently in the room until finished all her paperwork. Hopefully the girl's insurance provider was one they would accept, for it would take longer otherwise.

After exactly a half hour, for Dr. Jenkins' eyes never left the old father clock, Isabella Swan languidly walked in, made a point to look at her surroundings carefully, and slowly sat herself on the brown coach opposite Dr. Jenkins'.

"Do you take part in promiscuous acts?" Dr. Jenkins asked ten minutes later, after she idly shook her hand and began the questioning to determine the girl's ailments.

"No," Isabella said, for she was sure that the doctor meant sexual acts as opposed to masturbation, which she was wont to do on various occasions throughout the week. A girl needed some kind of gratuitous fulfillment, considering she had no social life to begin with.

"Do you ever have thoughts of killing yourself?"

"No," Bella said a little too quickly.

Dr. Jenkins looked up from her notepad, her gaze shifting downward to look at her new patient, her glasses moving its way down to the edge of her nose, but she continued on.

"Do you have bouts of depression?"

"Yes."

"Since when?"

"All my life."

"Constantly or sporadic?"

"Sporadic?"

"Yes, have you been depressed all the time or has there been a period where you were actually happy?"

"Periods…sporadic, then."

Dr. Jenkins immediately placed the notebook with her questionnaire on the coffee table in front of her separating the two couches. She wanted to get this over with and it was pretty obvious Ms. Swan had some form of Bipolar disorder. She felt a twinge of guilt that she was quickly washing over her diagnosis of a new patient, but damn it if she wouldn't have to cancel or have her flight delayed after months of planning; she needed to get away from Forks as soon as possible; the sleepy town was nauseating.

"Okay, tell me why you have decided to receive treatment?"

Bella raised her eyebrows, hating when people put her on the spot. "I—my dad fucking made me, okay?" She shifted her weight onto her left side, her eyes suddenly focusing on something to the left of the doctor.

Dr. Jenkins was a little taken aback by the girl's tone, but she was accustomed to the occasional outburst of patients, and never let it deter her, for showing weakness and fear amongst those she wished to help would deem her job impossible.

"And why do you think he'd make you?" she asked, forcing her voice to emit a more soothing quality instead of its usual brashness.

Bella still stared at the spot to Dr. Jenkins' left, and her hands, which were placed neatly in her lap, began to twitch slightly.

"Are you alright?" Dr. Jenkins asked, noting the change immediately.

"You have a stain on your couch."

"Excuse me?"

"You have a stain on your couch," Bella repeated slowly, as if she was talking to a child, "Right there." She pointed to a darkening blob the size of Texas that stood out amongst the light brown of the couch.

Dr. Jenkins had no idea, for she remembered having to calm down a patient who just broke into a crying jag over her cheating husband, causing the doctor to nearly spill her coffee all over herself. But that was this morning, and right now it was the afternoon, and she had no idea the coffee she only thought she had spilled over her silk blouse was also on her newly upholstered sofa.

She put her index finger on the couch, which caused Bella to wince. "Something bothering you?" she asked.

"You should put some gloves on before you touch that, or grab a napkin."

"I barely touched it."

"But still, you have no idea how many germs have accumulated on that one stain." Bella leaned over, observing the stain in disdain, "Looks like it's been there for hours, and with this room being infested with dust, this place looks like a hang out place for bacteria."

Dr. Jenkins leaned back, a look of interest evident in her eyes, "You always this concerned about germs?"

"Of course. Just thinking of the filth that anything picks up is disgusting. When I was a kid I saw a documentary of how babies are always subject to bacteria and whatnot because they like to touch everything..." Bella then stood up straighter in her seat, her formerly slow, monotonous tone increasing with nervousness, "They actually showed what it looks like and it entering your skin. Completely disgusted me."

Dr. Jenkins' interest only increased with every word Bella was saying, "Isabella-"

"Bella."

"Okay, Bella. What do you do then to prevent yourself from getting any bacteria?"

Bella scoffed and held up her hands, "I wear these."

"Right," the Doctor commented, casually picking up her notebook again to write down "Obsessive Compulsive."

"Again, why do you think your father feel the need to send you here?"

"Before we continue can you please clean the stain?"

Dr. Jenkins' eyebrows rose, "Of course."

Dr. Jenkins walked over to her desk and pressed the button of her telephone line, "Bertha?"

"Yes?" the soft voice rang out through the speaker.

"Could you bring the stain remover from the break room?"

"Of course, Doctor."

Dr. Jenkins quickly released the button, making her way back to her seat. She immediately knew from the way Bella continued to stare at the now huge stain that she wouldn't be getting another word out of the young woman until the dark spot was gone, which meant more minutes of the Doctor not getting ready for her vacation.

Goddammit! Where the hell was Bertha?

As soon as she thought it, the sweet receptionist walked through the door, eyeing Bella speculatively, for she was a little confused as to what was going on. Dr. Jenkins never asked her to do something so silly during the middle of a session, nevertheless the first one with a new patient. But she obediently used the clean, pink, towel she brought with her and sprayed the cleanser, rubbing out the stain until it was mostly gone.

Some residue still remained but in Dr. Jenkins' mind, it was enough. She needed to get this woman out the door. The old clock already read six- half an hour for her to fill out the paperwork and half an hour to deal with this nonsense of stains.

"Is that better for you?" she asked. She couldn't help it if her voice was dripping with sarcasm. It was a long day.

"It'll do."

"Okay then, why do you think your father felt the need to have you enter sessions with me?"

"He says I have no friends."

Dr. Jenkins' pen pressed the paper as it formed the words "anti-social."

"Why's that?"

"People are boring."

"Why are they boring to you?"

Bella sighed. "Can we please cut the crap? You know this isn't my first time seeing a shrink. When I was younger my Mom made me go to one for awhile, so I already know what my problem is and you're not going to be able to help me; I can guarantee that. So just prescribe to me whatever medication for my OCD behavior and my depression."

Dr. Jenkins was stunned. She felt ridiculous that this young woman already knew what she was going to diagnose her as, as well as question her ability to treat her by already implying that she wasn't up to the job. This fact in itself made Dr. Jenkins even more determined.

"I can assure you, Ms. Swan, that I can treat you. I have helped many patients before you with the same symptoms, which I have concluded without you having to say it because it is plainly obvious you need my help."

"I beg to differ," Bella retorted, smoothing out the invisible crinkles on her tailored pants.

Dr. Jenkins was about to give the stubborn woman a piece of her mind when she instinctively glanced at the clock, which read six forty-five. The flight left at eight o'clock. She had to leave…IMMEDIATELY.

"I'm gonna prescribe for you one hundred milligrams of lamictal and twenty-five milligrams of Abilify," she stated, turning the pages of her notebook until she reached the bottom, where she had slips for prescriptions. She quickly filled out the information and handed it to the girl.

"Go out to the front and turn this in to Bertha and she'll set up another appointment date for you. I want to see you in two weeks," and with that, she stood up, signaling for the girl to do the same.

Bella obliged, standing up as well and slowly taking the two slips, her gloved hand lightly grasping the papers.

"I'm a bit surprised, doctor," Bella said, already heading out the door, "Never taken these before."

"Good," Dr. Jenkins replied, almost closing the door in the young woman's face, "Now, if you don't mind, I have a very important flight to catch."

Bella raised her eyebrows, to which the Doctor quickly responded, "I'm going on vacation with my husband, which is why I can't see you sooner, which I would have scheduled for you under different circumstances."

"Okay, then" Bella replied, heading out into the reception hall, "have a nice trip."

Dr. Jenkins quickly shut the door, stared at the now nonexistent stain, and proceeded to call her husband, almost certain that he'd wonder why she was already late.

Roll up the socks on the left leg. Roll up the socks on the right leg. Smooth out the crease on the left leg, then the right. All this had to be done before turning on the ignition.

Bella had no idea why; all she knew was that it felt good and right to do so. She made sure to do everything in two's. Even numbers were good, since they had a pairing and none were left out, unlike the odd numbers. She immediately turned the air conditioner to the middle of the dial, left it for four seconds, and proceeded to turn it all the way up. Ah, the beauty of evens.

But before she could begin driving home, she made sure everything else was perfect. Two rearview mirrors, two front seats, two back seats, two blinds, etc. She excluded counting the steering wheel since the passenger side didn't have a steering wheel to even everything out. Once she imagined the four tires located evenly on the front and back of the car, plus the doors on either side of the car front and back, she was ready to go.

She liked to drive fast, quickly counting everything evenly on her way. She counted the traffic light, where she included the actual pole as part of the three different lights to make it even and so on.

She was just glad to get out of that stuffy office. She felt herself getting sinuses just being there, with all the dust being accumulated throughout that room. She could've sworn she saw flies hovering over that Doctor's head and actual specks of dust along the bookshelves. For Christ's sake, when was the last time that shelf was dusted? Bella couldn't contain herself in that seat much longer; she felt the serious need to demand the flighty receptionist to give her all the supplies for cleaning (which she saw they had when the woman brought that cheap, generic shit they called stain remover to remove that massive, yucky, bug infested blob on the couch, for that's what it looked like, a fucking huge blob.

All she wanted to do was go home, curl up with one of her romance novels, and masturbate. She hadn't pleasured herself in over two days, which only helped in building up more sexual frustration. She barely ever got laid. What, with how detailed that special night needed to be, and making sure everything was in it's place and got up to an even number, it was enough to give her partner at the time a serious case of blue balls. So with her extreme OCD, the best she could get was a fully vibrating back massager from Brookstone and slowly place it inside her already wet hole. Ah, heaven.

These thoughts raced through her mind, clouding her senses, which led to her feeling a smack in the front of her car, causing her torso to lean forward from the impact. Bella fully expected the airbag to pop up, but it didn't. She immediately concluded that the impact wasn't big enough. But this still caused a damper to her day. Everything was going perfect until now. Oh, fucking shit. Why the fuck now?

Pissed off, she unstrapped her seat belt and bolted out of the car, slamming the door behind her. It didn't matter that it was her fault for daydreaming of fucking herself, she was pissed and she would blame it on whoever the fuck she rammed her car into.

But before she could give the asshole a piece of her mind, she saw him climb out of the nastiest, dirtiest, piece of jalopy…shit she had ever seen in her life. It was red, with the color nearly faded, and it smelled of gasoline…and garage. Bella immediately checked her hands to make sure her gloves were still in place. Check. The amount of bacteria this hick probably carried around would give her a massive heart attack and she'd have to take two more showers to her usual three a day.

But the man that stepped out of the car wasn't a hick, but a tall, bulky, handsome Native American. He had thick, long black hair that flowed down his back, though it was uncombed and had split ends. He was sweaty, dirty, grimy, and smelled of gasoline and soot. He had grease stains all over his white shirt. But Oh, God! Underneath that white shirt laid the most defined six pack she had ever seen on a man. He rivaled Fabio. She could feel the wetness seeping into her panties. Dammit! She had to immediately take a shower then, for her wetness would probably seep into her tailored pants and she'd have to put them to wash.

This thought made Bella even angrier, and she stomped over to the Indian guy. "How we gonna resolve this?" she demanded, not caring that it wasn't her place to be so upset.

"Hey, Lady, You're the one that rammed into me, if you remember," the guy said, his voice deep and husky, but his eyes looked at her mockingly, as if he found her anger to be somewhat amusing.

"Whatever, you have insurance, right?"

"Sure, sure," he replied, looking her over, taking in her neat, tidy appearance. He took in her face, her legs, and his gaze lingered on her breasts.

This angered Bella more than anything. "How long will it take for the police to get here, you think?" She immediately thought of her father, who was chief of police. Fuck, she didn't need his shit right now as well. She barely wanted to acknowledge the fact that her father would be the one likely to come over and take their case.

The Indian guy shook his head, snapping out of his little daze. "Don't know, why don't you call them?" he said mockingly, then broke out into a loud, deep laugh.

She clenched her fists together, all though she couldn't keep a firm grasp because of her thick gloves, "I don't know, I just moved here."

The bulky, garage stinking man walked over to where their two vehicles bumped head and rear and looked at the damage.

"Lady, there's not even a bump on your car or mine."

"What?" She asked, heading over herself to take a look.

Her car was perfectly nice. No indent, no paint scratch, nothing. She then gazed at his piece of shit truck as well, and noted that it looked well enough. It didn't look fine to her, but not because of anything accident related.

"I don't think we need to call the police," the guy said casually, still looking at her with interest.

"Good. Are you sure there's nothing wrong with your car? You want me to. .." Bella didn't even know what she was asking. She figured he would want to receive some recompense, for after all, she WAS the one who slammed into him.

"No, No harm done," He said quickly, moving slightly to the left where the sun shone, further defining his perfectly sculpted body. For some reason, although she barely knew if the man even showered, she couldn't help but think what it would feel like to run her tongue across his chest.

"Okay, then" she replied, turning to get back into the car before a new load of wetness would make its way into her already soaking and filthy pants.

She already opened her car door and was about to start her ritual when she felt a knock at her window. She nearly jumped and saw that he was pressing his stain-filled hand on her newly cleaned window. She immediately pressed the button on her left to lower the window down, with the man instinctively taking his hand away.

"Yes?"

"Just wanted to say that if you need anything for your car…oil change, tire rotation, or if your car isn't working fine because of our little incident, but I doubt it wouldn't be, you can come to my auto shop," and he handed her a crumpled, greasy, thick business card with the name of the place as well as the number engraved in the front. Bella noticed his fingers as he handed her the card. They were bulky, like the rest of him, but there was dirt in the edges of his nails, and sweat oozed from his fingers and his palms. Disgusting.

"No, thanks. I'm okay," she replied quickly, not even attempting to accept the card as she mentally began to count everything in her vehicle, in an effort to hurry up her ritual so she wouldn't have inhabit the same space as this dirty man in front of her.

"I just recently had my oil change as well as my tires rotated."

"Oh," the guy replied, running his dirt accumulated nails through his long hair, deep in thought, "Okay, then."

Bella smiled weakly, kind of feeling bad that she was being so rude. "Thanks, anyway."

She began to raise the window again and attempt to begin her sock rolling ritual when she heard a tap on her window again. Holy Fuck! What did this guy want?

"Yeah?" she asked, this time a little rudely.

"Sorry, I- I'm an impulsive guy and when I'm interested in something-," he ran his hand through his hair again and Bella wanted to vomit, "Look, the thing is…I find you very attractive and I was trying to get your number," he smiled sheepishly, showing a full set of white teeth. Bella was shocked. She couldn't believe such a gorgeous set of teeth belonged to such an unkempt guy, but then again she didn't expect him to have such sexy fucking abs.

"But I guess I wasn't making myself more clear."

Oh, God. He was going to ask her out. A Native American mechanic wanted her number, probably to fuck. Oh God, she needed to get laid but he was so physically dirty.

"I wanted to know if I can get your number so I," and he stressed the "I" part, "could call you sometime, without you needing an oil change or your tires rotated. Probably take you out for dinner or something."

Bella's mouth hung open. God, why couldn't he be clean and kempt? Cut his hair maybe? Change his profession? She would have let him into her car and would have let him bang the shit out of her if he did. But no, and as she stared at the hopeful, smiling guy before her, she didn't even have to really think about her answer.

"Sorry," she mustered sweetly, 'I have a boyfriend," she lied.

"Oh," he said, immediately backing away from her car, suddenly looking sheepish, "I feel like an ass."

"Don't, "she said quickly.

"Hey, no worries, okay?" he said, embarrassment evident in his voice. He began to walk away and waved at her from a distance. Bella watched him get into his crappy truck and drive off.

She felt guilty but the kind of girl she was and the kind of guy he was wouldn't ever work out. She just couldn't believe that a guy had asked her out. She hadn't been on a date in forever. She immediately went through her ritual. Left sock rolled down, right sock rolled down, crease on the left leg smoothed out, crease on the right leg smoothed out, but while she was doing her ritual, she felt satisfied in the idea of having something new to masturbate to, for those ripped abs was still the hottest thing she'd ever seen in her life.


	2. Chapter 2 The Even Weekend

I want to thank everyone for the wonderful reviews. I honestly didn't think I'd get so many favorites, alerts, and reviews with only the first chapter. I hope everyone continues to read and review. Your feed back is much appreciated. Again, thank you.

Disclaimer- I don't own anything, Stephenie Meyer does.

Chapter 2. The Even Weekend

Unlock the door.

Lock the door.

Unlock the door.

Lock the door.

Unlock the door.

Enter the house.

Lock the door.

Bella went through her opening the entrance door ritual as she quickly headed to her room up the stairs. Twenty-eight steps up to reach the landing; of course, she didn't count the thirteen step into the equation because besides bringing the entire count to an odd number, it was slightly coming apart, making a creaking sound when Bella first stepped on it upon first arriving at her new home.

It was easy to become familiar with the house, for it was smaller than her mother's rather large Phoenix home, so it made her being neat and tidy an easier task.

Once in her room, she carefully hung her purse on the hook to the right of her door and proceeded to smooth out any crinkles on her bed. She needed everything to be in place before beginning her weekly pleasuring, for this time, she had a somewhat excellent inspiration.

Once removing her gloves and folding them three times before placing them in the third drawer on her dressing table, she crouched down and took out her still neatly packaged Turbo Back Massager Two Thousand from Brookstone. She bought it for herself two months ago while being dragged to the mall by her mother. Of course, Renee thought it really was for her daughter's back, having no idea it was to be happily used for her nether region. But she should've realized it. Bella was already twenty-five and boyfriend less; she needed some kind of toy.

She slid the clear packaging off the box, also folding it three times before placing it under her bed. Once opening the box she took out her little friend. The thing glowed and shone against the pale afternoon light as if it was bought yesterday. Of course, she thoroughly cleaned it after every use.

She decided first to take her long-awaited shower, for she was absolutely certain she accumulated a million germs when dealing with that mechanic. Oh, the mechanic. She would never act out on her impulses in real life, but she sure will fantasize about touching his rippling body.

She took out from her closet a newly laundered shirt and sweat pants, laying them right side up facing the bathroom door, which was facing her bed. As she entered the bathroom, she counted all the objects that adorned the room- the sink, the cabinet, the closet, the tub, the drapes, etc. Everything should add up to twenty-two, and it did. She sighed. Things were still right in this world.

She then took off her now disgusting clothes-stained panty included- and deposited them in the dirty bin. As she turned on the faucet to "Hot", she waited exactly six minutes before turning on the shower, for she knew by that time the water would be relatively warm, just the way she liked it. She knew in reality it would take five minutes, but it was safer and more perfect to turn it on after six minutes.

She loved the way the water cascaded down her back, wetting her already damp hair. She just loved the way the soap felt around her body as she washed herself; it was the best feeling in the whole world, eliminating her body of sweat, dirt, and grime, as well as the smell of outside, which she detested. She honestly could stay in the shower forever, for it was one of her favorite pastimes.

Slowly stepping one foot out of the shower, she made sure that all twenty-two objects that contained itself in her bathroom were still there- stupid, but she had to make sure everything was perfect.

She was then ready to lay herself on her bed, her trusted companion in hand, and fantasize about a certain dark-skinned guy, who, if she was a different person, would have seriously fucked.

Dressing in the warm comfortable clothes that awaited her on her bed, she immediately got to work. She didn't even put on the pants, leaving those for later when she took her second shower. She just put on the shirt and immediately headed to her book collection located to the right of the bed. Her fingers grazed along her "horny" romance collection, for she kept them separate from the rest of her regular books, having each category (Sci-Fi, Romance, Mystery, Non-Fiction, Fiction) placed together from left to right by publication date. She quickly moved to the second shelf, where her romance collection was located.

Jane Austen. Love you, but no.

Danielle Steel. Too sweet, sugary. No.

Stephanie Laurens. No, not in the mood for Regency.

Sherrilyn Kenyon. Uh, no. Not in the mood for sci-fi erotica.

She finally settled on some obscure Harlequin romance she bought months ago but never got around to reading it. The cover had a brunette with black high heels and a garter, while the hunky man was holding her, while the woman's head tilted back and the strap of her gown falling off her shoulders. Mmm... Sexual enough.

Once lying down on the bed, with vibrator in hand, she turned the thing on and placed it down at the opening of her pussy, rubbing it up and down. She flipped to a page and began to read.

_He then grabbed Claire by the waist, not caring that they were in imminent danger, not giving a damn for her fake protests. He knew he had to have her…and he will._

_He kissed her roughly, pulling her closer to him, bringing his big, strong hands up to caress her white, plump, breasts, running his thumb over her hardened nipples._

"_Don't," she said breathlessly, but yet bringing up her arms around his neck._

"_You want this, I know you do. You want me," he assured her, finally bringing his mouth to hers and kissing her roughly._

Bella began rubbing the vibrator in a steady rhythm (her sense of foreplay) while she imagined the man in the novel being a clean, freshly smelling, and luxurious, long haired Native American guyand the girl being herself. Everything about him would be perfect. He wouldn't smell bad, or sweat, r have unkempt hair…he would be perfect, and he wouldn't be so gentle with her, just how they do it in the numerous trashy novels she reads. The thought of him touching her breasts, her already wet pussy…kissing her everywhere, made her wetter than before.

She nearly died. She hadn't expected to get this wet over a guy. She wasn't prepared. Leaning over and opening the top hand drawer again, she took out a towel from a pile she had neatly stacked up in case of any emergencies, such as this.

She placed the towel right underneath her ass, allowing herself to then forget how dripping wet she was and continued to fantasize. She was ready. Ready to fuck her own brains out.

She skipped a few paragraphs.

_He immediately entered her, filling her unexplored womanly space with his immense girth._

_She cried out in pain mixed with an unimaginable pleasure she had never experienced before._

"_I want you to climax for me," he said huskily, slamming into her a few more times._

Bella slowly inserted her trusty companion inside her, being careful not to go all the way in. For even though she loved pleasuring herself in this way more than anything, she was still frightened of having some kind of machine entering her. It was just weird. But then, so was she.

She just loved the vibrations it created. The humming sound soothed her, made her feel alive. She was afraid that no man could ever pleasure her the way her "back massage" can. She really needed to give it some kind of common name.

Images immediately raced through her mind. The mechanic guy dressed to the nines, slowly taking off his clothes and laying them neatly on a chair, for throwing them on the floor would cause various amounts of dust to accumulate on the fabrics, no matter how many times she vacuumed her rug.

She'd take off her clothes as well, laying them down on top of his in an orderly fashion. Four items all together, his shirt, her shirt, his pants, her pants. Perfect.

His tongue would explore her entire body, traveling in places no one else had ever explored. He'd smile at her the way he did on the road, minus the sweat and grease. She imagined what his dick would look like, probably big, like the rest of him. She doubted he would even fit inside of her, but this was a fantasy, so he obviously would. Imagining his built body on top of hers, moving inside her in a steady rhythm was enough to make her climax fast and hard.

"Oh, shit," she exclaimed, sighing as she shut off the machine and lifted the towel, careful not to spill any of her mess on the clean carpet.

"Bella!" she heard a voice call from the first floor.

Shit, it was Dad.

"I'll be out in a minute." Thank God he didn't walk in on her. That's all she needed, her father walking in on his mentally unstable daughter getting off…with a vibrator…nice.

As soon as she deposited the dirty towel in the hamper, she took off the shirt she was wearing. Dirty. She placed it in the hamper as well. Time for another shower.

She reveled again on the feel of water and soap on her skin, thinking that her orgasm was pretty good. She quickly counted her bathroom again, making sure there were twenty-two items before wrapping a towel around herself and heading over to her closet to pick out another shirt. Once dressed, she descended the stairs to meet her dad, counting the steps again on the way down.

"Hey,' she said, as she saw him in the kitchen fixing himself a tuna sandwich. Disgusting. She hated tuna, for the smell was strong, pungent, and nauseating.

"How did the session go?" Charlie asked in between bites, finally settling himself on the nearest chair in the kitchen table. Bella had to look away quickly, lest she vomited whatever she had that morning, which would cause a damper to the already mopped kitchen floor.

"Okay, she's kind of a bitch though."

"Really? I've heard she's the best."

Bella scoffed. "Yeah, considering there's only…what? Two shrinks in the entire town?"

Charlie shrugged. "You got a point there."

She mentally counted the usual thirteen steps it took her to reach the kitchen table, and plopped herself down.

"She prescribed for me two sets of medication."

Charlie raised his eyebrows. "Really? Good. Good."

Her father shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Bella knew he had a hard time dealing with Bella's…dilemma. He took her in a week ago only at her mother's request, for her depression and mania had become too much for her mother to handle. Renee had stated to Charlie that it was "his turn" so to speak, to help Bella. She had done enough, she said, and took her to the best doctors in Phoenix, but nothing worked.

Yeah, Bella thought, because I rarely took what they prescribed for me. It wasn't that she didn't want to get better, that wasn't it. It was just that she believed the medication they gave her was complete bullshit. She didn't feel any different' so there was no point in taking it.

"Have you gone to the drugstore to get it?'

Fuck. "No, I'll go in a bit," she replied.

"Why couldn't you pick it up on the way back?"

"I just didn't. I had a lot of things on my mind."

Charlie sighed. "Fine, just make sure to pick it up tonight."

Bella didn't answer him, which led to a silence that was torture for her, for Charlie continued to eat the oozing crap of stinky food in front of him. As Bella felt her breakfast that she consumed hours before rise up to her throat, she immediately stood up from her seat, hearing the chair squeak with the rapidity of her movement.

"You going out with co-workers this weekend?"

Bella stopped in her tracks. Great. Another interrogation.

"Don't know, I was thinking of staying in tonight."

Charlie sighed, a look of disappointment crossing his face. "Your mother says you should try making new friends. Get out of the house. Enjoy yourself. Don't coop yourself up in here so much; you'll only feel worse."

Her dad had a point, but it was so hard for her to just strike up a conversation with people. She was already scared and the anxiety was getting to her this past week from starting her new job at Forks High. With her teaching degree she received at University of Phoenix, she was able to get a teaching position at Forks High teaching freshman English. Her class was a fucking nightmare. She felt the students laugh at her behind her back and they were borderline disrespectful. She had to act tough but felt it was hard to do so. She vaguely mentioned it to her father that first week, but didn't feel comfortable enough to explain all the little details for embarrassment. She loved teaching…just not that horrible class. But it still wasn't going to make her go out and try to forget her shitty week.

"Yeah, I know," she replied, already heading out of the kitchen, counting the steps as she left, heading to her room to watch a romantic movie and wallow in self-pity.

Friday night Bella spent the entire night watching Gone with the Wind, her favorite old movie. Clark Gable was handsome, no doubt about that, but the sweat gleaming off his forehead throughout the entire film, and especially in the scene where he passionately kisses Scarlett before leaving to fight, was distracting enough, making any physical attraction she had to him nearly obsolete.

Saturday night was the same thing. Charlie gave her shit about it, asking her if she actually picked up her medicine, which she did, Friday night, taking the two pills every night as instructed on the label. She remembered holding the two bottles up to his face, with her usually bitchy look on her face when someone was annoying her. She wasn't feeling as depressed as before, but she felt no need to socialize either. The few people she worked with- one being Jessica Stanley who taught Home Economics as well as Mike Newton, the biology teacher, were all likeable, but Bella didn't know them enough to feel comfortable hanging out with them. In a few weeks, she kept thinking. But she knew deep down it was just an excuse. She really didn't want to see anyone.

After Saturday night's repeated viewing of When Harry Met Sally, she woke to a surprisingly sunny Sunday morning. She loved Sundays, for Sunday was cleaning day, and she could be as obsessive compulsive as possible, with no need to explain to anyone why she was such a neat freak. She knew of no one else who loved cleaning as much as she did. She remembered being a little girl and wanting to make a career out of housekeeping. Imagine, cleaning other people's messy houses, being able to unleash her unstable thoughts of cleanliness and order and get paid for it! But once she reached college she knew there wasn't a degree for cleaning unless she wanted to major in Hospitality Management, which was completely different, with her being the basically the boss of the job she actually liked, which was cleaning. But she liked English and reading well enough to become a teacher, for she figured she'd have her lessons planned out and she'd know all the answers beforehand when she'd interact with her students. No surprises, no awkwardness. That should be her motto.

As she was happily vacuuming her bedroom, thinking about the number of times she passed the roaring vacuum cleaner back and forth, she heard a loud knock on her bedroom door.

"Yeah," she called out, turning off the machine so as to be able to hear, for she knew her father wanted to say some mundane crap about fishing that Bella could give two hoots about. She loved him and thought his love of sitting for hours on a lake waiting to maybe catch a fish was somewhat cute, but at this moment she just wanted to clean.

"Bella, Billy just called," she heard him say through the closed door.

"Yeah, and? You going fishing then?"

"Um..We were but Billy wanted to see you, claims that I'm hiding you or something. You know, since he's known you ever since you were a kid…so I kind of invited him over."

Bella opened the door; her gaze meeting with Charlie's frightened one.

"What? Why? No! I'm cleaning!" Bella retorted. What the fuck? She didn't like things to be sprung up on her like this, and Charlie knew that very well. He was just a sucker and couldn't say no to anyone.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Charlie began "He's my best friend. It's not like he's a stranger, and I've been making excuses long enough for you."

Seeing her dad so upset over how she was reacting made Bella feel guilty. She really needed to take an extra dosage of her pills.

She then asked her father the question she dreaded the most. "Does he know about…?"

"Yeah, "Charlie answered, sighing, "I only told him because he's like a brother to me. I made him promise not to tell anyone else. He always keeps his word."

"Dad," Bella protested, slowly beginning to panic, "I don't like people knowing about my depre-"

He cut her off, "I know, but he doesn't think you any less for it. He even told me himself that no one's perfect." He chuckled nervously at his lame attempt to soothe her.

Bella sighed. "Fine, as long as it's just him."

She vaguely remembered her father's friend when she used to visit for short periods in the summers of her childhood. She was anti-social even then, barely speaking to his two daughters, who she vaguely remembered as well. Billy was pretty funny, from what she could recollect, as well as caring. He always treated her nicely and with respect. The whole dinner thing could turn out okay.

"It's not just him."

"Who else?"

"His son, Jacob."

"He has a son?"

"Yeah," Charlie said, laughing at Bella's ridiculous question, "You always hid away from everyone, sweetheart."

"Yeah, but I remember his two daughters."

"Well, I don't know. Boys will be boys I guess."

That really didn't explain shit to Bella but she could hardly think about that. She was going to go ahead and finish her vacuuming when Charlie touched her arm.

"Jacob's coming because Billy can't get around by himself."

At first this puzzled her, until she remembered that Billy was in a wheelchair. From what she remembered, his big personality was so dominant that his physical appearance paled in comparison. She then also recollected that he was Native American, which meant that he probably knew the greasy, dirty mechanic she met two days ago.

"Okay then, "Bella said to her father, "I just need to clean the bathroom and then I'll get ready.'

"Bella," Charlie spoke again, "You're not gonna take a long time showering again? Are you?"

"No," she answered, a little peeved she was prevented even further from cleaning.

"Okay, just checking."

"Okay, Dad," she said, closing the door and continuing her cleaning cycle.

After scrubbing the tub, the bathroom counter, and whatnot, she looked into her closet, picking out what to wear. She hated talking to new people, even people she hadn't seen in years. But she just kept telling herself she'll pull through.

She stared at her closet, immediately looking past the far right corner of her hanging garments (the black section) and her gaze settled on farthest left corner, the pastels, particularly the pinks. She loved color coordinating her closet, grouping everything together by color and then tops and pants. It made the whole choosing process a lot easier, and she wondered why more people didn't do this. It was a mystery to her. She went to her dresser drawer and pulled out the lightest pink gloves she had, for with guests coming who knew what kind of germs they brought with them.

She chose pastel pink top and newly ironed jeans from the lower middle section of blues. Pretty decent.

She then eagerly got into the shower and felt relaxed and soothed, wishing the shower would never end. But she had to be quick, so she hopped out of the shower, got dressed, made herself presentable with a touch of lip gloss, and quickly counted the twenty-two items and objects that should be in the room before heading downstairs.

She already heard voices. Oh, shit, and she thought she had time to prepare further until they arrived.

She counted the flight of steps except for the thirteenth one as usual and felt a tap on her shoulder.

"I told you not to take a long shower," Charlie whispered to her, slightly exasperated.

"I didn't."

"You took an hour in the shower. I could hear the plumbing when you turned it on and when you shut it off."

Bella's eyes widened. She was shocked, for she seriously thought she was cutting in short.

"When did they get here?"

"Half an hour ago. I told them you liked to take your time to look pretty" Charlie stated, "Which you do."

Bella smiled. "You know I always do."

She let Charlie lead her into the kitchen, where the two grown men sat side by side, chatting away. The one chair that caused the normally six chairs making everything even disappeared due to Billy being in a wheelchair, which thankfully didn't change Bella's counting. Things were starting to look good when the total number of people was four instead of an odd number she would have to count an object in place of. Everything was perfect.

"Why, hello, Bella," Billy said, smiling at the young woman.

She remembered his voice. It rung out strong, confident, and caring.

"Hi, Billy," Bella responded, "Nice to see you."

She automatically turned to his companion and nearly died when she gazed into the eyes of the dirty, grimy, sweaty mechanic from two days ago. The mechanic who she turned down. The mechanic she masturbated to that very afternoon. He looked just as shocked as she was, but his confusion slowly melted into a smile, and, like on that ill-fated Friday afternoon, he gazed at her body. His dark eyes shifted from her feet to her thighs, to her chest, up to her face again. Bella suddenly felt a rush of heat spread throughout her body. She had never been stared at with such intensity; it was as if he was ready to eat her. Charlie and Billy must have noticed this.

But when she gazed at the other two men, they were talking niceties to each other, commenting on how long Billy hadn't seen Bella, and how much she has changed.

"Charlie," Billy stated, nodding his head, "Your daughter's grown to be a very pretty girl. Gotta keep the guys away from her."

Charlie laughed. "Oh, I will." He then made a gesture as if to take out an imaginary gun, which made both men laugh and they began talking about other matters, with Charlie making his way around to his friend's other side, completely forgetting to introduce his daughter to his best friend's son. But the two didn't need any introductions, not in the least. At his father's words, Jacob shook his head, as if clearing his thoughts. Bella then saw what looked like enlightenment cross his face. He figured out something, but she had no idea what.

"I agree, Dad," Jacob said in a low tone, which none of the men heard, for they were too engrossed in their conversation, but Bella could hear as plain as day.

"Pretty," he continued, his dark eyes boring into hers, "Beautiful, actually."

Bella nearly fell over from faint. She had to steady herself by holding on to the wall with her pink gloved hand. She also needed to take another shower, for the wetness that seeped into her panties from his words was more than the incident on the highway and any of her orgasms caused by her Turbo Back Massager two thousand combined.


	3. Chapter 3 The Even Sunday Brunch

A/N- Thank you all for the wonderful reviews and the alerts and favorites! I'm glad everyone finds it interesting. I made sure to add this third chapter before the New Year!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, Stephenie Meyer does. I don't own the characters and dialogue in Titanic.

Chapter 3. The Even Sunday Brunch

"So, Bella…How's teaching coming along?" asked Billy, taking a huge bite out of his slice of pepperoni pizza.

Yes, for the big get- together the two men ordered pizza. Bella sat at the table, watching the three men eat, barely able to touch her slice. It wasn't that she didn't like pizza, per se; it was just that she was expecting a more…home-style choice of food.

"Good," she replied, using silverware she quickly got from the left cabinet the minute her father brought in the freshly delivered box, "The kids are alright. It takes a little getting used to."

She sat uncomfortably in her seat as she felt Jacob's gaze on her. Ever since she heard him utter those few words…_very pretty… beautiful, actually,_ she couldn't think of anything else.

She was very self-conscious, trying to keep her mind off his evident gaze by continuously counting the number of pizza slices left, as well as the number of pepperonis on each slice. It pissed her off that it wasn't consistent, for one slice had five while the slice next to it only had three. All odd numbers. Not a good sign.

"I guess it does, since it's your first year teaching, right?" Billy questioned.

"Yeah. It sucks though that I can't really teach the material I want to. As a new teacher, I'm basically told for the first year what authors and pieces of literature I should be teaching them."

"Ah," Billy nodded, taking another bite out of his third slice of pizza, "Well, Jacob here," and he roughly patted his son's back, causing him to snap out of his obvious stupor, " is planning on attending South Seattle Community College in the spring. He's finally going to get his degree in automotive technology."

Jacob smiled sheepishly, his face reddening from embarrassment, "Yeah, I've just decided to go for it, ya know? I'm not getting any younger, and it'll help me become a better mechanic when I take over the place."

Billy laughed, "My son plans on running Long's Auto Services once the old man retires, which should be soon."

"Does he know anything of this?" Bella asked, a little put off by the fact that they were talking so lightly of a person's supposed retirement. From the way they said it, it seemed it applied to not just that fact…but another reason why someone shouldn't be able to run a shop.

"Of course," Jacob responded, smiling warmly at Bella, taking a smaller bite of his second slice of pizza, much to Bella's relief, "Mr. Long told me himself he wants me to become in charge, and completely approves of me going to school."

"How long will it take you to get your degree?' Charlie questioned, finishing his fourth slice.

"It's not really a degree but a certificate. It's only a year, so I don't have to leave Dad for long."

"Always the good son," Billy chimed in, this time attempting to ruffle his son's hair, which didn't work, considering Jacob's hair was long, longer than Bella's, and tied neatly into a ponytail, "I just don't want you getting stuck always taking care of me."

Jacob shrugged. "Doesn't matter to me."

"Well," Charlie exclaimed, leaning back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head, " I'm glad that Bella has finally decided to come home and spend time with HER old man. Isn't that right, hun?"

"Yeah, Dad," Bella replied, lightly cutting a piece of pizza with her utensils and placing it in her mouth. She savored the delicious taste in her mouth, finally deciding that the best thing Forks had was their pizza, for she never tasted anything as good back in Phoenix.

"How's your mother doing?" Billy ventured to ask her.

"Good, good. She really likes her kids this year," Bella answered, referring to her mother's profession of teaching kindergarteners. Bella remembered when she herself was almost one of her mother's students, until the principal realized it was a bit biased for a teacher to have her own daughter in a class, considering it could lead to extreme favoritism, so she quickly placed Bella in the alternate kindergarten class, much to Bella's relief.

"Good," Billy said, sounding a bit disinterested. Bella didn't blame him. She could tell he never really liked what her mother did by leaving Charlie, which ultimately led to their imminent divorce. It could also be that Charlie was his best friend and he was only looking out for his best interest…or a combination of both.

"Let's watch the game," Charlie said suddenly, quickly getting up from his chair and heading to the fridge where he grabbed three beers.

Bella immediately realized that the entire "brunch thing" was just an excuse for the three men to watch a game. It wasn't really to see her. She felt like laughing. Men. They were all the same, even her Dad. The men watching a game was a good thing, for it gave her time to herself to read, or watch TV, or just clean, and also to escape the ever growing stare of Jacob Black.

To Bella, the three beers signified that Charlie only expected his friend and his son to be joining in what was turning out to be an already Sunday ritual.

Billy and Charlie made their way to the living room, leaving the huge mess of pizza boxes on the table. Bella sighed. Goddammit! One more disgusting thing to put up with. But a part of her secretly liked picking up a mess, for it was a small way of her being in control.

Seeing the three men leave the kitchen, she quickly set to work. Five boxes of pizza. Three slices in the fourth one, one slice in the second one, and that was about all that was left. She rolled her eyes. She was glad she already had gloves on, for she stacked the boxes neatly in a row, one on top of the other. They weren't heavy, which was a good thing, for she wouldn't have to make two trips from the dumpster out side of the house to back in the kitchen.

"Need help cleaning up?" a deep voice asked just behind her.

Bella turned around to see Jacob Black leaning against the kitchen wall, looking at her with amusement.

"Uh, no. It's cool. Go back to watching the game. I'm fine here."

"How's the car doing?"

Bella winced at Jacob's reminder of their previous meeting.

"Good. But the whole thing wasn't that big a deal anyway."

"Yeah, I know. Just asking."

The guy made her extremely nervous now. She honestly thought she'd never see him again, or at least wouldn't be so closely connected to him.

But he quickly took the boxes from her hands, "I'll take them out. Figure I'd be a gentleman."

As the boxes quickly left her gloved hands, she immediately wanted them back. It was HER job to take them out. SHE was the one who was supposed to clean everything and keep things in order, have things even.

Before she could stop herself from acting in a ridiculous manner, she snatched the boxes from Jacob's arms and opened the side door of the kitchen leading out into the backyard, where the house dumpster was only fourteen steps away. "Thanks for the offer, but I can take them out myself."

Jacob laughed, following her out, "Ooh, a woman who takes charge. I like that."

Bella opened the giant green lid; depositing the boxes one by one, making sure that there was still indeed five boxes, including the four slices, for she hated leftovers. They never tasted as good as the first time they were made or bought, and she automatically would throw anything out that would even have potential to fall into that category.

"You really shouldn't be hitting on me, ya know," she told him, slamming the heavy lid shut.

"Well, you shouldn't be lying to me," he replied, keeping in step with her quick pace as the two of them took fourteen steps to get back inside the house.

Bella felt heat creep up into her neck, "Lie about what?"

"About you having a boyfriend."

"What makes you think I don't have one?" she questioned, heading back into the kitchen table to pick up the remaining four greasy, paper plates carelessly strewn around the table. But Jacob was too quick for her, for he grabbed each and every one as if he was an experienced waiter, quickly opening the garbage with his right foot which was only five steps away from the table, and dumped them in. Bella figured he must come over to watch Sunday games a lot.

"I was going to do that…" she trailed off, but Jacob didn't listen to her.

"I figured you don't have one because one" he held out his forefinger, "he would probably be here to see you, knowing that this is kind of a get together."

Bella was about to protest but he went on, "and two" he held up a second finger, " Charlie would've said something about you already having a boyfriend when my Dad said you were pretty, instead of him saying he had to keep the guys away from you." The last sentence he said a bit huskily, walking the five paces back to closely stand near Bella.

She had no idea what to say. She couldn't make anything up, for he had caught her red-handed. She knew there was possibly some loophole to his logic in reaching that conclusion, but she knew she would only figure it out hours later, when she was alone and thinking back on the conversation. That's when every good response she should've given him would come out. But for now, since his conclusion is true, it was pointless to deny it.

"I'm sorry," she answered, feeling extremely awkward and irritated at herself for being stuck in this situation, "I…I just can't really date right now."

"Why?"

"I'm weird," she answered bluntly. The best way to reject him was to be somewhat honest.

He laughed, "Yeah, I got that."

Bella was taken aback, "How did you get that? What? I give off weird vibes?"

"Hell yes," he chuckled, moving closer to her, " You come in with dainty little gloves on and cut your pizza with a fork and knife instead of eating it like normal people with your hands and you take dainty little bites of your food, like a bird."

"Very observant," Bella remarked, automatically taking three steps back.

Jacob shrugged, "Wasn't it obvious?"

"What?"

"Me observing you."

"Why would you?"

"Because you fascinate me."

She felt a new pool of wetness seep through her panties. That was twice in one day. She needed a shower, now.

"Will you excuse me for one minute?" she choked out as she began her fourteen steps that led out of the kitchen.

But Jacob quickly grabbed her arm. His touch felt warm, and she was relieved to see that his fingernails were somewhat cleaner than the last time they'd met, and his skin was devoid of grime and soot. It gave her tingles down her spine.

"Sorry if I'm being too blunt. But like I said before, I'm very impulsive."

"But I lied to you saying I had a boyfriend. Isn't that enough to tell you I'm not interested?"

"Of course. But I'm intrigued as to why."

"I just really don't want to date right now." She made a point to move away from him completely, trying to find anything else that was messy on the table. Good thing that there was plenty, so she began to use her gloved hands and a nearby napkin on the table to pick up the various crumbs situated on three very messy chairs.

"Well, maybe we can hang out as friends," Jacob suggested, making his way to Bella's other side, attempting to help her.

Bella instinctively swatted his hand away once she realized he was only making more of a mess of things, for his attempts of picking up the crumbs with his large hands only caused them to fall to the floor, leading Bella to the nearby large cabinet six paces away where all the cleaning equipment were kept. She took out a medium-sized broom and a large scooper that went along with it. She cleaned up the crumbs in a matter of minutes.

Jacob laughed, "Wow. You're like a super housewife."

Bella raised her eyebrows. "I'm not. I just like things clean."

"I can see that."

There was a pause as Bella finished picking up the remaining thirty- seven crumbs where Billy sat as well as the twenty-nine where Charlie sat. Jacob's side only had fifteen. Very surprising.

"Is it because I'm Native American?" Jacob asked suddenly, his large hand grasping the back of the chair nearest Bella.

"No," Bella said exasperatingly, a little shocked that he would even think that.

"Then what?"

"Why are you so interested in me? "

Jacob shrugged, eyeing Bella intensely, as if trying to read her mind, "Don't know. There's just something about you. That's why I want to hang out with you at least. To find out why."

As Bella returned his gaze, she saw how curious and interested he was. He was a nice guy, to be sure. A little pushy, much to Bella's annoyance, but still nice. And his body was still amazing. She noted how his biceps automatically flexed as he still held on to the end of the chair.

"I—"

"Jacob," Charlie exclaimed, cutting Bella's words short, "You gonna watch the game or what?"

Charlie immediately surveyed the two standing close together and frowned, "Or am I interrupting something?"

"No, nothing Dad," Bella replied, moving away from Jacob, "He was just helping me clean up."

Charlie raised his eyebrows in surprise, "Jacob helping out in the kitchen? That's a sight to see."

Jacob laughed, "I'll head over there in a minute."

Bella felt the sudden awkwardness escalate as she saw her dad making no attempt to leave, he only stood near the entrance of the kitchen gazing at the young adults as if trying to figure something out.

"Okay, "Charlie said simply, shaking his head as he headed over to the living room.

"Say yes. Say you'll go out with me," Jacob whispered as soon as Charlie left.

"Uh—"Bella was taken off guard. She had no idea how to respond. Fuck. She wasn't used to confrontation and hated being put on the spot.

Jacob chuckled, "C'mon. Would it really be that bad?"

"No, not really." It was good to be honest.

"Then say yes. Just one date."

It was something out of a novel, the guy relentlessly pursuing the reluctant girl. She just couldn't believe that she was that girl. She then looked at him, _really_ looked at him. He was dressed better than when she first met him, but his clean t-shirt was still wrinkly, as if he couldn't be bothered to iron it. The tops of his sneakers were a bit dirty. What she wouldn't give to scrape it off clean. But overall, he looked cleaner, more kempt than before. It was enough for her to even consider it.

"Okay," she said softly. She felt dizzy, light-headed. She was consumed by turmoil of emotions; for she was a bit happy that a guy would want to go out with her that bad, but a bit pissed that he rendered her basically unable to string out words confidently and coherently, as well as making her extremely horny for said reason.

He smiled. "Good. I was thinking for a minute that it was gonna be hopeless."

Bella laughed nervously, "One chance. You have one chance."

"I know. You won't be disappointed," he nodded then, as if convincing himself of that fact.

"You better get to watching the game," Bella persisted, heading out of the kitchen herself after placing the broom as well as the scooper back into the human-sized cabinet.

"Yeah, wouldn't want Charlie and Dad to be pissed, figuring it's the main reason I came here."

"You guys do this every Sunday?"

"No, more like every other Sunday," Jacob replied, grinning.

"Dad didn't bother to tell me." Bella rolled her eyes, smiling. She suddenly felt all the sexual tension and awkwardness leave, as if her finally saying yes was able to bring the two at a friendlier, neutral ground.

"Probably wanted you to have lunch with us," Jacob ventured to guess. As the two of them walked the fourteen steps out of the kitchen and into the living room, Jacob inclined his head, as if stating that Bella should join them.

"Nah, it's okay," she said, shaking her head, "I hate sports."

Jacob looked at her in surprise, "You agree to go out with me but you don't want to watch a game with me." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah, I figure you'd have to completely convince me that I want to date _during_ the date, not anywhere else. If I hang out with you now it would be considered cheating."

Jacob bit his lip, but his dark eyes twinkled with delight, "Fair enough."

And with that, he sat down next to Charlie, the two men so engrossed with the television screen that they didn't even comment on Jacob's sudden arrival.

Bella watched him for awhile. It was as if nothing happened, for Jacob quickly concentrated on the various bulky football buffoons tackling each other. Men.

She climbed the twenty-eight steps up the stairs,excluding the thirteenth one, and once again was in her room. She threw herself down on the bed, smiling. Her first date in a long time…more like years actually. She wouldn't admit that to anyone, for it was embarrassing enough that it was completely true. She was just too anti-social to go out much in order to meet people, even to make friends. Bella believed her luck all of a sudden stemmed from her taking her medication. Perhaps this Dr. Jenkins really knew what she was talking about.

She was going out on a date with a car mechanic. It was strange, and unexpected. It was like a story, a novel; the two most unlikely people getting together, even when one of them was initially wary of the other. She prayed he would be clean and his clothes would at least be ironed that night. Bella had no idea how long they would last…she'd figure a week, a couple of days until she realized she couldn't stand his line of work and normal appearance but for now, she reveled in an actual romantic outing.

Bella seriously considered whipping out her turbo friend right then and there, grabbing Stephenie Laurens, and pleasuring herself to oblivion, but knowing that the guy she'd be fantasizing about was a mere thirty –two steps downstairs was enough to embarrass her.

Her gaze shifted to her room, trying to find some spot she forgot to clean, but to her disappointment, she'd cleaned everything. Repeatedly. So much that she'd have to dirty an object or something in order to clean it again, and she _really_ didn't want to do that.

The next best thing was looking through her DVD collection, running her forefinger across each title as she contemplated which one best suited her current mood. She always looked through her movies backwards, non-alphabetically. It was her little way of rebelling, even if in the back of her mind she knew the whole thing was nuts anyway. So she browsed through her "romance" section, trying to find something relatable.

You've Got Mail. Cute, but no. It wasn't really capturing her situation and what she felt at the moment.

Wuthering Heights. Definitely not, even though Jacob Black fit Heathcliff's description to a tee, they were never childhood friends and she was glad Jacob wasn't as evil and ruthless as Heathcliff. Scratch that one out.

Serendipity. Loved it, but no. The two people initially like each other and they leave everything to fate to get together. Jacob Black was definitely _not_ like that.

Titanic. Hmmmm…interesting. Rose was a classy, beautifully dressed girl who initially was disgusted by poor, dirty, unkempt Jack. But they soon fall in love and the rest is history. Pretty good.

She popped the movie into her DVD player, being careful to place the jacket back in its proper spot.

The movie began, with Bella being completely taken away no matter how many times she'd seen the movie by the beautiful costumes. She was jealous of how beautiful Kate Winslet looked. Her red hair was gorgeous. She then imagined that she was Rose DeWitt Bukater, and that she was rich and beautiful, and had Jack, who she mentally replaced with Jacob, imagining him teaching her how to spit and dance like they did among the lower class people of the boat.

_Bella shows Jacob the gorgeous, clear diamond belonging to her fiancée._

"_Jacob, I want you to draw me like one of your French girls, wearing this…"_

"_All right," Jacob replied, completely at ease._

"_Wearing only this." She was sure, positive that she wanted him more than anything, wanted to show him a part of herself that she had never shared with any man. She wanted to feel erotic, and she wanted to feel it with Jacob._

_She felt the smooth, clean upholstery of the ancient couch as she felt the cold hit her bare breasts. Her heart was pounding. She had never felt more sexy and beautiful than at that moment, looking at her would be lover._

_She saw Jacob catch his breath as he stared at her naked body, the beautiful diamond hanging loosely on her chest. _

_She loved the way he was suddenly nervous, his former confidence over painting nude women suddenly gone, only to be replaced with a fumbling, awestruck boy looking at the woman he loved in such an intimate way._

_Bella watched as Jacob sketched her, as she laid, not moving an inch…._

She immediately heard laughter, which made her lower the sound on the movie. She didn't hear the sound of the television downstairs anymore, and left her room to see what was happening.

She barely even attempted to take the thirteen steps down to the first floor when she heard her father's voice, ringing loud and clear, talking to Jacob as he was wheeling Billy out the door.

"Son, I don't know what's going on between you and Bella but it's not a good time for her to…enter into something."

Bella saw that Billy nodded, and she remembered that Billy knew what she was going through and suddenly became afraid that her Dad would tell Jacob.

"I don't understand."

"I'm keeping true to my word," Charlie stated, making the invisible gun motion he made previously at the table, all in a joking manner.

"We're just gonna hang out, Charlie. No worries,' Jacob responded, putting his hands up as in defense.

"I know how you are, Jacob," Charlie reminded him.

"Jake," Billy interrupted, attempting to wheel himself out since his son was rendered immovable by Charlie's comment, "Charlie's right, just hold off on Bella. We should get going."

Jacob nodded, finally wheeling his father out the door, bidding his farewell to his father's friend, before he sensed someone watching him, and looked up to see Bella watching him closely.

He was determined. He would get her any way he can. Instead of Charlie's half-ass warning of staying away from his daughter making him suddenly disinterested, it only made him want this overly prissy, controlling girl even more. Why was Charlie so set on him not getting close to her besides her being his precious daughter? There had to be something, and he was going to find out exactly what it was.

He smirked at her, raising his eyebrows, and walked out the door, pushing his father out.

Bella didn't know what to think. Someone else was on the brink of knowing her embarrassing problem and she was scared. Billy would probably then tell Jacob, and the one guy who'd shown interest in her in a long time would suddenly be disgusted. She hated herself for caring, for she initially didn't like him at all, and she would probably dump him later, but she couldn't stand the idea of him suddenly losing interest in _her_. It would bruise her ego and self-esteem considerably.

"Thanks, Dad" she said sarcastically, "You tell me to make friends and go out and the one time someone shows interest and wants to hang out with me you tell them about my problem."

"I didn't tell him, sweetheart. I just…don't think you're ready to get into a romantic relationship yet. Friends, yes. But give yourself time. I don't think I can handle you in an emotional heartbreak.'

Bella felt heat t rise in her chest, anger boiling within her. She hated people telling her what to do. This day suddenly sucked more than fucking anything. She couldn't say another word to her father. She couldn't be responsible for the consequences of her actions if she opened her mouth to respond.

In her room, she immediately had to make sure everything was perfect. She saw dust accumulating on her collection of DVDs, and used one of the various cloths located in her dresser drawer to wipe it off. She took out the DVD of Titanic, angrily shoving it into the DVD case and placing it in its proper place. She was so fucking pissed at her Dad that she didn't know what to do. She had to be in control, she just had to. In the bathroom, she quickly counted the supposed twenty-two objects, making sure they were still there. For if at least that room was even, then she could be assured most definitely that at least something was all right in her little world.

Cleaning. That was the only thing that could possibly make her happy at the moment, but before she could make any attempt to get the vacuum cleaner again, she heard a tapping at her window.

Who the flying fuck was that? Some kind of fucking bird that was attempting to destroy her newly clean window?

Her eyes widened as she saw an arm reach out, attempting to open her window. But her frightened expression turned to confusion and shock as she saw Jacob's head pop out, as he tapped on the window again for her to open it.

Once opening the heavy window, Jacob breathlessly asked her, "Your cell number?"

"Uh- I-"Bella was too shocked to respond quickly.

"Quick, Bella. My dad's waiting in the car. Told him I forgot my wallet or some shit like that. Tell me before Charlie still sees he's still out there."

Bella quickly went over to the desk near her room to get the pen and paper located in the second drawer.

"No time," Jacob said, "Just tell me. I'll memorize it."

She told him and he smirked again.

"Thursday night?"

"Yeah."

"Call you then."

And as quickly as he came, he left. Bella heard a loud thud as he obviously landed on the ground. How he was able to climb up there was beyond her comprehension, until she saw the large oak tree situated near her room. He climbed that? He was some kind of Superman.

He got her number. He still wanted to see her. She felt a blush creeping up into her cheeks. The day was suddenly better. Her dad wouldn't know anything. She would see how her first date went with Jacob and then take it from there. As she surveyed the already clean room, she seemed to look at it with new eyes. Everything was in its right place, and for the rest of the day, she could finish watching Titanic, right where she left off, with Jacob being enamored with her naked body, with the beautiful diamond hanging around her neck.


	4. Chapter 4 The Even School Day

A/n: Thanks to everyone who reviewed, alerted, and favorited this story. I appreciate it so much and hope you all continue reading it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does.

Chapter 4. The Even School Day

Tyler Crowley. It was a name Bella came to hate that horrible Monday morning as she tapped her blue ballpoint pen three quick times on her third period class roster.

"Tyler Crowley?" she called out a second time as she was taking attendance, frantically looking at the sleepy twenty-three faces facing her in the closed, cramped, and dingy English classroom.

She came to the fast conclusion that he was just absent for the day, leading her to find a way to deal with the odd number of students. Great. A dent on her already good fucking Monday.

She spent a later portion of the previous night preparing for her lectures for today, with the process not taking so long because she already had the long list of required books to teach her freshmen classes. So _A Midsummer Night's Dream_ it was. She herself wouldn't have chosen that as a starter to Shakespeare, much preferring the more appealing, yet simplistic _Romeo &Juliet_, but a job was a job.

Everything was going great before this drastic change. A guy asked her out and she accepted the previous night, as well as spending a good portion of the day doing the things she loved- watching romantic movies and cleaning. Great.

But Tyler Crowley was slowly ruining her otherwise pretty normal Monday. Her previous classes had given her no trouble…compared to last week's fiasco of children constantly snickering behind her back. At the time, she only had one student ally, a skinny boy with thick-rimmed glasses named Aaron Phillips. He was always quick to respond to any of her questions and contributed greatly to class discussions. He was beginning to be one of her favorite students, for his regular nice, collared white shirts were constantly clean of any stains and looked as if they were regularly ironed and pressed.

But Aaron's first contribution to class this period was less than satisfying, for he raised his hand confidently.

"Yes, Aaron?"

"I talked to Tyler before class just now and he said he had to drop your class."

Bella's eyes widened. "Why?" She couldn't' help asking it. It was completely unprofessional at the moment but the words just seemed to blurt themselves out.

Aaron shrugged. "He said it was too hard for him."

The rest of the class began to snicker. Fuck. She was back to square one with them.

"This isn't an advanced course, so I don't see what the problem is."

Aaron could do nothing but shrug a second time. "Don't know, Ms. Swan."

Bella opened the left hand drawer on the side of her desk to take out a new, white handkerchief to wipe the beads of nasty sweat that were slowly dripping from her forehead. Twenty-three students. Twenty-four chairs. She couldn't count her desk in because than that would be twenty-five.

When she first entered her classroom the week before, she was glad to see that everything added up to an equal number, she even had twenty-four students. It was easy for her to exclude herself since she had to view herself as a step above her students. If not, she knew she wouldn't be as authoritative as she felt she needed to be in order to gain her students' respect. She quickly racked her mind for objects in the room that could make everything even, but nothing seemed to work. Even though Tyler was missing, his fucking desk was still there. Still staring at her, mocking her. She imagined the lone desk that was formerly Tyler Crowley's situated on the far aisle down three seats smiling at her wickedly, as if challenging her to last through the entire hour and a half period without a body occupying it.

She felt herself becoming flushed. She was hyperventilating. She took her pills last night so she had no idea why this was happening. But something had to be done. She knew she had to finish calling roll, but couldn't bring herself to do it. Bella was on the verge of going down to the office herself and demanding the secretary to tell her exactly what was Tyler's excuse for dropping her class. But that frantic act could lead to her termination, so she opted for the second best choice. Eliminate the desk.

To her students' amazement, she marched to where the isolated desk stood. Bella could almost see the evil grin spreading widely on the front edge of the desk which could be mistaken for a mouth. She was going insane, quite literally; but she honestly didn't give a fuck.

Two gloved hands wrapped themselves around the sides of the inanimate object, dragging it out of the classroom, the scraping of the legs on the polished floor making a sound reminiscent of nails on a chalkboard. Bella's students followed their half-crazed teacher, mouths agape.

She was glad to see that no one was wandering in the hallway, for a part of her mind knew what she was doing was crazy, but she felt it to be somewhat of an "out-of body" experience, that is, she felt as if she was merely watching herself take out a desk from her class, for no obvious reason, without thinking if she might need that desk for the next period.

She lined it up against the wall beside the entrance to her classroom, took a deep breath, and stepped inside to find Aaron, as well as half of her pupils, gazing at her and whispering. Embarrassment suddenly kicked in. Fuck. Fuck. .

How in the world will she cover it up? She racked her brain for something plausible, but she was forming a blank.

"That desk was a little rickety," she stammered, trying to feign lightness, but no one was buying it.

_Finish calling roll,_ she thought to herself_, pretend as if nothing happened and show them who's boss._

"D'Agostino, Mitchell?" she proceeded to call, pen poised above her roster, not daring to meet the gaze of the now stunned students, all of whom quickly put away their Blackberrys, IPhones, and any other devices they were accustomed to using during their classes, as well as sticking their overly chewed gum underneath their desks, and for the first time, rather shockingly, Bella Swan finally had the entire class's undivided attention for the rest of the period.

"Dude, Crowley's gonna have an ass-whooping for dropping Swan's class!" a bulky, freshman football player by the name of Marc Waters called loudly a couple of feet away from Bella, obviously unaware of her presence.

"Dude, I fucking know. I was gonna drop the class too but fuck if I do now!" his friend by the name of Josh Stone commented as well. He never said much in class, and was a bit meek. So it surprised Bella greatly that he was using such profanity.

She smiled all the same as she stepped into her tiny office after a stress free day. She mentally counted the forty-two items that she placed in the room on purpose to make her teaching at the school more tolerable. But she discovered she was able to do that all on her own, for her little stunt had quite the opposite affect that she was expecting.

She brushed off a tiny crumb on the left cushion of her chair and plopped herself down, feeling her heart slow down from the quick rate it was going at previously. All was right with the world.

A sudden knock at her door caused her to nearly fall off her chair.

"Yes?" she called out, situating herself properly on the seat as she instinctively smoothed out an invisible crease on her black sweater.

"Bella, Can I come in?"

Mike Newton. She sighed. "Sure."

She always felt nervous around Mike. He was just so peppy and obviously on so much caffeine that it greatly affected her peace of mind. He needed a depressant as much as she needed an anti.

"Hey," he said, smiling awkwardly as he shifted his weight from left to right. Today he was jittery. Great.

"Hey."

"Listen, I heard about what happened in your class."

The beating of her heart slightly increased.

_Play it cool, Swan. Play it cool,_ she mentally told herself, _He's probably gonna say how funny it was…and a little weird. That's all. No need to get scare-_

"Principal Fuller isn't pleased."

_Okay, get scared. _

"What?"

"He heard a few students talking about it…and how they all think now that you suddenly blow up because one of your students drops your class."

"Bu—But," Bella forced herself to get the words out. She was too nervous to think coherently, "That wasn't why I took out the chair."

"Then why did you?"

What the fuck was she supposed to say? Because it didn't belong there? Because mathematically it didn't make the room even? That she couldn't function because the chair was there? No, this wasn't anything she could possibly say, especially to someone as nosy and overly friendly as Mike Newton.

"I—I just didn't see the point with Tyler Crowley not being there," she said lamely.

"But..." Mike was at a complete loss for words. A teacher doesn't usually do something like that without a valid explanation of some sorts. Bella Swan obviously wanted to make a statement to her students in order to gain their respect, but the results could be more damaging than good.

"Bella," He began, "I know what it's like being the new teacher and all. And that you wanna gain their respect, but it's always better to instill respect with kindness and warmth. Fear isn't the best way to gain respect, no matter what others might say."

Bella smiled sadly, genuinely moved by Mike's speech. She believed everything he said, for she clearly remembered her own freshman English teacher, and how she placed Bella in the broom closet for chewing gum, causing Bella to hate dust and bacteria more than ever before, for the mold that grew from the upper shelf of that dark, cramped space was enough to make her vomit. She hated Mrs. Gillespie after that day, imagining her face to the be exact replica of the various amoebas one would see in a microscope, for that was what the bitch was…an amoeba or any gross thing like it that resembled bacteria.

But how could she tell Mike the truth?

"I know…I think the students mistook what I meant. I never meant it that way."

Mike sighed. "Yeah, that's what I figured, which is what I told Fuller."

"Principal Fuller talked to you?" Bella asked speculatively, amazed at how Mike was able to hear things directly from the source.

"Yeah, but only because I was right there...printing out things in the office for a pop quiz, ya know?" he said sheepishly.

Bella rolled her eyes.

"He wanted to talk to you," Mike continued as he leaned forward, almost tiptoeing, "But I told him you were just nervous. It's only the beginning of the second week, and that I would talk to you myself."

"Oh my God," Bella breathed, hanging her head down. She was almost reprimanded. Shit. Shit. Fuck. She felt her entire body bundle up in a ball of nerves; she knew she was very close to hyperventilating.

"Bella, its fine," Mike assured her, "He wasn't pissed or anything, just a little weirded out."

"Ha, no kidding," Bella said nervously, rubbing her gloved hands together.

Mike looked over his shoulder past the open door and into the hallway, "Listen, I gotta go meet my Biology club students, but—"he gazed at Bella in what could only be described as pity. He saw a lot of himself in her. A new teacher, not sure what to do, "it's okay. Don't stress over it. At least it's me talking to you about it, right?"

He noted Bella's still apprehensive look before smiling softly, "If it was really serious, nothing I could say would stop Fuller from having a meeting with you."

Bella could only stare back at him.

He smiled warmly now, "See ya around." And with that, he walked out of her office.

She could only sit there for a couple of minutes, too lost in thought to do much of anything else. She knew what Mike said was pretty logically sound, but the fact that she did something that was slightly frowned upon more than startled her. The panic slowly rose within her chest, causing her hands to shake. She was glad it was the end of the day, no more classes; she can just go home in peace. But she found it difficult to physically get up of her chair, collect the fourteen things she needed, and head out the door. It was as if she was rooted to her spot. A black hole seemed to grow wider within her chest, making her feel empty. She needed to talk to someone, and now wished that Mike hadn't left so soon. It was better to have Mr. Happy than no one at all.

She still didn't know her father's work or cell number by heart so she opened her leather phonebook located on the right inside pocket of her Liz Claiborne bag and flipped through the pages, her hands trembling. Her hand stopped though, when she reached the "J"s. Dr. Jenkins. Her new Psychiatrist. The receptionist did tell her to call if it was an emergency, and this definitely was. But would she get pissed? She toyed with the idea in her head, feeling pathetic calling her doctor after only one visit. But as she became more in tune with the inner turmoil slowly spinning out of control, she didn't think twice as she whipped out her cell phone and dialed the number. The Doctor's emergency number.

"Hello?" a husky voice answered.

"Hello?" Bella was expecting a more composed voice.

"Who is this?" Dr. Jenkins asked, sitting up in her down comforter bed in the brand new Ritz Carlton in Hawaii. She gazed down at her husband, who was slowly leaving a trail of kisses down her right arm.

"Dr. Jenkins?" Bella asked hesitantly, sure she had misdialed.

"Yes?" Dr. Jenkins couldn't believe it; a fucking patient was calling her. On her vacation. With her husband. In the middle of an intense session of foreplay. Un-fucking-believable.

"Dr. Jenkins? It's Bella Swan."

"Yes, Bella. Are you okay?" Dr. Jenkins asked, not even trying to hide the monotonous tone in her voice. Her new patient was the only one who even thought of interrupting her wonderful vacation. The Doctor's mouth parted slightly at the feel of her husbands' tongue in her ear.

"No, not really," Bella replied. It was best to not bullshit her with a fake greeting of being "fine."

"What's going on?" Dr. Jenkins nearly moaned as his hands traveled down to squeeze and then caress her hardened breasts.

"I- I think I'm having a panic attack."

"Wha-Where are you?" She could barely get the words out, for the man lying next to her titillating her to her heart's content was now pulling down her underwear, which only signaled the near end of Dr. Jenkins being able to form a cohesive thought. She had to hang up, and quick.

"I'm at work. I think I might get fired."

"What for?" the Doctor asked, her voice muffled from the pressure her face made with her pillow, for she felt herself being turned over to lie facedown on the bed, her bare ass in the air.

"I lost it in class today. A student dropped out and his empty desk drove me nuts. I dragged the empty desk out and my boss is wondering if I'm insane," Bella blurted out, wanting to get the embarrassing story out as quickly as possible, not even wanting to dwell on it much longer.

Dr. Jenkins's eyes widened even with the intense stimulation. "Bella, you need to distract your mind."

"I know," Bella answered exasperatingly, "I know that but I can't seem to do it." She almost banged her hand against the desk, tears of frustration slowly trickling down her cheeks.

"Honey, stop" the Doctor whispered to her husband, gently swatting his hand away. A patient crying on the phone was enough to snap her out of her sexed up state.

"What?"

"Nothing," Dr. Jenkins quickly answered Bella, "I'm just saying that you should think of something that could possibly distract you, make you feel more secure. Because that's where this obsession with everything being perfect comes from…inadequacies. What makes you feel great?"

Bella bit her lip. "A guy is interested in me."

"Good," Dr. Jenkins stated, turning to her husband and placing a soft kiss on his forehead. It was her way of signaling to him that she will get to him soon. He knew the drill.

"Think of that when you feel that you can't handle something different that life throws at you."

"Okay," Bella said hesitatingly, not expecting the call to be so short.

"Just think of that for now," the Doctor reassured her, "You've only been on the medication for barely even a week right now, so just give it some time."

She then thought a moment before she asked her patient, "Have there been any other breakdowns?"

"No."

"Okay, then. Just making sure. If it's more than this one I'd have to seriously think of increasing the dosage."

Bella's eyes lit up. "Can you?'

Dr. Jenkins felt her husband stirring beside her, making a not- so–subtle attempt to grab her tits again.

"I really suggest waiting awhile. Do what I suggested to you and we'll see how you feel when you come back for your next visit.

Bella bit her lip. She didn't think the medication would work in the first place, for as she told the Doctor previously, they never did.

"Fine."

"Good," Dr. Jenkins said as if she was speaking to a child, "Now, just take a deep breath and think happy, secure thoughts."

"Alright. Thanks Doctor."

"You're welcome," she whispered as she lightly pressed the END button on her cell and placed it on the nightstand, sinking back into the pillows while the restless man beside her quickly took off her shirt and unsnapped her bra.

"That was a long talk, baby," he grunted in her ear.

"No," his wife disagreed, leaning forward to nibble in his ear, loving the feel of his hard-on on her leg, "it was pretty damn short."

He chuckled softly, "Yeah. And I know why."

"Why?"

"Because you are just _aching _for my cock."

And with that, the couple disappeared underneath a thick bundle of white, lacy, comforters, their moans heard by half the guests on their floor.

Coffee. That's the one thing Bella wanted at this moment. Black coffee. It calmed her down considerably. Dr. Jenkins told her to think of sure, soothing thoughts. And even though it was four in the afternoon, coffee was the only thing to calm her down. She knew she was fucking weird, for coffee was supposed to energize you, but it was somewhat of a tea for Bella. She could easily serve herself a cup at the lounge, but she wanted to get away from the building as soon as possible, so after fixing up every little nook and cranny in her tiny office (while still counting the forty-two objects that should still be there, excluding the items she would be taking with her) she locked the door three times, the entire time only focusing her thoughts on her coffee, and Jacob Black as well.

He was so fucking sexy. She dreamed last night of how he would look like naked- how his plush lips would feel against hers, how his broad, bulky chest would feel pressed against her breasts. A guy never made her feel as horny as he did. She could put their first meeting on the side of the road behind her, for she could see that he was perfectly capable of dressing and smelling decent. The fact that he climbed up to her room to ask her out on a date was another factor in allowing her to eliminate her former fears. But the cup of coffee would do her good as well. But where could she possibly get one?

"Excuse me," she asked the seventy-year old school janitor just as he was finishing up mopping the entrance to the gym, where various swoosh of basketballs entering the seven foot high baskets were easily heard.

"Yeah?" the man asked his voice rough. He was obviously annoyed at her unprecedented interruption.

"Where's a place to get a good cup of coffee?"

His eyes widened. "Uh, that would have to be Serenity. They have good cup o' Joe's as well as cappuccinos. Or so I've heard." He looked away, as if embarrassed that he actually knew of a type of drink that was so feminine in his tough, masculine mind.

"Where's that?"

"Off Miller."

"Okay, thanks."

Bella jogged to her car, turning the ignition after making sure everything about her vehicle was even numbered; roll up the sock on her left, roll up the sock on her right. Great. Good to go.

It was easy to find the cute, quaint shop. She was surprised at its name, for Serenity was perfect for her predicament. She needed to find a sense of serenity, and bad. The place was extremely neat and tidy, to Bella's relief, and the shop was decorated in a soft, delicate pink with white, French-style coffee tables laid out against the walls of the room, with a few looking out the window. She situated herself in the second table, for it was the only even numbered one that wasn't occupied.

"What can I get for you?" a short, bubbly, blonde waitress asked her, her bright pink pen poised above her notepad, ready to take Bella's order.

"Just a cup of coffee please," Bella replied, looking into her purse to make sure she had the various spoons and utensils she always took with her in case she decided to go to a restaurant on a whim. As soon as her gloved hand made contact with the round head of the spoon, she let out an involuntary sigh of relief.

She then met the waitress's puzzled gaze.

"No special coffee?" she asked, surprised.

"No, thanks. Just coffee, black."

"Black? But we have such good specials today," the girl gushed, "We have peppermint cappuccino as well as sprinkled eggnog and a new caramel latte-"

"No, thanks," Bella said firmly, hating when waiters tried to deter her from ordering what she wanted.

"Wow, what a plain drink," said a voice behind the now visibly upset waitress. The girl turned around and her eyes widened as both girls took in the tall, muscular, Native American man standing before them, a wide grin plastered on his handsome face.

"Jacob," Bella breathed without thinking how desperate and needy she sounded.

But the feeling disappeared completely when she took in his attire. He had a stained gray t-shirt, with a huge fucking hole on the left side, and he was sweaty, greasy, and reeked of gasoline.

What the fuck did she get herself into?

Her eyes met the waitress's; one of them had a complete look of disgust on her face while the other could only gaze admiringly on the handyman.

"Bella," Jacob said with a smile, "I'm actually not surprised to see you here," he said, sitting down on the chair opposite her without so much as an invitation.

"What makes you say that?" Bella asked, annoyed.

"I'll have a frozen hot chocolate," Jacob told the smiling waitress, who was looking at him as if he was a hot commodity.

"Sure, one black coffee and one frozen hot chocolate coming up," she chirped, leaving the two of them alone.

They both looked at each other, Bella being in confusion over her conflicting feelings concerning Jacob and Jacob merely being extremely interested in finding her again.

"So, what brings you here?"

"I could ask the same of _you_,_"_ Bella replied, eyeing him warily.

Jacob huffed jokingly, "What does that mean?"

"Well, look at your attire."

"My…_attire?_" He laughed, "Who uses words like that anymore?"

"I do."

"Well, I sometimes come over here after a long day at the auto shop. You know, to relax and drink a good hot coco."

Bella couldn't stop staring at his dirtied fingernails touching the beautifully decorated table. What a shame.

"You don't like how I'm dressed, do you?" Jacob asked. But he didn't seem upset about it, quite the contrary; he was rather intrigued.

"No, not really."

"If you haven't noticed," he said, leaning over and replying huskily, "I am in a line of work where I have to…what's the word? Oh, yeah. Get rough and dirty?"

Bella's cheeks suddenly flushed. He was flirting with her, and even though the smell of car and oil was rather nauseating, she still found his words quite appealing.

"That's two words, actually."

"Oh," he replied, putting his hands up as in defense, all the while chuckling, "Sorry, Miss English teacher."

"I would have to lower your grade because of that, you know," she said with a smile.

"Then I'd be more than willing to serve my after- school detention, with you telling me exactly what you want me to write on that board of yours," he stated, raising his eyebrow at her, as if challenging her to call him out on his obvious implications.

_Fuck me_ . _That's what I want you to write on that board, Jacob Black, _Bella thought to herself, feeling the familiar cold, oozing sensation seeping from her inner core.

"I'd have to tell you to write 'Come in with your shirt tucked to class and your hair combed' ".

He gave her a hurt, puppy dog look, grabbing the ends of his long black hair and gazed at it, "What's wrong with my hair?"

"You should get it trimmed," Bella blurted out. Goddamn! Couldn't she ever keep her fucking mouth shut?

"Wow, you're very bossy," Jacob observed.

"That's a first."

He looked at her questioningly. "No one's ever told you that?"

"No, people usually say I'm quiet and withdrawn."

"Well, you don't seem like that to me," he mused, brushing his hair behind him, "You seem like a woman who knows what she likes and dislikes."

She nodded, "True."

"But know this," he whispered, grabbing her hands in his charcoaled ones, causing Bella to slightly cringe at the possible number of germs her beautiful gloves were accumulating, " You can't always tell me what to do."

"I don't."

He laughed, "No, you do. I know enough about you already to come to the conclusion that you're very neat and you like things your way, for whatever reason. But then, so do I."

"Like things neat?" Bella questioned, a skeptical look crossing her face.

"Haha," Jacob declared, to which Bella burst out laughing.

"No," he continued, "I meant...like things my way."

They gazed at each other, brown eyes meeting black. Bella felt what seemed like a shock of electricity run from her hands all the way up to her shoulder blades. The absolute masculinity of his big hands was new to her, for she hadn't been this close to a man in a long time, and only for a split second, wondered what it would be like to touch Jacob's hand without a glove on.

"And what's that?" she whispered.

"Me leaving right now so this doesn't accidentally turn into our first date," he said, suddenly getting up.

Bella was flabbergasted. "Wha- but…your drink."

"To go," he said simply.

He then made his way to the counter in the middle of the little shop, taking a hot chocolate the servers had obviously already prepared for him, for Bella noticed that cup was idly placed in a corner a minute before. He never planned on staying.

"I always get my hot chocolate to go," he stated, as if that fully explained it, "You being here was just a little appetizer before the main course on Thursday."

He dropped two tens on the table, which Bella mentally counted as part of the even set, excluding Jacob, which would be a lot easier the second he walks out the door, which would be very soon.

"I'm picking you up at eight," he told her.

"I don't think I'll-"

"At eight," he repeated, smiling at her before heading out the door.

Bella was speechless. He was the pushy type…liked things his own way. That could only mean trouble; for she already knew she'd take longer and wouldn't be ready by eight that night. But that would be her upper hand, her way to gain the little control she would have over…whatever relationship they had.

As she gazed at the two bills laid out in folds on the table, she couldn't help but let her mind wander to a movie she used to watch frequently where a guy meets a girl one night. In a coffee house and each of them leaves everything up to fate, both sipping on their decorated hot chocolate and writing phone numbers and names in books and money. Pretty cutesy movie, but then again, neither one of them were Bella Swan, or Jacob Black, as she was beginning to realize. No, Jacob and Bella decided their own fate, but the question was, was their fate compatible?


	5. Chapter 5 The Even Preparations

A/N: Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews! They're the ones that keep me motivated to write...Again, Thanks.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, Stephenie Meyer owns everything.

Chapter 5. The Even Preparations

Bella couldn't get the _Serendipity_ movie out of her head. She liked to imagine herself having a lot in common with the movie's female protagonist, Sara Something, played by Kate Beckinsale. The two characters in the movie got together and met through a pair of gloves, from Bella's limited recollection (since she hadn't seen the movie in over a year). It was also the fact that she and Jacob shared their first semi-date in a coffee shop, which looked and sounded exactly like the one in the movie. Coincidence or destiny?

She mentally shook herself. Snap the fuck out of it, Bella. She began to reconsider her choice of having her usual black coffee; for she was sure the drink was clouding her thinking. The way Jacob looked today reminded her of the first time she met him- dirty, and she doubted she would get through their first date that week. Then she thought about him living on the reservation (which was pretty much a community of its own) and the unlikelihood of her seeing him at the coffee shop, as well as all the other times she'd seen him. The whole thing helped her to recollect a certain quote from that cute but slightly forgettable romantic comedy: _You don't have to understand. You just have to have faith…in destiny._ Was she destined to be connected to this guy somehow? It was a really romantic sentiment, but wholly unrealistic.

As she got into her car and performed her sock ritual, roll up sock on left, roll up sock on right, smooth out crease on left leg pant, smooth out crease on right leg pant. Make sure everything in the car was even- side doors. Check. Back doors. Check . Front wheels. Check. Back wheels. Check. Front seats. Check. Back seats. Check. Front seat belts. Check. Back seat belts. Check. Two front mirrors. Check. Exclude steering wheel. Check. Perfect. Turn on ignition, and away we go.

Bella drove at her usual seventy miles an hour, completely forgetting about her crash three days ago, which could've resulted in Charlie finding out. She smiled. Once you like the feel of speeding, you can't really stop. She continued to count the traffic lights as she drove home. All she wanted to do was snuggle up with her trusty friend Turbo. That was the name she came up with while she was in the coffee shop the minute Jacob left, knowing then and there that she had to get off to him.

Once she made it home and performed her opening door ritual, she counted her way up to her room, changed into comfortable clothes from the gray section of her "hanging out at home" part of her closet, and from under her bed, took out the still new box where Turbo lay, just waiting for her. She'd normally peruse one of her trashy romances but she had to thank Jacob this time for providing more than excellent stimulus to fuck herself with. The image of him pounding her to oblivion in her own classroom was enough to get her wet already. But she had to take care of one thing before she'd start one of her favorite rituals- a shower.

Once taking her "hanging out" wear into the bathroom and counting the twenty-two items within the room, she was ready to immerse herself for a wonderful shower. Ridding herself of the various odors of being contained in a stuffy classroom as well as the fumes of coffee and the smell of "outside" she lathered her body with soap, thoughts consumed with the Native- American guy who was giving her the best wet dreams and orgasms of her life. If it wasn't for her already deciding to pleasure herself until her eyes rolled in the back of her head on her comfortable bed, she would've been already touching herself in the shower. She felt like it, she really did, and could just imagine Jacob's manly hands all over her breasts, teasing her nipples, taking them in his mouth and sucking on them as if he was a baby and then he'd lift her up and she'd wrap her legs around his waist, his pants already down as well as her magically wearing no panties (though otherwise she would die before she'd even step foot out of the bathroom with no panties on) and his huge member sliding its way into her already wet core.

She opened her eyes wide at the mental picture, in the shower no less. No, she always masturbated on her bed and that's when she would let her thoughts wander. On her bed. Not in the shower.

An hour later, after being properly dressed to perform such a feat, she sprawled herself on her bed, cleaning the vibrator beforehand with one of her many towels she kept on top of her dresser. You never know how dirty something is, even in a box, and are never free from dust. She then turned her best friend on, and placed Turbo in between her soaking legs. She conjured mental images of those she had in the shower, and let her imagination run loose.

She returned to him sucking on her hardened nipples, her legs wrapped around his chest, and he was already inside of her. He was panting in her ear, and suddenly licked the outer lobe. The feel of her wet hole rubbing against his smooth skin was enough titillation to set Bella's imagination on fire. She rolled her head back as the vibrations of Turbo droned on and on, making her automatically respond to it rhythmically with her body. As she went back to her imaginings, she commanded Jacob to fuck her harder….harder…

_Ring! Ring! Ring!_

Goddammit! She couldn't even get off without something interrupting.

With irritation, she clicked the green button on her cell phone.

"Hello?"

"Bella?" Her mom.

"Hey, what's up?" She tried to get her breathing back to something manageable. Her mother already caught her once at home masturbating. She didn't need to remind her again of what she normally does.

"Nothing, just wanted to see how you were. You barely call me anymore," there was a hurt tone in her voice. The usual guilt trip. Perfect.

"I'm fine, Mom," Bella replied, opening up a drawer and taking out a small Windex she kept close to her for the sole purpose of cleaning her buddy afterwards. But this time, there wasn't really an "afterward", just her unfulfilled wetness.

"How's Dr. Jenkins?"

"I don't know, "Bella sighed. It was the truth. She really _didn't_ know. So far, she's been the same since before, crazy habits and bouts of loneliness and all.

"Give it time. You can't do this on your own."

"But Mom, I feel as if all this medication shit really doesn't help at all. I don't feel any different."

"Well, _tell_ her all of this the next time you visit her."

Bella rolled her eyes, but there was no need to, her mother couldn't see her. "I did, but she still insisted on those two bottles of pills anyway."

"The thing is, you don't give anything a chance. The only reason the other medicines didn't work was that you stopped taking them. You can't do that unless your doctor says you can."

There was no point arguing with her; they'd had this conversation millions of times.

"Fine, Mom…" Bella bit her lip, contemplating whether to tell her mother about her date, then thought better of it. It was very likely she would just comment to her father about it, as if Bella already told him. And that was the thing, Charlie couldn't know anything.

"Call me if anything happens or if you feel upset again, okay?" Renee sounded worried, as if it was only a matter of time before Bella would truly crack. She'd down it a few times before, during her "dark period" as she liked to call it, but she vowed she wouldn't put herself through that again. God knows she needed to get a life and get out of her funk, but easier said than done.

"I will," Bella responded.

Her mom then began rambling on about her new yoga class. She tried to pay attention but her mind wandered. She still wanted to think of Jacob and get herself off. But Renee's feelings would be hurt considerably if she didn't add a regular "yeah" and "Mmm" after a long pause to signal that she was taking in whatever crap her mother was telling her. Unlike Bella, Renee was very social, and actually liked going out and meeting new people, as well as enrolling herself in various extracurricular activities, though she never managed to just stick to one. The latest one was obviously Yoga, for her intense month of Kickboxing wore her out, and she needed something that would cool her off, so to say.

Bella managed to get off the phone with her Mom, mentally congratulating herself on succeeding on that difficult challenge. She then decided to find her own Zen and conjured up more images of Jacob's ribbed abs, again applying Turbo against her still soaking thighs.

The rest of the week flew by quickly, with Bella being too happy over her class finally showing her some semblance of respect to spend _too_ much time thinking of her impending date, which was rapidly looming over the horizon.

Once it was Thursday though, all Bella could think of was the date. Everything had to be perfect that day, nothing else could possibly go wrong throughout the day because she knew if something did, than the date would be a disaster. She made sure to account the various odd numbers throughout the day and find a respective match for them, as well as looking over her clothes and hygiene repeatedly throughout the school day. Not that she had bad hygiene, far from it, but she _had_ to make sure she always smelled as if she just hopped out of the shower. So today, she made sure to carry two Dove soap bars. She knew she didn't need to use two, but two was always better than one. Again, one had to have its respective match.

She'd sneak into one of the bathroom stalls and apply soap with some water she kept in a bottle in her purse and quickly cleansed herself. It was fucking crazy, and she would be extremely embarrassed if anyone happened to catch her, but she couldn't help herself. She had been trying all week long to act a little bit normal, trying to tone down her obsessive habits. She never got too far in this "toning down" business, but today, she threw that philosophy to the roof. She didn't give a fuck today if she was acting crazy. She had to feel perfect and look perfect. Jacob Black asked her out for a reason and it was her job to remind him of it.

Besides being overly conscious of her amount of cleanliness, she felt extremely jittery. She hadn't felt this many butterflies since she was forced to go on Spinning Dragons-- the steepest, fastest rollercoaster in her old town fair. The scariest part wasn't the sinking feeling in her stomach she got whenever the rollercoaster would drop down, but the idea that she was probably sitting on a seat that millions of behinds have sat on-- all shapes and sizes, and all kinds of different bacteria. And you can't forget the various gum that were stuck right on the corner of the seat, as well as on the floor and the sides of the seat. Disgusting.

But this jitteriness was excitement, not fear. But it still produced the same concern from those around her. Mike, as well as Jessica, questioned her in the Teacher's lounge.

"Bella, you okay? You seem a bit…tense," Jessica observed, sitting down at the table with her usual cobb salad.

"I'm fine," She replied, feeling a bit uncomfortable.

Jessica squinted her eyes at Bella, as if that physical action would somehow give her better insight into the mystery that is Bella Swan. Of course, it didn't.

"Okay," she said simply, turning her attention back to her usual, addictive bowl of greens.

And this was how the rest of her day went, with passerby, mostly consisting of fellow teachers and a very eager Aaron Phillips asking her about her new behavior. With Bella brushing them off with some half –assed excuse or by a small smile, she was able to keep them away.

It was only after work, when she got in the car and did her sock ritual and then her counting ritual when she thought about something had hadn't had to think about in a long time---waxing…down _there._

It wasn't that it was an Amazon down there, for Bella couldn't live with herself it was, but there was a small, and she meant _small,_ possibility that Jacob might have a glimpse of her pussy. She doubted it, for no matter how many times she dreamed and masturbated to the idea of Jacob fucking her, she knew she couldn't sleep with him the first night. She couldn't live with herself if she did. She really wasn't that kind of girl. But one always had to be prepared, and if Bella was anything, it was the master of being prepared.

So the first thing she did was check the internet on her phone to see if there was any waxing salon within a ten mile radius. Thanks to Google, there was a nail salon in a shopping center within ten minutes of her house. If Bella knew something, it was that in a nail salon, they did waxing as well, even bikini wax.

"How can I help you today?" the young girl asked her at the reception area, gazing at her with a glazed look in her eye, chewing on her bubblegum.

Bella looked around, seeing the various women sitting down in the tiny waiting area, pretending to peruse magazines. Bella knew they were overhearing her conversation, for it was normal to be vaguely interested in what another person was asking for once entering the salon.

"Brazilian wax," Bella replied, lowering her voice.

"What?" the girl said loudly, the popping of her gum increasing.

Fucking stupid moron.

"A Brazilian wax," Bella repeated, leaning in closer to the girl.

"A what wax? We have a bikini and a Brazilian." She pointed to a huge sign with prices behind her.

The other women watched the exchange with some interest. It amused them that a person would be so embarrassed at something they've all gotten done at some point in their lives. Must be a newbie.

"Brazilian," Bella said with clenched teeth. Moron.

"You can go right on in to the back. Everyone here is waiting for nails." Great. Fucking great.

Bella bowed her head as she went to the back, sitting down on the stretched out chair, closed her eyes, and waited for her assailant to attack her nether regions.

Walking to her car, she felt the space between her legs were on fire. She kept rubbing her legs against each other, as if the contact from a part of her crotch with the other would somehow lessen the stinging sensation. It didn't. She felt a vibration coming from her purse. Jacob.

_Will your Dad be home early?_

Bella rapidly pressed the keys on her phone. _No, he won't._

A few minutes passed, all of which Bella was in the middle of her daily car ritual before she felt another vibration.

_Good. Then I'll pick you up at eight like I said before._

_Ok. See ya then._

He didn't respond after that. Bella continued her ritual and quickly forgot about that fact.

She still felt the itching once she got home and per formed her "opening the front door" ritual and figured the best way to get that nasty sensation out was to take her regular shower. Water cures everything,

She really prayed that Jacob didn't try anything down there. She couldn't decide yet if he would make a move…or exactly _what_ move he'd make. She just hoped the sensations would go away.

Twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two…perfect. At least that was right.

As she hopped in the shower, her private area felt steaming, but it was washing the stinging away. She never remembered her first time getting a Brazilian to be this bothersome, but then again, that was a couple of years ago. She figured certain sensations and feelings get a little fuzzy as time passes.

Excitement coursed through her at that moment between lathering her hair with herbal shampoo and cleansing her body. She already chose what she was going to wear—a baby blue dress that reached up to her knees with thin, twisted straps. She decided one of her silver sandals would compliment the dress nicely and already had those laying out on the bed by the time she counted again the twenty-two items in her bathroom and was about to head back to the bathroom to blow-dry her hair when she heard the bell ringing. Oh fuck. What time was it?

The clock by her dresser told her it was already eight. Shit. She'd been in the shower too long. Her pruny fingers were a testament to that. Fuck. What the hell was she going to do?

She went to her closet and looked in the gray section near the end of the rack, picking out a long t-shirt that reached below her knees. This was the most embarrassing moment of her life. She wasn't ready, at all.

Down the stairs she went. Twenty-eight steps, excluding the creaky one. Her heart was pounding furiously in her chest as she opened the front door.

She didn't open it all the way though, only letting her head show as she took in the unexpected sight of Jacob Black. In casual jeans. With a tiny hole in the middle. A decent collared-shirt, but wrinkly. His hair was even loose; He was casual, way too casual. Double fuck.

"Hey," she breathed, the beating of her heart failing to lessen itself.

He looked at her with amusement. "Hi. You look…"

He took in her wet, matted hair, and was completely puzzled. Did she completely forget their date? How bizarre. For he took her as the kind of girl who would be looking forward to their first outing. What a peculiar woman. She was surprising him every day.

"Sorry," Bella replied, thinking about how her wet hair will make puddles on the floor, and right now she had no time to clean it.

"Come in," she said, opening the door wider but managing to stay behind the door, not allowing him to have a good look at her.

"I didn't know you liked the wet hair look," he managed to joke lightly, chuckling.

Bella smiled weakly, panicking too much to even joke about her predicament.

This was so embarrassing. "Can you not look for a second?"

His eyes widened. "What? You naked or something?"

She thought he was serious, thinking she was _that_ kind of girl. But the twinkle in his dark eyes, as well as his biting his lip and the way he was preventing his mouth from breaking into a smile told Bella he thought it was funny. Good. She was still embarrassed though.

"No," she responded, still hiding behind the door, jumping on the balls of her feet, "Please, Don't look," she begged.

"Alright." He was still smiling.

Once making sure his eyes were shut, she bolted up the stairs. One. Two. ...nine….and so on. She had never counted those steps that fast in her life.

Once in her room, she bolted into the bathroom, did a quick count, and attacked the blower-dryer like never before. She wished at this moment that blow-dryers weren't so loud, for she knew that Jacob could hear. Her cheeks were still flushed from the mortification she felt. Things were already turning out bad. She should have kept a timer on how long she took a shower. At least her fingers were molding itself into their normal state, for their pruniness was almost gone. Thank God. Jacob would think she took an afternoon swim in a pool if he saw them.

After the initial shock of allowing Jacob to almost see her naked, anger and annoyance coursed through her body. For she hated being hurried up, no matter that it was her fault. She liked taking her time, looking perfect. And her having to hurry up her process of preparing, which she knew would lead to a half-ass attempt, was more than unbearable to her. She began cursing to herself, mentally cursing Jacob, and anything else that came to mind. It didn't make sense, but she couldn't help it.

She then decided to hell with it. Let Jacob wait. She had to look pretty, that was the most important thing. She wouldn't be comfortable unless she measured up to her own standard of perfection. So she took her time blow drying her hair…and getting dressed…applying her makeup…and putting on the few pieces of jewelry she had previously picked out the night prior. She almost forgot the silver gloves she had to match her shoes, and she slowly put those on, reveling on how tightly fitted they were to her skin.

It was eight forty by the time she walked down the stairs, counting the steps as she smiled at Jacob. But he was busy pressing buttons on his phone, not looking up. It wasn't until Bella stepped on the creaky step that he raised his head, and took her in.

Jacob took in a deep breath, not wanting his mouth to hang open like a dog. She looked hot. No, hot wasn't the right word, for she was dressed too classy for that. She was gorgeous. And for the first time ever, he felt as if he didn't match up to her. He had no idea she would dress so…nice. He half-wished he had picked out something dressier. But he mentally shook himself; he wasn't one to regret anything and decided to take it as him not being specific about the dress attire.

He was glad she finally decided to come down, for he had no idea why she had taken so long. He had half a mind to think that she didn't want to go, and only allowed him in the house as a way to break it to him. It was ridiculous, but there was no other way to put together Bella answering half-naked as if she completely forgot and immediately heading up the stairs afterwards. Maybe she just wanted to get herself all pretty. And it worked. Because she was, she really was.

"You look beautiful," he breathed, taking her in.

"Thank you," Bella replied, descending the last stair.

"I was beginning to worry…didn't know—"

"Sorry," Bella cut him, "I lost track of the time."

Jacob was puzzled. She lost track of the time? She wasn't constantly thinking about their date the way he was? He spent the entire day at work dreaming about her as he rotated tires and performed daily clean ups on customers' cars. He was so caught up with her that he nearly filled a car up with diesel fuel. He was getting stupid, and Bella Swan was mostly to blame for it.

"Well, I'm glad you remembered."

"Of course," Bella said, smiling.

He held out his arm to her, gesturing that she should lead the way out. "Shall we?"

She nodded her head and led the way out of the house, performing her usual "closing door" ritual.

Lock door, unlock door, lock door, unlock door, lock door.

"What the heck are you doing?" Jacob exclaimed his face entirely bewildered and amused at the same time.

Fuck. She forgot to censor herself. Her actions were so instinctual now that she never realized how they must look to an outsider. What the hell was she to make up though?

"Uh…the lock and key are a bit rusty. It gets kinda stuck, and doesn't close properly, so I have to unlock it a few times for it to then remain truly shut. You know a precaution?" She was rambling now. Hoping her lame, spur of the moment story was enough for him to buy it.

"Well, let me take a look at the key and lock one of these days. It probably needs to be oiled up or I can try to take apart the lock and build you a new one. I've done it before."

"No," she said quickly. A little too quickly for Jacob stepped away from her, as if taken aback, "It's fine. I'm used to it and so is Dad."

"Okay, then."

He extended his arm again, allowing Bella to step down the porch stairs in front of him. Bella still marveled at the fact of Jacob being so tall. She wasn't exactly tall herself, which made the two of them stand side by side a little daunting.

"Your chariot awaits, my lady, "he joked, inclining his head towards his car.

His car. The one that she nearly crashed into the first day she met him.. The small Volkswagen Rabbit was parked in the side of her driveway, right next to her clean, shiny, gleaming Hyundai accent. Her car put his to shame. The red of his car was fading, with various scratches located on the sides. The side mirrors weren't aligned properly, and she figured that if she ran one gloved finger across the sides, a mountain of dirt would appear on the pretty, silver material. She knew that this was his car and it was logical that he pick her up in it, but a part of her expected that he could drive around with her in a nicer car that he'd probably have to sell in that shop of his. It was the stupidest idea in the world, but she was still stunned that he chose to take her on a date in that thing. The date she imagined was beautiful, romantic, nice, and clean.

She felt her chest tighten.

"You okay?" Jacob asked, concern etched across his handsome face.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She mentally slapped herself for the suggestion racing through her mind. _Ask him to drive your car._ No way, he'd kill her.

She gazed forlornly at her vehicle, reveling in its warmness, and the new smell that still lingered. She was one to still keep that smell in her cars for a couple of years after, something she was highly proud of.

Jacob furrowed his eyebrows. " Yeah, I'm gonna paint and fix her up sometime this weekend," he stated, knowing full well why she looked so upset, "Didn't have time this week. A lot of other cars to fix up."

"Wanna take my car?" Bella then closed her eyes, berating herself for letting that bitchy question escape her lips. But she knew she would die if she rode in his tiny monster of a car.

He looked at her curiously, then at her car, then his. He licked his lips before finally replying, "I don't feel really comfortable driving other people's cars. I have a weird driving habit and I'm always conscious of what could happen when I'm operating someone else's vehicle…you know? Don't want that burden on my hands."

"I could drive," Bella pitched in. Dammit, she did it again.

"Nooo," Jacob said quickly, running a hand through his long hair, "I drive on the first date. I don't let the ladies drive. Besides, you wouldn't know how to get to where I'm gonna take you."

"You can direct me."

"Why you so set on going in your car? Is mine not good enough?"

Bella looked into his eyes to see if she really hurt him. She had a tendency to do that with people even though she didn't mean it. It was just that she didn't think she could physically survive riding on something that was infested with dust and probably not clean on the inside.

"No, it's fine. I was just being silly."

"Yeah, you were," Jacob said teasingly. He knew she was kind of prissy, and he should be offended wit her putting down his pride and joy, but he found himself more turned on by the fact that she had a mind of her own, and liked things a certain way. He'd dated too many girls who would just agree with anything he said, just to please him. He was sick of it, not challenging enough. This girl was feisty enough to keep him challenged for a long while. He could tell she was still upset about it, and he looked forward to pressing her buttons about it, to see how sexy she looked when angry, for he figured she was.

"Okay, then. My car it is."

He opened the side door for her, and she mentally prayed to god before she stepped inside.

The car smelled of cabbage, which Bella didn't particularly hate, but it was disgusting and out of place for a car to smell of food.

"Sorry about the smell, "Jacob commented cheerfully when he finally stepped into the driver's seat, "My friend Quil left some food in here for almost two days. Didn't realize it until the second day. Idiot," he said, laughing.

Oh, God.

Bella was shocked when he turned on the ignition...just like that. Nothing beforehand or anything. Wow, guess this was how normal people drove. It would be cool to be so free. She was a bit impressed.

"So, where are we going?" She managed to ask, a little distracted. For she was trying to count everything in his car, but was panicking when there were too many things clustered about. The backseat was filled with papers and tools, as well as various cans in the two can holders. She could see the dust in the can holders plain as day. She felt her chest constrict again.

"You okay?" Jacob asked, looking at her with actual concern. Was she regretting this date? He was shocked. Usually girls would beg to go on dates with him. They would all be cheerful and all too eager to please him. He had never seen a girl with such a look of disgust as Bella Swan displayed at that very moment. His previous thoughts of getting a rise out of her gone, for he saw the quick rise and fall of her chest.

"Can you put the windows down?"

"Sure." He turned the old knob on the driver's side, allowing his side to come down.

"You have to turn your own," he said to her gently.

Bella forgot what that knob was for. In her panicking state, she failed to notice that item. And that was strange. For she noticed everything.

She grabbed the knob with her gloved hand and slowly turned the handle with some pressure until the window was completely down.

She didn't care at this moment that she would smell of outside, she needed fresh air, and she smiled as the wind whipped her face.

"Better?" Jacob asked concern in his eyes.

She smiled. "Yeah." She felt bad, she really did, but some things couldn't' be helped.

He didn't know what was ailing her but he hoped it passed, for she was beginning to worry him.

"We're almost there."

As Bella passed an unfamiliar dip in the road, things began to look unfamiliar to her. She saw a big lake to her left, one she had never seen before. Far off into the distance, a large cliff was visible, where three tanned boys were jumping off hooting and hollering the entire way.

"What the hell?" Bella exclaimed, automatically leaning over the car to take a better look.

Jacob laughed. "Some guys from the rez. Like two throw themselves off that cliff. I used to do it too when I was a kid. Loads of fun, "he leaned in closer to her, his eyes still on the road, "Don't recommend it for you though. You'd freak out."

She scoffed. "Would not." It was a lie, she totally would.

"I think so."

She crossed her arms over her chest, fake pouting. "Whatever."

Her companion smiled. "So, Bella. What do you do for fun?"

"I like to read and watch movies."

"I'll agree with you on the movie part, just not the reading."

"What kind of movies you like?" Bella asked curiously.

"Action and horror." Typical.

"And you?" Jacob asked.

"Uh, romance." If he only knew the thoughts that would course through her mind while watching those movies.

"Mmm… they aren't too bad. I can watch things like Princess Bride."

That wasn't the romance she was talking about. "I like movies more like Pride and Prejudice."

"Ah," Jacob said, smiling. "Now I know how I have to act to please you."

Bella blushed.

Jacob kept grinning, noticing her reddening cheeks. All he wanted to do was take her hand in his own, claim her as his. He felt such a strong pull towards her that it was overwhelming.

"I don't recognize this road," Bella finally pointed out.

"You wouldn't . I'm taking you to the rez."

"What?"

Jacob shrugged. "I really don't know any places in Forks. I only go there to hang out at your dad's house or go to the coffee shop. I do odd mechanic jobs there for some customers, but I don't really know all the places to hang out. All my friends are down here. Hope you don't mind."

She gazed at him, trying to read him. She had no idea if he was being truthful or he just wanted to make her life a living hell. She would find out soon enough. She hoped this place was decent, for she was in the mood for some pasta, and a candlelit dinner. That was what she was expecting, and hoped that on the reservation they had a quiet, quaint, and cute restaurant.

As the pulled up into the parking lot filled with cars surrounding fields of grass, Bella couldn't' stop her mouth from dropping open. She saw a million residents of the reservation hanging out at their cars, some heading into the restaurant. But they were all casual. No one looked like she did. And it wasn't a cute place, or quaint either, or even Italian. It was big, with a country porch that resembled a country-style house, and they definitely did not serve pasta.

She turned to Jacob, wondering what the fuck he was thinking of taking her to a place like this. He merely smiled, his eyes twinkling, as if challenging her to protest. Bella was too shocked to. She knew now that he was testing her, thinking her unable to handle his type of element, thinking her a bit too prissy and stuck up. But he didn't know the half of it, didn't know how serious her "prissiness" was. She had the good sense to tell him the whole thing was off, and beg him to take her home.

But his challenging gaze made her want to prove to him that she could handle it. She would handle it, and tell him afterwards to fuck off.

She smiled sweetly. "Never been here. What's t his place called?" For the sign wasn't visible.

"A …friend" and Jacob stressed the "friend" part, "of mine's father owns it. Harry Clearwater's Fish Fry."

He smiled slyly at Bella, as if looking eagerly for her stunned and pissed off reaction, for he was beginning to love it. He honestly thought before that she wouldn't mind this place so much, but after seeing her reaction to it, and feeling the half-bulging bump in his pants, her anger turned him _on_. He still wanted to please her, but from her body language three days ago and in the kitchen confirmed to him that she was as attracted to him as he was to her. Just knowing that was enough for him to not be worried about disgusting her. Because no matter how disgusting the restaurant and his car seemed to her, she wasn't disgusted with him. She wanted him. He knew when her chocolate brown eyes roamed repeatedly over his abs in her father's kitchen, as well as in the coffee shop. That was enough. The former hurt he felt at her first rejection was a distant memory to him, for it would be only a matter of time before she would be his; he just liked teasing her along the way. And the look she gave him now of complete shock nearly made him fully hard. He had to control himself considerably.

And the upturned smile she gave him a few moments later was enough to take his breath away. "Fine," she whispered, her voice slightly quivering, "let's go. I'm hungry."

Jacob grinned in return. She had accepted the challenge and resolved to not go running off. Things were going his way. Point one for Jacob Black.


	6. Chapter 6 The Even Date Part 1

A/N: Thanks again for the favorites, alerts, and reviews…I love each and every one of them.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, Stephenie Meyer does.

Chapter 6. The Even Date Part 1.

Faint voices were heard laughing. Memorabilia and old portraits of older tribal members surrounded the eatery. Pots and pans clanged in the kitchen. Plates were passed in a quick, efficient motion by the experienced waitresses as the smell of fish filled the air. Movement upon movement of people, some getting up to use the restroom, others merely standing by the entrance, waited to be seated.

Bella considered herself lucky when Jacob greeted the tanned hostess by name, the two of them quickly being led to a secluded part of the restaurant. Bella noted the young girl eyed Jacob with a look that bordered between curiosity and fear before she mumbled something, placing their menus in front of them and before she could even take off, Bella stopped her.

"Wait," she said nervously, holding her hand out as if to physically stop her, "Can you please send somebody to wipe down the table? It's still a bit dirty." Her voice was sweet, soothing, void of agitation. But not so with the hostess, for she gave Bella a stern look, her dark eyes taking in her pretty blue dress, as well as her matching gloves.

"Strange one. Isn't she, Jake?"

Bella flushed with embarrassment.

"Not as strange as you and me," Jacob answered, half-smiling at Bella.

The hostess looked between the couple before heading off, her long braided hair whipping behind her.

"Is everyone here so rude?" Bella mumbled, anger overtaking her embarrassment.

"Don't worry about it," Jacob reassured her, noting the nervous twitching of her covered thumbs, one rubbing on top of the other, "Helen's kind of a bitch. Always has been."

Bella then proceeded to mentally count the objects of the table, anything to make everything perfect.

Two chairs. Check.

Two people. Check.

Salt and Pepper shaker. Check.

Two sets of silverware. Check.

Neither the cups nor their respective coasters have arrived. Fine.

These thoughts kept racing through Bella's mind as she hunched over the tiny table in the back corner of the restaurant, as if the physical act of making herself smaller would eliminate the very likely possibility of smelling like fish when she left.

Across from her, her date watched her like a cat eyeing a mouse.

"You look scared," he observed.

"I'm not."

"You're hunched over. Your spine'll get crooked if you keep doing that."

"That's not true."

"Sure it is," Jacob replied nonchalantly as he perused the menu, "Happened to my friend, Quil's grandfather. The guy was like, six foot five...pretty huge, and as he got older he kept crouching down. Mostly from watching TV and stuff. He'd lean forward in his chair and just watch. He did that so much he just stayed that way. Now he's five six."

Bella then caught his eye and saw a tiny twinkle in them. "Bullshit."

"No. no. True story."

He leaned forward in his seat. "So why you seem so timid now. Huh?" He ran the tip of his tongue over his full lips, raising his brows slowly, "You don't like the place or what?"

Dark eyes met dark. She seemed to have tapped into the inner workings of Jacob's mind. Like a light bulb lighting up in her head. A revelation…of some sorts. Bella started to realize that Jacob Black could be a very easy person to read, for the smile around his eyes as well as the grin he couldn't suppress when asking her his question, led her to believe that he was making fun of her.

Heat flushed through her entire body. She crossed her left gloved hand over her right, as if making sure that her gloves were still on her delicate, white hands. She didn't know what to say. She tried to act normal, she really did. But she must have done a pretty shitty job, for he, like everyone else, thought she was mental. Jacob thought she was mental. Helen the hostess thought she was mental. Was this why her father was so adamant on her not dating Jacob? Had to be. He figured her out. She had to leave…immediately.

"You okay?" the concerned, extremely male voice broke into her thoughts.

She suddenly realized she was having one of those moments where she'd continue to stare at someone but her thoughts were entirely consumed elsewhere.

"Hello?" he raised one hand in front of her, snapping his fingers.

Fuck, she did it again.

"Yeah...what?" She felt light-headed and completely embarrassed.

"You were like in a daze or something."

"Yeah, sorry."

"You were just taken in by my charms," he stated, wiggling his eyebrows.

Bella pursed her lips. "No, actually I was just thinking about what you asked me."

"And what was that?"

"About me not liking it here."

Jacob shrugged. "What's there to think about? It was a totally normal, legit question."

He flipped two pages of the menu, lowering his head. But Bella took in the little smile he couldn't prevent from forming on his lips.

"You should've asked me before we got here." She had to prevent herself from gritting her teeth. If it wasn't for her gloves, she knew her fingers would be pressing on the edge of the table so tightly that her already pale fingers would be albino-ish from the pressure.

"I wanted it to be a surprise," Jacob mused, lifting his head from his menu, a mildly amused look visible on his face, which contrasted greatly to the smirk Bella witnessed moments before when he thought she wasn't looking.

"Then you should've told me to not dress so nice." Bella wasn't going to mention her attire before, for she felt embarrassed about it the moment he walked into the foyer of her house, but now she felt it to be imperative that she bring it up.

"I _neve_r told you to come dressed up so nice," Jacob pointed out, still smiling.

Bella shook her head, racking her brain for some witty retort. Unfortunately, none came to her.

"Yeah, well…you should've said something when you saw me. Tell me to get changed or something."

"Why?" Jacob replied jovially, closing the menu and putting it aside, "You look pretty."

Bella felt her face flush, heat creeping throughout her entire body. She didn't think she would ever get tired of him complimenting her. "You said before that I looked beautiful."

"Beautiful…pretty. Same thing," he whispered, his eyes lingering on a loose strand of brown hair sticking to the side of Bella's forehead.

She followed his gaze and quickly tucked the strand behind her ear. "You don't think it's weird you taking me here when your dad can easily find out we're together?"

Jacob raised his eyebrows. "We're together? Wow, you move fast."

"I didn't mean it that way."

"Sure, sure." He sighed, leaning back in his chair.

Jacob instinctively stretched out his legs, causing his knee to accidentally brush up against Bella's. His eyes widened, just as Bella felt a jolt of electricity shoot up through the leg that made contact with his. Normally, she would've jerked her leg away as fast as she could, but what surprised her was the fact that she couldn't move it away. The warmth that radiated from that miniscule contact was enough to make her catch her breath. It was a tiny breath, though. And Jacob saw it rather than heard it, his eyes unable to waver from her, taking in the small expansion of her ribs and the rising and falling of her shoulders, knowing she was just as taken aback as he was by their brief , but very titillating physical contact.

_Wow_, Bella thought to herself, opening up her menu without really reading it as she awkwardly tried to pretend that nothing sensual at all happened, _imagine what it'll be like when I fuck him._

She then mentally corrected herself. _If .If .If._

It was best to act as if nothing happened.

"So," Bella began, finally deciding to actually read the damn menu in front of her, "What makes you think that us eating at the rez wouldn't ring like bells to Billy that we're…hanging out?"

"He won't find out 'cause I personally know the owner and it isn't Dad who really cares if we go out on dates or not, it's Charlie."

"Billy doesn't care?"

"Nah, not really."

"He seemed just as against it as Dad."

Jacob shrugged. "Does it really matter? _I _want to go out with you. Who cares what our parents think? And besides," he stretched out his legs again. But this time, to either side of Bella, "Aren't you a little old to constantly worry over what your dad thinks?"

"No," Bella responded adamantly, "I live in his house so I should follow his rules," She paused, "You live with your dad too…right?"

"Yeah but I do whatever the hell I want."

"But you do take care of him, right?"

"I take care of _him_ so I'm independent."

Bella bit her lip. He was right.

Taking in her surroundings, she noticed the guests around her eyeing her speculatively, looking away upon meeting Bella's gaze. They whispered amongst themselves, all looking at her as if she was a commodity. She couldn't believe she hadn't noticed it before; probably because she was too concentrated on the many portraits and other nick-knacks surrounding the walls that were too numerous for her to count quickly, like a Friday's. God. She hated Friday's.

"Everyone's staring at me," she whispered, leaning towards Jacob.

He mirrored her movement and leaned in as well. "That's because we're not used to seeing a white girl here. Charlie comes here occasionally but he mostly hangs at my house…if that's what you're wondering."

Bella's heart rate quickened and her stomach drop. People were staring at her because she _looked_ out of place. And it had nothing to do with her weird behavior, but of what she physically looked like. She wasn't expecting that and she had never been as self-conscious of her pale skin as she was at that moment. She felt like hyper-ventilating.

"Bella," Jacob began, as if calling to her. His voice felt far away though, for Bella only heard a collective murmur in her ear, as if she could hone in on everyone else's conversations, but not able to make out anything. Only their slight whispers.

"Bella," Jacob said again, reaching out to grab her arm.

She immediately snapped out of it, brought back by Jacob's warm touch.

"Yeah?"

"What's wrong?" And for the first time that night, Jacob looked genuinely concerned.

He had been teasing her the entire night, trying to push her buttons with mundane things, but it never dawned on him that his own people wouldn't be warm and friendly towards her. He thought that if Charlie could hang out at the rez with no problems, than his daughter could as well. But that wasn't the case, for he noticed as well the way the others were looking at her, as if she didn't belong.

"If you wanna leave we can. I honestly didn't think it would be a big deal, but if you wanna hang out at Forks I'm up for it," he smiled at her, caressing his thumb on the side of her hand, "I think they'd look at me funny too, but I'm used to it."

"No one looks at you funny," Bella whispered, trying to calm down the tension building up inside of her.

"They do. Trust me. Not at the coffee shop, but most places they do. You'll see."

The long-haired hostess came back with a scowl on her face, and began to wipe the table clean. Bella and Jacob moved their arms to their sides.

"Hey," Jacob addressed the girl, "What's wrong with everybody?"

She eyed him strangely, "What do you mean?"

"You know what I'm talking about. Why's everybody care if I'm hanging with Chief Swan's daughter?"

Helen looked at the tiny, furious yet scared form that was Bella Swan. Physical appearance aside, she acted like an odd one anyway.

"A lot of people don't know she's Chief Swan's daughter. I didn't."

"Well, now ya know.' Jacob's voice was harsh, terse, and was the first time Bella heard him be so serious.

Helen looked behind her, making sure no one could hear, and then leaned toward Jacob, "That's not the only reason people are looking."

Jacob's brows furrowed. "Why then?"

"Leah's working tonight," she whispered.

"What?" His body tensed up, and he leaned back in his chair, "I thought she wasn't gonna be here tonight."

"Well, she is. Just traded shifts with some new girl who couldn't make it. Thinking of firing her. Just not cutting it."

"Leah?"

"No, the new girl."

"Ah." Jacob looked away, fiddling his thumbs.

"Sorry, but who's Leah?" Bella broke in; her timidness finally being replaced with anger and annoyance, for she was still hung up on the fact that Helen was so openly rude to her.

"A girl I know," Jacob responded quickly, giving his menu to Helen, "I already know what I'm gonna have. The usual. Tell it to whoever our waitress is."

Helen stared at Jacob for a long time. It was as if the two of them were engaged in a mental conversation that Bella could have no part of. The long-haired girl gazed at Jacob questioningly, as if telling him with her eyes what he needed to know. He seemed to have gotten the hint, for her pursed his lips and sighed.

"Just tell her to take our order, "He breathed, finally turning to Bella and smiling.

"What was that about?" Bella asked nonchalantly. There was no need to make him think that she was nosy or overly bothered, just interested.

"Nothing. It's just that in a few seconds we'll be giving our orders to one of the biggest bitches in the whole rez."

Jacob's prediction was right, for not even ten seconds later a beautiful, tall, model-like Native American girl stood beside their table, a forced smile on her face. Bella took in her curvaceous figure, how her gray collared shirt fit snugly around her ample bosom and how athletic and toned her legs and thighs looked. She was a _real_ woman…if that made any sense. But Bella knew no other way to describe it, for the blue dress hugging her small breasts and boyish figure, which she believed made her look like a pretty woman, only made her feel like a young girl playing dress-up. Jacob was right, she was indeed a bitch. A bitch for being too perfect. It was sickening.

"May I take your order?" she asked through clenched teeth. Her voice was smooth and husky. It reminded Bella of Kathleen Turner, well…Kathleen Turner of Body Heat- sexy, hot, attractive, and seductive- everything Bella wanted to be and more.

Jacob's smile was similar to this woman's- forced and hiding a twinge of a sneer, "Didn't Helen tell you I wanted my usual?"

"Hmm…And what's that?"

"You know what it is," Jacob then sighed, changing tactic, "Leah, I didn't know you'd be here tonight. I wouldn't have come otherwise, so just go easy on me tonight. Okay?" he inclined his head toward Bella, a genuine smile crossing his face, "I'm having dinner with a friend and she's never been to the rez before, so be nice. Okay?"

Leah's mouth dropped open, any trace of her former façade of fake civility gone, "Are you fucking kidding me?" she then half-laughed half gasped, running a hand through her smooth black hair, "You really expect me to be nice" and she spit out the two words in a 'quotating' motion, "to some white girl you just decided to pick up at Forks and bring _here?_ To my Dad's restaurant? Where I _work_? You gotta be fucking kidding me!"

She then stormed off, leaving Jacob shaking his head while Bella could only stare after her, her heart now pounding furiously. Heat again flushed within her. She felt everyone's eyes on her, pointing at them, thinking why the hell is this white girl, this girl who didn't belong, was still here? And they were right, she didn't belong. It was the most embarrassing moment of her life. Someone had made a scene…about _her_, strongly adamant about not wanting her there. She hated this Leah, hated her for making her feel like the freak she was, and she hated Jacob for taking her here. This was over.

"Take me home," she said harshly, staring at Jacob's dark eyes, wanting to bore holes into them, "Get me out of here."

His eyes widened, and he frantically covered Bella's gloved hands with his own, "Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't know she'd be here. I-"he faltered, "I'm so fucking stupid. I'm such a fucking moron."

He ran his hand through the front of his hair and dropped it, as if realizing that his hair was tied back. It was a similar motion to Leah's earlier, as if they had the same habit, which changed Bella's line of thinking.

"I take it she's Leah, right?"

"Yeah."

"And you said she's just a girl you know, right?"

"Yeah," Jacob replied tentatively, looking away from his date, unable to meet her gaze.

If one thing Bella was good at was reading body language. Heck, she could even boast that she could read that as well as finding object to make mathematically even, a gift, per se.

"She's not just an acquaintance, is she?"

"Correction. She _wasn't_ just an acquaintance."

Bella bit her lip, turning her head, trying to make a point of her scrutinizing Jacob.

"You were with her." It wasn't a question, just a fact.

"That obvious?"

Bella scoffed, and nodded, her eyebrows rising up, almost reaching her widow's peak, "I think after her being pissed at you for bringing me here and what that hostess said to you about her working today just kinda stressed that point."

But she still took it personally. This Leah girl bitching at her only intensified her feelings of not belonging.

"Listen," Jacob began, "This was a bad judgment call on my part. I honestly thought she wasn't gonna be working tonight," he sighed, "Listen. I dated her for awhile. We broke up months ago… ay!" he tried running his hand through his hair again ,but obviously, to no avail, which led him to undo his ponytail, shake out his full-long head of hair, and run his fingers through it, "I really didn't think we were ready for a 'let's exchange our past history' talk. I kind a figured we could get to that on another date but…" he trailed off, smiling slightly at Bella. This date was _definitely_ not going the way he planned. He didn't think clearly of his choice of restaurant, his thoughts only consumed with ways of teasing her for his sick, twisted pleasure. Like he said, it was a serious lack of judgment.

"Well…" She didn't know what to say. She gazed at him, and saw the uncertainty in his dark orbs, his former confidence stripped away, only to be left with a scared, and unsure young man. The insecurity she noticed in his sudden demeanor, with his head slightly bowed and his shoulders hunched over as he leaned in towards her, vaguely reminded her of herself. It was a side of him that Bella hadn't seen, and it touched her.

But before she could continue, Jacob interrupted her, "If you want to go home I'll understand. I fucked up…and…yeah," he trailed off, not entirely sure what to say next.

She could only smile. " Yeah, I wanna go."

"Okay," Jacob sighed, getting up and extending his hand out to her, "Let's go…I'll take ya home."

She got up, her hand enveloped in his. It felt warm, strong, and comforting. She could seriously get used to it. And she smiled to herself, reveling in the next words she would say to him.

As they made their way to the entrance of the grill, Leah stopped them. "Leaving so soon?" her lips played around a smirk.

"Yeah. We know when we're not wanted," Jacob responded, holding the door open so Bella could walk in front of him, "You just didn't have to be such a bitch about it."

Leah's jaw tensed, and she finally turned her full attention to Bella, her eyes traveling from her pretty, blue, non-wrinkly dress, stopping at her blue gloves, and ending at the crown of Bella's perfectly arranged brown hair, and smirked, " You don't know what you're getting yourself into, sweetie. You seem like a good little girl, and too young to be messing around with someone like Jake. Go home, find yourself a nice little white boy from Forks to settle down with, and get the hell out of LaPush."

Bella's hands began to shake mortification and anger boiling within her. And this time, she didn't care what the consequences would be after she would tell what was screaming in her mind. She had to get it out. "You listen to me," she began, her voice slightly shaking at the reality of confrontation, for she was terrified of being told something that would hurt her, something she didn't want to hear. But at this moment, this intimidating, beautiful, pushy girl was getting on her last fucking nerves, "I don't know what kind of close relationship you had with Jacob, but I am not to blame for it. You're right about one thing though, I will stay out of LaPush, 'cause I have no reason to be somewhere where people are still prejudice about other people's ethnicities. But that doesn't mean that I will stop seeing Jacob…that is, unless he tells me himself that he wants to stop seeing me. So if I go out on dates in Forks…" her voice wavered again as she was beginning to lose her momentum, "It'll be with Jacob."

She took a deep breath, her hands shaking, and her heart was ready to burst.

Leah's eyes narrowed. She wasn't affected by Bella's words the way Bella wanted her to be- instead of screams, mean retorts, and anything of the like, Bella was met with a collected, almost condescending gaze, as if Leah was sizing up the kind of opponent she would have to deal with.

Jacob nudged Bella out the door, laughing before letting it close behind him. Bella turned around to see Leah still staring at them as they headed back to Jacob's rabbit, with Jacob's warm hands still enveloping hers.

"Wow, Bella. Didn't know you had it in you," Jacob exclaimed as he opened the side door for her," Only people who stand up to Leah Clearwater are guys. Never seen a girl, and you being the least likely."

"Thanks," Bella breathed as she got into Jacob's jalopy cabbage-stinking car. She immediately set to counting everything in sight, wanting to block out the so-far horrible date.

Two disgusting, unwashed wheels in the front. Check.

Two equally disgusting, unwashed wheels in the back. Check.

"Bella."

She quickly snapped out of her thoughts, and found Jacob looking at her inquisitively, already sitting beside her with his seatbelt on, car running. She didn't think she would ever get used to the idea of him just immediately turning on the car like that, no preparation whatsoever.

"What the hell do you think about?"

"Nothing."

"Well," Jacob ran a hand through his hair, "I was asking you if you meant what you said back there?"

"About what?"

"About you still seeing me unless I tell you no?"

Butterflies fluttered in Bella's stomach, somewhat replacing the tension she previously felt. "Yeah. She kinda ruined the surprise."

"What surprise?"

"The surprise of you not taking me home, but taking me somewhere else."

Jacob's eyes widened. "You don't wanna go home."

She blushed. "No, I don't…Maybe you could take me somewhere else?"

"Like where?" He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Her heart caught in her chest. Fuck. He thought she was going to fuck him. Shit. Shit. Shit. Why didn't she think of filtering her thoughts? Why? Now he's going to think she is the town slut. Great.

"Somewhere else to eat," she said quickly, fiddling with her hands in her lap, "I'm still hungry, ya know."

"Uh, duh Bella," he began backing out of the parking space, "I just wondered where," he glanced at her quickly, "What did you think I meant?"

"Nothing."

"No, you thought I meant something else, "He laughed at this, "You gotta get your mind out of the gutter."

"I wasn't thinking that," she lied.

"You were, I could tell."

Bella decided not to push the subject any further. As they got back onto the road, Bella noticed that they were headed back to Forks, for she clearly saw the cliffs Jacob was talking about before on her other side now, signaling their return to the town.

"Where to?" Jacob asked his eyes still on the road, his tone cheerful. He honestly didn't think Bella would still wan to continue their date. With the Leah fiasco he figured his one shot with her was gone, but the surprisingly good turn of events was enough to want to keep everything else light, and since his former want of trying to control the date to his advantage and liking backfired in a catastrophic way, he knew the only way to salvage the night was allowing Bella to choose where they go, for God knows what asshole would pop up next if he chose another. And he figured going to Forks would allow Bella to feel at home, since she obviously felt uncomfortable in LaPush in a way that went beyond the chance to tease. He wanted to have fun with her, not upset her to the point of paranoia, which he felt that she experienced a bit back at Harry's.

"I think I have a place," Bella replied calmly, as the smell of her now favorite black cup of coffee surrounded by pink wallpaper and small, quaint tables filled her nostrils.


	7. Chapter 7 The Even Date Part II

A/N: Thank you all again for the lovely reviews. It makes my day reading all of them. On another note, I recently entered an entry to a short story contest on Twilighted. I am a finalist and they announce the winner today. I don't know if all of you guys have an account on Twilighted but the link for it is on my profile.

I also want to thank Tilly Whitlock for her wonderful review of my story on her blog. I enjoyed reading it.

Happy reading to everybody!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, Stephenie Meyer does.

* * *

Chapter 7. The Even Date Part II.

_Serenity_. The name resonated in Bella's coffee- induced brain as she held her black cup o' Joe to her nose, deeply inhaling the clear, strong scent of coffee beans. It really did make her feel serene. The perfect name for the perfect place.

Two chairs. Check.

Two people. Check.

Two menus. Check.

Two cups of Coffee-like mugs. Check.

The cute coffee shop was pretty packed for a Thursday night, with eight older students in gray sweaters with the words Peninsula College in bold print stretching out their legs luxuriously on the two little tables joined together, their laptops open in front of them, their eyes absorbing the information on the screen as their fingers tapped loudly on the keys, almost breaking the key tiles in the process. Bella sighed as she watched them, for she originally applied to teach at the tiny Forks Extension site of Peninsula Community College, but they didn't accept her, for the English director wanted his ideal candidate to at least have a Masters, even though Bella was quick to point out that it was only a community college, and a teacher with an undergraduate degree was still qualified to teach at that particular level, but it was all naught. She was confined to the hell of teaching bothersome high school freshmen and the calm, collected, studious, and neat looking students sitting before her, eyebrows furrowed at the notes in front of them, actually giving a shit about school, were completely out of reach. Now teaching them, _that_ was her ideal job…if only next year-

"Bella," her date interrupted her, taking a huge gulp of his milkshake, a little bit of the milk dripping off the left side of his mouth. The napkin that Bella waited for to make contact with Jacob's face never came, forcing her to finally comment before she would explode.

"Jacob…you have…" But the motion of her index finger pointing to her left side was lost upon him, for he wrinkled his eyebrows in confusion.

"Have what?"

"A little…" the second time around her motion was slower, pressing, and more intense. Seriously, how dense could he be?

"Hmmm…" his face broke into a smile, stretching the still chocolate liquid still located on the side of his mouth considerably. The napkin in front of him was deeply stained, the dark circle becoming infinitely bigger as the seconds ticked by of him not wiping his mouth.

"Chocolate," Bella interjected, her voice rising above the murmurs of the coffee house. A few guests turned to see where the loud proclamation came from but once realizing that the booming voice came from an overly decadent, skinny girl, they immediately turned away, seeing as she was completely harmless and probably only complaining to her boyfriend.

Bella immediately leaned forward, lowering her voice, for she felt the now familiar flush of embarrassment spread through her cheeks, and instinctively glanced at the forty-two people, excluding the servers, who made up the population of the room, and did not speak further until she was absolutely sure that attention was not focused on her.

Once she believed she had achieved this, she felt compelled to utter vowels and syllables, "You have chocolate milkshake right here," and she used her gloved index finger to reach over and point to the left side of Jacob's mouth, making sure not to make contact with it. No way were her pretty gloves specifically chosen to match her shoes going to even attempt to dab at the dark mark. White gloves and chocolate. No fucking way.

"Well, why don't you clean it off for me?" Jacob asked semi-seriously, as if it would be perfectly natural for her to do so. The way he raised his eyebrows at her and shrugged his shoulders, as if _she_ was the one who was making a big deal out of nothing, and Bella now felt dumb enough to actually think it was true.

She was stuck…_literally_ stuck, for her finger was pointing midway to his mouth- stationary, unmoving. She wasn't sure what to do, pull back or act normal like everyone else and wipe it for him? How the fuck do normal people act anyway? Where they supposed to just receive the germs coming from someone else's mouth into their finger? Telling themselves that they'll wash their hands later, therefore allowing their skin to be infested with the bacteria from someone else's mouth? For the statistic that Bella lived by, was basically her life lesson, and was that a human being's mouth was one of the most bacterially infested parts of the body. And this was rightfully so, for normal human beings could go hours without brushing their teeth every time they ate and besides that, everything they put into their mouth was just a liability for uncleanliness.

She began to hyperventilate, knowing that it probably took less than two seconds for the previous thoughts to race through her mind, but at the same time feeling as if her finger stood inches from Jacob's face for about two hours, therefore making her look utterly ridiculous, and she wouldn't have been surprised if somebody mistook her for a mime mimicking a statue.

She was still contemplating what to do when Jacob's neutral expression suddenly turned into a sly smile. Bella understood immediately.

"You're joking, right?" She scoffed, setting her forefinger down on her lap, "trying to get a rise out of me?"

Jacob shrugged. "Just wanted to know if you'd actually do it."

Bella's body tensed. "Why? Think I can't?" How much did he _really_ know about her? Had Billy let a comment slip?

"No," Now Jacob really _was_ confused, "I was just hoping you would, that's all."

She felt, rather than heard, her subconsciously held sigh escape her lips, noting how the deep fall of her chest seemed to cave within her, and finally letting out the biggest worry she had that night- that he knew of her craziness.

She reveled in the fact that he had no idea. He was just trying to flirt with her. A half-developed wish crossed her mind of her and Jacob becoming official and her finally sleeping with him after months of her having him beg for it, but she quickly forced that idea deep within the recesses of her mind, only allowing herself to think of these wicked thoughts later when she was home alone with Turbo. Thoughts of their naked bodies lavished in soap and him pounding her roughly while his grunts close to her ear and her pants and moans escalating louder and louder as her lower core vibrated beneath the weight of his muscular chest, their wet bodies fusing amidst Bella's sighs as she grabbed Jacob's luscious hair, pulling it as she rode her final wave of pleasure...

"Bella. Bella!" Jacob was holding two fingers up at her, snapping them.

"Sorry…" she mumbled, unable to meet his questioning gaze.

"What the hell where you thinking of?"He rested his hand on his chin, as if the question greatly intrigued him.

"Nothing," she shook her head, as if mentally brushing off her previous thoughts. Being brought to reality by Jacob only made the not-so-decent thoughts she had about him that much more embarrassing.

Jacob then glanced at Bella's hot, black cup of coffee. "You've never tried it with sugar?"

"What?" A look of comprehension then became evident on Bella's puzzled face as Jacob inclined his head to the cup of coffee she was grasping tightly between her white covered fingers, "Oh. No, not really."

"Why not?"

"I don't like sugar with any coffee. It made me wanna puke when I was younger."

Jacob furrowed his eyebrows. "Really?"

"Yeah. Why? Is that so hard to believe?"

"Well, yeah. I mean…" he leaned over the tiny table, glancing down at his rather tempting sugary tasting hot chocolate, "I don't get how some people like something so…plain and tasteless."

"Hey, it's not plain and tasteless. It's just…an acquired taste."

Jacob laughed. "That's for damn sure."

"Why you so hung up with it anyway?" Bella teased, bringing her cup up to her moist lips and taking a tiny sip.

"I'm not hung up with it…just interested. In fact," he whispered, leaning closer to Bella. He was so close, that Bella could see a tiny beauty mark on his upper right cheek. She quickly scanned his face, trying to find more beauty marks to count, hoping they could add up to four, six, or any perfect number that can easily be divisible. "That's what a date is all about. Finding out exactly why your date does the things she does."

"I thought a date was about getting to know the other person."

"Same thing," he replied, smiling.

She blushed, thinking how she should just paint herself red; it'll save her skin the trouble of changing hues every few minutes.

"So, I already found out something about you," he ventured to point out.

"What?"

"You like to play it safe."

Play what safe?"

"Just in general."

"How'd you come up with that?" Bella questioned, her hands suddenly tensing. She just thanked God that her cup was down on the table rather than her holding it, for she knew her gloves didn't have the proper grip needed for her to maintain her cup in her hands, for she was pretty sure she would've dropped it by now just by thinking that Jacob might be on to her.

She didn't know why she tortured herself like this. He doesn't know shit. She's fine. He's just joking. That's how he is, as she just figured out about two hours ago. He's…everything she isn't. And as she gazed into his dark eyes, taking in his easy smile and the slight pursing of his lips as he quickly contemplated her question, she could really see herself liking him, _seriously_ liking him, and it excited and scared her at the same time.

"I didn't come up with it," Jacob responded, "What you drink told me."

"What?"

"Yeah. This is the second time you've had black coffee, and you say you like it better than anything with sugar. I don't know, it's something that my mom used to say to me. The best way you can see how people are is by the food they eat. I never believed it to be true until now."

As Bella opened her mouth to protest he quickly cut her off, "I'm not saying that it's a bad thing. It's not. You seem to be set in your ways about a lot of things. The way you dress, you have to look perfect all the time, the weird thing you do with the front door, your gloves, how you think of me as kinda a slob. Which I guess I am compared to you, but for some reason it really seems to bug you, and I respect that. You're set in your ways and I take it you don't like to try new things, or you're scared to…which is kinda like plain black coffee, no spice, no flavor. There's nothing special to it. It's predictable and safe."

Bella bit her lip, taken aback at his accurate depiction of her. "Then why do you want to hang around someone who likes black coffee then?'

Jacob smiled. "Because I'm dying to see if I could add just a little drop of sugar to it."

It seemed as if minutes passed where Jacob and Bella just gazed at each other, one completely satisfied at the turn of conversation while the other was bewildered and a bit offended, until their waitress interrupted them.

"Are you guys ready to order?"

Neither of them had ever tried anything from Serenity's tiny dinner menu, for both of them only stopped at the coffee shop previously for the coffee. But they both agreed to try it out tonight, since neither of them knew of any other place in Forks.

"I am," Jacob exclaimed, quickly opening the small menu that was lying on his left arm, scanning through it in a matter of seconds, and placed it in the waitress's hands, "Eggs over easy."

"Okay sir," the waitress chirped, turning her attention to Jacob's disgusted date, "And you?"

"Uh," Bella flipped over hers, with somewhat less grace than Jacob and taking a lot more time. What the hell to have…what the hell to have…Her gloved index finger pointed to the sandwich section (which she hated. Sandwiches. Yuck) burgers…salads…soups. Hmmm. Safe enough.

"I'll have broccoli cheese soup," she said confidently, relieved that the place had something that was edible, for her number three preoccupation upon entering a new restaurant (number one being making sure everything, including the people, equaled an even number, as well as number two being making sure everything was spit spot clean) was making sure the menu contained something she liked, for she was a very picky eater. It all started when she was three years old and her mother kept feeding her bean soup through a blender, telling her it was good for her, and would help her bones grow. It all was a part of her mother's healthy eating. She also remembered a period when her mother would only feed her sweets, believing some new nutty diet of the time stating everything that was formerly considered unhealthy was ironically… _healthy_, which led to the brilliant conclusion that sweets, that over-indulgent concoction of unnecessary calories, was actually healthy…and good for you, which tragically resulted in Bella being nicknamed Shamu in the fifth grade. So…in short, she developed certain hesitancy to specific kinds of foods, especially anything having to do with beans. Disgusting.

"Good choice," the perky server said, scribbling in her notepad as she turned to leave.

"Wait!" Bella exclaimed, reaching her hand out as if to stop her, "I want crackers too, but on the side. On a separate plate, not on top of the soup. I also want the broccoli separated on another plate as well. Not on the same plate as the crackers, but on a third plate," her eyes widened as she immediately realized her blunder. Only three plates. Fuck. "Uh, can you add another plate underneath the plate that has the soup? Just so it won't be scorching hot?"

The young waitress stared at her as if she had grown two horns on top of her head, "Uh…okay."

She immediately began scribbling on her notepad, stopping only for a few seconds to recollect her thoughts, and then returned to her scribbling.

Bella looked at her sheepishly, suddenly feeling like a huge bitch for being so confusing and picky at the same time. But she just couldn't help it. The girl finally left, allowing Bella to focus her full attention on Jacob, who was eyeing her curiously.

"My little black coffee," he teased, shaking his head from side to side, "Why can't they all be put together?"

"I just don't like it that way."

"But why?"

"It's just…I don't like broccoli."

"Well, it _is _called broccoli cheese."

"Yeah, but I like everything else about it _but_ the broccoli."

Jacob laughed. "You're funny."

Bella smiled. "Wow."

"What?"

"No one's ever said that to me."

"Well, they're ridiculous not to. You're a funny girl, Bella." He paused for a moment, as if contemplating how to ask what he wanted to say next, "Why did you make a face when I ordered my food?"

"Cause I hate eggs."

Jacob's eyes widened. "Really? Why?"

Bella sighed. "Well, they smell bad. Look gross…are soggy, and just really disgusting."

"But everyone likes eggs."

She scoffed. "Not me."

"Any kind?" Jacob was bewildered. How in the fuck could anyone _not_ like something so nutritional, yet so tasty treat? For that's what it was to him, a tasty treat. The great thing about eggs was its versatility. For there were millions of ways to eat eggs, for all different types of people and taste buds- poached eggs, eggs Benedict, scrambled eggs, eggs over easy, hard-boiled egg, anything.

"Any kind."

"Wow." Jacob was at a loss for words.

"It's the same thing with the coffee," Bella cut in, smiling. She was slowly escalating on the soon-to-be high of having the upper hand, and she _loved _having the upper hand, "You don't like how I seem to enjoy plain, old, boring, predictable, black coffee and I don't like how you prefer to have soggy, greasy, smelly, disgusting eggs over easy…or any egg for that matter."

"There's different varieties of eggs," Jacob retorted, not liking the sound of defeat, but also enjoying the adrenaline coursing through his veins at this girl beating him at his own game, turning his little observation about her into a less appealing observation about him. For the first time since her initial rejection of him, he was beginning to feel a tad insecure. Did she really find him that disgusting and smelly? He made sure to spray an extra dose of deodorant, and spent fifteen minutes in the shower just so he could smell fresh. His odor and manly smell never seemed to bother any of his previous girlfriends and dates…among other things. But then again, Bella Swan wasn't any ordinary girl, and this thought in itself was reason enough for the familiar bump in the crotch of his pants to make its appearance yet again.

"Does this have anything to do with Leah?" He just had to know.

"No, it doesn't. Although that was extremely stupid on your part."

"Yeah, yeah. I know."

Bella sighed. "I just really don't like eggs. It has nothing to do with you, like me liking black coffee with no sugar at all has nothing to do with me."

Jacob smiled. "Whatever you say."

Once the formerly bubbly waitress brought their food and left, after much fussing over Bella's tray and repeatedly asking her if she missed anything, her words barely intelligible even after Bella reassured her that she got her order right, Bella decided not to concentrate on Jacob digesting that nasty piece of egg and focused her sole attention on her beautiful broccoli cheese soup. Minus the broccoli.

She inhaled the rich aroma of the melted cheese, and with that thought in mind, she automatically opened up her purse and took out a set of plastic silverware she always kept stashed in her purse. She always liked to keep two sets, obviously not happy only having one. For she never trusted restaurants with their "cleaning" of silverware. She remembered an incident when she was four years old and her mother took her to Pizza Hut. The details escaped her but she remembered sitting in that big booth and staring at faded silverware that still contained a bit of dried up sauce on its tips. It nearly made Bella hyperventilate and Renee had to quickly get her out of the restaurant lest she started screaming bloody murder. It was horrifying. Of course, that was when Renee got the message that something was seriously wrong with her daughter, which led to Bella's lifelong love/hate relationship with psychiatric therapy.

Sighing as she drove her previously wrapped, clean, plastic spoon into the creamy, melted cheese soup, finally tasting the richness of the cheddar, did she finally realize Jacob looking at her, covering his mouth.

"What?" she asked, once swallowing her soup.

"You brought your own silverware?" Bella noted the rise and fall of his chest, as if he was trying hard to hold back his laughter…which he was.

"Yeah, I don't trust restaurants." She wasn't even trying to hide her craziness anymore. There was no way she could even feign indifference to using utensils that have been in everyone and their mother's mouths. No fucking way.

Jacob failed to utter a single word after that remark. He barely took a bite out of his own plate, for his eyes and mind were completely preoccupied with Bella's choice of eating utensils as well as her light eating habits. She still ate like a fucking bird, but she had never looked sexier. He had never been so intrigued by another human being in his life. He knew she was different the moment he saw her get out of her Hyundai, berating herself and cursing him, her clean cut, pristine little outfit contrasting greatly to her eccentric personality. He never knew himself to be so drawn to a girl like her. He was used to dating older, curvaceous, bitchy, confident, bombshell- type women…like Leah Clearwater. But Leah's confidence was just an act. Girls like Leah were all the same. They acted tough but weren't really. Leah depended too much on Jacob, and it drove him up a wall. He knew that after tonight's incident, Leah would go crying to her father or brother, and Jacob wouldn't hear the end of it and feel guilty. He had half a mind to go afterwards to apologize to her, but he then regained his common sense. She would rip out his balls if he thought of showing his face at her doorstep, but then, why would he? When he was near someone like Bella?

The thing with Bella was that she never tried to be sexy. She just _was_ to him. She was the first girl that genuinely looked pretty on their first date. No overtly sexual dress, no showing of the cleavage, just really pretty. A natural girl. A natural girl who was set in her ways and didn't change them to please Jacob. She was awesome. It was the only word he could think of the moment to describe his opinion of her, no matter how juvenile it was.

He watched as she bunched up the crackers that were still in their case, crunching them down until they were only a pile of dust in the bag, and open it right in front of the melting soup, pouring its powdery contents into the bowl.

"Why do you crunch them up like that?" he asked in awe.

"Because then I wouldn't have to coun- they'd be so mixed in with the soup that it would seem like a part of it," she continued as he gazed at her in confusion, "I'd rather do it myself. No one gets it right but me."

As they both continued to eat, Bella lightly sipping her soup and Jacob wolfing down on his eggs, much to Bella's dismay and mortification, Jacob began asking her the usual date questions- what did she like to do in her spare time, how did she get into teaching, etc. Bella found it rather easy to get into conversation with him. They were different, that was for sure- complete opposites, but Jacob Black was a very laid-back guy, and for the first time in awhile, Bella found herself easily opening up to him. It started to seem less like a first date, with all its nerves and constant worries of making a good impression, and began to evolve into a conversation between two friends. Bella found herself thinking that she had just stumbled upon her first real friend in Forks, and it was funny and rather ironic that it happened to be her first date in the town as well.

"You still can't look at me, can you?" Jacob asked as Bella began counting again the various heads of the guests in the restaurant.

"No, not really." There was no point in lying. He knew what her stance was on his choice of food.

"Don't worry, I'm almost done," he stated in between mouthfuls.

Bella couldn't help but look at him from the corner of her eye. She could see him devouring his plate, wiping it clean with his fork, picking up the scraps with it. He ate like a dog.

"There, all gone," he grinned wickedly, obviously enjoying Bella's discomfort. The whole thing was funny to him. She was so adamantly mad about his eating eggs over easy that she wouldn't even look at him. It was so hot.

"Good," he said, relieved that she could finally turn her attention to him.

After excusing herself to the restroom during the end of the evening to wash her hands, all of which Jacob volunteered to do the same afterwards; she came back to the table to find her date signing his name on the restaurant's copy of the receipt. He had paid. Bella hoped he would, only because it was the gentlemanly thing to do, but she honestly didn't think he was the type that would. But he surprised her all right, and for once, it was a good surprise.

"Ready to go?" he asked, leaving his tip in cash on the table.

"Can you please wash your hands?" She felt slightly ashamed of herself for asking, but she couldn't help herself.

"What if I don't?" he asked teasingly.

"Then…no second date." Bella's eyes widened. She normally would crawl into a hole and die for saying that to a guy, especially on a date. But with Jacob it was like she was talking to an old chum. Somehow, in the back of her mind, she knew he wouldn't take offense to it. He didn't seem to take offense to anything.

"You're a tough girl, Bella." He laughed, and headed off to the men's room.

She was right; he didn't get pissed about it.

* * *

"How serious was it between you and Leah?" Bella blurted out right after she attempted to count everything in his car Jacob easily turned on the ignition in his rabbit, with Bella still being amazed at his lack of preparation in doing so. If only it were so easy with her.

"I don't really like talking about my previous girlfriends on a first date," Jacob responded. His voice was devoid of his usual playfulness, and Bella shrunk in her seat, wanting to hide her head in her lap for asking such a stupid question.

"I don't know. I just thought I should ask since she did threaten me at the restaurant."

"She didn't threaten you."

"Uh, yeah she did," Bella retorted, her posture returning to its normal, straight as an arrow stance, "She basically told me to find someone else to date that isn't Native American and never to show my face in the rez again."

"Well, not in those words exactly-"

"But it was the same sentiment," Bella interrupted, and sighed.

Jacob sighed as well. "I've known her since I was a kid, Bella. She was the hot, older sister of a friend of mine. I mean, all of us guys always had kind of a crush on her. I never thought I would end up dating her. But she was just too much."

Bella's heart began beating rapidly within her chest. "In what way?"

"I don't know. She just got too possessive. Never let me do what I wanted to do. Was always around. Stuff like that."

"Oh."

After twelve seconds of an awkward silence Jacob broke the ice. "How old are you?"

Bella's eyes widened. It was a weird fucking question. "Twenty-five."

Jacob nodded his head. "Awesome. You already fit my criteria. An older woman."

Bella immediately whipped her head to her left to look at him. "How old are you?" Please let him not be eighteen. _Please_. It's sad that the only guy that is interested in her possibly get was a teenager. Fucking great.

"Twenty-three." Oh, relief.

"I'm only two years older than you," Bella retorted. He made it seem as if she was a cougar, and she wasn't ready to consider herself that old yet. She was still fairly young.

"Yeah, I know. But you're still older, and I like that."

"Why?"

"Older women just know what they want. They're not dependent and clingy, which I hate."

"Oh, okay then." Bella was nervous. She knew herself to wear her heart on her sleeve. Her dad even warned her about getting into a relationship, worried that if any problems might arise, she could seriously enter into one of her dark depressions. But this time it would be different. She was happy, carefree and would stay that way. She just had to keep telling herself that she didn't want a serious relationship. This was all fun and games.

Before she knew it, he was edging slowly up her driveway, making sure that Charlie wasn't around. He wasn't. He was probably still at work. Bella felt it was just good luck that Charlie chose that night to stay out working. Great. Things were definitely ending on a high. For she knew that once he heard Jacob's jalopy pull up to the driveway she wouldn't hear the end of it. She didn't think she could sit through another one of her Dad's disappointing talks of her previous bouts of depression due to some guy. It was too embarrassing, and she seriously didn't even want to think about it.

"Well, this is it," Jacob stated, putting the car on park and shutting off the engine, "Since your Dad's not here, I can walk you to your door."

Bella smiled, opening the handle to get out of the car. But Jacob was too quick for her, for he was immediately by her side, opening the door for her.

"Thanks," she said, getting out of the car and walking up the twelve steps to the front door.

"I don't think I have to tell you that I want to see you again," Jacob whispered, standing so close to her now that she could smell the breath mints he recently popped into his mouth.

Was he going to kiss her? Bella hadn't kissed a guy in a long time. She remembered her first kiss to be the most horrible, embarrassing experience she'd ever gone through. She remembered him telling her that she opened her mouth to wide, that she was sucking the life out of him, and he basically had to teach her how to kiss. She liked Jacob too much for her to mess up somehow. She wished it and dreaded it at the same time.

"I wouldn't mind that," she replied, not wanting him to know how much she wanted to see him as well. Act as if it's not that important, act cool.

He leaned in closer to her, taking in her lavender scent. It was as if she just showered, she smelled so good. He was a head taller than her, so he bent his head low, and placed a light kiss on her forehead. His lips lingered there for a moment until he bent his head lower, to the side, and kissed her left cheek, and then moved to her right.

They were very innocent kisses, but Bella still felt a tingling sensation in her nether regions. She knew she had to take another shower once entering the house. Her panties were wet again. It didn't matter what he did or how he did it, he was sensual. The man just screamed sex, and right now, Bella wished she was a loose girl who was emotionally disconnected so she could have earth shattering sex with him, let him fuck her brains out. She felt like a teenage boy. Her hormones and sexual wants were so high lately that she feared that one day, she would just rip off Jacob's clothes and do dirty things to him. She was going to masturbate the minute she finishes showering.

"You're so pretty," Jacob whispered in her ear, placing a light kiss on her outer earlobe as well, "I'll call you."

"Okay," she stammered, feeling as if her knees were going to give out.

He immediately left her side, making Bella feel shaky. His body's sudden departure from close contact with hers was too soon, too abrupt. She wanted him to come back, but glad that he didn't. For she knew once he did she would lead him into her bedroom.

He smiled at her as he got into the car, and drove off.

Oh. My. Fucking. God. She couldn't wait to get inside the house. She would probably masturbate in the shower, even. She was so turned on. She decided she would masturbate twice. One in the shower and one with Turbo. The date ended on a high note, even though she met up with his bitch of an ex-girlfriend. It ended on a high note indeed.

Unlock the door.

Lock the door.

Unlock the door.

Lock the door.

Unlock the door.

The date ended very well, very well indeed.


	8. Chapter 8 The Evenly Unexpected

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews and alerts. They always make my day. I've never updated anything this late before, and I probably never will. Next week I'll update at a more reasonable time. LOL

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, Steph Meyer does. I don't own the lyrics of My Fair Lady, all credit goes to Alan Jay Lerner and and Frederick Loewe.

* * *

Chapter 8. The Evenly Unexpected

Eliza Doolittle. That was one of the only people who could truly relate to what Bella was feeling as she climbed up the twenty-eight steps of stairs to her bedroom, twirling around her bedpost just like Audrey Hepburn did in _My Fair Lady_, not even realizing that she had already hung her purse on the hook next to the door and folded her silver gloves three times, depositing them in the third drawer on her nightstand.

Bella always believed, since she was a little girl, that she completely understood Eliza's happiness after an evening of speaking pronunciation words and sentences correctly, just like a lady, ultimately disguising her lowly station of life. But she never truly felt the same exhilaration until this moment. It was one of the best ends to a date she had ever been on. Granted, she met up with his ex, but if _everything_ had gone right than that would be more cause for worry, right? Like the old saying went, too good to be true? She had to believe that. She had to believe that one block in the road was canceled out by a perfect ending, just like in a movie. Girl falling for a guy who she initially was semi-disgusted with in the beginning; it was the essence of a perfect romantic comedy.

She immediately headed to her closet, choosing a long, purple shirt and matching purple granny panties, automatically heading to her bathroom. One, two, three, four, five, etc. Once she reached the twenty-second object (humming Eliza's famous song all the while) she jumped into the shower, completely engrossed in the song in her head and imagining herself as Eliza. Having a bunch of maids dress her and attend to her every whim as well as dancing around the room, glad that she finally was a lady. Or, in Bella's case, that she finally had a man. He didn't run away. He wasn't disgusted with her, and he was going to call her. She was a modern- day Cinderella.

She was half-disappointed as the water dripping down her face was eliminating the kisses Jacob placed all over her face. But another part of her was relieved, for she was rid of his germs. God, why did she have to be so difficult? Why couldn't she be normal like everyone else? She never understood how in middle school, the girls in her class would swoon when they claimed they went to a popular band's concert and the lead singer would miraculously kiss their hands or on their cheek and the girls made a point to not wash it a week after. Bella was always sure they were lying. But of course, that was never the reason for her blatant disgust; rather, their need to have the saliva from another person linger on their skin was appalling to her. At the time, it didn't matter if Justin Timberlake himself planted a wet one on her; she damn well made sure she took a shower afterwards. Which is just what she did now. But then again, there _was_ a twinge of regret as her dove soap eliminated any trace that Jacob left on her. All she had left now where her memories of how the kiss felt- soft, warm…just magical.

Audrey kept on singing over and over in her head. She couldn't get the song out of her head. She was just glad that she had the special edition DVD of _My_ _Fair Lady_ amongst her myriad of movie collections. Once locating it in the middle section of her collection labeled "Romantic Musicals" she popped the DVD in, fast forwarding it immediately to _I Could've Danced All Night._ She was glad her Dad hadn't come home yet, for she definitely didn't want him hearing her sing. The last time he did was when she was five and pretending she was Maria Von Trapp, playing with the curtains in her room while singing "My Favorite Things" to herself, using Julie Andrews' advice to the children of thinking about things that make you happy in order to forget the bad; the bad in her case being dragged by her Dad to go fishing with Billy Black. Nothing was more boring than fishing. It unfortunately didn't work, for once her Dad entered her room to find his daughter with half the drapes hanging around her waist, just like Andrews' finishing pose in the end of the number, he began laughing, teasing her about it the entire way over to the rez.

Her heart froze as a horrible thought crossed her mind. Could Billy have possibly told Jacob about it? If he did, Jacob probably forgot, considering he was two years younger than her, and she was nine at the time. As her heart rate returned to its normal, steady rhythm, she was assured with the comforting thought that this incident happened a million years ago and Jacob didn't know anything. The two older men must have forgotten a stupid incident that happened so many years ago. And Bella made it a point to never sing and dance at her father's house ever again after that. She only did those things in her house in Phoenix. She honestly had no idea why she had the inclination to act out her favorite, childish songs at the age of twenty-five, but after such a good night she didn't particularly care.

"I could've danced all night, "Bella sang out, twirling around the room, "I could've danced all night, and still have begged for more."

Bella mimicked Audrey's moves and goofy smile as she lifted up her arms like her, pretending two of the servants were lifting her clothes off, and dressing her in her Victorian nightgown. She previously chose from her closet the only long nightgown-like pajama she had. It wasn't the best, but she could easily use her imagination and pretend hers was the same white color as Eliza's.

Her voice rang throughout the room, glad that enough furniture inhabited the small space so her voice lacked that echo, booming quality that was noticeable in her larger Phoenix bedroom. For she hated focusing on her own voice, and was frightened that anyone else could possibly hear her. Renee never really cared, since she was so busy taking cooking lessons after being inspired by Rachael Ray, going to her daily kickboxing classes, book of the month clubs and the like, that she barely focused on Bella's lack of vocal ability and her fanatical emulations of her favorite movie stars and singers. But Charlie's heaving shoulders, choking laughter, and constant breaking up into fits of giggles that horrid day after witnessing Bella's escape into the Von Trapp World, made her never want to attempt to do anything of the like. Until now. He was nowhere to be found and she was all by herself in the house.

"All niiiight." She held out the last note.

But of course, not as long as Audrey did, or Audrey's voice-over, which Bella only found out a few years ago. The fact that Audrey Hepburn didn't do any of her own singing shocked and relieved her. It made this romantic, chic, sophisticated, ethereal woman seem more human, real, and raw. She had faults, just like everyone else. But at the same time, it burst her little bubble of truly imitating Audrey Hepburn in everything she did, even her way of relating to people Bella sometimes copied in order to boost her low self-esteem. She did that with countless other movie stars as well. At least, the ones that everyone around them equally admired and desired.

Audrey Hepburn may not have been perfect in real life, but in the movies she was, and that wasn't going to change the fact that Bella right now had the same affect on Jacob as Eliza Doolittle had on Freddie. She nearly swooned at the thought of Jacob standing outside her house, singing "On the Street Where you Live" to her. It was innocent, romantic, and beautiful.

As she glanced at the space underneath her bed where Turbo lay, she could almost imagine his gazing up at her forlornly, knowing she was giving up on him for the night. Which she was, for she could never commit herself to such a raunchy, dirty, (though positively pleasant) act such as masturbating after imagining herself as elegant as Audrey. Audrey would never do something so heinous… or would she? It didn't matter. The Audrey in her head never would. So she wouldn't…at least not tonight.

"Bella?" a clear, but hesitant voice rang out in the hall, causing Bella to nearly stumble over herself, and had to hold on the huge bed posting for dear life. Fuck. Dad was home. She sprinted over to the TV set, fumbling with the remote control, finally turning it off.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Can I come in?"

Bella took a minute to collect herself mentally and physically, racking her brain for some possible excuse as to why singing could be heard. The TV was on too loud? Too stupid, for it was clearly her singing. She smoothed out invisible creases on her nightgown and opened the door, only to find an amused smile playing on her father's lips.

"Didn't know you still sang," he teased, looking around as if someone else was in the room as well.

"I'm the only one here, Dad," Bella responded, running a hand through her hair, her gaze wandering nervously to the blank television set, hoping her father didn't notice the _My Fair Lady_ DVD lying at an angle to the left side of the screen.

"I wasn't looking for anyone else," his gaze wandered as well, resting on the same DVD cover as Bella, "Ah, _My Fair Lady_. Should've known."

"It's not what you think." She instinctively grabbed the case, trying, but failing miserably, at hiding it.

"It's cute you still watch those movies and sing," Charlie said, still smiling.

"Dad, stop." Her father's smile was contagious. She was torn between laughing along with him and wanting to crawl into bed, and pulling the covers over her head.

"What?" Charlie asked teasingly, "It _is_ cute, and I'm glad to see you so happy."

"Yeah, I _have _been feeling good."

"When you seeing Dr. Jenkins?"

Oh God. "Wednesday of next week."

"Good, good," he responded somewhat monotonously, as if his thoughts were elsewhere, "So obviously the medication is working well for you?"

"It's only been a week, but so far so good."

"Haven't had any panic attacks?"

"No," she lied, rather badly in her opinion. But Charlie didn't seem to notice.

"Good, good."

They both stood awkwardly, which seemed to happen every time medication, doctors, and her various disorders were the topic of conversation. Bella was beginning to think that they should've stuck to speaking of her little dalliance with musical theatre.

"You hanging out with friends this weekend?"

"Don't know."

"Okay. Good night." And with that, he gave her one last smile before closing the door behind him.

Bella let out a sigh of relief that he didn't ask how her night was, for she wasn't good at improvisation and surely couldn't think of a damned good lie even if her life depended on it. Yes, everything turned out pretty good that night- minus the scary ex-girlfriend and being caught singing- _very_ good indeed.

He didn't call her. Neither Friday nor Saturday.

Friday was pure torture. The students in her third period class reverted back to being incorrigible as before, believing that Miss Swan's absentmindedness that day was a godsend. It was also the end of the week, which by default gave the freshmen more reason to spend the entire period sending each other text messages and watching YouTube videos on their Iphones. Bella heard their snickering and the loud vibrations of their phones, signaling a new text was received. She tried to be the bitch she was only four days ago, but she was too anxious. Too nervous.

Lunch was the worst. She did nothing but stare at her phone, begging it, willing it to ring. But nothing. She ate her peanut butter and jelly sandwich in silence, making sure she had a good grip on the thing even with her brown gloves. For that was the downfall of wearing gloves- everything was slippery, no good grip. That was the only thing wrong with gloves, the only thing. Besides that, they were a dream and a part of Bella's existence basically.

But she was on such tender hooks, glancing at her one source of instant communication outside of the school grounds, drumming her fabric-covered fingers absentmindedly on the lunch table in the teacher's lounge, that she didn't notice Jessica Stanley sitting next to her, her usual Cobb salad in hand.

She slid slyly in the seat next to Bella, immediately noticing her nervous, out-of-focus behavior. She knew the minute she saw Bella that she was a little strange and she had a sneaking suspicion that there was more to this socially challenged girl than meets the eye. She had a good notion to think that Bella had an intense neat fetish. She related her thoughts to Mike a few days ago, with him gazing back at her as if she lost her mind. It was times like those when she questioned her attraction to him. He was pretty dense sometimes. Especially after she found out Bella's little freak out incident with her students on Monday. It was totally obvious that Bella had some kind of intense obsessive compulsive disorder. Though she tried to find out from various sources if this was the case and why exactly did the chief's daughter move to Forks, no one knew. Or, as Jessica thought, no one wanted to tell her. She would definitely find out herself, for besides being good at teaching a bunch of giggling girls and boys who took her course only to flirt and get into said girls' pants how to bake, she was gifted in the art of gossip and finding out top secret information. And the weirdness that is Bella is exactly the kind of top secret information that just needed to be found out at this moment.

"Hey Bella," Jessica greeted her, flashing her fake, sweet smile.

"Hi." Bella instinctively inched away from her co-worker. She hoped she didn't notice.

"You waiting for someone to call?" Jessica asked nonchalantly, wiggling her eyebrows in a teasing manner. She learned throughout the years that the best method to get information was of course, to be blunt about it, but in a friendly off-hand manner, as if you couldn't give two shits what the answer really was. All very friendly, very open. It was a good way to hide her true intentions, which was finding out Bella's secret.

"Uh, no not really." Bella immediately hid her cell phone in her purse, telling herself she wouldn't even peek in to look. But then again, she knew that fucking attempt would be futile.

"It sure looks as if you are,' Jessica pressed, stabbing her fork into her salad.

Bella thought she would puke as she saw her comrade stick a bit of hard boiled egg in her mouth. Disgusting. Looking away, she automatically thought of Jacob. It was only Friday afternoon. He would call at least tonight, or Saturday. She remembered an insightful line from one of her favorite movies as a kid, _Clueless_, where the protagonist named Cher mentioned something about "boy time" when she was waiting for her date to call her, and her already knowing that if he said he was going to call a certain day, it always meant three days later. Bella fucking hoped it was true. It's fucking sad that a sixteen year-old character knows more about the workings of the male mind than her. Fucking sad indeed.

"Uh…nothing," For some odd reason, Bella was half compelled to let Jessica in on knowing about her date. She was just glad that she could finally be one of those girls who can talk about a date she'd been on, for the last one she had been on was nearly four years ago.

Jessica furrowed her eyebrows. "You know hiding it in your purse doesn't really stop you from looking in."

Bella's cheeks flushed. "Uh…don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, come on. You waiting for a guy to call you or something?" The girl took another bite of her nasty salad.

Bella looked away. "Yeah," she admitted, giving in to defeat.

"Ooh, you dating someone?" Jessica couldn't help but gush. It didn't matter that she barely knew the girl. She loved talking about romantic relationships, especially ones that were just starting.

"No, we just went on a date last night."

"Oh, then he's not gonna call today," Jessica said off-handedly, loving the fact that she was able to give advice to one who obviously had no clue about men, "he'll call in about two or three days."

Yeah, that's what I've heard," Bella replied, not comfortable enough to disclose the embarrassing source of her knowledge, "How come guys do that?"

Jessica shrugged. "Don't know. Even though I did read that they do that to try to test you or something."

"Test me?"

"Yeah. To see if you care that they don't call right away." Jessica rolled her eyes as if that was the stupidest thing she'd ever heard of. Bella hated to admit this, but she agreed with her.

"Just play it cool," Jessica advised, "Do other things to distract yourself."

"Okay," Bella murmured. Twirling around her bedroom and singing to Julie Andrews and watching _Gone with the Wind_ came to mind.

"Hey," Jessica chimed in, her eyes lighting up as if an agreeable idea had just popped into her head, " I'm going out with a couple of friends of mine on Saturday night- one of them's Angela Weber, you know her right?"

Bella looked at her lunch companion questioningly, not answering. She had no idea, and tried not to be embarrassed by the fact.

"Well, she teaches History and she's a good friend of mine. You'd like her, she's cool. I'm surprised you haven't met her."

"No, sorry to say I haven't."

"Well," Jessica began, taking a bite of her lettuce, which didn't gross out Bella in the least, "She has second lunch so maybe that's why."

"I guess."

"So, you wanna hang out with us? Get your mind off this mystery guy for a bit?"

Bella half- wanted to go, but was scared of leaving the comforts of her home. For some reason, she was more comfortable with Jacob than Jessica, which was strange, since girls tended to gravitate towards each other for comfortability, rather than a date.

"I'll see."

Jessica sighed. She knew it was going to be a while for Bella to spill the beans to her.

"Well, call me okay? You have my number, right?"

Bella nodded. "Yeah, think so."

"Okay, good," Jessica stated, wolfing down the remainder of her salad, with Bella looking away. Until finally finished, she got up and threw her plate into the nearest can, "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah, sure," Bella smiled weakly, taking a bite of her sandwich. A night of hanging out with girls she barely knew and going God knows where was enough to turn her off completely. For avoiding any kind of discomfort was key to her, which was why it would be difficult to accept Jessica's offer. She instinctively fumbled through her purse and located her phone, and upon gazing at the screen displaying no missed calls, she began to reconsider her decision.

"How was work?" Charlie asked his daughter as they both relaxed on the couch that Friday evening. It was one of the only Fridays that he got to spend home, and glad that it is with his daughter.

"Good," she yawned, running a lightly gloved finger through her freshly washed hair.

"You going out tonight?"

Bella turned to look at her father. He knew perfectly well she would be staying home. "No…but I might be going out tomorrow."

Charlie's eyes widened. "Really? With who?"

"Jessica Stanley, a co-worker of mine. And some of her friends."

"Well, that's great, Bella. It really is." Charlie beamed at her and shook his head as if in extreme approval, "Guess the doctor is doing her job."

"Yeah, I guess," Bella responded. There was a brief silence as Charlie flipped through channels, while Bella re- counted the living room even though she did that before sitting down, just to make sure everything was okay.

Twenty- eight, twenty-nine, thirty…

"She just invited me," she blurted out.

"What?" Charlie gazed at her, slightly taken aback at her random comment.

"Yeah," Bella went on, liking the fact that she was starting a conversation with her Dad, no matter how stupid it was, "We started talking at lunch and she invited me. I don't exactly know where we're going but it'll be fun." She needed to talk to someone to get her mind off of Jacob and the fact that he still hadn't called her. Maybe Cher and Jessica were right- He was testing her. Well, he could go fuck himself for now. She told herself she wasn't going to care. She would go on as she was before she met him, besides it was only _one_ date. He wasn't her boyfriend. He wasn't her boyfriend. It was a mantra she kept repeating to herself for the last hour. Four times to make it true.

"Good, good," he replied gaily, still flipping through channels until he finally stopped at a station showing a basketball game.

"You going out tonight?" Bella asked.

"No no," Charlie stared at the screen, this time not even glancing in his daughter's direction. She then knew he was a goner, but she still had to ask.

"You're not going to Billy's or anything?"

"No. I called him to see if he wanted to come over. But he said Jacob wanted to take him out for the night. Don't know where. Not even Billy knows," Charlie's brows then furrowed as he finally tore his gaze away from the screen to observe his strangely inquisitive daughter, "Why you ask? Still thinking about Jacob?"

Bella froze, stupidly thinking he somehow knew about last night. "I- uh..."

"Like I said before, I don't think you should get into anything right now. Jacob's a good kid but… he…he's just not for you."

"Why?"

"You need someone more serious, Bella," Charlie turned his full body towards his daughter now, and took her covered hands in his own; "He's a carefree guy. A bit…too carefree."

"You saying he's a male slut?" Bella asked tersely.

"No, "Charlie responded slowly, inclining his head to the side, "He's not like _that._ You just need someone older. A guy who is established somewhere. 'Cause the saying that girls mature faster than boys is true Bella, even in your twenties. He's a good kid. Just not for you."

She alternated between saying nothing or confessing to her father that she went on a date with Jacob Black. Hmm. If she didn't say anything, there would be no constant intrusion into her daily life by her father, and no shotgun ready for Jacob after their dates. She would say nothing.

"Besides," Charlie continued light-heartedly, completely oblivious to the turmoil of emotions Bella was feeling at that moment, "You wouldn't stand him for too long, knowing you. He rides a motorcycle."

Wait, what?

"What?" Bella gasped, unable to hide her shock. Not that she was planning on hiding it anyway.

Charlie laughed, "Yeah, exactly. I can't imagine you on the back of his motorcycle. The wind in your hair, the smell of fresh air, you'd die."

She glared at him, a bit pissed that he would insult her like that, no matter how teasingly he did it. But it was totally true, so she couldn't' say jack shit.

"Whatever."

He sighed at the negativity in her voice. "Just concentrate on the new friends you're making," he seemed to have thought of something else, for the crinkle in his brow was hard to mistake for anything else, and a more concerned, serious tone was evident in his voice, "You weren't thinking of really going out with him, were you? Did you like him?"

Bella instantly thought yes, but then she remembered that he still hadn't called her, or texted her even. She really did think that he was playing a game with her by not calling, and that pissed her off more than anything. What better way to get back at him, even in a stupid, childish way, then to say out loud that she wasn't attracted to him, and didn't like him, even if it was only to her father, but especially only to herself. There seemed to be a sort of finality to saying something out loud, even if you don't really mean it.

"No, not at all. He's too pushy, and you're right Dad. He's kinda immature. And he works at a garage, for God's sake. I can't handle that."

She immediately regretted the words out of her mouth. She was wrong. They didn't make her feel better. She only felt worse. Images of his smile, his opening the door for her, his kisses all across her face flashed before her, and she felt like such a fucking bitch. Fuck what Jessica said. He was probably just busy. Something she should be too, if she had a life. It sucks that she really doesn't.

"Now don't be mean, Bella. He _is _Billy's son. And it doesn't help any that I've known him since he was in diapers," he chuckled, returning his attention to the screen once realizing his suspicions and fears were unfounded.

Bella laughed as well. The thought of Jacob Black in diapers was cute and amusing.

"I'm gonna go upstairs," Bella declared, getting up off the sofa.

"Okay, sweetie. Just keep the singing down," Charlie replied absent-mindedly, his concentration rapidly focusing on the game in front of him.

"Dad, I wasn't singing," she gasped in mock shock. It was best to play it cool. Because if you get too worked up about something, it's most likely to be true. So, play it cool, Bella. Play your singing frenzy cool.

"Whatever you say," Charlie replied, shaking his head.

Without another word, she climbed the twenty-eight steps up to her room, excluding the thirteenth. Upon entering her beautifully clean room, she took out Turbo, and proceeded to pleasure herself to oblivion for the rest of the night.

_You coming out with us?_

That was the only text Bella received that Saturday afternoon. From Jessica Stanley. Not from Jacob Black. Asshole.

She was glad for texting, for it gave her time to answer back instead of receiving a phone call that made an answer be immediate. She took her time in answering, thinking about the pros and cons of each. She inwardly groaned, knowing when in times like these, when she was particularly indecisive about wanting to get out of her shell and get over her awkwardness around total strangers, she had to make an actual, physical list. Which is why it was with little difficulty that she took out a fluffy, pink, brand new notepad she kept in her Liz Claiborne purse, for these decision-making incidents could occur at any time, so it was best for Bella to carry a pad with her always, instead of just having one in her room. Organization and being constantly prepared was key to success. At least, that's what she kept telling herself.

If she didn't go, what the hell would she do then? She could spend the whole day cleaning. That would be fun enough. But she usually left cleaning the house in its entirety for Sundays, and it has gotten to the point of being so ritualistic that to change it now would be suicide for her.

She thought of the various movies she could watch. There also could be something she didn't own showing on Cable. But it wouldn't get her mind off of Jacob. Being in this house would be the worst.

Pros of staying home- Comfortablility in watching more romantic movies.

Cons of staying home- Jacob-Obsessed.

But if she went out with these girls, she'd have to go through the awkward exchange of them inquiring her name, occupation, etc. Things that shouldn't freak her out but did.

Cons of going out - being social.

But if she stayed home and pined over Jacob and having her face constantly glued to the fucking phone it would be his way of winning, his way of having her hooked on him. If she went out, it was like saying she didn't care.

Pros of going out- feigning indifference.

A stupid thought then occurred to her, which caused her to drop her pen and fluffy notebook all together. (That itself wasn't a difficult feat since her gloves caused everything to easily slip through her fingers). What if she saw Jacob wherever the girls were going to? That wasn't possible. He said himself that he never hung around Forks, except at Serenity. Were they going to Serenity? That would be nice. A nice, quiet place where nice music would be playing while she sipped on her black coffee. Pretty decent. She could just imagine Jacob's face as he saw Bella with a group of girls enjoying herself, seeing her interacting with friends outside of him. If she did see him there, she would of course act like she was chummy with the other girls, and it was an incentive to converse with them openly. She liked this idea, for it made her infinitely more at ease with falling into light-hearted conversation with these complete strangers. Her trying to impress someone else would make her less conscious of how others viewed her. For that was the real problem, being concerned with how other people saw her, but not tonight. She hoped and prayed that he would be where she was going, though it was one hundred percent unlikely, it was still a hope.

She slowly circled "Pros of Going out", already deciding on her answer. Without thinking about it anymore, she texted her answer back to Jessica.

_Yeah, I'm gonna go with u guys. What time? Where at?_

It was only minutes before Jessica responded back.

_Somewhere cool. The Glass House. Angela's been there before. What u gonna wear?_

Bella panicked. Was there a dress code or something? Was she supposed to wear something specific? She decided to play it cool, though.

_Don't know. U?_

Bella went to the bathroom, quickly counting the twenty-two objects to calm herself down. She was beginning to regret her decision, for she was scared of where they were taking her. She thought it would be something like a movie or a nice coffee place or out to eat. This was starting to sound fishy. Her phone sounded loudly, causing Bella to drop it on the bathroom floor.

_Apple bottoms and a hot top. U need help picking out something?_

Hot top? Hot top?? Oh, fuck.

_Yeah._

This time, it seemed like hours before Jessica responded. Bella was in the middle of dusting her bookshelf to calm her nerves when she finally looked at her phone.

_I could go to your house if u want. I have a bunch of cute clothes._

Bella smiled softly. That was sweet of her. A girl she barely knew was offering to dress her up. She felt bad, and any thoughts she had of backing out flew out the window at this nice gesture.

_Okay. What time will you get here? U coming with the girls?_

_Yeah. They can help too. Is that al right? How about ten?_

Bella groaned inwardly. She quickly typed back her acquiesce, knowing just by the time the girls would be at her house where they were going. To a club. The last time Bella went to a club she was twenty, and her only saving grace was that it was an outdoorsy type of club, meaning one could chill out in the back in the open air and it was still part of the club. But that wasn't a guarantee. It wasn't guaranteed that she would be prevented from having to surround herself with sweaty, drunk, bodies and inhaling smoke and having the smell get all over her clothes. Fuck me. Fuck me indeed. They were already coming. Too late to back out now. She just wondered how she was going to ever survive the night. Thanks, Jacob Black. Thanks.

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A/N: Sorry that there's no Jacob in this chap. But even though he's not physically there he still is...so.... don't worry. he's gonna pop up again next chap.


	9. Chapter 9 The Odd Saturday Night

A/N: I want to thank everyone for the wonderful reviews, new readers, and everyone who has put this story on alert and favorites. Reading reviews truly make my day. I apologize greatly for the delay in posting. Real lLife called but I promise you won't have to wait as long as this! Happy Reading!

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Chapter 9. The Odd Saturday Night

"Honestly, this closet looks like a rainbow!" Jessica Stanley exclaimed as her bright eyes scanned Bella's color coordinated closet.

"I just like to keep things neat," Bella answered sheepishly, pushing past her co-worker to shut her closet. She never let anyone rummage through her clothes. It made her feel somewhat exposed. She looked at the two other girls standing awkwardly in her bedroom, quite in awe of her neat-as-–home-furniture –display bedroom. She never thought her personal domain would be so unusual to regular people, but obviously it was.

"But it's just that you have everything of the same color together!" Jessica gaped in astonishment even after the closet door had been shut.

"Jess, leave her alone," Angela Weber told her friend, already setting her makeup box on Bella's bed, ready to pick out what color eye shadow would look good with her pale complexion and dark hair.

"No," Bella ran over to the startled girl, automatically grabbing the makeup box, "Not on the bed please."

As her gaze shifted from the confused Jessica to the bewildered Angela to the questioning Lauren Mallory (Another friend of Jessica's who barely said one word upon entering Bella's house), Bella quickly checked herself.

_Don't act like a freak. Don't act like a freak._

She wondered if she even took her medication the night before, but her remembrance of the snap of the two pill bottles, holding the two small pieces in her hand, and finally washing them down with water told her she had. She sighed.

"Let's do my makeup in the bathroom," she suggested, awkwardly handing the huge box of cosmetics to its wide-eyed owner, "I'm just used to doing it over there."

Bella thought it was reasonable enough. She wasn't sure if people besides herself put on makeup in the bathroom. They had to, for she had seen girls in movies do it many times. Either the public bathrooms, which horrified Bella more than _The Texas Chainsaw Massacre _did, or in their homes. She glanced at the girls to see if her idea made them catch on to her secret. The looks on their faces eased Bella out of her fears. Little did she know that the three girls silently came to a conclusion to act as if the girl hadn't completely gone nuts and pretend nothing had happened.

"Wanna see the clothes I brought for you?" Jessica asked, quickly going over to the huge pink duffel bag she brought that Bella told her adamantly the minute she walked into the room to place on the massive chair facing the window.

"Sure."

Bella prayed that it wasn't anything slutty. Because the minute she saw the three girls enter her house confirming her fears of where they were going, he heart began to race and she immediately began to panic. Like Jessica said herself, she was wearing extremely tight, but shapely skinny jeans with a light green studded tube top that enhanced the nice swell of her chest. Bella was extremely jealous at Jessica's ability to fill out a shirt. She knew if she wore something like that she'd just look like a twelve-year old girl. Her friend Angela Weber wore tight fitting jeans as well, though not as tight as Jessica's, and the nice, satin, spaghetti strap top she wore was tasteful (which relieved Bella immensely). The only other thing that frightened her was Lauren's mini- dress, which only reached mid-thigh. She honestly believed that if the girl bent over, the crack would be visible to all. She hoped the girl at least wore underwear.

So it was in this mindset that Bella dared to look at the contents within the bag, feeling herself hyperventilate as Jessica reached inside and pulled out a pair of faded, light jeans. Bella let out a breath that she didn't know she was holding. They were rather nice. She wasn't going to look like a slut. Thank God.

"They're old," Jessica stated, handing them to a relieved Bella, "They don't fit me anymore but since you're skinnier than I am, I thought they'd fit."

Bella looked at the label, making sure it was a size one, while the smell of Downy detergent invaded her nose. It was fine, except that Jessica herself said they were…old, meaning she wore them, at least once.

"I can't wear this."

"Why not?" Jessica feigned a look of surprise, her eyes closely studying Bella's reactions. She was glad she brought the clothes, for watching this strange girl's horrified reaction was turning out to be the most entertaining part of the evening. She was glad she invited Bella Swan, for God knows she needed _something_ to occupy herself with in this boring town.

"I just…can't." There was no way in hell she would explain he disgust.

"If you're worried that they're not washed, they are. Extremely clean. I've only worn them once."

Yeah, that's the problem. She _wore_ them. Should she tell her the real reason? Or not?

Pros of telling the truth- not having to wear clothes already worn, which would save her from knowing the fabric was formerly clinging to someone else's body. Even looking at the now fuzzy –from-being-worn-look was making her squeamish.

Cons of telling the truth- Having her coworker and friends know she was a neat, psycho freak and take her refusal to wear such clothes as an insult.

But before Bella could make a clear decision, Jessica continued.

"And this is the only top I have that might fit," Jessica went on to say, reaching into the bag yet again and pulling out something that looked like a rag. It was shapeless in Jessica's hands and Bella had no idea where it ended or where it began.

"What's this?"

"It's a drapey top," Jessica gushed, holding it in front of Bella, stretching it out, "I only wore it once when I was thinner but just try it on."

Once she stretched out the fabric, Bella was able to see what the thing was supposed to look like and it was worse than being dragged across the dirt by Leatherface. It was draped, like Jessica said, but it was split down the middle, where it would show her bare stomach, and the top was backless, which meant that she couldn't wear a bra.

"Wha- No. I can't wear this."

"Yeah, you can. It looks totally hot. And you can totally pull it off 'cause you're skinny," Jessica insisted, ushering her co-worker into her bathroom.

"Jess, don't make the poor girl wear it if she doesn't want to," Angela interceded, making a valiant attempt to find something in Bella's closet that would eliminate the look of horror on her face, "Maybe we can find something in here…"

"I doubt it," Lauren finally spoke up from the corner of Bella's bed, eyeing her fingernails, "I could just look and tell that she doesn't have anything that's suitable."

Bella narrowed her eyes at the girl. She _really_ was beginning to dislike her.

"You don't mind trying the top and jeans on, do you?" Jessica inquired, failing to hide the disappointment she felt that her new friend didn't like something that she brought, that she recommended, no matter that she mostly did it with the intention of deciphering what made Bella Swan tick. It hurt her pride more than anything else.

Bella saw this and instantly felt ashamed at her rudeness. This was her one chance to make friends, to have a life, for she knew she shouldn't make her world revolve around one guy. She needed friends and she definitely didn't want to fuck this up. So she told herself not to think about the fact that she would be wearing clothes that have been used by another human body, that another body most likely had sweat in, went outside in. Her imagining the smell of sweat and the great outdoors was enough to cause the Caesar salad she had eaten for dinner to rise up to her throat.

It was then that Bella decided to take the advice of her new doctor, Dr. Jenkins, and think about something that makes you happy, just like Julie Andrews did in _The_ _Sound of Music_. But the problem was that happy thought before was of Jacob, which was why she decided to go out with these girls in the first place. Fuck. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts. What the fuck made her happy? She didn't know, but she had no further time to think as her hands reached out and wrapped her fingers around the flimsy piece of cloth. She then made her way into the bathroom.

"Fine," she replied, sighing.

Twenty…Twenty-one…Twenty-two. Once everything was in order, she took off her shirt and began struggling with it, wondering how the hell it was supposed to go, not thinking about its being worn. In fact, she began to imagine that it was brand new, something Jessica bought for her from a store from the goodness of her heart. It was so fucking unlikely but she had to make ups something to make what she was doing okay. She tried putting her arms though the various holes, with the front of the shirt falling at a crisscross from her left shoulder down to her right hip. She tried three times before she finally got it to look how Jessica showed her.

"What's taking so long?" an annoyed voice asked.

_.Shit. Leave me alone_. Bella kept on mentally cursing as she smoothed out the fabric, feeling so exposed that she couldn't even leave her bathroom. How the hell could she walk into a club like this? Her breasts were semi-exposed on the sides and her stomach was clearly visible.

"I can't wear this."

"Why not? I think you're the only one who can pull it off," Jessica exclaimed through the closed door.

"Why you say that?"

" 'Cause you have a smaller chest than I do."

Bella rolled her eyes. Great. Great. She damned her small breasts to hell. She kept thinking of the three girls waiting just outside the door, knowing she'd have to come out eventually. She then put on the jeans as well. But of course, since she knew how jeans were supposed to look on the body, it took her no time to button the top and zip up the pants. It felt constricting even though she was too skinny. She hated skinny jeans.

_It's okay, it's okay,_ she thought to herself, _it's only three girls. They'll tell you if you look horrible in it and then you won't have to go out in public like that, and you can wear something that you own, that only you have worn._

Once she opened the door, she saw three sets of eyes widen.

"Wow," Angela whispered.

Jessica grinned, feeling all-important, "I told you guys she's the only one who can look good in it. She doesn't have fat rolling on her sides like some people do. She has a flat tummy and the top drapes enough over the front that no one could tell that her boobs are too small."

Lauren could barely contain her laughter, while Angela gaped at the audacity of her friend, not quite believing that there was no filter in Jessica Stanley's head.

"I'm not wearing this shit," Bella stated, pissed at this girl who she let into her home when she _really _didn't want to, and who now thinks it is her right to criticize Bella to her face, as if she was just gonna take it. Fuck these idiots.

As Bella slammed the door, she could feel a rage that was dormant for so many months before suddenly resurface. She hated being made a fool of more than anything, and she hated criticism more than or just as much as filthiness. She was fine before. She had been fine for awhile, but now it was as if a canon had been let loose. It took the words of one stupid, ignorant co-worker to set her on the edge. Her hands trembled with rage as the tears of frustration trickled down her face.

She wanted those fuckers out of her house now. She needed to let her anger out. She wanted to throw something, anything; any of the twenty-two items would be good. Fuck it. She didn't need friends, especially friends like Jessica Stanley. Why couldn't Jacob have called her? Why? If he did, she would be hanging out with him right now, and he wouldn't be embarrassing her as bad as Jessica did, as well as make her wear used, slutty clothing. She felt cheap, like a whore. Jacob didn't make her feel that way. He probably lost interest in her, thought she was too boring and decided to go back to his hot, gorgeous, long-legged ex-girlfriend. It made sense. Why he would want a freaky, pill popping flat-chested, skinny girl was beyond her. He didn't even kiss her, only light kisses on her cheeks and forehead, like a father or big brother does to his daughter or little sister. She had been a fucking moron, reading too much into it. Fuck it. She didn't want to be a freak anymore, didn't want to think and act differently than anyone else.

Maybe Jessica was right.

As Bella looked at herself in the mirror, turning around to look at her new self from all sides, she could _slightly_ see it as being sexy. If only Jacob could see her wearing this, he'd probably kiss her the way she deserved to be kissed. The top was loose enough that parts of her body were barely touching the fabric. Good. That meant that parts of herself wouldn't be contaminated with germs from Jessica. But she did have to give the girl props for washing the top, for she loved the smell of Downy. It was her favorite detergent. She knew other people wore each other's clothing. Why couldn't she be like that?

She took a deep breath as she gazed at her reflection, watching the rise and fall of her chest as she let it all out, feeling the sudden fits of anger that just minutes ago seemed to consume her wash away, leaving her to figure out her next step using reasoning and logic rather than being driven by her sometimes erratic emotions.

She would just pretend she was normal. Again, other people wore each other's clothing. She could do the same. Her dark eyes flickered to the shower head, where drops of water were still falling from the shower she took only an hour ago. She bit her lip, thinking.

If she took another quick shower now, she could possibly be clean enough to wear the black drape-like…whatever thing. It was clean, that was for sure. But with her being extra clean. The fabric being used previously would cancel itself out. She didn't know if any of this was true for she'd never gotten herself in such a predicament. But at this moment, she had no other options. Until she went on her next visit to Dr. Jenkins and she would finally tell her that the medicine she was giving her wasn't working, she'd have to do her "crazy" shit to then act normal…if that even made fucking sense.

"Bella, we can find something else then," came Angela's calm voice through the shut door, "Just please come out."

Shame suddenly clouded Bella's desperation. She must've sounded like a complete bitch before. That was always the problem when she'd let her temper get the better of her.

"I'll be out soon," she responded, making the hasty decision of taking a quick shower.

She wished that the faucet wasn't always so fucking loud so her guests wouldn't even notice what she was doing. Wishful fucking thinking.

She closed her eyes shut as she turned the knob to hot, hearing the pounding of the water hit the floor of the tub; pretty sure everyone in the house knew she was going to bather herself, for the water pipes were pretty fucking loud in her house. That was one bad thing about Charlie Swan's place. The plumbing was so loud kept on clanging so much that Bella wouldn't be surprised if the pipes were in existence in the eighteen hundreds.

Just as she was about to take the flimsy material off her body, the door opened a crack, with Angela immediately entering and closing the door behind her.

"Bella- OH MY GOD!" Angela quickly turned away from her topless host, placing one hand on the side of her face as if blocking herself from view, "Didn't know you were still changing," she then noticed the river of water falling into Bella's tub, finally aware of what she was doing, "You hadn't taken a shower yet?"

Bella's eyes widened. _Perfect _excuse_._

"No, I haven't."

Bella looked down at herself, not even remembering when she had grabbed the damned black material and used it to cover her bare breasts.

"Well," Angela began, still covering the side of her face with her hand, "You should make it quick. Jessica wants to get there a little early so we can get there free before twelve."

"Okay," Bella replied just as Angela slammed the door behind her, her voice not above a low hum as she was obviously relating the incident to the others in the group.

Oh. Fuck.

Bella knew she took long showers. She knew because her father told her, various times. How the hell was she going to take a shower in a reasonable timeframe that would satisfy these girls? What was considered normal? Thirty minutes? She wished she had a waterproof watch or something. Fuck. She'd have to put a clock in her bathroom for the future, in case incidents such as these would ever occur again.

As she felt the hot water hit her bare back, she kept counting the seconds, lavishly washing herself but devoid of her usual enjoyment of the activity. From her calculations, ten minutes had passed. Should she stop? She didn't feel clean enough though. But the thought of making these girls wait any longer was plaguing her, and washing herself for at least a few minutes was better than nothing. But she couldn't bring herself to leave. The warm water was calling to her, begging her to stay, telling her she wasn't clean enough. She needed to scrub everything out, prepare herself for whatever awaited her.

Once she felt completely cleaned, she stepped out of the shower, quickly getting dressed. The mirrors were foggy, as they always were, and she instinctively wiped the mirror with her hand.

"Man, you take long showers," Angela commented as Bella opened the door, wearing the now-hated drape-like top as well as the too tight jeans.

"Jesus, Bella" Jessica complained, huffing as she pushed Bella into the bathroom once again, makeup- bag in one hand, "You should've told us before, 'cause now we gotta really hurry if we're gonna get there on time."

She quickly opened the bag, taking out various assortments of foundation, eye shadows, and the like.

"Don't say anything," Jessica warned her as she dipped her fingers into a face moisturizer, "I'm good at doing makeup. You'll see."

Just as the impatient girl was going to place a bare finger on Bella's face, Bella turned her head away.

"I can put on moisturizer myself."

Jessica raised one eyebrow. "Fine, but let me do your makeup."

Bella eyed the products, noting that Jessica had a brush for every application imaginable.

"Are these brand new," she asked, inclining her head towards the line of brushes.

"No, they're mine."

"Can we use mine, then?"

Jessica's eyes roamed Bella speculatively, much like the way she looked at her in the lunchroom, as if she was trying to figure out something, look into her.

"Okay."

Jessica watched Bella closely, her eyes traveling as Bella bent down to take out her very neat, clean, very pink, makeup case from the bottom of the sink, lightly placing it on the counter and opening its contents.

Her companion wasn't surprised to find that the girl's brushes were without one blemish, and it was as if it all were just bought from a store, for the brushes were still organized by size and each of the eye shadows were brand new, as if barely used.

"You don't wear makeup a lot?" Jessica assumed, her eyebrow slightly raised.

"I do." Bella gritted her teeth as she herself applied her usual foundation. She knew where Jessica's mind was heading.

"I do, I just like having everything neat and brand new."

"Ah, but at least let me apply it with your brushes, since I see you don't have such intense eye shadows for going out."

Bella thought about it for a moment. Jessica's hands wouldn't be all over her face; therefore she wouldn't be accumulating any of her germs. She would be using her own clean brushes. Fine. Whatever.

"Yeah, sure."

Bella closed her eyes just as Jessica dipped Bella's brush into a rather bluish eye shadow.

* * *

The drive to the Glass House was cramped, noisy, and extremely uncomfortable, especially after the girls witnessed her "closing door ritual" which she was slyly trying to hide but nosy Jessica Stanley _had_ to ask what the hell she was doing. To this moment, Bella had no idea what her response was, which meant that it was the usual dribble she'd mumble to whoever caught her doing something strange and inhuman. But nothing embarrassed her more than the look of confusion on Angela and Jessica's faces, as well as a suppressed snort from Lauren, when Bella put on black gloves to match her Greek-like top.

"Uh, why you wearing that?" Jessica braved enough to ask, almost succumbing to breaking into fits of laughter just like her buddy Lauren.

"Yeah, why?" Bella inquired icily. If there was one thing she wasn't going to do was take off her gloves. No, that would be the last straw. She could deal with wearing makeup that made her look like a clown but going anywhere without her gloves was another thing.

"You don't wear gloves to a club."

"Well I do."

Jessica opened her mouth and shut it once she noted the steely look in Bella's chocolate brown eyes.

The subject was immediately dropped, non-negotiable.

Once inside her car, Bella was ecstatic to find that it was surprisingly neat, with the seats smelling like new leather and barely any crumbs or dust. She noticed there was a line of it on the dashboard though, but it was enough to make Bella overlook it for a few minutes. For she felt confident that after surviving being in Jacob Black's car, she could sit through _anything._ Unlike the disarray of various articles of clothing and paper, plus and any other assortments of things that normally wouldn't belong in a car on a permanent basis, Jessica barely had anything lying about. It almost rivaled Bella's in neatness…almost. She did her counting ritual mentally, loving the fact that there were four people in total, which made the rest of the process of counting everything within the vehicle _that _simpler. The clutched her black handbag tight, holding it on her lap pressed against her chest.

Cold air from the air vents near the backseat of Jessica's car hit Bella's bare stomach as the car whizzed on down the highway. The girls talked about trivial things, most of them being inside jokes that Bella wasn't a part of, which made her slightly uncomfortable. She didn't want to seem as if she knew she was being left out, so she forced a smile on her face and tried paying attention to what they were saying. She didn't believe that her fake confidence was working, but she had to try anyways.

Once they got off exit eleven, the club (or what was really an oversized building that resembled a superstore more than anything) parking lot was packed. Bella even saw thirteen cars parked on grass just next to the closed lot. Jessica immediately drove in that direction.

"Jess, you can't park there anymore," said Lauren, who looked idly out the passenger seat window.

"Yeah, but no one gets towed."

"Liz got towed."

"But that's just because Liz is a dumbass who parallel parked right in back of a Jeep," Jessica retorted, putting the car in _PARK_ as she quickly pulled the key from the ignition and got off the car.

Bella could only sigh. How it was so easy for some people to just get out of their car and walk away, without any preparation, without any thought of making sure there was no wrinkle or crease in sight, without making sure the vehicle itself was in tip-top shape before heading out, was beyond her. Jacob doesn't do it, and neither does Jessica Stanley. She really was a freak. Bella on the other hand, smoothed out the flares of her jeans, for she obviously wore no socks, and her toes felt squashed within the tight straps covering her feet. She hadn't worn stilettos since her Cousin Sarah's wedding, and she near died at the end of the night when she released her swollen, red toes and had to spend the entire night barely able to walk. She predicted a similar case would occur when she got home later that night.

The three girls obviously expected to wait a long time, for Lauren was quick to comment on it as the four of them trudged through the grass, minding to avoid various small-sized rocks.

"Shit, tonight's dead."

Angela and Jessica failed to comment as they got closer to the building, where they were soon met with a tall, beefy guy wearing an extremely tight, black shirt with black slacks. The bouncer. The few times Bella had ever been into a club she always noted how rude and intimidating the somewhat "club guard" always looked. But this guy was different. He greeted the four of them with a warm smile as well as displaying a sense of familiarity with them.

"Hey ladies haven't seen you in awhile. Where you been?" His voice was deep and very…manly, just like the rest of him.

"Around," Jessica replied, her voice rising two octaves as she batted her eyelashes twenty bats per second.

The bouncer turned his attention to the newcomer. "And who's your friend?"

"Isabella Swan. She works with me."

"Ah," he replied, nodding in her direction, his eyes flickering to her gloved hands, not even asking them for their driver's licenses as he snapped the cord that was attached to the silver railing and let the four of them pass " Emmett. Nice to meet ya."

"Nice to meet you too," Bella replied, unable to contain the smile that spread across her face. His energy was contagious. As she followed her party into the building, she snuck a glance at Emmett, who was greeting another group of four who were trying t enter the club. It was strange to feel so comfortable with someone who looked as if he could crush her tiny frame at any moment. She came to the conclusion that Emmett was one of those rare people that no matter what mood you were in or if you were naturally awkward around people you've never met before, he could make you feel extremely comfortable, and could "turn your frown upside down". She already felt a little better venturing into the unknown just by feeding off his friendly energy. He reminded her a bit of Jacob. But she mentally shook herself. Jacob Black would have no room in her thoughts that night. No. This night was going to be about Bella Swan and her strive for normalcy, and Goddammit, she would find it.

But once she was fully inside the dark, extremely loud, people- infested place, all of the good vibes from Emmett the bouncer went out the window as the strong, pungent smell of cigarettes filled her nostrils. Before she could even think of what this odor could mean to her just newly bathed body, a thin, tall, dark-haired boy past by her, almost knocking her down, and turned to her, blowing a puff of smoke in her face.

Bella coughed her eyes almost bugging out of her sockets as she felt the smoke inside her mouth.

"You okay?" Angela said in her ear, tapping her hard on the back.

Bella felt rather than knew her face was bright red, for she could feel the heat surrounding her nose and throat.

She leaned into Angela, whispering in her ear, "Fine."

Angela only nodded at her, and led her deeper into the discotheque. The entrance hall was separated by three rooms, one on each side and one in the middle. The four of them went down the middle, and Bella saw that the entire room was covered by glass, even the floor was glass. This was a major hazard, anyone could get hurt. Some drunken idiot could slam into the glass and shards would go flying everywhere, eventually scraping someone in the head or face and pools of blood would gush out of their ears and skull. Or at least, those were the images that flashed through Bella's mind as she was led to the far right corner of the room, where the bar was located.

Too many people. The girls were constantly being bombarded by drunk, giggling girls, people who almost spilled their drinks onto Bella's slutty tunic, which made her almost hyperventilate.

There were too many things to keep track of, too many people, too many faces. It was her worst nightmare. Everything was beyond her control. She had no idea how many people were in the room. Every time she tried to count, someone new would almost crash into her, and more bodies would flood her vision, making her start over again. She was dying inside. The room was spinning out of control, her breathing became labored. She tried to find something, anything that would prevent her from collapsing on the spot. The smell was driving her insane, the intensely loud beating of the bass was pounding in her ears, and it took her awhile to steady herself as her gloved hand finally made contact with the hard edge of the side bar, squeezing her way in between two bodies. She leaned against the counter, catching her breath. She needed to get out. Tears of frustration threatened to cascade down her cheeks. She mentally cursed herself, willing them back in. What a pathetic loser she was, crying in a club. She looked at everyone's laughing faces, drunk-happy looks, and in the opposite corner of the room, a group of girls dressed in glittery dresses were all dancing together in a group somewhat provocatively, with three men behind them staring at their backsides. Bella saw how much fun they were having, how carefree they all were, how neither of them had to be so concerned with others around them, how none of them depended so much on their surroundings to be able to function. For she couldn't function. A black hole was opening up within the ground, wanting to swallow her whole. She didn't fit with any of these people. She didn't feel comfortable around anyone, and though she knew it was ridiculous, she felt as if all eyes were on her, watching to see if she would mess up, make a fool of herself.

She looked around her, people amongst people kept bombarding her, and she kept pushing her way though them, trying to find the group of girls that she had somehow lost.

An arm bumped hard against her shoulder, making Bella turn to face her assailant. A beautiful, tall, blonde-haired goddess furrowed her perfectly plucked eyebrows at the petite brunette, her nose upturned in annoyance.

"Watch where you're going," she yelled in Bella's ear.

The shocked girl felt the heat now rush to her ears. A rush of emotions over flooded her- hurt, pain, anger, with anger being the most dominant one at the moment.

She barely thought about it before leaning close to the blonde bombshell, yelling in her ear as well.

"You're the one who bumped into me."

The model-like woman stepped to her side as a hand touched her shoulder, and a short, cute girl with a very funky pixie hair cut looked at her friend and then at Bella, raising a quizzical eye.

Bella saw the two girls lean over to each other and quickly exchange words before the blonde girl moved past her friend to the bar, trying to get the bartender's attention, which wasn't such a difficult feat for her.

The pixie girl took one look at Bella, noting her heavy breathing, the frantic look in her eyes as her gaze roamed the room and immediately was by her side.

"You okay?" she yelled.

"No." She didn't have the strength to lie. She needed to get out of there, for she knew another attack was close at hand.

Without saying another word, the pixie- haired girl grabbed Bella's right arm, steadying her just as she felt herself beginning to slip with her damn stiletto heels.

"I'm taking you to the bathroom," the girl told her, leading her out of the main room, bumping into more bodies until Bella felt that they made their way to the main hall. The girl took an immediate right, where Bella felt herself being pushed into a small room amongst girls crowding by the bathroom counter, others standing in line waiting to use one of the three stalls in the restroom. Graffiti was written around some parts of the wall, with dust accumulating everywhere, and the doors of two of the three stalls were missing some of its hinges. Disgusting. Bella swore she saw a roach crawling along the walls, but it also could've been her imagination. She was going insane.

"We have to cut through. She's gonna throw up!" The petite brunette exclaimed as she dragged Bella into the last stall just as its previous occupant was coming out.

"Hey, you can't just cut the fucking line like that!" A deep, throaty voice yelled.

"You want her throwing up on your nice shoes?" the pixie exclaimed, smiling at the enraged woman sweetly. But before she could even get a response, the girl ushered Bella and herself into the stall, half closing the door behind them.

Bella automatically leaned against the wall of the stall. She knew the wall was probably infested with germs, but she needed to steady herself, sort out her thoughts. She so desperately wanted to call her Dad, tell him to pick her up. But she didn't want to look like a failure in his eyes, though she already thought she was one herself. It finally hit her how desperately she needed help. She wasn't normal. She didn't like clubs, never did. And she had no idea why she told herself she'd like it, or that she'd even have fun. She had no idea who the nice brunette girl was, but she was grateful and embarrassed that she had to help her.

"I don't need to throw up," she pointed out.

"I know. Just needed an excuse to get you in here. Do you need a moment to calm yourself down or you want me to get whoever you came here with?" the girl asked nervously, taking in how labored Bella's breathing was and how tightly her eyes were shut.

"Yeah, I just need a minute to myself," Bella put up her gloved hands to her white, pallid face, hoping that by making a forced, physical contact she could calm the turbulent emotions running through her mind and body. As a result, her small handbag fell to the ground. Fucking shit. Now that shit had to be thrown away too.

"Here," her companion said, picking the clutch up and handing it to her. But Bella just felt like lying on her bed. She wanted to be in her room right now, where everything was comfortable and safe. The people, the filthiness, and the smell were making her feel nauseous. Her world was spinning around her, and her mind was too clouded to focus on anything specific. She was so frustrated that she could cry. She was confined. She had no car, her companions were nowhere to be found, and all she wanted was her Dad to pick her up.

"Dad," she said, wanting so badly to lie down but knowing she'd go into cardiac arrest if she so much as touched the grime infested floor, with half the stall being wet with bits of toilet paper scattered among the water.

'You want me to call your dad?" the girl asked.

Bella could only nod.

Her savior went through Bella's purse and located her phone.

"You have a text."

"You can answer it. It's probably my Dad. Can you please ask him if he can pick me up?"

Bella's hands began to shake. She'd tell this girl once she finished contacting Charlie to take her outside. Maybe let her chat with Emmett the bouncer for a bit. He was happy enough. She needed his energy.

_Hi. How you doing tonight?_

The pixie girl quickly typed a response she deemed appropriate for a parent.

_I'm not doing so great. Can you pick me up?_

The girl wasn't surprised when not even three seconds later she got a response. Parents.

_What happened? Where r u?_

She had no idea if this girl's parents even knew she was at a club. Though the girl was a bit on the scrawny side, she looked like an adult. During a moment when Bella had her eyes closed, she took a minute to look through her wallet, and saw that she was twenty-five. Wow. There was something seriously wrong with her if she's asking to call her parents.

"You sure you don't want me to call an ambulance or something?"

"No!"

_I'm at the Glass House. I can't find my friends._

She quickly made the last part up, assuming this thin fragile girl in front of her didn't come alone.

A minute passed. Three minutes. Bella wasn't hyperventilating as bad but she was still agitated.

"Bella?" the girl asked, remembering her name from her driver's license.

"Yes?" She was beginning to come to herself, everything around her becoming less blurry. She was becoming aware of all surroundings again, as if she just put on a fresh pair of glasses, taking in all the details she missed before. Her anxiety was beginning to slip away, until she noted the fading of paint on the walls and she felt she was trapped all over again.

"You feeling better?"

"Is my father coming?"

"I think so. My name's Alice, by the way."

Bella nodded; still concentrating on the fact that she was stuck in a place she didn't want to be.

Finally. A Message.

_That's a club, right?_

Alice sighed. Parents were so clueless.

_Yeah._

She immediately typed the address and put the phone in the bag, not bothering to wait for his response.

"Bella, it's done. Your Dad's on his way."

"I want to go outside and wait."

Alice immediately nodded, grabbing the girl's arm and dragging her out of the shithole that was the bathroom.

"I can wait outside with you if you want. My brother's the bouncer, he's really sweet and he'll stay with us until your ride comes."

Alice wondered to herself what kind of a grown woman still needed her father to pick her up. She knew there was something mentally wrong with her, which was the reason why she stayed with her as long as she did. There was something that drew her to specifically needy people. That and her intuitiveness about people. She already knew just by looking at the girl and noting how she took her surroundings as well as her unnecessarily gloved hands that she was an extreme germaphobe, which more or less explained her anxiety. _The Glass House_ wasn't necessarily the cleanest club, and she wondered who in their right mind would think of bringing a girl like this here? She prayed for the day when Emmett would quit working here and start his own business. The only reason she came here was because of the free drinks.

"Hey,' she said to her brother just as he allowed a party of eight to enter the club, "You gotta stop letting people in for free. You're gonna get fired."

"Don't care," he said, shrugging his shoulders, "Gonna be outta here soon anyway."

"I'm waiting here with this girl for her ride to pick her up. She's not feeling well."

She inclined her head towards Bella, who was beginning to get color back into her cheeks with the fresh air.

Bella then knew she must have been really sick if she was glad to get some _fresh_ air.

"Oh," Emmett responded, taking in Bella, "Bella Swan."

"You know her?"

"Yeah, just met her."

Alice shook her head. "God, you meet everyone quick."

"Hey, it's part of the job."

During this small exchange between the two siblings, Bella had enough of her sense back to look at her calls. She then clicked on the text messages, and found a correspondence between Alice and who she thought was her father, only it wasn't.

_I'll get there as soon as I can. It'll probably take me awhile from the rez, but I'll be there. I'm a sucker for helping a damsel in distress._

Bella stared at the screen for another few seconds, and then finally shifted her gaze to her attire, and nearly hyperventilated all over again.

* * *

A/N: I know a lot of you guys expected Leah or Jacob to be at the club, but this is a club in Forks, and Jacob said to Bella before that they rarely go out to the local hangouts in Forks. But don't worry, there's more Leah to come. She's not gone!


	10. Chapter 10 The Odd Occurrence

_** I want to thank everyone again for reviewing, favoriting, and alerting this story. It means so much to me and is truly rewarding. In answer to a common question: I do know people with OCD. They are people I'm close to and I witness their quirks every day. They have no idea I'm writing this and I don't think I'd want them to know. It was an idea that started from that and the story seemed to build from there. So I'm telling you that a lot that Bella is feeling and how she deals with the world and stress is how some people deal with it as well. Theere are many types of OCD and not everyone has the same habits. I've just taken some and put them together. End of speal. LOL Happy Reading!**_

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Chapter 10. The Odd Occurrence

Shit. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Shit. Fuck.

Those were the only words racing through Bella's mind as she stared at the screen on her telephone. She didn't even have to try to see it all from his perspective. A girl he's only been on one date with asks him only two days later to pick her up at a club because she's not feeling well.

If she was him, she would seriously think she was desperate, and that it was all a show to get him to see her. Fucking pathetic.

Without thinking about it, she quickly typed in a reply.

_You don't have to pick me up. My friend texted you thinking it was my Dad. Don't trouble yourself._

Bella finally focused her attention on her surroundings, seeing the girl Alice talking with the bouncer, Emmett.

"Alice?"

"Yeah? You talked to your Dad?" she questioned, coming closer to the poor girl, wanting to be absolutely sure the girl was okay before she went back into the club.

Bella wasn't sure if she should bother this stranger with her new predicament. But as she took in Alice's bright, yet concerned gaze and felt gratitude. Before today, she never felt a true, indescribable connection with any other female. It was the kind of feeling that she'd heard of before; the only word she could call it was a "kindred spirit". She was in awe of the girl's attire, for she was wearing nice, dark denim, slim jeans, and a nice, flowery off-white top. She smelled of roses and her face was so freshly clean it was as if she just walked out of a Noxzema commercial. Her nails were perfectly manicured and there was not a wrinkle on any of her clothes. She looked so perfect looking and so…kempt that Bella herself felt dirty and unclean in her presence. She randomly wondered what her room looked like, probably impeccable. Her room probably looked like hers- not a thing out of place, everything arranged in some kind of order, and the aroma of sweet, bath soap awakening the olfactory senses. Confections of pastels would adorn the room, though Bella came to the conclusion just by glancing at the strange yet punky hairstyle standing atop Alice's angelic face, that the girl's room was a lot edgier than Bella's, which made her a bit envious.

Yeah, she would tell her the truth.

"That wasn't my Dad. I think you answered to this guy I know."

Alice nodded her head, her eyes widening, as if encouraging Bella to continue. "So is he gonna pick you up?"

"Uh…" Shit. She didn't want to tell her no. She didn't want to worry this Godsend from above who saved her from having a serious epileptic seizure from the monstrosities of the gigantic building.

"Yeah…yeah he is."

Bella hated lying to her. A part of her hoped Jacob would insist on picking her up, despite her message.

She heard rather than felt something vibrate in her purse.

_I'm already on my way._

She sighed, closing her eyes. She never thought she'd be both relieved and dreading this news at the same time, but she was.

"Hey," Alice said, bringing Bella's focus back to her companion, "I'm gonna have to go inside to check on my friend. You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah," Bella nodded, stuffing the rather large electronic device back in her bag, "I'll be fine. Besides, I have your brother to watch me, right?"

"Well," Alice laughed, glancing at her bulky mass of a brother who was chatting with a group of well-dressed guys who were already trying to scope out the various ladies entering and leaving the nightclub, "He's probably too busy doing his job," she emphasized loudly enough so her sibling could hear, "Which he should be doing considering he might get fired soon."

Emmett turned to his bothersome sister, smiling sweetly at her, "No one's gonna be losing their job, sis. If you wanna harp about someone not having a job go talk to Ed about it."

Alice shook her head, sighing. "That's my big brother for ya."

"I wish I had siblings."

"Trust me. You don't."

An awkward pause suddenly passed between the two girls. Neither one not knowing what else to say. Bella was never a good conversation starter to begin with, always feeling that whatever she said was idiotic or uninteresting, so she only hoped that Alice didn't think she was stuck-up.

"I gotta go," Alice finally said, breaking the silence, "I'll check to see that your ride comes."

And with that, the girl who took it upon herself to save a complete stranger from the fiery pits of hell left, leaving an unexplainable void in Bella's heart. The warm and friendly blanket protecting her from harm and exposure was suddenly lifted, making her feel cold and empty, and visible to passerby. She imagined them all staring at her, whispering to each other about her. About a poor, idiotic girl who tried to play dress- up in her Mommy's clothes, adorning her tiny, thin frame with Mommy's grown up dress and was caught wearing Mommy's lipstick, immersing herself deeper in the façade she was creating for herself. She didn't belong there. She knew that, and everyone else knew that as well. Who was she kidding?

As she imagined eyes wandering in her direction, whispers filtered the air, resonating in her ears, the familiar feeling of someone punching her in the stomach, taking the breath out of her, quickly returned with Alice's departure. She began to count everything in sight, trying once again to take control of her uncontrollable emotions, praying for Jacob to get her the fuck out of there.

Bella kept on checking her phone for the time, her eyes glued to the glowing screen as the numbers kept changing, the seconds seeming like minutes, the minutes seeming like hours, until she realized she was taking deep breaths.

Breathe in. Breathe out. The rise and fall of her chest soothed her, calmed her. If she just concentrated on that, just focused on that very internal, very contained action, she could block out the chaos around her. Nothing added up right. Odd numbers were everywhere, twenty-three people including herself. Taking away three still didn't solve anything, for five more infinitely followed, replacing the other three. She needed someone like Alice or her brother Emmett around her, just to keep her sane, calm her with their energy, positivity, and air of confidence. But Alice deserted her, and Emmett was busy denying or allowing entrance to the now throng of people trying to get in before the clock struck eleven. She now needed Jacob to get here more than anything.

"Bella, where the hell were you?" a very familiar but unwanted voice broke through her internal concentration, bringing her back to the external occurrences around her.

Jessica gazed at her questioningly, and with her stood Angela, who looked considerably uncomfortable. But Bella sensed that her discomfort stemmed from genuine concern for her. Unlike her friend, who could only scoff and tap her foot impatiently as she waited for Bella to respond to her inquiry, to give her a reason for bailing out on them without warning and deeming it impossible to try to even enjoy herself. Jessica was positively certain now that Bella was mentally disturbed. The weird closet, her insistence on not wearing other people's freshly washed clothes, her gloves, and now her randomly leaving them inside the main room and waiting outside was enough to prove her suspicions- the girl was a closet case and Jessica didn't ever want to hang out with her again. From now on, she would just observe her from the confines of work, without having to drag this freak in to her personal life.

"I don't feel good," Bella replied weakly, making a valiant attempt to act sicker than she really was. It was better for them to think she was physically, "fever" ill rather than mentally. But at this point, she had no idea which one was it, she suffered from both for all she knew.

"How you gonna get home?" Jessica asked monotonously. It wasn't lost on Bella that she didn't even offer a ride, to which Angela quickly covered for her.

"You need us to take you home?"

"No," Bella smiled sweetly at the concerned girl, "I got a ride. I'm just waiting for him."

"Him?" Jessica inquired, unable to hide the inquisitiveness in her tone.

"Yeah, a…friend of mine."

Jessica quirked an eyebrow, looking over the frail girl from head to toe.

"A friend?"

"Yeah," Bella replied somewhat icily. She was beginning to dislike Jessica rather strongly, and was becoming aware of the girl's meddling nature. She had too many secrets for someone to be deliberately poking their head where it did not belong.

Honk. Honk. Honk.

Bella froze, her heart speeding up. That powerful organ pounded furiously within her chest, physically reminding her how this man affected her. Blood immediately rushed to her cheeks, the glow she felt rather than saw was warm, causing a radiant, vibrating feeling to pulse within her body, alerting her, making her forget for only a slight second of all that formerly plagued her. It didn't matter that she previously told herself she wouldn't think about him anymore. It didn't matter that he wasn't sexually attracted to her. It didn't matter that he hadn't called her in two days. His warmth, the way he made her feel, the way she knew that he would make her feel comfortable and safe was the only thing that mattered at that moment.

She turned and saw Jacob Black's jalopy of a rabbit waiting right at the middle of the parking lot, and without thinking about it, her feet led her over there, her thin heels digging deeply on the cement, further causing pain to her toes.

"Bye Bella," the nasty stain that wouldn't scrub off called Jessica Stanley called out, but her eyes were fully focused on Jacob Black.

Bella didn't answer, for her eyes were locked with Jacob's, who was leaning against the passenger side of his car, one eyebrow raised as he took in Bella's outfit.

Shit. She forgot she looked like a slut. Her shoulders automatically slumped, as if they had a mind of their own to cover her exposed tummy. The look on his face was unreadable, without saying a word he opened the passenger door, ushering her in with his large, warm hand.

"Hey, Hey!" A shrill, girly voice called to her.

Her tiny savior Alice skipped up to the car and took one look at Jacob, grinning.

"So you're her friend."

"Her friend? That's what she told you?" he smiled at the girl now biting her lip in embarrassment, winking at her.

Bella's spirits lifted. He wasn't annoyed. He wasn't disgusted by her attire…at least so far.

"Yeah." Alice wasn't going to inquire further. It really wasn't her business and she only wanted to make sure this poor girl was going home safely. Eyeing the girl's two companions was another thing though. The one who called out to her looked so unconcerned that it disgusted her. Her dark-haired acquaintance was the only one displaying a sense of guilt that Bella had to call someone else besides them to pick her up. Alice wondered how close the three girls were and what kind of friends they were to care so little about their companion. But again, that really wasn't any of her business. The tall, handsome, Indian guy looked concerned enough. The way he touched her covered hand, helping her into the car, the gentle hum of his whispering in her ear was enough to confirm to her that her job was done. She helped this girl as much as she could and she was only glad and relieved that he was taking her off her hands. For her brother's girlfriend was waiting for her in the club, pissed and annoyed that she decided to play the savior again and help someone in need. But Rosalie should know already that was part of the package of being friends with Alice Cullen. If someone is hurting or needs help, there she is, like Superman. She didn't give a damn how annoyed her sometimes shallow, selfish friend who she'd grown to care for could be. She liked helping people, and the satisfaction and accomplishment she felt in seeing this formerly petrified, tiny, ghostly pale girl now calm, smiling a tiny smile was enough to brighten her night. It was a great satisfaction indeed, and one she wouldn't trade for the world.

"Hope you feel better, Bella," she called out to her.

A genuine look of thankfulness crossed Bella's serene face, her chocolate brown eyes twinkling.

"Thank you, Alice. Sorry I was such a bother, really."

"No, you weren't. It was no problem."

And with that, Jacob and Bella sped off in his rabbit, with Bella having a clear vision of Jessica's jealous expression and Angela's worried, remorseful face. To hell with them, she would never go out with them again. It didn't matter to her; she would be a hermit for the rest of her life.

The night's events were exhausting to her mind as well as her body. That Glass House was the worst place she'd ever been to. No control whatsoever. The smell of smoke still lingered in her nostrils. Disgusting. She had to forget that pungent odor, forget those memories and those feelings, for once Alice left they were still at the surface. So she quickly turned her attention to her other savior, Jacob, in hopes that like his arrival had calmed her considerably, he would be able to do the same while she was in his vehicle.

"You're friend seemed nice," Jacob began, not sure how to begin asking all the questions he was dying to have answered.

"She's not really my friend, "Bella responded absentmindedly, automatically counting all the random objects in his car, lowering her head to smooth out her jeans in replacement of socks that weren't there, "She helped me when I was feeling bad."

"Wait, so you didn't go with her?"

"No."

"Who did you go with then?"

Forty. Forty one. Forty two. Three empty water bottles on the floor. Forty-five. Okay, exclude those since they're useless and no liquid is inside of them. Forty-two. Forty-two. Even number. But there were still so many items unaccounted for. Why couldn't Jacob just throw away some of his unused shit?

Okay, how did she count this before? How did she make everything alright? She racked her brain but nothing came to mind. No memory rushed itself to the surface. Not even an inkling of a number, a possible pair of objects she could group together. Nothing. It was as if her recent attack at the Glass House was enough for her to lose her ability to control everything around her. She was slipping again. Focus on Jacob. Focus on his smile, his radiance. Focus on the happiness you felt when you first saw him. Focus on that.

"What?" She knew he asked her something, but fuck if she could remember what it was.

"Who did you go with then?" Jacob eyed her curiously, as if she was a scientific specimen that needed to be classified, put a label on, identified, similar to how Jessica looked at her, but without the obvious disdain.

"Jessica Stanley and Angela Weber, and some other random girl."

Bella gazed into his eyes. The warm feeling slowly began to return. She tried with all her might to hold on to it. Don't look anywhere else. Not at his wrinkled shirt or the infinitesimal dark spot on the cotton material close to his left shoulder. Don't look. Don't look.

But it was fruitless, for once she spotted it. She couldn't look away. It was like a mosquito or a bug-- annoying, ugly, and would not go away. The kind that you tried to crush with your hands, hoping the fluttering, buzzing, monstrous thing was inside your palm so you could squash the living shit out of it and rejoice in the fact that its gooey substance was oozing from its lifeless body, with only its broken wings fluttering slowly, slowly, the only reminder of it having life. Jacob's stain was those kinds that couldn't be easily taken away by putting it through the wash. It had to have been marinara sauce, something pasta-ish. Red sauce was the worse.

"The two girls looking at us," Jacob inquired, obviously oblivious to Bella's discomfort.

"Yeah."

"Damn, what horrible friends huh?"

" They're not really my friends. Just co-workers." The stain was looking at her, mocking her, laughing at her inability to obliterate it. It was like a battle of wills. Her brain began to get fuzzy, as if someone turned off the switch that allowed her to focus, and kept her sane. She could have sworn at that moment that blob of shit was sticking its tongue out at her. She couldn't take it anymore. She was stuck in a nightmare where she knew she was dreaming but for some reason couldn't wake up. She was stuck, and the only reality she longed for was in the comforts of her home.

"Bella, you okay?" A far-away voice asked. She felt hands on her shoulders, steadying her. The warmth was enough to turn the switch on momentarily, her eyes focusing again on Jacob's.

"Jacob," she breathed, leaning towards him, "Please take me home."

"I'm doing just that. But, Bella. I have to ask. What happened?"

She didn't even want to think about it. She needed to take her mind off of it. Thinking about it was the sure way of turning the switch off. No, change the subject. Change the subject. Talk about something mundane.

"Why didn't you call me?" Fuck. Yeah, Bella. Very mundane.

"What?" Jacob raised his eyebrow quizzically, whipping his head straight ahead, eyes on the road.

"You didn't call. It's been two days. Jessica told me you were trying to test me, see if I cared that you didn't call."

Jacob had the nerve to laugh. "And you listen to this Jessica? Even though you say she's not your friend?"

"She was at the time," Bella's thoughts were far-away, her only concern was to stop thinking of the mess around her, keep calm, "Don't know if I believe her."

"Well, don't, "he turned to her, his eyebrows furrowed, "I don't know what to say. I thought you probably had plans this weekend, "he eyed her Greek-style top, "and I see that I was right."

There was a long pause. Bella took that short time to recollect her thoughts, and it was only then that the error of her question truly slapped her in the face. Fuck. She looked so fucking desperate. Shit. That was it; this guy would never call her again. She was one hundred percent sure of it.

"Bella, I have to ask."

_Fuck, here it comes._

"Did you go out with these girls because you were pissed at me?"

_Yep, there it was._

"No," she lied, "They wanted me to go since I just moved here and I thought I should become good friends with my co-workers."

That was half the truth anyway.

"So what happened? Why you feel so bad that you had to call me? Or, as you say, wanted to call your Dad?"

Fuck. She couldn't avoid the question.

"I don't wanna talk about it. Please," she begged her voice cracking. She tried not to focus on her embarrassment about the evening, or the fact that Jacob's car was as repulsing to her as the Glass House. How the hell did she deal with this on her date with him?

"Okay, Okay," Jacob assured her, covering her already covered hand with his own while the other one still steered the wheel, "But I have to ask. Do you feel sick because of me?"

"No," she answered vehemently, images of the throngs of bodies smashing into her and the puff of smoke blown in her face crashed in her mind like a tidal wave. No, that she could be sure of.

"Okay, okay," he soothed her again, his index finger moving up and down over the thick material, "You never take off these gloves, do you?"

"No, I don't."

"Wish you did, though," he whispered.

"Why?" She was glad they were getting off the subject that so desperately plagued her.

"Because I want to know what your hands look like," he began, cocking his head to her for a few seconds before turning his attention once again on the road, "You know you take for granted things you'd normally see every day, things that on others are always visible. Hands being one of them. I never realized before how beautiful, how personal someone's hands could be. I feel as if it's something a part of you that you keep hidden. And I don't know why. That's one of the things I concentrated on when we went out on Thursday. I dreamed afterwards what they'd look like. And that's fucking weird. Guys usually dream about …other things," and here he smiled sheepishly at her, shrugging his shoulders, "I'm not gonna lie. You know that. But…not with you. I imagine them being snowy white, whiter than your face or your arms. Because they're probably always covered. I wanna see them so bad. You know?

Bella felt herself blushing as she turned to look at him, willing herself to not stare at the stain on his shirt. She felt strongly compelled to tell him about it, and hopefully from the pile of crap e had lying around in the car would be another shirt. But his confession was too good for her to interrupt.

"You say you aren't upset that I didn't call. Even though you asking me shows me you do. And I did text you tonight to see how you were because these past two days _I_ couldn't stop thinking about _you_. You and you're preppy, girly clothes…your hands, "he again ran a finger through the fabric, as if willing his finger to feel the skin underneath, "You looking so perfect. I don't know why, but I like you," his eyes roamed over her exposed stomach, his eyes furrowed again similar to when he first saw her appearance "I don't particularly like what you're wearing now, to be honest, "Bella's heart beat rapidly at this statement, feeling like such a fool, "It's not you, and the fact that you worried so much about me not calling you is a turn-off. But for some reason, I still want you."

And that was the truth of it. She was crazy and insecure, but he needed to find out why. Find out why things ticked her the way they do. Find out why she acted the way she did. She was hiding something from him. He knew it, knew it in his bones and _that_ turned him on more than anything. She was opinionated, set in her own ways, and did things her own way and just thinking of her that way made him instantly hard. These past two days he had a constant hard-on just thinking about her. He would get to the bottom of this, he would figure her out. She was like a seriously fucked up engine that needed some fixing. He wanted to break her apart, like one of the old jalopys he'd get in the shop sometimes, some of them had the air conditioning system all fucked up, or the oil kept on leaking and all he wanted to do was to take out the pieces, the parts. Look at the air vents, the engines, everything. Take apart the tires for no reason, just to see if their functioning differently than most. God, he loved cars.

"I want you," he breathed, leaning in close to her at a red light, staring intently into her dark eyes, "and I know you want me."

God was he right. She wanted him, wanted him so bad. She was deluding herself the first day she ever saw him when she crashed into his car. She wanted him the moment she first saw him, no matter that he was dirty as shit. She wanted to rip off his shirt, pull down his pants and have him buried to the hilt inside of her. But that stain, that nasty stain that she could still see from her peripheral vision was the only thing preventing her from letting a pool of her wetness drip on the seat of his rabbit. She was losing it. Her stomach wrenched, and she leaned over quickly, opening her mouth to say how bad she was feeling.

Jacob leaned in closer as well, mistaking her move. Just as he tilted his head, his face inches away from her, Bella immediately jerked him away with her trembling hand, and the contents of what she ate that afternoon spilled over onto his lap.

. God.

Bella hated throwing up; the sensation of the bile rising to her throat was dreadful to her. She always felt like crying after it, needing someone to comfort her. And this time it was no different. Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she whimpered, awfully ashamed and mortified.

"Oh my God, Jacob. Shit. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Fucking shit," he cursed, pushing Bella aside to open the passenger side compartment, taking out two rags he had in there. They were dirty and greasy. He probably used them when he was working. He began to wipe off and use his fingers to close in on the disgusting, thick liquid, as if picking it up. He used the handle on his left to open the window, throwing the contents out.

"Jacob, I'm so sorry. I tried to say something but…"

"It's okay, I didn't know you were sick like that," He accelerated, quickly swerving through the winding road.

"Me neither. I just felt really bad," She hid her head in her hands. Now the car smelled like vomit, but this time, it was all her fault. It was the only time she was relieved that Jacob left the window open. Yeah, he totally wanted her now. This was the most mortifying experience in her life. And she was longing for that black hole to come in and pull her down into its empty depths.

"You probably were disgusted with my confession," he joked, attempting a laugh even as his nose wrinkled in disgust.

Fuck. He was trying to joke.

"No, it's not that. I 'm so sorry."

That was all she could say, she didn't know what else to do. This was another instance where she had no control. She needed to get the fuck home.

"God, it smells like shit. What did you eat?" he groaned.

"Salad," she squeaked.

"Sure, sure," he replied, finding other towels littered around the car to continue wiping himself with. His jeans were void now of the thickly substance, only the stain _there_ was bigger than the one on his shirt.

"It's true," Bella suddenly retorted, upset that he wasn't so understand about it. Tears were still streaming down her face from the humiliation and hatred that she threw up. The smell was worse to her nostrils than to his, that she was sure of, "Listen, I'm sorry I did that. I have no control. And I already feel like shit anyway. I hate throwing up more than anything. And the fact that you're trying to make me feel guiltier than I already do just…" she struggled to find the right word, ringing her hands in frustration, "just…pisses me off."

Jacob's jaw clenched and he gripped the steering wheel tighter as he made another swift turn, causing both of their bodies to swerve along with the car, "Well, I'm pissed off too. You vomit all over my pride and joy and you blame me for it. That's just great, just fucking great."

He was right. She hated that he was right, and she felt more foolish and childish than ever.

She sighed, leaning back against the seat, wiping the tears on her cheeks. She sniffled, pushing back the disgusting snot already piling up in her nostrils. She just wanted to get home and forget the night ever happened. It was too much.

Jacob turned to look at her upon hearing the sound, but he said nothing. She really fucked up. She blamed him for the shitty night she had and blamed him for her being such a freak. Any interest he had in her was shot to hell with her little display. The one guy who showed any interest in her was just like the rest who figured out her problem, disgusted.

The rest of the ride was deadly silent, with Bella's eyes being intently focused on the road, relieved that they were less than two minutes away.

Once they reached the driveway of Charlie Swan's house, Jacob got off the car, the enormous stain in his pants clearly dark, wet, and visible, and opened the side door for her.

"Goodnight," she said lamely, half-smiling at him, wanting him to know that she truly _was_ sorry, no matter how unfounded her anger was before.

His eyes stared intently into hers, holding her gaze. His face was unflinching, his lips set in a thin line.

"See you Tuesday night. At seven," he finally said, leading Bella to the door of her house.

"Wh-what?"

"Tuesday. Seven," Jacob repeated, as if he was talking to a little child who didn't understand, "I'm seeing you again on Tuesday, so be ready for me to pick you up."

And with that, he left. Bella was rooted to the spot. He_ still_ wanted to go out with her. She vomited all over him, and he still wanted to see her. Unbelievable.

The front door opened.

"Bella, who was that?" her father asked suspiciously.

He knew. He saw him. If Jacob was going to pick her up for sure, there was no point in hiding it anymore, especially when she was already caught red-handed.


	11. Chapter 11 The Even Meeting

A/N: I want to thank all my readers and new ones again for the wonderful reviews. I'm sorry that I've sucked so much at updating, but this entire week I had to get ready for a big exam...but now I have plenty of time in my hands to get back to the story! Again, thanks!

Chapter 11. The Even Meeting

"You told me you weren't seeing him," Charlie stated, instinctively blocking Bella into a corner.

But Bella was too self-conscious to take any real notice, for it finally occurred to her the exact consequences of her releasing the contents of her dinner on Jacob- dirt. Filth. Bacteria from within her body. Must. Wash. Out.

"Bella," her father urged, the tone in his voice turned sharp and raspy as if trying but almost failing to suppress the deep disappointment he felt in his daughter.

"Shower," Bella cut in, not trusting herself to say anything else.

Charlie took in her disheveled appearance (which really only consisted of an infinitely small, darkish stain resembling a beauty mark on the crook of her left arm. To a casual observer, the mark symbolized nothing, probably a pretty mole. But to Bella, who was the perfect girl to all, it was a disaster that could shake her entire core. And no one knew this better than Charlie Swan. He sometimes felt as if _he_ was equally as obsessed as his daughter was. But that was the way it had always been in their home, even when he and Renee were together.

"Fine," he agreed, inclining his head towards the stairs, "But I'll be coming around in an hour after you're done."

Without another word, Bella stormed up the twenty- eight steps to her room, making a beeline towards her closet, moving aside five hangers of clothes to her left as she took out the nearest newly washed pink pajama from the sleepwear pile, dying to finally feel the familiar slap of heated water down her back, envisioning as those savior droplets washed away the positively evil remainders of her sickness, of the same she felt.

The twenty-two objects in the bathroom reaffirming to her that some part of her life was still in place was not enough to soothe her anxieties and fears. She closed her eyes, expecting her old friend to take all the pain away as she tried not to think about the events that just occurred. It could not have been real. Jacob asking her out again must be a figment of her imagination. There was no logic to it. It was like a dream that only made sense within someone's mind, a distorted reality. Her buddy the showerhead washed away the physical evidence of her sickness, but it failed to heal her emotionally.

People saw her erratic behavior. She didn't know who, for she was too dazed to make out particular faces. But the idea that people could possibly remember _her_, and remember her behaving in a way that Bella herself couldn't even remember was enough to coop herself up in her room for the rest of her existence. Her thoughts then drifted to her co-workers. What stories would they tell the rest of the faculty? How fucked up and strange would Jessica make her out to be to people such as Mike, who were more than willing to see the good in her.

As she worked the shampoo through her greasy, cigarette smelling hair, she vowed that she would not let these incidents damper the sense of confidence that she was so desperately trying to achieve. She hummed that fun loving Audrey Hepburn tune again, begging for the melody to recreate the similar, ecstatic emotions she felt only a few nights ago. But it was fruitless. It would only be reasonable that she should feel happy that Jacob wanted to see her again, but she honestly didn't know what kind of impression she formed on him. She wanted him to be completely in awe of her, to be taken in by her charm and wit, and her throwing up on him was the exact opposite.

Why the hell did he want to see her again? What was it? Was he just as fucked up as her? Was he going to completely surprise her on Tuesday and do something so horrible to her as payback for fucking up his car? A million scenarios raced through her mind, each one worse than the last. The shower wasn't helping any, and after lavishly cleansing her body numerous times, she just needed to get out.

Getting dressed and combing through her hair eighty-nine times still couldn't shake off the fluttering within her chest.

As she gazed at the clock on her nightstand which read one o'clock, she shut her eyes and groaned. She still needed to talk to her father. She only hoped he fell asleep.

Down the twenty-eight steps she went, each one weighing down on her slipper-wearing feet considerably, counting down the minutes until she would be witness to her father's wrath.

"Why did you lie to me?" he asked, his hands calmly entwined with each other as he sat still as a board in the dining room table, coolly looking at his hesitant daughter.

"I don't know," Bella replied, sighing. She was too tired to come up with a brilliant excuse him. Right now, knowing her Dad, honesty was the best policy. But she still wouldn't go down without a fight.

"I'm twenty-five years old," she stated matter-of-factly, allowing the annoyance slowly building up within her to manifest itself more fully, hoping it would block the fear she felt at confronting her father. She hated confrontations.

"I'm not a kid. You can't tell me what to do."

"I know that, but you're not well, either."

Bella felt as if she had been punched in the stomach. For it was true, all of it. She was still the same, she still wasn't perfect, and she hated the fact that the one person she wanted to see her as such could see right through her. Damn Jacob Black.

The true effects of the horrible night hit her like a smack on the head, and everything she had been trying to wash away upstairs in her bathroom came tumbling down, cascading down her back. Life sucked. She sucked. She was no Audrey Hepburn.

"I know," she choked, her sob making her entire body jerk forward.

Charlie immediately got up and embraced her tightly as Bella took in his hug, wrapping her arms around him. She just wanted tonight to be over, to wake up to a somewhat sunny sky and continue living in her own dream world where everyone loved her, wanted to be like her, and she was perfect.

"I had a horrible time. I freaked out. The girls didn't want to take me back, so Jacob did."

Bella felt Charlie's body stiffen. He quickly created a gap between them, his arms falling to the sides.

"He was there?"

"No, I texted him," she really didn't want to bring Alice into the picture. Too much to explain, "He went out of his way to come pick me up and take me home. I threw up on him. I felt sick."

Charlie half- smiled, feeling immense pity as he ran a hand through her damp hair, "Why did you feel sick?"

Bella then explained everything to him. Her fear of the throngs of people bumping up close to her, the nauseating smell, the dirty infestation of the women's restroom, everything.

Once Bella finished relating her entire story, minus Jacob wanting to see her again, her father could only gaze at her pensively.

"Call Dr. Jenkins tomorrow to schedule an appointment for Monday.'

Bella's eyes widened. "I'm seeing her on Wednesday."

"You need to see her sooner. You don't feel well and she could prescribe something else for you."

"Like what?"

"Bella, how am I supposed to know? Just call her."

Bella sighed, heading to her room. "Fine."

She hated being pushed to do things. It made her look weak, helpless. The fact that anyone could have such control over her actions pissed her off. She didn't want to see Dr. Jenkins. The woman wasn't helping worth shit. She tried her advice on the phone but it didn't work for long. The doctor seemed distracted somehow on the phone, as if talking to Bella was a chore. And she wasn't going to be a chore to anyone. That was for fucking sure. She was worth more than that. She was. She _was_. If she repeated those sentiments long enough to herself, maybe they would be true.

Just as she was on the fourteenth step on the stairwell, she heard her father's voice ring out from the kitchen, as if conversing with someone.

Quietly as possible, and making sure to skip that rickety, noisy thirteenth step, Bella tiptoed to the kitchen, making sure she was hidden amongst the shadows that were regularly cast during such late night hours. She stood just on the side of the entrance into the brightly lit room.

"Good, good. Listen…I saw you take Bella home this evening…"

Bella's heart skipped a beat. Possibly three, as she automatically covered her mouth with her hand. It was ridiculous. It wasn't as if she was going to scream at any minute. She held her breath, waiting for Charlie to say anything. From his continual nodding of his head, it seemed as if Jacob was giving him a detailed account of what happened.

"Well, I'm sorry about your car."

Fuck. Will she always be reminded of it?

"Just wanted to say thanks for watching out for my daughter…"

Bella couldn't help but smile, a familiar feeling of guilt returning. Charlie cared so much sometimes that it was scary.

"Jacob… that isn't such a good idea."

She closed her eyes; she knew exactly what he was referring to.

"She's not ready, that's all."

The floor shook beneath her as she tiptoed up the stairs again, not wanting to hear anymore. She was fed up. Sick of the shit. She hated how her Dad was trying to control her life. As if she was a child. Nothing had changed in the past twenty-five years. Absolutely nothing.

She couldn't be appeased at the moment. What she wanted to do more than anything was pick up her phone and dial Jacob, find out what he thought of her now. She grunted, heading to the bathroom to scrub her face extra good tonight before going to bed. It was one thing to think of doing something and another to actually _do_ it. No, she had embarrassed herself enough for the night.

…Twenty-one. Twenty-two. Good. Apply cleanser to face. . Scrub. Good. Keep scrubbing. Take it out. Take it all out.

Pretty soon drops of blood splattered onto the white bathroom sink, making one of those indistinct shapes that you could interpret as anything in a shrink's office. One of Bella's earliest memories were of those black and white flashing cards- different versions of the same thing, really. Beautiful, top hats from the early nineteen hundreds. They called to her, beckoned to her, telling her that she could be that beautiful some day, that classically gorgeous. The various shrinks throughout her life would nod and wrinkle their eyebrows at her, as if trying desperately to fit pieces of a puzzle that wasn't there. So what if she saw hats? They were something beautiful, unique and happy, which was more than she could say for the responses these people would always get- knives, brains smashed, or even worse- just black. Yeah, these assholes had nothing to roll there eyes at.

But the spit-splatters of blood looked like that wonderful shape right now, some clumping together to extend upwards, making up the bulk of the hat, with other more liquid-like clumps forming on the ends, extending out on the sides as if forming the edges of the hat. It was cute, but one glance at the mirror told Bella exactly where the red picture came from-- her bloody blotched face. She looked at her fingernails. They needed to be cut, badly. The long nails pressed into her skin, causing her to bleed. She scrubbed herself too hard, causing more pain. She needed to make that dreaded call, and quick.

By the time Monday rolled by, she had an appointment with Dr. Jenkins at five thirty, right after her classes finished, and her office hours extended just for her.

Her first period class was regressing to their Neanderthal tendencies, throwing spit wads at each other , texting to each other( for Bella couldn't get the beeping sound of their Blackberrys going off with the signal of a new message) as well as just causing any various forms of noise in general. The only one Bella could rely on was Aaron Phillips, who was always the first one raising his hand when she asked the simple question of naming one of the various themes of the play.

"Dreams," he stated, placing his hand calmly on his desk, eyeing the class, feeling proud of himself.

"Good." Bella wrote the answer on the board and passed a line underneath it to further emphasize its importance.

"And what of dreams?"

Silence.

"Examples of dreams?"

A different hand rose up. She raised her eyebrows, a bit taken aback.

"Yes, Mr. Sampson?"

Will Sampson was one of those lazy stoner- types she detested in college, taking up perfectly even numbered seats in her classes, acting all superior to everyone else just because they didn't _need_ to study. They were just there for the free ride. That's what Will was like. Never contributing to class discussions, never turning in his assignments on time, and only barely scraping by his tests. His work and answers to the questions showed Bella that the kid was perfectly capable of applying himself and ultimately succeeding. But he chose not to, which infuriated her more than she deemed worth necessary. And now he decided to answer one of her questions.

"Like the one I had last night where I was riding on a marshmallow cloud and it then started raining Kit Kat Bars." He was smiling, looking at his friends next to him.

"You're such an idiot, man," Bella heard them say.

"No, it's not." Bella stumbled through her words, slightly hurt but pissed that they were making a joke of it.

She half-expected and half-hoped Aaron would answer. As his skinny hand shot up, Bella mentally thanked him for saving her.

"Dreams are explained by the characters in order to explain bizarre events, and Puck mentions it in the end when he is speaking to the audience."

"Very good," Bella exclaimed, quickly whipping around to write 'bizarre events' on the board.

She still felt the murmurs of other conversations continue as she tried to bring attention back to the discussion at hand, but felt as if the only participants were really herself and Aaron. She would once in awhile give the guilty ones looks of disdain, which would shut them up…temporarily.

The rest of her classes droned on in the same manner-- with her having to resort to her somewhat passive haughty demeanor and completely separate herself from her students, instead of openly engaging with them. She wanted desperately to be that kind of teacher, but honestly didn't know how. Though a part of her still believed (no matter that she called Dr. Jenkins in a time of crisis), that going to a psychiatrist was bullshit, another part (no matter how small) wanted someone to tell her what to do. She wanted to become someone else.

It was worse when Jessica Stanley ignored her that day, sitting as far away from her as humanly possible in the teacher's lounge, deep in conversation with the twelfth grade English Teacher, Mrs. Larson. When Bella would try to meet her gaze, she'd only turn away. She imagined herself being the topic of conversation between her and the other teacher, no matter how self-centered that might be. She just fucked up so bad Saturday night that she was sure Jessica was telling everyone. Bella tried to see if she could see Angela Weber, but she didn't have the same lunch.

And before she knew it, her isolated day was almost over.

Her first visit to Dr. Jenkins' office was rushed- with the Doctor half-assing a prescription for two drugs that weren't doing her any good.

The receptionist, Bertha, was still as clueless and chirpy as ever, which still annoyed Bella to the extreme. Just hearing her talking to patients on the phone and confirming appointments in her upbeat, friendly tone was just enough to make her jealous and irritated at the same time.

"If you can have a seat, Miss Swan," the woman said, pointing to the comfortingly clean, plush couch to her right, "The doctor will be with you in a moment."

"Thank you."

The wait didn't last very long, much to Bella's relief. The attractive, tall Dr. Jenkins opened a previously closed door, smiling warmly at Bella.

"Hello, Bella," she greeted her, her demeanor making a complete one eighty from their previous meeting. She sounded content, happy, and equally as chirpy as her receptionist.

"Guess you couldn't wait to see me so you decided to come two days early, huh?"

Her joke fell flat on Bella, who could only half-smile. But Dr. Jenkins took no notice as she ushered her last patient of the day in, closing the door behind her.

She gestured to Bella to sit on the brown couch, the same one that had the nasty brown stain that had so discomposed her before. Before she could spend the two seconds to determine if she was still there, Dr. Jenkins beat her to it.

"I had it bleached out the day after you left."

Bella gave her a puzzled look.

"Bertha did it while I was on my vacation."

The young woman raised her eyebrow.

"She's a thorough cleaner, trust me."

She gestured to her to sit a gain, which Bella hesitantly complied to do.

"So," Jenkins began, getting comfortable in her plush seat, "What brought you here so soon?"

"Uh, I haven't been feeling well."

"Hmmm…in what way?" Dr. Jenkins asked somewhat monotonously, taking out Bella's file... She'd heard it all before. Anxieties. Depression. Social isolation. And she still hadn't forgotten Bella's episode the last time she was here, or the telephone call interrupting her splendid vacation. She was still on that high, that dreamlike state where nothing could get her down. From days of lying out on the beach with Bill to making passionate love in the night, she had never felt more liberated. More free. More calm. More serene. It was truly wonderful.

But right now, she was back to her usual hum-drum, and the airiness she felt from a plethora of patients that day telling her how their medications are really helping them out and that they feel so much better. It boosted her confidence for the rest of the day, until Bella showed up. Her façade of gladness waned as Bella sat there, shifting uncomfortably, the same way she had before. She took too little time with her on their first meeting. This time- she had to pay extra attention.

"I—I can't do this. No one can help me. I want to—but I just."

"It's okay, Bella," Dr. Jenkins said soothingly, "I'm here to help. It might not've seemed that way in our first meeting. For I was in a hurry, but I'm here now."

The troubled woman felt a warm, radiant burst of energy consume her as she gazed at her doctor's nicely kept, Lysol smelling, dust free room, she could see twelve books perfectly lined on the top shelf of her bookcase. There were six rows in total, twenty four books within each. Two couches. Two windows. Peace at last.

"I still get obsessed with things."

"What kind of things."

"Counting."

"What do you count?"

Bella sighed. "Everything. I can't stop. Everything needs to be perfect."

"Why do you feel the need to have everything perfect?"

"I just do. It's- it makes me feel better about everything, about myself. I can't control anything," she looked at the doctor, feeling the need to further explain herself before she asked, "I don't know what to do if I can't control anything than I won't be prepared."

"Prepared for what, Bella?"

"For whatever happens," she shifted nervously in her seat, feeling the affect of finally releasing her thoughts and ideas to another individual take its full force, "I know it's stupid. I know in my head that nothing bad's gonna happen to me if nothing's perfect because I see people act normal and they're fine but I can't." The incident at the club immediately came to mind.

Dr. Jenkins leaned in closer to the trembling girl, noting how a tiny tear cascaded down her cheek.

"Here," she said, reaching over for the box of tissues she always kept on her desk and handing it to Bella, who grabbed it with her covered hand.

"I know it's fucking ridiculous," she stumbled on her words, realizing her blunder, not knowing if she could use profanity in a doctor's office.

"It's fine," Dr. Jenkins assured her, knowing the girl probably forgot this wasn't the first time she used profanity in her office.

"But I can't stop. I don't know how. I feel…I feel so alone."

Bella felt a wave, much like a tidal wave; engulf her, leaving her gasping for air. Choking. Choking. Choking out the pain she kept hidden, the pain she had felt for so long. Saying the words put finality to everything. It was a confirmation and realization of her feelings of isolation, as if she was cut off from the rest of the world.

"Bella, it's okay. Everyone feels alone sometimes. But from now on, you need someone. A friend, a family member, anyone who you can talk to these feelings about on a daily basis. I'm a good start, but I can't see you every day. Do you think you'll be able to say how you feel to your father?"

She didn't know. He would be the most likely choice. He already knew how fucked up she was. But she was so used to hiding everything from her mother,(who reveled in her own dream world of perfection that she'd rather not deal with Bella than actually help her with her problems and having a parental figure who she could actually open up to was new…and scary.

"I think so," she said weakly, blowing her nose. Her eyes searched for a waste paper basket. But Dr. Jenkins was too quick for her, picking up the basket on the other side of her desk and holding it out to Bella to deposit her used tissue paper in.

"He'll understand more than anything. Parents always do."

Bella snorted. "Not my mother."

"Why?"

"She's too busy with Phil and her different hobbies .She has a new one, like, every other week."

"And how do you feel about that?"

Bella shrugged. "That part never bothered me before. I just found it annoying that she was so happy. But I hate it how she wouldn't let me open up to her."

"Hmmm. And do you think you're Dad will be like that?"

"No," Bella admitted, fiddling with her gloved fingers.

"Talk to him, Bella. It'll be something new for you. You can't keep everything inside all the time. You need to let your feelings out to other people instead of having it boil inside of you. Try that. And remember that your Dad's reaction to things will probably be different than your mother's."

Bella nodded. She then felt a sudden urge to say more. She had never felt the need to open up to anyone and was surprised to feel that once she started to, once she opened the door just a crack, she'd feel spreading that door wide.

"I feel like such a freak sometimes. I feel as if everyone is watching me, trying to find out when I'm gonna fuck up. When I'm gonna crack and show them how crazy I am. And I hate it. Sometimes, I just rather be by myself."

"Why is that?"

"Because I feel self-conscious over how people think of me. When I'm by myself, I can be me."

Dr. Jenkins leaned in closer to her patient in a confidential manner. "Do you like people?"

Bella raised her eyebrow. "What?"

"Do you like people?"

The doctor glanced at the notes she'd quickly scribbled down. _Bipolar Disorder. Depression_. Those words stuck out at her more than anything. More than the obvious Obsessive Compulsive disorder ever did.

"Like hanging out with them?"

"Yes."

"No, not really."

"Why?"

"I never know what to say and they irritate me."

Hmm. Interesting.

"In what way?"

"Well, a lot of people can easily put me in a bad mood. When they don't do what I want them to do or they say something that's hurtful."

Flashes of her anger taking a hold of her in the bathroom after Jessica's degrading comment sprung in Bella's mind. The feeling of wanting to throw something against a wall resurfaced. Her anger was so out of place. She knew that now, and was only embarrassed that she had overreacted so much.

"I get angry a lot," Bella quickly explained, "I hate when people make fun of me and it makes me want to hurt them or just let out my anger and I can't sometimes. It's too much"

"Is your family aware of this as well?"

"No, not really. I don't tell anybody."

"I see." Dr. Jenkins quickly wrote down _possible diagnostic test to be taken in future._

She looked at the clock. The girl's half hour was up.

"Bella, our time is up, unfortunately. I still want to see you on Wednesday so we can continue our discussion. I'm gonna ask Bertha to extend our session for an hour instead of half."

Dr. Jenkins got up and Bella did the same. The doctor smiled warmly at her patient. For now, she wanted to concentrate on these new, more inhibited symptoms than the former. She would balance both, giving her a stronger medication for her depression than her obsessive tendencies.

"For the next two days, continue taking the medication I previously prescribed to you. I want to do a diagnostic test and from there we'll see what you need to take. Is that okay?"

Bella nodded.

"Okay, then." Dr. Jenkins again smiled warmly at her, "For now, just relax. Do things that make you happy. Don't stress yourself out. And talk to your father about this. Open up to him about all these things he doesn't know about. It's good to have a support system outside of me. After I see you on Wednesday, we'll begin a whole new therapy. Is this alright with you?'

Bella nodded again, thinking of the pleasures of the relaxing at her house.

The car ride home was relaxing, to say the least. Roll left sock up. Roll right sock up. Check. Smooth out crease on left. Check. Then right. Check. Turn on ignition. Two. Two. Two. Two. Minus wheel. Check. Perfect.

She felt relieved that she had opened up to someone. It was the first time she had ever put any of her hidden feelings into words. It half surprised her that she felt that way. It was clearly fucked up. But for once, she was glad someone was helping her. For God knows her Mom didn't.

Her phone vibrated in the seat next to her. They were loud enough to be heard.

Jacob.

_You're in my thoughts. Even though you puked in my car. Still like you._

Fuck. Dr. Jenkins' words repeated themselves in her mind. Could she tell Jacob? Will he understand? What's worse than puking in someone's own car? She was undecided. She didn't know what to do.

She placed the phone back in her purse.

_Best think about it when you get home, Bella. Best think about it then. Don't make hasty decisions. Keep it cool_.

A/N: I know it was a bit depressing. But life does have its ups and downs. Bella has to get over a lot of things.


	12. Chapter 12 The Even Second Date

A/N: Thanks everyone for your lovely reviews. I love everyone's input on how you feel about the charactes' actions, situations, etc. It's rewarding to have readers as connected to the story as I am writing it. Happy Reading!!

* * *

Chapter 12. The Even Second Date

The text went unanswered for the rest of the evening. She felt fucking guilty about it but was glad at the same time. More time for her to decide and more time to have him thinking about her, wondering where she was. She liked the feeling of being desired and it wasn't something she wanted to go away.

It wasn't as difficult for her to talk to her father like she previously thought. Dr. Jenkins was right: It felt so good, so relieving. She told Charlie everything, from her fear of human companionship to her having to hide behind a world of perfection that she created for herself. But the best thing was that he understood. He didn't laugh at her. He didn't judge her. He didn't make her feel small. He _understood_ and accepted her.

"Do you think I'm crazy?" she asked as the two of them sat side by side on the kitchen table.

Bella could barely make out his face in the lowly lit room, the tiny wrinkles on his forehead only fairly visible by the small streaks of light pouring in- signs of a day coming to a close. Bella's horrible day was ending, with a new and better one just beginning.

Before this moment, she felt as if she was enclosed in a cocoon of her own misery. And instead of that cocoon being cracked and her forcing to make an exit against her own will, she was poking her head outside, opening a tiny hole in the hardened, protective shield she built around herself, allowing breath to enter through her body. She was breathing again. Freely. Openly.

"Sometimes," Charlie replied, laughing at Bella's shocked expression.

"Just kidding."

"Thanks." Her tone was terse, almost sarcastic.

"Bella," her father began, placing his hand on her arm, "I'm glad you told me everything. I didn't fully understand before but I'm beginning to now."

He sighed looking out at the darkening sky through the crystal-clear window, as if debating whether to share his thoughts to his daughter.

"I-I'll try to help in doing what Dr. Jenkins suggests. I might've overreacted a bit with you going out with Jacob…but if she says he's good for you then…" he trailed off, not really wanting to commit to the words he was about to say.

"I can see him then?" the girl asked hesitantly, not sure if she was hearing correctly.

If things in her life had the possibility of turning out perfect just by being frank with those she needed to the most, then she would most definitely be repeating this act. It was Charlie's bumbling, almost unspoken way of letting her know that she was free to see Jacob whenever she wanted. Fucking awesome.

"Yeah, kiddo. Sure." He mumbled the words, looking away.

Bella knew immediately where his eyes wandered to. The living room. The television screen. Probably a game going on. He still wasn't ready to envision his daughter in a romantic relationship. As far as Bella knew, he never saw her in one. Renee barely noticed as well, for she was too busy with her own to concern herself with Bella. The truth of the matter was that she never really dated much. Just a couple of dates and one semi-serious relationship with a bad ending. But nobody knew about the last one, not even her mother.

Numbers, pairs, and any other sort of easy distraction flashed in her mind. Emptying the contents of her past was necessary at the moment. For Dr. Jenkins specifically told her to only think of happy thoughts, and the memory of that aspect of her life was enough to seriously piss her off. Think like Audrey or Julie. What would they do? Julie would sing a song in her beautiful soprano voice, charming everyone in sight with her musical talent while Audrey would unknowingly make every man fall in love with her. Her horrid past as Eula May would be behind her and she would transform herself into a confident, street- smart, sexy woman. Nothing could bring her down. Her confidence was key to her success, and Bella would act just the same- charming and confident.

" Whatcha say we do something together this weekend?" Charlie asked, a smile replacing his former awkwardness.

"Like what?"

"Well, I usually go on fishing trips--"

"No."

Silence.

"Yeah, sorry."

He shouldn't have asked that question. He knew that. Bella hanging out outdoors. On a boat. Fishing. Smell of fresh air. Smell of fish. Big sign for a disaster waiting to happen. Charlie felt like an idiot. His daughter just opened up to him in a major way about her fears, insecurities, social awkwardness among people and her major freak-out this past weekend due to being placed in an uncomfortable situation _would_ be enough for him not to make such a silly suggestion.

"It's okay, Dad," Bella replied, smiling at her father. Nothing was going to bring her down. Nothing.

"We can do something else this weekend."

"Like what?"

"Hmm…I don't know. I'll think about it."

"Good, good."

Another awkward silence.

Charlie was generally more understanding than her mother and more willing to listen, but he never really was one for much conversation. Bella knew that. She always had. But it didn't disturb her this time. Just the fact that Dad would be there when she needed him was enough for her.

"Jacob's picking me up tomorrow night." It was best to get it out in the open.

"Okay, sure," he responded somewhat hesitantly.

He was looking at the living room, his eyes barely wandered. He wanted out. Their conversation was done. But surprisingly, Bella didn't mind. She actually wanted some alone time herself.

"I'm going upstairs," she said suddenly, standing up and scooting her chair in.

Charlie stood up as well, relieved.

"Good, good. Listen, think of something we could do this weekend. Just you and me."

Bella smiled.

"Sure, Dad."

* * *

Pop pill one into the mouth. Pop pill two into the mouth. Swallow them both with water. Close the lid of bottle one. Close the lid of bottle two. Stash away.

Bella was so used to this routine she could do it with her eyes closed. She didn't know what Dr. Jenkins's new prescriptions would be on Wednesday. She just hoped the amount given was the same as now. Not one or three.

The rest of the night was spent grading papers. Half of them were doing well. She wanted all of her students to pass though and she was beginning to question her own teaching methods. How could she get all her slacker kids motivated? She wanted to make things as easy for them as possible. She wanted to be a good teacher. Maybe win Teacher of The Year.

She laughed at the thought. Over-reaching much, Bella? She loved recognition, to be admired, etc.

Her cell phone rang, almost making her drop her ungraded papers.

Jacob Black. Calling her, not texting.

"Hello?"

"Bella?" His deep, baritone voice nearly made her wt her panties again.

"Yeah, Hi." Act calm. Act cool. Act collected. Think Audrey. Think Garbo. How would they act?

"Hi. You didn't answer my text."

She smiled. She really forgot about it, which was a first. But she liked the effect. Make him want her.

"Sorry, got caught up with things." She automatically got up from her "grading chair" walking around absentmindedly.

" Sure, sure. You feeling better?"

"Yeah, great," she responded off-handedly.

"Good, good. So we still on for tomorrow night?"

"Yeah. Where we going, by the way?"

"That's a surprise."

Bella frowned. "Better not be where you took me last time."

She heard him clear his throat. "No, no. Man, that'll always haunt me, won't it?"

"Uh ,yeah. Please don't put me in that situation again."

Loud laughter was clearly heard through the speaker, making Bella's entire body shiver with excitement.

"I won't. I promise. We're going somewhere new. I think you'll like it. I'm not sure."

The girl felt her stomach drop.

"Why aren't you sure?" Fuck Audrey. Fuck Garbo. She couldn't prevent the fear that suddenly rose in her voice.

Jacob immediately sensed her anxiety, for he quickly responded.

"No, nothing bad, really. I don't want you getting sick again so I'll just say it," Bella could tell he was only semi-serious, for his voice took on that now familiar quality of light heartedness and ease and knew he was joking, " I was gonna introduce you to some home-cooking. Take you to eat at my house. My Dad will be there and I figured it'll be a nice change than us going somewhere where you will feel awkward or I will."

Bella frowned.

"_Did_ you feel awkward at Serenity? I thought you go there a lot."

"I do. During the day, not at night or anything. Different set of people at night. Kept looking at me funny."

"Yeah, know the feeling," Bella couldn't help but add. Just remembering her brief moments at Harry Clearwater's restaurant was enough incentive for her to feel insecure and unwanted for the rest of her life.

Breathe in, breathe out Bella. Think good thoughts. You're talking on the phone with a hot guy. Act cool and a bit disinterested. Make him want you more.

"Yeah, that's why I suggested eating at my place."

"That's cool," she replied off-handedly, taking eight steps to her left, leaning against the wall leading into her bathroom.

"Okay, I'll pick you up then. Gotta go, Bella."

His voice was regretful, apologetic.

"I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

"Sure, sure." She tried her hardest to sound cheerful, as if she didn't worry if he called her tomorrow or not. She doubted it was working.

The rest of the night past uneventfully. She continued grading papers that ended up being split down the middle- students did excellently or abysmally, nothing in between. She hoped it was normal. She was greatly unsatisfied with how she handled Jacob's call. Did her nonchalant attitude work? Did it make her look like an idiot? She just didn't want to come on too strong and needy like she did on Saturday. It was one of the first times where after she finished a conversation with Jacob, she had no need to fantasize about him, or have her friend Turbo pay a friendly visit to her.

Bella's students behaved the same as the day before- disruptive and noisy. But she didn't let it get her down this time. Dr. Jenkins told her to think of happy things and she did, and hoped that after tomorrow afternoon she wouldn't have to try so much. Everything was pretty much similar to the day before- Jessica Stanley continued to ignore her, Aaron Phillips was the only one who paid attention to her lectures, and Mike Newton only looked at her with pity, greeting her politely in the hallways and constantly asking her how she was doing. Bella would always grimace. She needed no one's pity-especially Mike Newton's.

But the one thing that truly surprised her that day was Angela Weber's approaching her in the Teacher's Lounge right before her last class of the day.

"Bella? Can I talk to you?" Angela asked just as Bella was about to take a sip of her dark coffee.

"Yeah, sure." She held the cup tightly, trying to develop a grip on the thing. But the wool protecting her hands prevented the hold to sustain.

"Here, let me take that for you," Angela suggested, grabbing the cup from her colleague. She sat in a tiny table in the corner of the room, inviting Bella to do the same.

It was a perfect spot to talk privately, out of earshot from everyone else, which suited perfectly for Angela. Jessica was right that the girl was strange, but it still didn't excuse her friend from treating her like shit at the club. Just looking at the nervous girl now caused a wave of pity to crash down on her. She looked so awkward and so shy that it was no wonder that the girl was the pun of Jessica's every joke. She was an easy target.

Even without her spectacles, Angela could plainly see how weirdly perfect-looking Bella Swan tried to make herself look. There was not a wrinkle in sight on her perfect, pink cardigan. Her brown locks were so neatly in place that not even a loose strand was visible. Her perfectly pale white face needed color. It was as if she was trying display a style of beauty that didn't fit her at all.

"I want to apologize for what happened on Saturday," she began leaning in close lest anyone else should hear.

"It's fine, It's fine. I just…don't really like clubs."

"But we should've taken you home," Angela insisted, "It was," she then lowered her voice at her next words, "bitchy of us. Let me make it up to you."

"No, no. You don't need to. It's fine."

"Bella. I _want_ to. It'll make _me_ feel better. Please."

Bella shrugged, looking uneasy. She hated having people be forced to hang out with her when they just feel sorry for her. It was too fucking embarrassing.

"You _really_ don't have to."

"I want to. And I'm going to…unless you don't wanna hang out?"

Bella raised her eyebrows.

"You wanna hang out?"

"Yeah, whatcha think I meant?"

"I don't know," she looked at her sheepishly, "I thought maybe you wanted to do a favor for me or something…."

God was she an idiot. She berated herself for _not_ thinking the right thing, if that was possible.

Angela laughed. It was a nice, ringing laugh. Her whole face lit up with that positive sound. It reminded her a bit of that girl Alice.

"No, no. We could hang out sometime this week. Do you like the mall?"

"No."

She couldn't stop herself from responding so negatively but the idea of being amongst a throng of people again was enough to drive her insane.

"Oh," Angela replied, suddenly looking as awkward as Bella, "I just…thought it would be something you might like…never met a girl who didn't like shopping."

For a split second, Bella contemplated going with Angela. Like a normal woman would. Honestly, why wouldn't she like shopping? She could buy pretty, nice, new things. Knowing her she would love to go shopping, but not with all those fucking people that would normally be there during the weekend.

She vaguely remembered her mother ushering her into a huge department store, her soft hands pulling out clothes, handing them to Bella, pulling more clothes, handing them to Bella. Thirty–six times she did this, with Bella's purple gloved hands struggling to hold the articles of clothing. Other girls her age bumped into her, causing her almost to be tossed around like a dodge ball. Dizzy. Dizzy. Just like before. Three, four, five people crashing into her. Five people to every article of clothing her mother put into her tiny arms. Horrible. Scarier than a rollercoaster.

"I just don't, sorry," she replied, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Okay."

Angela immediately got up and left. Bella sighed, feeling again disgusted with herself. Score zero for Bella opening up to people.

Twenty-two perfect things surrounded her as her dear old pal the showerhead sprayed her hair with water, preparing her for her evening with Mr. Black. The fact that her Dad knew about it and semi- approved was enough to make this a breeze. It pleased her that her day could totally suck yet the prospect of seeing her new love interest was exciting and thrilling. He told her he'd pick her up at seven, which meant she had only two hours to get ready from her leaving work up until he would knock at the door. That meant she had to hurry her ass up if she didn't want to open the door with her hair soaking wet like last time.

Just imagining spending another evening in his company was enough to start her usual fantasies again. She thought there was something seriously wrong with her that she hadn't lately. The touch of his hand, the muscles on his rippling body, his silky, straight black hair…how was she ever disgusted by him before? Because since then, he had been looking pretty clean and good. Oh, god. She couldn't wait to sleep with him. She hadn't slept with anyone for so long that she'd probably forgotten how to. She just had to learn to keep her thoughts in check while in his presence.

As she skimmed through the light pastel section of her closet, she debated between a light purple dress reaching just below her knees or a spaghetti strap light green dress that was just infinitely shorter. She then remembered Jacob's telling her he didn't like her "super sexy"outfit Jessica so happily picked out on Saturday. She was glad. At least it was one thing they had in common.

It felt so good dressing normally. Looking at her reflection in the mirror only confirmed her complete ease with the natural looking girl staring back at her. She rearranged everything in her room, making sure not to leave until everything stood or hung in its place correctly, for this was going to be a good night, and she wanted everything to be perfect once she came back. It will make her feel better just knowing that her little domain would be looking in tip-top shape once she came back. Once putting on her similarly colored green gloves, she was on her way down the twenty-eight steps and quickly glanced at the grandfather clock six steps in front of her. _Eight o' clock._ Fucking shit.

While fumbling through her purse to wonder where the hell Jacob was and how come he didn't call her if he was late, she heard a knock at the door.

Smoothing out invisible wrinkles on her dress and flipping her hair behind her shoulders, she opened the door.

Jacob Black stood smiling at her, his six foot seven inches towering above her five foot four. He was wearing a nice, collared blue shirt and light wash denim. He looked delicious. And his teeth were so white when he smiled that it made Bella's heart instantly flutter.

"You didn't call me to tell me that-"

"Why did I have to?" he interrupted, letting himself into the foyer of her house, leaving the door just slightly open, " I came to pick you up right on time."

"No you didn't," Bella responded, smiling. For Jacob's good humor was infectious, bouncing itself onto her despite her slight annoyance and confusion, "You told me you were gonna pick me up at seven."

"Yeah, but seven in _your_ time means eight in mine."

Her eyes widened, her mouth slightly hanging open. But before she could get one word out her Dad's voice resonated from the living room.

"Hey, Jake. How are you?"

He stepped near to the tall young man, attempting to pat him on the shoulder. Jacob, seeing what his father's best friend was trying to do but failing miserably, he shook his hand roughly- a "manly" way. Bella could only roll her eyes and shake her head in slight amusement. This was a good scene- Charlie being okay with her seeing Jacob and them going to eat at a house. Perfect. For she was beginning to realize that _that's_ what she liked- simple, family-style outings. Nothing too fancy, nothing too extravagant or noisy. The idea of having dinner at the Black residence was okay for her. This was going to be a very good night indeed.

"Good, Charlie. And you?"

"Good, good." Charlie Swan eyed his daughter's suitor, sizing him up. It was a bit ridiculous in Bella's opinion, for he supposedly knew him since he was a kid.

"Okay, let's go."

She immediately ushered Jacob out of the house, looking quickly back at her father to smile at him. The smile immediately left her face when she saw his Rabbit. She had been in that car twice. She nearly hyperventilated in it and thrown up the second time. For now, she had to do things that made her comfortable. She said no to Angela about shopping, she said no to her father about fishing, and she'd say no to Jacob about riding in his car.

"I'll drive," she blurted out, heading over to her newly washed vehicle, happy that she always took her car keys with her just in case.

Jacob looked at her curiously. "My car remind you of something?"

Bella smiled. "Please don't joke about it."

"You know, looking at it in hindsight, it was kinda funny," he laughed and followed her.

"Were you able to wash it out well?"

Wash what out well?" he feigned to ask innocently, raising his eyebrows at her puzzled look, "Oh, yeah. You're puke. Yep, washed it out pretty well."

"You're making fun of me," Bella lightly observed.

"No, not laughing at you. Just _with _you. You gotta stop being so serious all the time, you know that?"

"I'm not," Bella replied, opening the door and sliding in. She took the few seconds it took for Jacob to walk around to the passenger side to inhale the "new car" smell that still lingered inside, as well as perform her roll-up sock ritual (only this time using lotion she kept stored in the compartment between her seat and the passenger to rub the ointment on her bare legs to replace socks) before he'd witness anything.

"I'm not used to letting the woman drive," Jacob said, attempting to ease his gigantic body into the cramped seat. He quickly figured out where the handle was to slide the seat back.

"There's a first time for everything," she responded absentmindedly, counting everything before they started off.

"Whatcha doin'?"

"Nothing."

Two mirrors. Two seats.

"Bella, you can start the car."

Fuck. Fuck Fuck. Do it quickly. Do it quick. Four wheels. Him and me. Two people. Forget the wheel.

"Bella. Earth to Bella!"

Two. Check. Two. Check. Two. Fine. That will have to do.

"Yes, I'm going!" She started the car, and quickly reversed out of the driveway.

"What was that about?"

Goddammit. He wouldn't let it go.

"Nothing."

"Yeah, it looked like you were doing nothing," he teased.

She frowned slightly.

"What did I look like?"

"Like you were concentrating real hard on something."

"Well, I just like to think sometimes," she invented.

"Like what?"

"I just like thinking. Like putting my brain to good use. It's a way to keep the juices in my brain flowing. It's good to meditate once in awhile. It's a good relaxing method. As well as saying some kind of prayer. I'm not a really religious person but I think that asking for safe traveling is perfectly alright."

Bella felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment. Why the fuck was she still talking? She didn't even make fucking sense. Prayers? Meditation? Damn. She'd do anything to cover up her shit to please this guy. If she'd allow herself to continue in such a stupid manner God knows what other verbal diarrhea would come out of her mouth. She was abducted by Aliens for that very second and had an out of body experience? She saw a vision of a saint telling her to spread the word of God? Moron.

She kept her eyes on the road, not able to even look at her handsome date.

Laughter.

Turning to look at him, she asked, "What? You don't believe me?"

"No. I think you're covering up that you had a brain fart for a moment."

"I didn't have a brain fart." She joined along with his playfulness, her embarrassment and fear of discovery easing away.

"I think you did."

"About what then?" She quickly glanced at him teasingly.

"About how attractive you find me and how you're upset like I am that our conversation on Saturday was cut short."

Her heart began to flutter.

"I wasn't thinking about that."

"Sure you were. Well, at least I was." He shrugged, smiling at her.

"I honestly forgot about it." She didn't dare look at him again. He was coming on to her again and she didn't know if she liked it or was jittery about it. Probably both.

He looked at her awhile longer, until finally asking "How was your day?"

"Good, good. My students passed their tests. Well, at least some of them."

"Was it a difficult test?"

"No, just some multiple choice questions on Midsummer Night's Dream."

He raised his eyebrows. "Wow, hadn't read that one in a long time. Didn't really like it that much. Never really got the whole Shakespeare thing."

Bella was intrigued by this; finally glad they were shifting to a topic of conversation that was comfortable for her.

"What kind of books you like to read?"

"Mechanic books," he shrugged, "Hey, don't make fun. It's what I do. I'm supposed to know everything."

"Do you know everything?"

He grinned. "Maybe. Depends on what anyone is willing to teach me."

Bella immediately focused her gaze on the road. The guy was coming on to her again. It was like he wouldn't stop. She didn't know if all guys were usually like this.

"Do you read anything else that aren't mechanic books?"

Again, he gazed at her for a moment until answering "I kind of like ghost stories. I used to read some kids series when I was about eleven. I remember Edgar Allan Poe stories. Used to like those, especially the one with the vulture eye. I made sure to remember the author in case I wanted to read it on later in life."

"The 'vulture eye' story is called "The Tell-Tale Heart"'.

Jacob's eyes lit up. "You read it?"

"Of course. I'm an English teacher." She smiled back at him.

Bella felt herself glowing from the inside out. This was going to be a good night. She could totally feel it.


	13. Chapter 13 The Very Even Dinner

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. Even though I don't answer back to all of you, I just want to let you know that your reviews always put a smile on my face. They all make me happy, even the ones with constructive criticism. For me this has been one of my favorite chapters to write...so Happy Reading!

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Chapter 13. The Very Even Dinner

Books. Books. Books. That was the subject of conversation for the remainder of the ride. It was so great to not be concerned with making a good impression-- concentrating on what you look like, concentrating on your date's appearance, making sure his car was clean and free of any pungent odors, forcing every object to match up with its other half, a pair of sorts.

The importance of these concerns took a backseat in her mind, for she was entirely engrossed by their trivial conversation. Though for Bella it couldn't be called "trivial" conversation, for it was a topic that was close to her heart and the only other time she openly talked about it was to sixty lazy, disinterested freshmen a day.

Looks were deceiving. For little did she know that the oily, dirty, greasy mechanic she met a mere two weeks ago would attempt to even know something of literature. Of course, he still wasn't as learned as she was, but she was impressed nonetheless. He liked horror stories, which was a bit of a stretch for her. The only ones that quickly flitted to her mind were classics- Frankenstein, Dracula…all of which Jacob hadn't read.

"You haven't read them? You like horror stories but haven't read them? They're classics!" she nearly screeched, half-shocked.

His eyes lit up, taken in by her sudden outburst.

Bella laughed, _really_ laughed. Laughed so much her sides were aching.

"Naw, just seen the movies. Saw the ones with Oldman and Deniro. Pretty good."

"I haven't seen them."

It was Jacob's turn to look at his date in shock. "What?"

She shook her head, confirming the negative.

"Now who feels out of the loop?" he joked, reaching his left hand out to the armrest, where Bella's covered hand rested. He placed his warm, tanned hand above hers, causing new shivers to run up and down her spine.

Bella automatically pressed the brake on the car, causing both of them to jerk forward with the motion.

"What the hell?" Jacob exclaimed, still recovering from the unexpected jolt as the roar of a honking horn whizzed by them.

Bella stepped on the accelerator, feeling pissed. Either at herself for her stupidity or at the asshole that passed her; could be both.

"Sorry," Bella responded, her heart beating so fast she swore it would burst out of her chest. "You just put your hand on mine and the car just started."

Fuck was she stupid. She silently cursed at herself. _Great way to admit that you noticed him touching your hand and admitting that you are beyond affected by it. Great, Bella. Just great._

"No, I'm sorry," he breathed, a funny expression on his handsome face, "I didn't know you'd be so…startled by it. It won't happen again."

He turned away at this, hiding a tiny smile.

But Bella was oblivious to this, for she couldn't explain the sudden lump in her throat once the strange sensation of his heated hand left her own. Out of all the stupid things she said, she now wished the one that _did_ escape her mouth was him keeping his hand there. But unfortunately her sense caught up with her, and she didn't want to look more startled than she already did.

Once Jacob felt as if he could once again wear his mask of complete indifference, he glanced at the embarrassed girl and quickly looked straight ahead. He wanted to touch her, touch her so fucking bad. If she made a move towards him, he wouldn't back away. What he told her the other day was true—he wasn't _only_ thinking of doing anything sexual with her. He wanted to get inside her head, figure her out, and see what the hell made her tick. Why the hell did she wear gloves every day? Why was she always so squeamish about getting into his car? What the hell really happened last Saturday night? Why did she freak out so bad? What made her freak out? Why did Charlie initially not want her to see him? Why did his own Dad act the same way?

His old man never disapproved of any of his previous girlfriends, not even his still super hot ex Leah. He would think that Billy would be thrilled that he was bringing a nice, "girl next door" goody-two shoes like Bella Swan for dinner, but he was less than ecstatic. He only cautioned his son about getting too close to her. Was she unstable? Was she a slut in disguise? These were the questions that kept him up day and night thinking about her. What was it about her that was so secretive?

And it didn't help any that he _did_ want her sexually. He was a man. That's what men thought of, and sex was something he had always enjoyed. Bella looked so virginal, so pure. He imagined her white skin pressed up against his chest, legs tangled, no clothes between them, just skin on skin. Her eyes would be shut, her mouth slightly opened in ecstasy as he immersed himself within her. She was probably a sex goddess. Good girls always were, and he always wanted a lady in public but a freak in the sheets. His ex-girlfriends were just freaks in general. They didn't excite him, they didn't challenge him. He got what he wanted pretty easily, he always had. And while he dreamed and begged for Bella Swan to let him touch her, kiss her…_anything_, a small part of him that he would never admit even to himself wanted her to not give into him so easily. He was secretly glad she got taken aback by his subtle move and didn't allow it to linger there—it made the final moment of them being together worth the wait.

He continued to successfully hide the turn his mind took, for he had no intention of scaring the girl off. He truly liked her—more than he should. Everything he told her was the truth...he just left out a few things.

It wasn't strange for him to take her to his Dad's house on the second date (or better yet, _she_ was taking _them_); Billy wasn't going to see her as Charlie Swan's daughter. He was going to see her as his date. It was going to go well, he was sure of it.

"Do I stay on this road?" Bella asked, interrupting his thoughts.

Jacob could tell she was still tense, still affected by what had previously occurred. But she had to make the move now. He didn't know if she was truly upset about him touching her or not, but he wasn't going to do anything else. It was up to her now.

"Yeah, just follow the curve and after the bend you will steer to your right," he smiled, "You didn't pay attention last time, did you?"

"What do you mean?"

"When I was driving you to LaPush."

"I was. I was just taken away by that cliff."

He laughed. "Scared you for life, huh?"

"You still think I wouldn't jump off it?"

"I don't think. I know so."

"Whatever. You don't know what you're talking about."

It was an off-hand remark, Jacob could tell. She knew he was right but didn't want to admit it. Girl is full of pride, just like him.

Within minutes they were parked in front of Jacob's quaint house. He made sure beforehand to pick up his sloppy room and even attempted to vacuum the floor. He probably missed some bits and skipped out on the tight, cramped corners of the living room. He figured Bella wouldn't be crazy enough to look under the sofa. He knew she liked things a little neat, but she wasn't crazy. Billy kept bugging him to keep cleaning, make everything nice for Bella. But he hated cleaning. The only thing he loved having nice and clean was the new Harley he was working on in the shed. It was like his baby, his child. He took pride in his hard work to fix that thing up. His Dad tried comparing cleaning the house to his love of his bike, but it didn't really work. He still hated cleaning the house. Doing domestic stuff wasn't his thing.

But he tried his best, and he hoped Bella was fine with it.

As the two of them walked into the living room, Bella took a couple of moments to look at her surroundings. The walls were bare, with one lone old-fashioned TV and a small couch representing the tiny family area. There was not one decoration or painting that made the house their own, or give it some kind of personality. It reminded Bella how Charlie's house first looked like when she moved there. If it wasn't for her womanly touch that she added which took more than two days, the place would've still looked like the bachelor pad that this place obviously looked like. What she wouldn't give to makeover this house. But Jacob would have to kill her first. She silently laughed at the thought.

She tried to keep cool, act calm. But looking at the mess, the smell of tobacco and some kind of indescribable soup filtering the air was enough to make her nauseous.

"You okay?" Jacob asked, for the first time that night, looking a bit concerned.

"Fine, fine."

"Bella," a deep, familiar voice called to her.

The young couple turned to see Billy Black wheeling himself towards them from the opposite hallway, a grin stretched across his tanned face.

"It's nice to see you again. Glad Jacob brought you by."

"It's nice seeing you too," she answered somewhat shyly, going over to him and placing a kiss on his cheek.

She turned to see Jacob smiling at her. It was a tender smile, full of some kind of emotion she didn't understand, one she had never seen on his face.

"Well, "Billy began as Jacob headed over to his father to help wheel him the rest of the way in, finally helping him situate himself at the head of the table.

Unlike Bella's house, there wasn't room in the kitchen for a dining table, so it was a little ways off from the kitchen, which was small enough for an entire counter top to cover. Bella sat to Billy's left side, with Jacob sitting on his father's other side, facing Bella. He still smiled at her in that indescribable way. It warmed her all the way to her toes. The food was already laid out (or rather, the soup was). It was a broccoli cheese soup- with the broccoli laid out on a separate plate on the left side of her as well as another plate to the right containing a pack of crackers. She almost freaked out at the uneven number but just taking in the napkin also to her left, the spoon on her right, and the water filled cup to the side, all was well. Jacob and Billy's plates looked the same as well, separate plates and all.

She had no idea what to say. Both men looked at her with kind faces. One glance at Billy confirmed to her rather than words from her father that he knew everything. But Jacob was an enigma. Did he know? Did Billy tell him? Just looking into his kind eyes confirmed the negative, for they seemed to tell her that everything was okay.

Jacob only wanted to please her, like he hinted at days earlier. It was something that wasn't lost upon her. And the broccoli cheese soup thing was sweet and very touching.

"Jacob told me you like broccoli cheese," Billy stated, immediately digging in.

"Yeah, I do," she responded absent-mindedly. She couldn't help but closely inspect the spoon given her.

She tried her best to not find fault with it, for she really had no intention of insulting or embarrassing her hosts, but she knew straight away from the tiny, sticky substance on the inner most part of the spoon that she couldn't eat from it.

"Shit," Jacob muttered under his breath.

Fuck. He knew. Shit. She just had to dunk it in the soup no matter what. So what if there was still something gross o n it? This was how normal people were supposed to eat, right?

_You could do it, Bella. Be a brave girl. Just eat the damn thing. Don't think about the spoon. Forget it._ _Don't make a fool of yourself in front of this perfect guy._

"I thought I cleaned it well," Jacob explained, immediately reaching over and grabbing the spoon from Bella's hesitant, trembling hands, "But I guess I missed a spot. Don't eat from it. I know I wouldn't."

Bella's eyes widened. He wouldn't? She didn't have to consume food from that nasty thing? It was actually normal to feel disgusted by it? This was amazing.

"I'm sorry," she replied, still not wanting to sound rude.

"I'll get you another one."

Oh, fuck.

"Uh, actually," she reached into her purse and reluctantly pulled out a plastic covered set of utensils, "I carry my-"

"Yeah, I forgot about that," Jacob interrupted, still holding the badly washed spoon, getting up to toss it over into the sink, " I should've figured you wanted to use your own."

Bella blushed, embarrassed that he remembered that particular detail. But then again, she figured that her quirks were too weird to easily forget.

"Yeah, sorry."

"You don't have to keep apologizing," Billy spoke up, slurping up his soup, " We're all family," he leaned in close, almost whispering in her ear, " We all put up with each other's little ticks."

She bit her lip, wanting to ask him the question that had forever been plaguing her mind but realizing that it would be the first time she would even address Billy on the subject. But she had to know. She liked Jacob too much to not know.

"Does Jacob know?" she whispered, making sure that Jacob wouldn't hear. She thanked her lucky stars that the Blacks' sink was noisy as Jacob was trying his hardest to scrub the sticky substance out. She almost felt like laughing at his cute efforts. A grown, muscular man having difficulty doing "women's work" was endearing. But she needed to know, so for the next split second, she hung on to Billy's words.

"Know what?" He smiled at her, his eyes twinkling, "Know what?" he asked again.

'There," Jacob exclaimed, returning to his seat, "All clean for next time. Now I know how to really scrub that sucker off."

"Can I see it?" Bella teased, holding out her hand.

"Aw, really Bells? Can't a man just have a good meal?" He teased in return, quickly slurping up his soup as well.

"Thanks, son," Billy chimed in.

"You mean you cooked it?"

"Of course. You really think Jake could make soup?"

"Yeah, Dad. Thanks," Jacob replied, halfway done with his soup.

It didn't escape Bella's notice that he was displaying completely different eating habits than when it was just him and her. Like father like son.

Billy and Jacob continued joking with each other, with Bella sometimes joining in. It felt as if this was a regular night with members of a family that she had always seen, and had always been a part of. She felt at home, except for the various looks passed between herself and Jacob. His eyes spoke volumes to her. Billy might have felt like family to her, but Jacob was more than that. As she felt herself blush beneath his constant gaze, she knew that she was in danger of falling into what her father warned her of. She was slowly falling for Jacob Black.

After dinner Billy left them alone, making some kind of excuse of going to bed early. Bella knew better though. The two of them were sitting side by side on Jacob's sofa, watching a wrestling match. Jacob was trying to explain the champions' strengths and weaknesses, while she could only look at him as if he was speaking Chinese.

"I'm really trying to understand but I don't," she admitted, biting her lip to keep from laughing at her own stupidity.

"It's not that you don't understand, it's that it doesn't really interest you."

She couldn't respond. He was absolutely right.

"Tell me, what kind of sports _do_ interest you?" He almost whispered to her, moving closer.

He promised himself he wouldn't touch her, let her make a move. But he couldn't help himself. Once he noticed her parted lips it was as if all trivial conversation went out the window. When a woman could keep his mind off of any game the way Bella managed to do, he knew it was something he couldn't ignore.

His dark head moved in closer to hers, his cheek brushing hers. Her breath mingled with his. Their hearts were racing.

Bella wanted him to kiss her so bad. All these weeks she had been dreaming of his sexy, too beautiful-lips-for-any-man –to-have on hers. She moved closer to press her lips against his—

"Hey, douche bag, whatcha doing watching wrestling? We have the Mariners game going on—Whoa! Sorry."

Jacob's face was tense, his eyes shooting daggers at the interrupting voice.

Two equally tall, well-built guys walked into the house unannounced, staring at the couple with what could only be described as keen interest.

"I told you guys not to come over today," Jacob hissed, getting up from the couch.

"Sorry, seriously. We forgot," a different voice replied. The voice belonged to a toned, muscular guy with long, beautiful hair that could rival Jacob's. He was a bit more bashful than his companion, who could only gaze at Bella and Jacob with what could only be described as amusement. But as he took in her appearance and gloves, the amusement turned to puzzlement.

"Well, let me refresh your memories," Jacob retorted, raising his eyebrows at them as he pushed them out the door.

"Hey, aren't you even going to introduce us to her?" the puzzled one asked, trying to fight off Jacob.

Jacob sighed, releasing his grip on his two dim-witted friends. Why the hell did they have to show up _now?_ They knew exactly who he was having over tonight.

"I'm Quil Ateara," the inquiring one asked, sticking his hand out to shake Bella's.

She glanced at her covered hands before sticking out one. Just looking at the two men she knew they weren't as clean as Jacob was. But thank God she had another pair in the glove compartment.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Bella Swan."

They both laughed.

"We know," the cocky guy said.

"What do you mean, you know?" Bella asked.

"Well," his quiet companion added, " He's always had a thing for you."

Jacob's face reddened.

"Okay, time for you idiots to get out," he exclaimed, this time pushing them roughly out the door.

"I'm Embry, by the way," the shy guy said just as Jacob closed the door in their faces.

Bella laughed at the situation. But the happy feeling was replaced by their last remark.

"What did they mean?" she asked.

"About what?"

"About you _always_ having a thing for me."

Jacob wouldn't meet her gaze. But he moved closer to her, taking her hands in his.

"I've been talking about you since the first moment I saw you."

He caressed her hand with his forefinger, which further increased the tingling sensations from her hands all the way to her toes.

"The car accident?"

He stopped caressing her hand.

"Yeah."

She smiled. She couldn't hide it anymore. She didn't want to hide how she felt about him. Fuck playing by the rules. Fuck being indifferent. She would try to be something she hadn't been in awhile…herself.

"I've been talking about you too," she looked sheepish, "well, not talking about you. But I do think about you. A lot."

He leaned in closer to her like before. Again she felt his hot breath on her cheek. Again she felt his lips so close to hers. And this time, he closed the gap between them. As his lips pressed against hers, electricity coursed throughout her entire body. Molly Ringwald was right when she said a guy who had strong lips was able to give you a feeling all over your body. Because that's what she felt. All those times she spent closing her eyes in her bedroom going over how she would kiss the perfect guy in the most perfect way all went to naught. She didn't think. She just let it happen.

Before she knew it, she was on tiptoes, trying to pull him closer. He was too fucking tall. He sensed her urgency, for she felt the ground slide from underneath her. She was in his arms, with her arms wrapped around his neck and him holding her feet- like a bride. This was too good to be fucking true. She was definitely having an Audrey night.

"Let's go to your car," he breathed in her ear, placing kisses all around her outer earlobe, "don't want my Dad walking in on us."

Her eyes widened.

"I- I don't—"

"Not that. I just want to hold you. And continue what we're doing now."

Bella couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. She smashed her lips against his. She heard the door open and felt the cool air hit her back as they continued to kiss, with Jacob parting her lips further with his tongue, deepening the kiss.

He had wanted to do this for so long, longer than Bella even knew. He didn't even remember them climbing into her nice smelling car. All he was able to concentrate on was her tiny body against his, her hands all over his hair, her soft lips pressing kisses all over his face. It was amazing. He didn't know the girl was _that_ good of a kisser.

She wanted so badly to just rip his shirt and lick his abs. She hadn't seen them fully exposed but she knew they were there. But she had to control herself. No need to give him the wrong impression.

It seemed as if they were making out for hours, neither of them saying a word. The only sounds heard were their heavy breathing.

"It's getting late," she said huskily, surprised how sexy she sounded, even to herself, "I have work tomorrow."

"Sure, sure." He had no idea what he was saying. The only thing he was conscious of was that it was coming to an end. This amazing night with Bella was over.

"I'm seeing you again," he stated, tilting her head back to place a wet kiss on her neck.

Bella would have to take an immediate shower when she got home. But right now, that kiss felt _so_ fucking good. She knew she was extremely wet, and would have to wash her newly washed panties again. Fuck.

"I want to see you too," she managed to say, pulling him closer for a deeper kiss before she reluctantly pulled away.

For the first time ever, she was too turned on, too amazed and stunned of what just occurred to even think or have the energy to perform her ritual before starting the car. She would just have to do it twice when she got back home.


	14. Chapter 14 The Even Parking Lot

A/N: Sorry it took forever to get this chapter up. I recently suffered a family loss and with finals everything got a little crazy...But don't worry. I'm back with my usual updates.

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Chapter 14. The Even Parking Lot

She hadn't taken a shower. Not even close to. For she was still in the car. Still with Jacob. Still kissing. Only this time, she managed to drive them back to her house and turn the headlights off of the car. His hands were like pools of fire traveling up and down the small of her back. She pulled him closer to her, for Bella always felt him to be too far away. His lips were like magic, making her tingle all the way to her toes.

"I have to go to work," she breathed into his neck, placing a chaste kiss on the side of his neck.

She wasn't thinking what she was doing. For the first time in her life, she just let it happen. It never occurred to her how much the human body was capable of doing or how much of a will it _really_ had all on its own, because someway, some_how_ they were in the backseat. Her legs were wrapped around his, and his warm hands traveled slowly down her back until the rested at the curve of her butt.

"Stop," She immediately brushed his hand away and looked up at him, her eyes widening.

" Sorry, I just…" Jacob could only gaze at her, not trusting himself to speak. He was in shock. The two of them just couldn't seem to keep their hands off each other. Her skin was so soft, so inviting. He loved the way she kept touching his chest. It was as if she was just waiting for him to take off his shirt.

But what could he say to her? For he was waiting for the moment she would stop their intense make-out session. He knew he went too far. But he couldn't resist.

"I'll just get going now," he finished, slowly exiting the car.

"Wait," Bella called, mentally cursing to herself as she did the condensed version of her sock ritual. It was something she made up when she was ten and she didn't want to look like a freak in front of her friends from Ballet class when her Mom would drive them home. It was the excuse. Worked like a charm back then. But now…not so much. Especially with someone as inquisitive as Jacob.

"I—I don't want you to think I don't like…."

"I don't think that. But I know my limits, "He moved closer to her, running a hand through her dark hair.

"You're like this with other girls?" she asked, immediately regretting her words. Why the fuck did she have to go run off her mouth like that?

He smiled. "What other girls?"

His lips touched her again, and Bella melted into his embrace again. Every time she kissed him now, it was as if numbers, Dad, Mom, work, , Jessica, Angela, her craziness, her fears, and her insecurities just disappeared. She felt like a bird, flying high. She didn't even resist as his tongue sought entrance into her mouth. They were like two moving spheres, intertwined. It wasn't gross like she thought it would be. It felt right. And it helped tremendously that Jacob tasted like the tic-tacs she saw him pop into his mouth the minute they got into her car.

He pulled apart from her and Bella's lightheadedness disappeared. Her feet suddenly felt firm on the ground.

"You should go to bed soon. Call you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sure," She smiled, trying to act nonchalant.

The minute he got into his car and drove off, Bella made a beeline for her car, got in, closed the door, and performed her ritual. The full one, not the abridged version. And she turned the ignition then turned it off again. She could not wait to take a shower.

Bella slammed the door to her room, locking it behind her. Opening it again, and then locking it. For the minute Charlie saw her walk through the door she heard him turn off the T.V and head over to her. She saw his mouth slightly open. But like in a film where the main character sees everything in slow motion and instead of hearing words with actual vowels and consonants, she heard one big, long vowel coming from Charlie.

And from then on, everything sped up as if someone pressed the fast forward button. For Bella dashed up the twenty-eight steps up to her room (excluding that horrid thirteenth step), slammed the door, and locked it. If her father took a good look at her he would know she had a _really_ good time. Even though the _really_ good was not the same for her as it was for him, Charlie would think it was anyway. And she was in no fucking mood to hear it. She felt a twinge of regret over her treatment of her father. It now looked like a curse that they had gotten somewhat close. But she really needed to be alone right now.

All she wanted to do was dance around her room, similar to how she gave her best Audrey impression the night after their first date. This time, she only hummed the tune to herself, for if her father heard wind of it he would come knocking at the door immediately wanting to know what happened. Since it was Charlie, he would take forever to get to the point and the two of them would both be standing around feeling awkward. Thanks, but no thanks.

Fumbling mindlessly through the myriad of pajamas in the designated section, she chose a light pink silk, spaghetti strap nightgown. It was bought on a whim in hopes of actually putting it to good use someday. Bella was excited with the idea that that day might be coming around soon. She would definitely hold out on him, hold out as long as she could. For she remembered reading somewhere that the quicker you have sex with a guy you are interested in, the sooner he will lose interest… no matter how much he likes you initially. Yeah, she would definitely hold out on Jacob Black.

But that did not mean she would stop dreaming of sleeping with him. She smiled as she headed to her throne formerly known as the bathroom.

Twenty-two objects. Perfect. But did she really doubt they would be there? Did she really doubt that Jacob Black would be less than wonderful?

She sighed, stripping off her clothes and folding them neatly over the closed lid of the toilet. The hot water cut into her back like sharp knives, finally waking her up from the stupor she was in. She was suddenly scared. Scared of him making a move such as touching her ass on their second date. He did apologize for it but it was still a very bold move.

Bella scrubbed herself extra good, rubbing her face with the lavender-scented soap. It felt so relaxing to smell so sweet. She washed herself from head to toe four times before finally ending her bliss. The resonating gong of the water pipes closing down reiterated the dread she couldn't help but feel. What would he do the next time?

Nothing. She wouldn't let him. If he should figure out the truth she would be done for. He would laugh at her and know how strange she really was. It wasn't cute.

After quickly dusting everything in sight and aligning her DVD's in an even more perfect order than they previously were, she dived into her warm, down-comforter bed. A tiny edge of a still brand new package was visible under her bed, as if beckoning Bella to use it. Her old friend.

With a groan, she reached her hand out and shoved it back under the bed, feeling her way until she was sure it was aligned properly.

No Turbo, she thought, not tonight. This time I've got a real man.

Wednesday was too fucking long. Bella woke up as early as possible in order to avoid Charlie's probing questions about her date.

But luckily he left early for work, which only made her morning increasingly better. Her work day dragged, for the students were rowdy as usual and she was still the recipient of Jessica's disgusted glances and Mike's pitying stares. Fuck them. Fuck them all.

It wasn't until lunch that she remembered her supposed session with Dr. Jenkins that afternoon. Fuck that shit too. She really didn't feel like going. All she kept thinking about was Jacob. Jacob's lips, abs, tongue, hair, eyes…everything.

Everything was such a blur to Bella that she barely noticed Angela sliding into the seat next to her during lunch, opening up her oversized lunch bag and digging away at a tuna sandwich. Bella couldn't help but wrinkle her nose in disgust. Tuna. Ech. The thing was equally as disgusting as eggs. She clutched her plastic utensils she brought from home as tight as she could (considering she wore her slippery brown gloves that day). She merely smiled at Angela and continued to eat awkwardly.

"How are you today?" her companion asked, not even bothering to wipe the bit of bread she had stuck on the side of her mouth as she glanced at Bella.

But Bella averted her gaze, staring down at her scrumptious Caesar salad.

"Good and you?" Why did she have to make everything so fucking formal?

"Good…Listen, about us hanging out…"

Bella froze, feeling her stomach drop with the weight of Angela's words. It was one thing to not feel comfortable enough to hang out with her, but it was a completely different matter knowing what your colleague was going to say—_I don't want to hang out with you. You're too boring and weird._ She knew it. Wasn't it always the same?

"It's fine. I'm pretty busy right now so…"

Angela quickly interjected, "What about Saturday?"

Bella finally turned to her, too shocked to even feel disgusted at the piece of tuna still hanging from her mouth.

"This…Saturday?"

"Yeah. Listen, I figure you think I'm like Jessica but I'm not. I feel bad about last Saturday so please let me make it up to you. I'm not doing _you _a favor; you're doing one for _me."_

"Well, when you put it that way…"

"Do you mind if we go shopping? I need to get a nice dress for my cousin's wedding," she looked around the room, making sure no one was listening, "and I hate going shopping with Jessica. She barely gives you a chance to look for the stuff you need. Always gotta stop where she wants."

As Bella took in the girl's warm, inviting smile, she let herself stop worrying. She seemed nice enough. And she forced herself to think of it as the beginning of a nice acquaintance, rather than a pity party.

"Okay, sure."

Angela beamed. "Good," she got up, quickly taking another chunk off of her sandwich and stuffing it in her face, "Gotta go back to my office. Got a meeting with one of my students."

"You have office hours now?" Bella asked, wishing the girl would just wipe that damn thing off her face.

"No, but it's a special case," Angela shrugged, and was heading out the door before Bella called her again.

"Wait!"

Her fellow teacher turned to her, a slightly annoyed look on her tuna-filled face. "Yeah?"

"Uh…" Bella pointed to the side of _her_ mouth, hoping Angela would take the hint.

The girl touched her face, feeling her way until she came to the spot where the tuna had been for a good ten minutes.

"Shit…sorry. Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Bella shrugged. "Sorry, thought you'd realize it."

"I'm pretty whatever about that sort of thing. But I definitely don't wanna look sloppy in front of a student."

Her neat companion could only force a smile, for it was beyond her how anyone could be so nonchalant about not wiping one's mouth.

"See ya later, Bella."

"See ya."

The Caesar salad she was previously enjoying suddenly looked disgusting to her. All she could picture was Angela's mouth with tuna. Not even Jacob's egg-eating was that disgusting. She was beginning to regret her rash decision of hanging out with Angela.

Something vibrated in her purse. She secretly hoped it was Jacob, but knowing how he behaved last time she figured differently.

_Wanna have lunch?_

It was him.

Fuck. Couldn't he have asked that morning instead?

_I'm having lunch now._

Bella's phone vibrated not even a minute later. Her eyes widened at his response.

_Shit. I bought you food. Forgot you work at a school. Can I still bring it over?_

Her fingers played with the keys, debating.

_When do you think you'll get here?_

_In ten minutes._

Her eyes widened.

_Okay._

He didn't respond after that. He was on his way is what it meant. She dumped what was left of her salad in the trash. Whatever he bought her she would have to eat quickly, and pretend she was hungry.

She ran down the hallway as much as her little feet could carry her without breaking a sweat. She'd conditioned herself enough throughout the years to not partake in extreme physical activity. She also learned to avoid the girls' gym lockers in school by changing in the bathrooms. Not that that wasn't disgusting in itself, but it was infinitely better than the smell of old socks and sweat that permeated the entire room. Forks High was probably the same. But Bella felt no inclination to find out.

Once her covered hands opened the thick, red doors leading to the front of the school, the vision of Jacob Black in a tight, white t-shirt and loose fitting jeans was enough to make her weak in the knees. But some way, somehow her legs began taking giant strides on their own accord, pacing themselves forward. One step. Two step. Three step. Four step. It took her twenty-four long, even, steps to finally reach him. Her brown eyes squinted up at his, barely noticing the white bag he carried with him.

Jacob smiled at her, inclining his head toward his rabbit.

Bella gave him a knowing look.

"I was at the shop today. Just vacuumed and washed the thing."

He opened the door for her, ushering her in.

As Bella took a long whiff just to make sure it didn't smell like cabbage, she was glad that the odor reminiscent of a brand new car filled her nostrils. Better. Much better. She quickly looked behind her in the backseat and let out a sigh of relief that it wasn't cluttered with a myriad of shit like that on that fateful first date.

"Yeah, cleaned that shit out too," Jacob replied as he climbed into the driver's seat beside her.

They gazed into each other's eyes again, with Jacob placing the white bag in the backseat. And before they even knew it, their lips mashed together just like the previous night. Bella easily allowed his tongue access. The now familiar tingles raced through her entire body. The school disappeared. The possible faculty and students who were probably watching Miss Swan make out with some buff Indian guy disappeared. All that she was conscious of was him. All that she smelled was him. Cologne and a bit of old spice. Bella knew she would now associate those two scents with the smell of a man.

He pulled her close to him, her body molding into his just like the previous night. He kissed her cheeks, nose, and once he began nibbling her ear she knew she was wet with excitement.

She couldn't take it anymore. She still had some of her senses

Before Bella knew it, her legs were spreading apart, wrapping themselves around his waist. Her body had a mind of its own. She had to take a fucking hold of herself.

"Bella," he panted, eyeing their new position, his hand suddenly stroking her left thigh, "I want you so bad."

"Jacob, we shouldn't do this."

Oh, great. She was turning him down yet she was the one who made the move, didn't matter that it was unintentionally.

He quirked an eyebrow. "You don't want to make out?"

"Yes," she interjected, feeling foolish, "I do. Just…not here."

Jacob suddenly seemed to notice where they were.

"I'll drive around then."

He turned on the ignition and drove to a secluded corner around the far left side of the building where barely any students parked.

"What about now?"

"Fine."

They didn't even bother with small talk but resumed their previous activity. His hands moved up and down her back while he placed a trail of kisses down her neck.

Fuck. She was definitely going to be late to her doctor's appointment today. Another shower was needed as soon as she left work. Too bad the only showers in Forks High were in that rotten, infested gym locker room, for she seriously was considering showering off Jacob's saliva off her neck. But it felt so good. How could something so gross feel so amazing? She was a freak.

Bella groaned as he licked the outer lobe of her ear, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

To Jacob, this was his ultimate dream. He'd fantasized about Bella Swan for the past week. He'd beaten off every night, imagining her just like this. Only naked. He hadn't planned it. Really, he hadn't. But last night had opened a flood of desire for her that he'd kept locked up these past two weeks just trying to get a date with her.

The only sounds heard in the car for a few good minutes was their labored breathing, and a few groans escaping them. Neither of them knew who made what sound, for they were so caught up in each other that they failed to hear the light knock at the passenger window.

First knock.

Second knock.

Third loud knock.

Bella jumped in her seat, immediately shoving Jacob away from her, realizing where she was. A sandy-haired man stared at them. Pure embarrassment was evident on his rosy face, but the creased lines on his forehead brought Bella back to reality.

She got out of the car.

"Mike, please don't tell anyone. I'm sorry."

Mike gasped, completely bewildered. "Bella, you're on school grounds. Can you imagine if a student or another teacher saw you?"

"Yeah, I know."

"You're lucky I'm nice and I'm not gonna tell."

She couldn't help but raise her eyebrows. " What?"

Mike quickly jerked his head every which way, before finally returning his gaze to his frightened and nervous colleague.

"I really don't want to decide how I'd tell Principal Fuller what I saw," he averted his gaze, coughing loudly. He then pointed to Bella's chest.

The top three buttons of her blouse were open, showing the sides of her bra. Bella quickly covered herself, not able to meet Mike's gaze.

She heard the car door slam, and a deep voice resonated behind her.

"I'm really sorry; I was just dropping off Bella's lunch…"

"But she already had lunch. She was just in the lunchroom," mike said suspiciously, his eyes shifting from one to the other.

Jacob had the audacity to laugh, but it was cut short by cold, brown eyes staring back at him.

"Listen, nobody saw anything and Bella isn't gonna get in trouble, right?"

Mike sighed, running ha hand through his hair. "No, I won't tell."

"Good."

The three of them stood awkwardly, looking every which way instead of at each other.

"Okay, then. See you, Bella," an uncomfortable voice declared, finally breaking the silence.

Bella didn't even attempt to watch Mike's retreating back, for she was too mesmerized by Jacob's smirk.

"I have to go back to class," she smiled, immediately affected by his casual demeanor. He never worried about anything the way she did. She should have been hyperventilating over their being discovered. But with him, she felt okay, good even.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself. I really was bringing you lunch, though."

"Yeah, I know," she said, noting the forlorn white bag still in the backseat of the car.

"See you this afternoon?" He was hopeful, eager. He didn't focus on her face though. Jacob was too busy eyeing her from head to toe.

"I can't…I have to go to the doctor."

He frowned. "Is it serious?"

"No," she lied, "Just a routine check-up."

"Alright, then. Hope everything is fine," he nodded, getting into the car, "I'll call you tonight. For real this time. So don't get all upset like last time."

Bella smiled. "Oh, shut up."

As he started the car and put it on reverse, he lowered the window, his gaze still focused on just below her face.

"Maybe we can continue what we started later, but I suggest you get yourself ready before going to class."

And with one last smile, he sped off.

It only took a second for Bella to comprehend his meaning, for one look down her still open shirt caused a gasp to escape her lips. Quickly buttoning herself up, she headed back into the building, and straight to the bathroom. She'd give herself an extra scrub on her face and neck. Her hair must be a mess. Thank God she brought combs, soap, and even face wash. For she needed it.

_Asshole._ He told her nothing. At least Mike had the decency to mention something. What if a student had seen her? She was beginning to freak out again, and couldn't wait to talk to Dr. Jenkins.


	15. Chapter 15 The Even Session

A/N: Thank you guys for the wonderful reviews as well as your condolences. They always mean a lot to me. This chapter has been one of my favorites to write. Hope you enjoy!!!

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Chapter 15. The Even Session

"How've your two days been since I last saw you?"

The words reverberated in Bella's mind, forcing itself into her consciousness just when she was trying her darndest to block it out. Dr. Jenkins' office was cluttered. Papers, binders, and three little tea bags were scattered on her heavily piled desk. The tea bags stared at her. She could have sworn she saw six black spots on them resembling eyes poking fun at her, daring her to walk over to them and swipe each of them away. She sighed—she was losing her mind today. Now Mike was looking at her like the commodity she was (just like Jessica Stanley did). But Bella could tell he also looked at her disapprovingly, just like a parent catching a child grabbing cookies from a cookie jar, she saw him shaking his head at her in the hall. But _now_ knowing Mike, he would never tell Principal Fuller.

"Tough."

"How so?"

"Just…I don't know," Bella mumbled, running a rough, overly- hand washed black knitted hand through her hair, "Work sucks."

It was so true. She had spent a good portion of the afternoon brushing her teeth at least twenty times, with her asking her trustee student, Aaron, to watch the class as she would go to the restroom and scrub herself clean of any trace of Jacob. It was an ironic act. For she constantly craved his touch but still felt the need to erase it once she had it.

"May I ask what happened?" Dr. Jenkins glanced casually at her patient, taking in her twiddling thumbs, the flickering chocolate brown eyes in the direction of her desk, and the pursing of her lips every few seconds. She knew she should have cleaned her desk more thoroughly and was just about to do so before she thought better of it. Her patients should never get the better of her. Sessions were her domain, her throne, and she would rule it whichever way she liked.

"I got caught doing something I wasn't supposed to do."

"Such as?"

"I was…well…I was hanging out with a guy in the school parking lot," Bella half-whispered, only semi-concentrating on the conversation. For those three shithead teabags still gazed at her menacingly, rudely, mockingly. Goddamn, she hated psychiatrists.

Dr. Jenkins had the audacity to laugh, "You have a boyfriend now?"

"Why you ask? I can't have a boyfriend?"

The therapist put her hands up in defense, "No, no, no. I don't mean that at all. Just asking in general."

"Well, in general…I hope he can be my boyfriend."

There. She said it. The idea had been festering inside Bella for the past two days now. The more she saw of him, the more she liked him. Jacob being her boyfriend had a nice ring to it. Imagining that she had someone who could be called her boyfriend was enough to make her giddy. Charlie was right; she was already invested in him. But somehow, Bella knew Jacob wasn't like any other guy—he was sweet, caring, and easy to talk to. His constant, cheerful demeanor and casual outlook on life helped her to briefly forget about all the little things she did _not_ take so casually. Bella barely knew him, but she knew that.

"That's good, Bella. Good that you're finding someone to connect to."

"Charlie didn't seem to think so," Bella retorted, her father's hurtful words after that fateful Sunday brunch rang in her ears. No matter what he thought now to the contrary, his initial opinion still pissed her off. Every time she thought about it, she felt her toes curled up and heat flush throughout her body. Everything tensed up.

"But what does he think now?" Dr. Jenkins took in Bella's new posture curiously, her interest piqued. She felt anxious to get through these preliminary, beginning-of-the-session questions and get to the gritty part—the examination on Bella. The doctor already knew what the results would be, but she needed Bella to know it as well, and was dying to start treatment on her other problem immediately.

In a tiny town such as Forks, a subject like Bella was a rare find. Isabella Swan was what therapy sessions were made of. Dr. Jenkins' day consisted of patients going through divorce, patients going through a death in the family, patients suffering from a mild disorder like Attention Deficit. All of them valid and traumatizing enough to qualify for treatment, but Ms. Swan's phobias that almost proved her to be handicapped were more than one layer. Dr. Jenkins liked to envision her troubled patient as an onion—a nice, pearly, tear-inducing onion that she would have to peel off layer by layer, slowly…slowly…slowly until she could lay every individual part out on her desk and concentrate on each one. Maybe poke them a bit, examine under a microscope each strand of texture. But right now she would poke at one of Bella's layers—the one nobody cared about, or yet, nobody knew about.

"He's always liked Jacob," Bella replied, snapping Dr. Jenkins out of her brief stupor.

"Jacob's his name?"

"Yeah, he's really nice."

"But why didn't he like him?" Dr. Jenkins inquired, leaning forward on the plush couch, fingering the edge of the file lying on her lap, thinking of an opportune moment to give Bella the questions to answer. She should have done it at the beginning of the session. But she was so accustomed to asking her patients how they were doing that it was second nature to her. Her mouth opened, her throat making vowel and consonant sounds of their own accord.

"He didn't want me to get into a relationship," Bella shifted uncomfortably in her seat, her attention still focused on those dreadful teabags. Dr. Jenkins probably put them there on purpose to test her. The woman couldn't have left them there by accident, especially knowing how freaked out she got about the stain on the couch during their first session. It was a test. She felt it deep in her bones.

"Why not?"

"He says I tend to become too clingy."

Dr. Jenkins smiled, "Were those his words exactly?"

"No. I forgot exactly what he said but that was the general idea."

"Uh-huh," the Doctor began flipping through her file, feeling that it was just the perfect time to begin the examination, "Bella, there's something…"

"What do you think?"

Dr. Jenkins blinked, "About what?"

"Uh, me dating? _Can_ I date? Is it something I'm incapable of doing?"

"I don't know. What do you think?"

Bella sighed, "I don't know. That's why I'm asking you."

The doctor attempted a smile, hiding the annoyance she suddenly felt at her plans being thwarted, "Well, it obviously bothers you if you felt the need to talk about it."

She was right, Bella couldn't deny that. It surprised her that she would even offer to mention certain pieces of information to Dr. Jenkins of her own will. The constant questions from her other psychiatrists annoyed the shit out of her. Her inclination towards telling this woman what was bothering her was new and a bit unsettling. It was damn right uncomfortable.

"I—I hate the fact that he thinks that of me."

Rustling of papers broke the couple of seconds' silence that Bella's statement caused as Dr. Jenkins' hands flipped through twenty pages of her leather-bounded notebook, finally settling on the twenty-first page and Bella could only focus on the movement of her ballpoint pen. It made short, swirling strokes on the paper. Short and to the point. It wasn't a big observation then. No more than a word or two. Good.

"Do you believe what he says is true?" Dr. Jenkins rarely steered a conversation towards an outcome she wanted. It was ingrained in her head since grad school that one was supposed to allow the patient to bring the sessions to whatever direction they ended up in. Let the patient have some sort of epiphany, and just listen to their problems. But she couldn't do that today. She wanted Isabella Swan on the proper medication as soon as possible.

"I--," Bella faltered, lowering her gaze to the newly vacuumed carpet, "I guess."

"Have you been too emotionally attached in other relationships?"

"Yeah, I guess," she repeated, not liking where their conversation was going at all.

"Tell me about them."

The now timid girl sighed. She now remembered why she hated shrinks in the first place, and silently cursed her father in paying for her to come here which gave her no option but to agree.

"There is no _them_," she whispered.

Dr. Jenkins strained to hear the girl. But once she did, she completely understood. It was that light bulb that on various occasions flashed in her head. She loved that light bulb, for it signified a new layer had been peeled, and would bring her close to providing a true diagnostic. Taking out the now weathered edge of her questionnaire file, she carefully laid it out next to her on the couch. It could wait. She was getting closer to something very interesting.

"Do you mean---"the doctor couldn't help but ask.

Miss Swan immediately took her meaning, for her eyes widened at the realization, "No, not that. I…just haven't dated a lot."

"If you mind my asking, how many guys have you dated?"

"One."

Dr. Jenkins nearly coughed up a lung, placing a hand over her chest to steady herself; she forced a mask of indifference. It was never acceptable to show any kind of grand emotion in relation to a patient's life. She mentally cursed herself for breaking two of the cardinal rules in one session. Excellent.

Bella understood though. She understood Dr. Jenkins' cough, understood her trying to calm herself down, and most definitely understood _why_ she would be so surprised. She understood, but she didn't like it. It was just something else that made her a freak.

"I know, it's fucking sad. Isn't it?"

"No, not sad. It's different for everybody."

Bella smiled, "But it shouldn't be so different for someone my age, right?"

Dr. Jenkins chose to avoid the question, "Is it that you're afraid of intimacy?" The doctor closed her eyes, knowing she continued to break the cardinal rule. She then completely ruled out that notion and decided to pursue her interrogation accordingly. They weren't getting to her examination so she would just have to do an oral one.

"What like actual sex itself or a relationship?"

"Both."

"Well,…" she immediately thought of Jacob kissing her in the car, his opening the door for her, his endearing text messages , his making broccoli cheese soup for her…." No, not the relationship. The sex probably."

Dr. Jenkins said nothing, only insisted on looking at Bella curiously. Bella fidgeted.

"I---I didn't have a good experience with my last boyfriend," her voice wavered, unsure if she should go on. It was a subject she didn't even want to think about. It was too embarrassing, and it still pissed her off enough to make her blood boil.

"I don't wanna talk about it."

Dr. Jenkins' fingers found their way to the edge of the examination paper, contemplating just telling her to take the damn thing.

"That's all right," she finally said, giving Bella a ballpoint pen and presenting to her the long-awaited questionnaire, "If you don't wanna talk you can at least fill this out."

The girl tentatively took the sheet, relieved that the doctor decided not to press the subject.

"Take your time. I'll just move to my desk and you can tell me when you're finished."

As Bella glanced at the questions, she saw that they seemed straightforward enough. But they were just strange, and seemed unrelated to her.

_At times I am much more talkative or speak much faster than usual._

Rarely. She only talked a considerable amount when she was excited about something, so excited that it didn't matter what she said or if she sounded stupid. It was how she felt about literature. Which was the main reason she became a teacher. She could talk about something she loves and knows about without worrying about saying something stupid.

Answer: Quite a lot.

_I get into moods where I feel very speeded up or irritable._

She didn't even have to think about it. Answer: very much.

_For no apparent reason I sometimes feel __**very**__ angry and hostile._

A queasiness formed in the pit of her stomach. She didn't like this little questionnaire at all. Memories of her recent freak out in the bathroom when Jessica was trying to transform her into a slut rushed up to the surface of her consciousness as quick as the speed of light. She was surprised she didn't make a hole in the wall with her unjustifiable anger.

Answer: Very much.

_At times I am greatly interested in being with people and at other times I just want to be left alone with my thoughts._

Looking at the familiar words on that white piece of paper was as if she had written something in a journal entry summing up everything she has felt for the past couple of years. There were certain people she had the need to be with—like Jacob, and sometimes her mother when she was in Phoenix. But there were other times as well that she just didn't want to talk to anyone. It was a clusterfuck of emotions that consisted of wanting human contact but cringing at the idea of someone strange speaking to her. She felt this way for a long time but couldn't put her thoughts into words…until now.

Answer: Very much.

_My self-confidence ranges from self-doubt to equally great overconfidence._

This one troubled her greatly. There had been some instances that she felt super content with, but mostly those stemmed from her having to tell herself to feel good about herself. For Bella could think of a million people who were prettier, smarter, and overall better than her. Her mind told her she was equally as good as all of them, but her heart told her a different story. Her insecurity prevented her from being completely comfortable with others, and her phobias and paranoia made her more self-conscious of her being a freak.

Answer: Quite a lot.

The last question was the big shocker.

_At times I have been much more interested in sex than usual._

This was completely wrong. For Bella thought of her and Jacob in her bed, in her shower, in her car naked for the past two weeks. And before that, with anyone. She always had sex on the mind. But she considered that to be normal. But God help her if she would admit any of this to Dr. Jenkins.

Answer: Not at all.

"Done," she exclaimed, surprised at the relief in her voice.

"Good, good," Dr. Jenkins replied absentmindedly, her whole entire body seemed concentrated on that one piece of paper. It would decide if her conclusion towards Bella's myriad of phobias and almost anti-social behavior was due to something else.

Smiling to herself at the circled marks, Dr. Jenkins placed the sheet inside the folder belonging to Isabella Swan, folded her hands neatly in front of her, and took in Bella's dainty little gloves on her dainty little hands and her troubled expression. The girl was confused. That was for certain.

"Bella, just by looking at your answers I can easily say that you are bordering on a disorder known as Bipolar."

"What?"

Dr. Jenkins sighed, "It's not anything bad. It basically means that you shift between extreme mood swings which I think, if we treat it, would help a lot in suppressing your Obsessive compulsive tendencies."

Bella said nothing; she could say nothing. The idea that she had more problems to add on to the list was enough to drive her fucking crazy. Her stomach churned. She felt sick.

"It's okay," Dr. Jenkins continued, immediately noting the shaking of Bella's hands. Before she knew what she was doing, she was beside the girl on the sofa. No physical contact was made though. The doctor had enough sense not to, "It's treatable. Just like everything else. I think the reason this medication hasn't been working is because you need to take another medication that balances everything out. We were concentrating on one aspect instead of treating everything as a whole."

"Bella, human beings are very complex. Don't think of this as being placed into two specific categories. I told you this just so you will know. But from now on, we are just treating you for whatever you feel. What you have now explains a lot, and I wanted to know to better understanding how to make you feel better."

Her patient only nodded, for a rush of emotions surfaced itself to the consciousness of her being. Emotions that she could easily name. Anger. . Shame. The blow this news caused was enough to make her run out the door and never go into therapy again. Fuck what her father said. She wouldn't go through this shit again.

"Bella, you never had another doctor try to examine you for this disorder before? You have never heard before that you possibly could suffer from this?" She knew she shouldn't have asked that question. But it seemed fairly obvious to her; the test was only to confirm what she already knew. It only troubled her that with Bella's plethora of psychiatrists in her file, that none of them picked up on this possibility. The doctor tried to suppress the feeling of accomplishment that lurked deep within her, begging to surface itself. But she quickly pushed that feeling away.

"No, they didn't even care about what I thought. They only asked me if I was fine and if I was they would just keep giving me the same shit and if not, they would up the prescription."

Dr. Jenkins nodded, as if deep in thought. "Well, I'm not going to be like that, as you already know. Just trust me, Bella. Everything will be fine. Now that I know what's actually needed to fully treat you, I can do that."

Bella relaxed in her seat, not because she really believed what Dr. Jenkins was saying, but only because she felt tired that day, and didn't give a shit anymore.

"Fine."

A silence filled the room, for Dr. Jenkins was hesitant on telling her patient what she knew she wouldn't like. But in her mind, it had to be done.

"Bella, I was also thinking of having you enroll in a sort of group meeting for people with similar problems. It'll be good for you to relate to others so you don't feel alone, like you do now."

"I don't think going to group meetings will help any," Bella said bitterly. No fucking way was she going to talk to other people about her problems and hear them talk about theirs.

"Just try it. At least once. It's good to meet new people suffering the same thing so you don't have to feel inadequate. Even though you're perfectly capable of developing relationships with other people…like your Jacob," she smiled at Bella, hoping she would cheer up, "Which I think you still should pursue, no matter what your father thinks."

"Thought. What he thought."

"Yes, what he thought. At least try it. There's a meeting by the old Presbyterian Church tomorrow night and I'd like you to just give it a try."

Bella sighed. She would be nervous, she knew she would hate it and wouldn't talk to anybody. But a part of her wanted to meet new people, to actually be the friendly one and make friends with everyone there. But she knew she wasn't that kind of person, though she wanted to be.

"Fine."

Those words sounded like death looming over. She was going to her death sentence. Talking to freaks like her. Great.

The prescriptions Dr. Jenkins gave her was Effexor, which she was to take with the other shit she was already taking. Three pills now to pop into her mouth. Fucking great.

After she did her car ritual and was driving home, she felt the urge to call Angela. Right now, hanging out with her looked a lot more appealing than going to that freak meeting. She at least had her phone number, which was a good thing.

.Ring. It took four rings before her co-worker picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Angela. It's Bella."

"Hey, what's up?"

"I---I wanted to see if we could hang out on Friday instead of Saturday."

"Uh—sure. We'll meet by the parking lot then after work?"

"Yeah, sure."

And with that, all the plans were settled. If something wrong happened at this freak meeting she would immediately bounce back with someone stable like Angela. All she wanted to do was call Dr. Jenkins up and tell her to hell with this shit.

She talked to Jacob that night on the phone. He called her but she told him to call back in a few minutes, for she still hadn't showered and vacuumed her bedroom. And since she was looking forward to their conversation, she didn't want anything standing in the way of it. Everything had to be done before she would have her leisure time…and Jacob definitely was leisure time. The sad thing was that she already imagined him as her boyfriend. When she thought of him, when she talked to him she associated it with having a day-to-day conversation with her significant other. But when she called him back two hours later, he didn't comment on it but just proceeded to talk in a regular manner over their conversation lasted for two hours and twelve minutes. Bella remembered the conversation she had with her doctor about getting too emotionally invested. It was true. For she felt herself falling in love with Jacob Black. He was so wonderful, so unlike any guy she had ever met. She imagined their relationship to be like Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett. She was disgusted with him in the beginning, but slowly grew to love him. It was amazing.

"What do you say if I take you to First Beach on Saturday?"

"In La Push?"

She heard Jacob's deep laughter ring through her ears, and nearly melted, "Of course. Where else?"

"Don't know. Just asking. I feel like a tourist here. I barely know everything about Forks, so…"

"It's okay. I'll show you everything you need to know. I'm a great guide."

Bella could just imagine Jacob shining his pearly whites at the notion. But then she remembered they way the rest of the tribe members stared at her at Harry Clearwater's. She wasn't welcome, and the thought of the beautiful Leah glaring at her menacingly was enough to chill her bones.

"I don't know Jacob. I don't want people staring at me funny like last time."

She heard him sigh.

"We could go to Second beach if you want. I'd go there a lot when I was younger just to get away from it all."

"It's isolated?"

"Totally."

"Uh—okay then." A deserted beach with her and Jacob sounded comforting, yet sexy.

The funny thing was that throughout their two-hour conversation, not once did he mention the parking lot incident. Did he think it embarrassed her? Did he not like them making out? As she brushed off a piece of lint from her blouse she decided she wouldn't think of these ridiculous ideas any further. And instead, made the decision of filling her brain with positives. Jacob probably didn't want to talk about it on the phone. He would rather see her in person than speak of something he couldn't do at that moment.

"Hey, I gotta go to bed," Bella finally said regretfully as she glanced at the clock on her nightstand reading ten o' clock, "Got work tomorrow."

"Okay, call you."

Freak meeting tomorrow. Shopping with Angela on Friday. Beach with Jacob on Thursday. Great, but the first one she could definitely do without.

* * *

Unfortunately for Bella, Thursday could have gone just a tad bit slower. For what felt like only minutes, her seventh period class were almost leaping off their desks and heading for the door, eager to finally leave school after a long, grueling day.

The day was too fucking short. She tried telling herself that everything was going to be okay. Forced confidence was better than nothing. During her lunch period, she even restocked and re-alphabetized her entire book collection just to gain some control over her life. The Effexor pill did nothing so far, but she wasn't surprised. Bella knew the drill—pills only take effect after a few days, maybe a week or more. But she was impatient. She was dead-set on eliminating any insecurities she had bottled up inside due to her night meeting. It was ridiculous to have such intense butterflies. Bella was going to meet people similar to her, others who had their own agendas just like she did. Forcing herself to feel comfortable with this fact, she went through the day not caring if her students noted her constant shuffling of her papers while they took a mini-test on the use of foil between the four lovers in _A Midsummer Night's Dream_, not caring if her co-workers saw her cut up her krispy kreme doughnut with a fork and knife, and not caring if every female student saw her scrubbing imaginary grime off her hands so roughly that little patches of blood trickled down into the sink. Bella didn't fucking care. Neatness and cleanliness kept her calm somehow, and that's all that mattered at this point.

Jacob didn't text message her throughout the day and Angela quickly caught on to her maniacal tendencies and left her alone, only giving her reassuring smiles throughout the day. Bella was beginning to think Angela was a saint.

But five o'clock rolled along too quickly, and Bella walked to her car, humming the Darth Vader theme as she rigorously performed her car ritual.

The Old church was easy to find, for it was one of the only Presbyterian churches in town, and Bella wondered how many people would be there.

Once she pulled up to the quaint, white building, she spent a considerable amount of time checking that everything was even. Two mirrors. Check. Two wheels. Check. Two back wheels. Check. Four seats. Check. She checked everything multiple times before she mentally forced herself to get out of the car. She saw five people go into the church, and to make herself look busy and not like the pathetic loser she was, put her cell phone to her ear and just began mouthing words, making it seem as if she was busy talking on the phone. No one had to know how nervous and scared she was.

But just as she bent her head in order to pretend to look for something, she heard a tap on her window. Turning up to look in the direction of the noise, she saw a smiling, pixie-haired girl eagerly waving at her. Alice. Heat flushed her cheeks as she remembered the kind girl helping her from a fate worse than death at the club. This girl was a witness to one of the biggest freak outs she ever went through, and it embarrassed the shit out of her.

Alice kept mouthing to her, so Bella reluctantly lowered the window.

"Bella, nice to see you. You here for the meeting?"

"Ye—Yeah. Nice to see you too, Alice. You go to these things?" she asked hopefully, her spirits feeling a lot better knowing that someone so full of positive energy like Alice could be there beside her. For she still hadn't forgotten how good she felt when she was with her, even for one moment such as in the nightclub.

"No," Alice replied with a tiny, ringing laughter, "I just came to drop my brother off. He's the one that goes to these meetings."

"Oh, your brother from the club?" Bella quickly pictured the tall, extremely buff bouncer who was super-friendly with her being with her in the group, being so jovial that he would make the other rejects look like blemishes on a canvas. She couldn't imagine why the hell he would be there.

Alice's laugh told all. It wasn't that brother.

"No, not Emmett. My twin brother, Edward. His therapist forces him to go here. He needs it though," Alice glanced at the now extremely troubled girl, and moved closer to her, making a point to speak to her softly, "He's not the friendliest of guys and I think he would kill me if I just started randomly talking about him like that with other people."

Bella could only nod nervously, "Yeah, I see."

"This your first time here?"

"Yeah, and I'm pretty nervous."

"Don't be. Everyone here is just as nervous as you are. Trust me; I drive Edward here every week. I should know. They all look like train wrecks when the y first go in."

"And when they come out?"

"Alright," Alice answered, and shrugged her shoulders.

As Bella watched the last pairs of people entering the building, she plucked up the courage to step out of her car. Alice's positive energy was intoxicating. And it was just her luck that she should find her again. Bella always believed in kindred spirits, reading about it a long time ago in various books of her childhood made her grow a partiality towards the idea. But it wasn't until now that she truly believed in it. Somehow, Alice was meant to be her friend. She just knew it, and knowing that Alice would be out here in the parking lot every week made the whole thing a bit more bearable.

"Yeah, better get going."

"Okay, see you in a bit."

Without looking back, Bella walked up the five steps into the tiny church and slowly opened the door towards the right of the main chapel door that said _Mood Disorder Support Group,_ and stepped inside. She expected the room to be bustling with people trying to find seats but it was quite the opposite. The twenty-five people that were already in the room excluding herself were all seated in a circle of what Bella took it to be a Sunday school classroom, and all the attention was focused on one individual. An individual whose musical tone stopped abruptly once the door opened. The extremely handsome man's green eyes gazed into her own; an annoyed, almost angry look crossed his face.

"You know a meeting is going to turn out extremely horrible when someone decides to come in late and interrupt one's talk of the day. That person should be timelier."

The sneer in his voice was enough to cause Bella to faint. She saw the young man take in her entire appearance with scrutiny, his eyes lingering to her gloved hands. Never had she felt more embarrassed and ashamed over her disability than at that moment.

"Edward, don't be so rude," said a more welcoming, female voice. The woman who spoke was in the center of the circle, her red hair tied back in a very messy ponytail and her spectacles falling down the bridge of her nose. She smiled warmly at Bella, and gestured towards the empty seat beside her, "Come and sit here, and after Edward finishes, you can introduce yourself."

Bella Swan had no idea how she walked the thirty-eight steps to her seat, or how she was able to stand being in such close proximity to the extremely unpleasant man. Because from the huffing she heard coming from his general direction, she knew that she had struck a chord with the guy, and couldn't believe that such a nice, friendly girl like Alice could have such a monster for a brother.


	16. Chapter 16 The Odd Realization

A/N: Thank you everyone again for the wonderful reviews. Without much delay, I give you the next chapter. Happy Reading!

* * *

Chapter 16. The Odd Realization

"I'll continue from where I left off before I was so rudely interrupted," he chose that exact moment to shoot a scrutinizing glare at Bella, before turning away and resuming to a look of indifference, " Well, I've been feeling the same as usual. Mother and Father decide not to pay attention to me as usual, while I have to conform myself to hearing Emmett and his idiotic girlfriend make a loud raucous in his bedroom in the middle of the night."

The rest of the group chuckled hesitantly at his remark, not sure whether Edward intended it to be a joke or not. Bella could see that there was no way to tell, for the mask of indifference that the strange man wore at that point was even more unsettling than his former menacing gaze in her direction. Heat flushed the nape of her neck, traveling down to her stomach, where it settled itself and caused her extreme discomfort. Edward Cullen was _very _intimidating, and Bella made up her mind immediately that she would never return to this freak show. She'd give Dr. Jenkins a piece of her mind—she could take this brilliant idea of hers and shove it up her ass.

"Is it the noise they make that bothers you or is it something else?" the woman who obviously was in charge asked him, her voice sounding more disinterested than Dr. Jenkins. Just by her stiff, unconnected body language Bella could tell that she was not particularly fond of Edward as well.

"Everything bothers me. Their happiness bothers me. The way that they all think of me as a nuisance and don't care bothers me. My family is so easy to read; they're like an open book. They act as if they truly want to help me but I know better. If it wasn't for appearances sake I would be shipped off to boarding school or better yet, a mental institution."

At his last words, Bella noted the fourth person to her left shift slightly in her seat. It was a subtle motion, but Bella observed it all the same. She was pretty sure Edward did as well, for his head flicked towards the timid, mousy girl, his green eyes gleaming, "Am I making you uncomfortable, Vanessa?"

"No, not at all Edward."

"No, I think I am. I always seem to have that affect on you, don't I? You know my family aren't the only people who are easy to read. You, my dear Vanessa, fall into that category perfectly."

The leader of the group quickly interjected, "Edward, Have you spoken to your parents about your feelings?"

God damn. This woman sounded just like Dr. Jenkins. They must be co-conspirators in making her life a living hell.

Edward laughed bitterly, "Of course not. You suggest that every week and obviously I am not going to do it. It's pointless and a waste of my time. They only smile and nod their heads, not understanding me at all. It just makes me sick."

"Well," the woman said, folding her hands over her lap, "Maybe you just need to find a common ground with them. We touched on this briefly last week but I think you tried to deter the conversation—"

"I didn't try to deter," Edward interrupted, sighing, "I succeeded, and you know it."

Bella couldn't prevent her mouth from dropping open. She looked at the others to see if they were as shocked as she was over this guy's audacity. What an asshole. And she thought she was rude before to her shrinks. But this was downright embarrassing-for her, the other participants of the group, and the group leader.

"Edward, please," the leader pleaded, lowering her voice to almost a whisper. But unfortunately for her, one could hear a pin drop with how silent the room had become. Beads of sweat formed at her brow, slightly disgusting Bella. As she glanced briefly at Edward, she saw his nose wrinkle in disgust as well. Good. She wasn't the only one who thought the woman should at least wipe her soaking wet face with a handkerchief.

"I am done with my woes for the week. Maybe we can all indulge in the new girl's agenda for awhile. Let's see what ails this girl so much that she is forced to join us."

"Nobody forced her—"

"We are all forced to be here," Edward interrupted for a second time, his voice remaining calm and soothing. The contrast between his soft voice and his biting remarks only made him more frightening than he already was. For that was Bella's most dominant feeling towards him—fear. For some reason, she feared him emotionally. He could very easily cut her with his words and she didn't like the way he looked at her and everyone else in the room—as if they were tiny roaches he could crush with the heel of his Prada hush puppies.

"Edward," the woman said, straightening herself in her seat, finally taking control over the situation, "I think it's time for you to do your favorite exercise."

"No."

"Yes, do it now or I will have to call your sister in again."

Bella automatically raised her eyebrows without thinking, only to meet with another one of Edward's deadly stares. But she couldn't help it, for she was intrigued by what sweet, petite Alice could possibly o or say to shut up her tyrant of a brother.

"There will be no need for that. I'll go," Edward replied reluctantly, his green eyes scanning the room, "My choice is the lovely Jessica." It was sarcastic, sardonic. And it chilled Bella to the bone.

She felt sorry for Vanessa as the girl's lip slightly trembled, placing her hands underneath her chair and propelling herself forward and at an angle, facing Edward.

Vanessa took a breath and addressed him, "Is there something you want to tell me, son?"

"Yes, the cookies you baked last night were tasteless and rough around the edges. You should find something you excel at instead of subjecting the rest of the family with your desperate need to be June Cleaver and make something of yourself, and not always available at Dad's beck and call like a lovesick puppy."

For a split second, Vanessa looked shocked. Her mouth hung open in slight surprise before she forced herself to close it shut. With lips pressed together in a thin line, she formulated a response for the impossible young man, "Edward, I understand your need to lash out at me and I know you don't see me as being the most attentive mother but I still want you to know that I love you and we are all here for you."

Edward laughed bitterly, "Please, Vanessa. My mother would never be so kind as to say that. She would merely nod and continue on baking or admiring my father's perfectly chiseled physique. I will not continue this ridiculous game until someone imitates my mother correctly."

This time Vanessa pouted, any fear she had of the rebellious man flew out the window, "I know your mother, Edward. And she's really sweet. Whenever she bakes brownies for my little sister she says nothing but kind things about her family and always asks how we all are doing. She even baked organic brownies for my mother because she knows she likes them."

"Very good point, Vanessa," the group leader felt added, though it sounded out of place amidst the verbal battle just beginning to rise between the two members of the group.

"My mother has two dualities, dear Vanessa; which is something you should know by now if you paid more attention to our meetings instead of sex texting your boyfriend."

A few snickers were heard throughout the room, with Bella trying her hardest to suppress a giggle as well.

Poor Vanessa turned beet red, but said nothing more.

"Okay," the leader interrupted, finally focusing her attention on Bella, "I think we should hear from our newcomer. Would you like to introduce yourself?"

Bella's three-second hesitation was enough to cause the woman to add, "Don't be scared. We're all welcoming and caring in here. Well, everyone except Edward. I promise he won't say anything. I'll make sure of that."

Bella quirked an eyebrow at the woman in doubt before clearing her throat, " Hi, everyone," she quickly glanced around the room, taking in everyone's eager, friendly faces and made sure to not even glance at Edward Cullen, " My name is Bella Swan. I recently moved here from Phoenix, Arizona and I'm an English teacher at Forks High."

"Nice, Bella. But would you like to share with the group what brings you here?"

Bella swore she could hear her heart pounding in her chest. Thump-Thump. -thump. The only thing comforting about the loud palpitation vibrating underneath her skin was its paired beating. Beating in twos.

The others looked at her inquisitively, almost on the edge of their seats—waiting to judge her .make fun of her. Compare her problems with theirs. Probably think her to be too weird for them. Especially Edward. He would mock her for sure.

"I—I sometimes get depressed," she offered lamely, brushing her gloved hand over her index finger.

"We all pretty much feel depressed," a short, blonde girl with the most perfect ringlets Bella had ever seen said, her voice was friendly and soothing, as opposed to Edward's biting remarks and Vanessa's half-frightened, half-pissed off retorts, " But we all help each other deal with it somehow. You're not alone. So welcome to the group."

The group leader beamed at the ringlet girl, clearly glad things were finally running on a smooth course, "That's very nice of you, Rebecca. Now _that_ is a proper welcome," the woman glared for a mere second at Edward, before turning her attention back to Bella, "Bella, my name is Susan Atkins and I hope you're here for the long run, for we all are pretty much a tight-knit group and you could make some valuable friends."

Bella almost guffawed at Susan's idealistic yet misguided view. No way would she even stay in this group beyond tonight. Edward Cullen was too much of a fucking asshole and it would be detrimental to her health to continue on.

"Anyway," Susan continued, clapping her hands together, "Is there anything else you'd like to tell us? Something else that's bothering you besides your depression?"

Man, was this woman pushy.

"No, not really."

"That's a blatant lie," Edward stated, lanky body completely turned over in Bella's direction, "I could tell the minute you came through that door."

Bella clenched her fists. What she wouldn't give to punch that dipshit in the face. She had no idea how much longer she could control her temper, for she was sure it would be only seconds before she's lash out at him, saying something she would regret or get her ass kicked for.

"Edward," Susan warned, still hiding behind a forced smile.

"It's true Susan," he answered conversationally, "There's no need to deny it. It's as plain as day. Miss Swan is an extreme germaphobe and is painfully shy. Which in our little world of misfits would mean some kind of anti-social disorder?" He flashed a devilish grin at Bella, as if challenging her to disagree.

But the poor girl couldn't, for he was absolutely right. Who was this thin, caramel-haired, green-eyed demon and why the fuck did he have to come into her life to humiliate her? He got her pegged. And in front of people no less. He figured her out, and said it to the entire group. Did she really have anything else to say? She knew her face was beet red, and instead of her heart beating in twos, it started pounding in threes, not a lucky number. Deadly, in fact.

"You can even tell by the pretty gloves she has on," he went on, mockingly sweet, "It's not even that cold out to be wearing winter mittens."

Fuck. This. Shit. Her legs seemed to have a mind of their own. For she felt herself get up off the chair and take fourteen paces to the exit door. Noise failed to enter her ears, all was silent. She was floating high above her body, watching herself leave, taking no part in her actions, as if her entire being was only connected to her body by a tiny, thin string. It wasn't until she opened the church doors that the invisible string pulled her down into her own body and the sound of crickets, car radios blasting music, and jovial laughter coming from people entering the other side of the church came rushing into Bella's ears suddenly, loudly.

She became conscious of her own skin, and realization hit her. She can't ever go back in there. She had shown these people a weakness, basically confirmed what that horrible shitface of a guy thought of her, and declared herself a coward.

But before Bella could even make it to her car, she was stopped dead in her tracks by none other than Alice. She couldn't comprehend how the girl could hang around so long waiting for her brother.

"Edward treat you bad?"

She could only nod in response, her head hanging down.

"C'mon," Alice said with a sigh, putting a hand on her shoulder and attempting to move her body back towards the church, "I'll go in with you."

"What?" Bella finally snapped completely out of her stupor, directing a horrified expression at her companion, "I'm not going back there. I can't."

"Why not?"

"I- I just can't," She couldn't continue on, for it was ridiculous to her to explain something that was so very obvious. The glow and radiant energy she felt from Alice only a half hour ago was nowhere in sight. Her brother's pit of darkness abolished any sense of confidence she previously possessed.

Her jaw tightened, the small strain of the muscles paining her. It was a well-known discomfort. One Bella had felt a million times before, pain caused by anger. Anger that someone could be as dumb as to think that she could possibly set foot in that dingy, dust-infested room ever again. And why would she have to? Couldn't Alice see that she would only be further humiliated? One thing that pissed her off more than untidiness was stupidity, and Alice took a whole bottle of it tonight.

"I can't. I've been humiliated. I can't just go back in there," This conversation was going nowhere and all Bella wanted to do was go someplace warm and friendly, where people could tell her all the nice things about herself she so desperately wanted to hear, " I didn't even wanna come here in the first place. I've basically said I quit when I walked out the door."

Alice could only half-smile at Bella. And when her gaze held Alice's, Bella detected pity behind her large eyes. Her jaw clenched tighter.

"Bella, you're not the only one to walk out."

"What?"

"Yeah. That mousy girl Vanessa walked out and so did Mark."

Bella had no idea who Mark was but from Alice's assured look she readily assumed he was still in the group, "I don't know…"

"It's okay," Alice whispered. Bella wondered how many times she had heard that phrase today. It was probably a lot, and it surprised her that she didn't keep a tally of it. She hoped it was an even number, "My brother's been in this group for a long time. He'll warm up to you, I promise."

"What's up with him?" Bella knew she shouldn't pry, but she couldn't help him. She needed to prepare herself for whatever verbal weapon he could attack her with.

"Uh…he…he's just a bit hostile," the petite girl looked away, her eyes focused on the entrance to the church.

"Why?"

"I promise he's not gonna bother you anymore," Alice interrupted, grabbing Bella's hand and dragging her back to the church, "I'll tell him specifically as well as Susan. Don't worry, he sends most people crying out of that room and I always come in to save the day. Everyone knows me by now," she smiled at that, as if that could steady the racing of Bella's already over-wrought heart.

The glow came back again, the glow that previously enveloped Bella whenever she was near Alice. It warmed up her insides and she desperately wanted to believe Alice would make everything okay. But no matter how much Alice's presence clouded her senses, she still couldn't let go of the two most dominant sensations—fear and shame. She feared further mockery and was ashamed of being so weak. Bella could have just gotten in her car and left, no harm done. But one look at Alice's pleading face only made her feel guilty, and it would be more of a crime to disappoint this angel sent down from heaven by leaving than it would be to just re-enter the church.

"Do you ever go in to just help Edward?' She had no idea why she asked it, but it made her feel secure knowing her vile brother could possibly show a small weakness.

"Of course," Alice replied, her smile the most genuine Bella had ever seen, "That's why he lets me come."

And with that, the two of them opened the door of the church, heading into the group session area.

* * *

"It was nice meeting you, Bella" the guy named Mark called out to the now relaxed girl as the group made their way out the door, making their way to the parking lot once the meeting was over.

"Nice to meet you too."

"Hey," Vanessa whispered, patting a hand on Bella's back before removing it away quickly. She looked at her sheepishly, not knowing if it was a brash decision to make close contact with the germaphobic Bella.

"Hey," Bella answered back, the action and all its implications not escaping her notice, "It was nice meeting you."

"Yeah, you too. Nobody thinks badly of you leaving after that idiot said those things about you. I kind of expected it."

"Why?"

"Because it's sort of an initiation thing. You tell your story, Edward finishes it in a nasty way, you storm off to leave, and his sister Alice brings you back."

Bella couldn't help but laugh- though a little awkwardly, at such a statement, "How could Edward and Alice be related?" She felt no shame in asking such a blatant question. The fact that everyone was treating her so warmly was enough to allow her to open up to people, and the notion made her giddy inside and she reveled in actually continuing a conversation with people. Maybe she was finally opening up.

"I know, right? I keep asking myself the same thing. But I think they're fraternal twins or something."

"Really?"

"Yeah, makes no sense to me either."

Bella laughed again. Maybe Dr. Jenkins had the right idea with this whole thing, "Yeah, see ya next week."

Both girls departed once Vanessa reached her car. Bella's brown eyes immediately scanned the rest of the lot, hoping to find Alice, her savior yet again. She was leaning against a shiny silver Volvo, deep in conversation with the caramel-haired demon. Bella stopped in her tracks, not sure if she should approach them. Every one of her instincts told her to fuck it. Get in her car. Go home. Take a shower. Go to Bed. Be comfortable. No confrontation. That was the most important part—no confrontation. But the part of her that wanted to be polite, the part of her that wanted desperately to be liked won out. And so with trepid feet, she attempted to walk the twenty steps it took her to stand right before the two Cullens.

But she stopped on the twelfth step, for Edward's voice halted her movements, the words out of his mouth rendering her speechless, "…not really. She is timid, a weakling and wouldn't last long in this group. "

"What makes you say that?" Bella heard Alice ask, the melodic sweetness of her voice toned down the brashness of her brother's.

"She needs people's approval too much. And that will be her ultimate downfall. You can't depend on other's to make you happy, which is something I should know, right?" His voice was bitter, and full of the sardonic humor Bella heard previously in the group meeting.

"Edward…"

"It's true. She's the most pathetic, sad woman I've ever seen. The clothes she wears scream attention and the ridiculous gloves she was wearing was enough to make me sick. She is a girl in a woman's body and the idea that she could even think that no one can see through her is the most pathetic one of them all…"

"Edward!" Alice exclaimed, smacking her brother in the arm as her wide eyes met Bella's hurt, shocked, confused ones.

Edward then knew, for his pale body immediately tensed, his knuckles hardening. Though Bella could only see his back, she knew he was aware of her presence. Alice gave her away, which was a good thing. She couldn't bear to hear anymore.

"Bella," the petite pixie began, sprinting lightly over to the hurt girl, attempting to take her small hands in her own. But Bella pulled away. All attempts at thanking Alice for helping her seemed irrelevant now.

The anger coursing through Bella's veins became stronger, causing her jaw to tighten yet again. Just like a few hours ago, she felt her soul leave her body with the sound around her except her voice disappearing until there was nothing. Her body now made the decision to move towards Edward, while she hovered just above herself, watching everything.

"You have no right to say any of that shit to me, you asshole," The words flowed out of her mouth easily, smoothly. For she was outside of her body now, not actively participating in any real consciousness over worrying about the consequences of her actions or how others would perceive her. Her body was in the here and now, and the now told her that it was right.

"You're here 'cause you have a problem too," her body said, "So I suggest you work on yourself instead of putting others down to make yourself feel better. Maybe I should insult your pale skin, your skinniness and the expensive clothing you're wearing just to show off how rich you are because you know you have nothing else to recommend yourself to other people. Well, newsflash- no one likes you and no one ever will."

As Edward's green eyes hardened at her remark, Bella felt herself suddenly sucked back into her body and sound rushing back into her ears—cars leaving, people saying their goodbyes, Alice's sharp gasp, and Edward's intake of breath. With Bella being back into full consciousness of her actions, she now felt embarrassment, fear, and horror over the words her mouth just let out.

But the man said nothing; his green eyes could only stare at her chocolate brown ones. Green to brown. Brown to green. It must have been moments before Bella had the strength to look away. He wasn't going to respond. He wasn't going to insult her. Good. Now she could leave.

Without a glance in Alice's direction, she headed to her car, opened the door, performed her ritual as fast as she could, and sped off. But when her brown eyes flickered to the rearview mirror, she saw Edward's gaze still on the car, and she imagined his green eyes piercing holes in the back of her head.

* * *

Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. That was the only person Bella wanted at this moment. The one person she needed. Edward's words cut her deep, and she needed to feel Jacob's strong arms around her, kissing her hair, her cheeks, and her lips. She needed to feel her head on his ripped chest. His warmth, kindness, and glow would make everything okay. Everything would be back to normal once she saw him. She had to see him.

Before tonight, LaPush was an impossible place to get to on her own. But she realized that when in desperate circumstances, it was easy to get there…simple as breathing…simple as home.

Pass the cliffs. Keep on the road. Watch for the bend. Instead of her own, she imagined Jacob's hands steering the wheel, his voice telling her where to go. She imagined his finger sliding over her cheek, wiping away the tear that dared to escape her already watering eyes. She couldn't breathe. She hated Edward. Hated him so much. How can one person be so cruel? He had to hate himself. It couldn't really all be about her. Her mind told her this. But her heart told her a different story. Her heart told her he was right to pick on her. Her heart told her she wasn't really fooling anyone. She was a joke, a faker, a fraud.

She tapped on the wheel impatiently, counting the seconds until she saw Jacob's house looming before her.

Once she completed her car ritual in as much haste as humanly possible, she bolted up the porch stairs- out of breath, and wrinkling her nose at the outside smell.

..

Nothing.

She didn't want to knock a fifth.

The door opened slowly, and Jacob Black's puzzled face took in her usual gloves, her irregular breathing, and the few strands of hair that stuck up on the left side of her head almost made him want to kiss her. She never looked so like herself but yet so…unlike herself that it made Bella Swan even sexier than she already was.

"Jacob?' she asked her voice breathless and tiny.

"Good to see you too," he joked, running a hand through his long, black hair.

Bella licked her lips. Just like she imagined in her car, she longed for it to touch her cheek, "Tell me I'm pretty." She needed to hear it…anything…any compliment to take away the anguish and desperation that was slowly consuming her.

"Wha—"he could only gazed at her, blinking once, completely taken aback, "You're pretty, Bella. You know that."

He finally did it. He ran his hand down her hair, smoothing out the stray hairs, only to finally brush his thumb against her cheek, "What's this all about huh? You didn't drive all the way to ask me that did you?"

Bella took his words in no other way but his being lightly concerned and highly curious, for he ended the question in a whisper, placing a light kiss on her other cheek.

His actions soothed her, relaxed her, and made her feel special. But Edward Cullen's harsh but insightful words left Bella wanting more, wanting even more confirmation that she was alright just the way she is. For the third time that night, her body did something her mind gave no permission to do. She opened her mouth and uttered the words she told herself time and time again she would never say to Jacob. Because she knew if she said them, no matter how vague they were, she knew exactly what they meant and knew exactly what to say.

"Jacob," her mouth stated, as she closed her eyes, "I have something I need to tell you."


	17. Chapter 17 The Even Confession

A/N: Thanks for the wonderful reviews! Happy Reading!

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Chapter 17. The Even Confession

Jacob's living room was cramped, more than usual. For the dust-filled sofa was too close to the coffee table. Bella's brown eyes nearly bugged out of their sockets as she took in the nine clumps of mud in the middle left of the table. She easily envisioned Jacob's dirty sneakers lying atop the wooden surface, leaving the dark residue from the outside all over what could have been a decent looking piece of furniture. But right now it was atrocious and it only added to the racing of her heart and the squirming of her stomach because of the confession that she had yet to make.

Bella felt more than saw Jacob's eyes intently on her, probably wondering why this girl who he had only known for two weeks would come over unannounced at his home with a tear-stained face and admit to having a vita piece of information told to him. He _has_ to be thinking that he wants her out the door. Her behavior is what all those relationship books would label as "desperate and clingy" beyond repair.

The overcrowded, stuffy room with stains in more places than were visible to Bella's trained eye made her feel as claustrophobic as _The Glass House _did. She suddenly envisioned two little creatures standing on either side of her shoulder—one red with little horns on its head and a thin, black moustache and another one completely white with a golden halo around its head. The former kept whispering in her ear to leave, get the fuck out of there while the latter told her to stay and come clean. She needed it. She needed release, to feel worthy again, and a small part of her hoped Jacob would help her. But she needed to feel comfortable doing so.

"Jacob, Can I clean off the mud on the table?" She quickly pushed the horror of her own stupid question back into the recesses of her mind. He would soon know enough anyway.

"Uh, no. You don't have to. I'll clean it," he responded his eyebrows pulled together in confusion as he got up off the couch and headed over to the kitchen. The few seconds that Bella was alone gave her enough time to sort out her thoughts, to plan out carefully exactly how she would tell Jacob. For it was something too big to just say casually.

"Here," his deep voice boomed throughout the silence, "I'll clean this up real quick. Don't worry."

The careless, unorganized strokes the brush was making on the table nearly drove Bella up a wall. He was missing an entire thin line of dirt, and once she realized that he wasn't going to clean the three thin lines up due to laziness or inattention to details she immediately placed her material-covered hand over his own, stopping his movement.

"I could finish that for you. You missed a couple of spots," she said kindly, scooping up the three troublesome black spots from hell and rapidly throwing it into the tiny bin Jacob had brought, "There. All clean."

Her companion chuckled, reaching out to take the cleaning tools from her hands and headed back to the kitchen, giving Bella more time to collect her thoughts.

_Just do it, Bella. Get it over with._

Sooner than she thought, Jacob's big, warm body took up almost all of the space on the couch, forcing her to scoot over. It was now or never.

"You had something you wanted to tell me?" he prompted, brushing her arm with his thumb. It soothed her considerably and the tiny trembling of that one single touch was enough to completely side with the white little creature on her shoulder, causing the red-horned devil to quickly poof itself out of existence.

"Yeah, Jake… I haven't been completely honest with you…"

He smiled, "You called me Jake."

Bella blinked, surprised at his statement, "Uh, you don't want me to call you that?"

"No, I like it," he laughed, running a hand through his long hair, "I didn't think you were the kind of girl to give nicknames."

"I didn't know you had to be a 'type' to shorten someone's name," she retorted. Her cheeks reddened at the annoyance and cruelty to her voice seemed to ring throughout the house for at least a few seconds. God was she a bitch.

But Jacob saw through her façade, for he chuckled, his eyes twinkling with amusement. He wasn't going to let Bella's fear over whatever was bothering her affect him. He just needed to be more gentle, stop his joking, and let her finish getting whatever she needed to out of her system.

"You're right, Bells. You don't mind if I call you that do you? Everyone can give each other nicknames," he sighed, berating himself for not keeping his mouth shut, "What did you want to tell me?"

" I—" Bella faltered a bit, bringing her hand around to entwine against his and automatically squeezing it, " Do you ever wonder why I'm so different?"

At this, Jacob furrowed his eyebrows in puzzlement. Nevertheless, he still returned Bella's gesture, his fingers tightening against hers, "What do you mean different? Like you covering your hands all the time?"

He was more perceptive than she thought. But then again, he once told her how fascinated he was with her gloves. Jacob Black was a strange one.

"Yeah, like covering my hands all the time."

"Well, it is weird. But I like it. I told you this."

"But why do you like it?" She couldn't prevent the quivering quality in her voice to escape her lips. She needed him to fully know, fully understand how fucked up she really was. Bella only prayed that his reaction wouldn't be like Edward Cullen's. All she needed was one more bullying asshole in her life.

"Bella, what's this all about?"

He was getting frustrated. That could be the only reason why he suddenly let go of her hands and ran a hand through his hair for the second time.

"Sorry, it's just that something bad happened tonight…"

"What? What happened?"

"Nothing like that," Bella interrupted, immediately understanding Jacob's bewildered expression, "I—I think I have to start at the beginning."

"Bells just get to the point," Jacob said gently, suppressing a grin.

"I moved here not just to spend time with Charlie. But because my Mom couldn't handle me anymore."

"What do you mean, handle you?"

"Yeah…since I was little…"

And once the story started, she couldn't stop her mouth from moving. It was similar to the out-of-body experience she had twice already that night. But this time, it wasn't out of fear and embarrassment, but out of relief. It was relieving to her to just pour her heart out to someone besides the condescending Dr. Jenkins. Jacob's face throughout the entire tale was one of patience, understanding, and lacking any real disgust or shock. It didn't faze him. Her condition didn't _faze_ him one bit. She told him about fear of bacteria, her obsession with cleanliness, her need to count everything within sight, her doctor's visits, her medication, her angry outbursts, and finally ending with the horrible meeting she came from, and mentioned Edward Cullen.

"So he made you come to me?" Jacob asked. His face was unreadable.

"Yeah, I guess."

Silence. What probably was only a few seconds felt like hours. After pouring her heart out, Jacob could only return it with a tight mouth. The only thing she could concentrate on was the steady rise and fall of her chest as she breathed in and out. In and out. In and out. Steadying herself. Steadying her racing heart until it too pumped itself into a stable rhythm.

Don't worry. Jacob will respond. He can't be that turned off. Oh, fuck. Who was she kidding?

"Bella," he finally began, adjusting himself on the couch to completely face her, "Why couldn't you tell me this before?"

Here it comes. He's going to break up with her because she was dishonest, just like in the movies.

"I was too embarrassed. I didn't want you to know how much of a freak I am," she replied, her voice as calm as the balanced beating within her chest. It somehow felt right to speak to Jacob, no matter how turned off he might be.

"There's no need for you to feel embarrassed…Bella," he said again, taking her covered up hands into his own, "I already knew."

Her body now went into overdrive, the life force within her chest pumping rapidly, the rise and fall of her chest increasing in pace, as if she was hyperventilating.

"Its okay, its okay," Jacob went on, chuckling lightly, "Don't have a heart attack on me."

"How—how did you know?" she gasped out, feeling the familiar flush of embarrassment creep up on her cheeks.

"C'mon, Bells. It's so obvious," he smiled at her, running a hand through her hair, " You freak out when you see so much as a strand of hair on a table."

"It wasn't a piece of hair," she complained lightly, finally feeling a huge weight lift off her shoulders with his teasing words, "It was dirt…and nasty dirt too. Probably a day old." She eyed the semi-clean table speculatively, knowing exactly that it was what Jacob was referring to.

'Sure, sure…and also the gloves. But I've told you already how sexy I think they are," he whispered, winking at her.

Bella didn't even try to hide the blush already creeping on her cheeks, "But that's the thing. Why do you think I'm sexy? No guy has ever thought that about me."

"How can you be so sure?"

She shrugged, "I don't know. They never said anything."

"Well, I'm not every guy." He was so close to her now, so close that she could feel his minty breath tickling her nose.

"When did you realize it?" Bella asked, dying to know the answer yet afraid at the same time.

Jacob bit his lip, his eyes twinkling, "The moment you didn't wanna take my business card after you bumped into my car."

Oh. God.

"That obvious?" Bella could barely hear herself, she sounded as tiny as a mouse.

"Yeah…" he laughed, his voice resonating through the empty living room.

"What did you think about it? That I was hiding it or something?"

Jacob shrugged, "Naw, not that you were hiding necessarily. But I figured you just didn't want to mention it."

Bella shifted uncomfortably on the couch, bracing herself for her next question, "You think it's strange that I'm seeking help?" She couldn't bring herself to utter the word _therapy_ or _psychiatrist_. It made her sound too much like a mental patient.

"No, I think it's a good idea. And I'm glad you decided to come back," Jacob responded, flashing her a winning smile.

A sigh of relief escaped her lips, followed by a shake of her head once his words actually sunk in her already frantic mind, "Come back? You mean, come to your house tonight, right?"

The young man before her gazed at her with wide-eyes before quickly looking away, running a hand through his hair for the third time that night, "Sure, sure. You coming here."

Bella was satisfied, but only for a brief moment. A second silence engulfed the two, with the sound of crickets coming from Jacob's backyard increasing every second. She fucked it up. She knew it. It did not need to be stated. She had gone through this before—people feeling sorry for her, not knowing how to handle her now that the truth was out.

Jacob was a liar. He couldn't have known. If he did, why was he so silent now? He never was before so this should be no different. But the truth of the matter was, it was over. She fucked up another good thing yet again. Damn her and her sentimentality.

"Well, I better go." She didn't even wait for him to respond. As fast as her feet could carry her, she bolted out the door, glad for once to feel the fresh air on her pale face. Getting away from all the accumulated dust in the Black residence was detrimental to her health, as well as being free of the pitying gaze of Jacob Black.

"Bella, where the hell are you going?" he called after her, a door slamming behind him. He was following her. Fuck, will this night never end?

"I think its best I go home," she answered without a glance in his direction as she opened the car door, not sure how fast she could perform her ritual before tearing out of his property.

"No, wait," he exclaimed, not even breaking a sweat. Bella could not help noting it. His sweat-free body made her envious, "What did I say? Did I do something wrong. I'm sorry if I did."

"No, it's nothing."

A large part of her wanted him to persist, continue his questioning her motives for leaving, to want her badly enough to keep chasing after her, make him want her. She prayed that her condition did not make him uncomfortable. But with her luck, that probably was the case. Real life could never be like romantic movies, no matter how much she wished it was.

"Bells, it's not nothing," he placed his hand behind her head, leaning against the car door, blocking her. It was the sexiest move she had ever seen him do, "You don't even let me talk."

"I gave you plenty of chances to say something, but you didn't," she retorted, placing her hand on his arm in an attempt to move away from him. But her hand on his arm was enough to change her body to putty. Who was she kidding? If she really wanted to push him away she could, for there was at least a feet of space between them, and she could easily duck under his arm to escape. She was so pathetic.

"It-it wasn't about that," he said quietly, and shook his head back and forth, as if shaking himself from getting sidetracked, "I don't care, Bella. I mean, I do care and I'm glad you're getting help, but it's not changing anything. I'm still taking you to the beach on Saturday."

Bella gasped ecstasy, relief, and shock flooding her senses, "Really? This is no problem for you?"

"No, not really. Now that it's out in the open, I can tease you about it more."

This time Bella didn't stop herself from ducking under his arm and lightly punching him, which didn't do much.

"C'mon. It's kinds funny," he mused.

"Wow, never had anyone think it was funny before."

"Well, then they certainly aren't like me," he chided, flashing her another one of his intoxicating grins.

"No, they're not," Bella whispered, unable to look away from Jacob's intent gaze.

His eyes were inching closer, closer, until his face was only inches apart from hers.

"Can I kiss you?" he whispered back, his minty breath tickling her cheeks.

"Why you ask? You've never asked me before," she replied, not really paying attention to what she was saying, for her entire focus, her entire being, was concentrated on the tall, heavily- built man in front of her. A man who was going to give her one of the most amazing kisses she had ever experienced.

" Well, now that I know for sure you have a thing with hygiene and bacteria, I thought it was only proper for me to ask before we share such an intimate, bacteria-filled moment," he said huskily, making Bella almost faint as his once again twinkling eyes concentrated on her pursed lips.

"You can kiss me," she managed to choke out, "We've kissed before…and anyways, your breath is minty. I like it." And that was the damn truth. Nothing was more of a turn-on than a clean mouth.

Jacob finally closed the gap between them, pressing his lips softly against hers. His strong arms came around to her shoulders, enveloping her. He was so warm, so strong, so mesmerizing. It seemed like minutes before he deepened the kiss, and Bella felt her knees weaken. It reminded her of a movie she saw long ago, a movie that she surely would have remembered if she wasn't so pleasantly engaged, that mentioned an earth-shattering kiss; a kisser whose kisses one could feel all over, a guy who had "strong lips".

It was perfect, a perfect ending to a less-than-perfect day.

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Jacob watched Bella Swan finally leave, finally saw her do an activity in her car that he had been wondering about for quite some time. He knew before that she was hiding something, and was amused to finally see the "real Bella" unfold. She was hunched over in the driver's seat, her head face down. Once he had an opportunity to be in the passenger seat with her would he finally know exactly what she does.

He watched as she sat in her car for what seemed like four minutes, her chocolate-brown eyes scanning objects, as if storing them into the recesses of her mind. A photographic memory.

Jacob expected to feel the wonder and mystery that was Isabella Marie Swan to fade once she spilled the beans to him. But it certainly didn't, for previously guessing her strange, erratic behavior enticed him to find out more to find out the truth. And now that he did, he needed to see everything in action. Pay close attention to everything she does.

It was so close that night. She was so close to finding out his obsession that she nearly flew out of his house because of it, probably thinking he never wanted to see her again. But that could not be farther from the truth. It did not matter what the future had in store for them, he tried not to think that far ahead. Live in the moment. That was his motto. Billy thought too much of the future, and it irked him greatly. But it shocked him when Quil and Embry told him the same thing. _Leave Bella alone_, they warned him, _you can't get too serious with her. You know that._

But Jacob had no idea why they would be concerned with that. It had only been two weeks and now everyone was hounding him to not get serious with the girl. Was it because of the fiasco with Leah? Was it because he had gotten too close to her?

He was not ready for that stage in life just yet. He just wanted to get to know Bella Swan better. No need for anyone to freak out.

Shutting himself in his tiny bedroom, he plopped down on his too-tiny-for-his-body bed, closed his eyes, and allowed himself to be consumed by thoughts of his dream girl.

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A/N: Was it what everyone was expecting? How did you all feel about the glance into Jacob's thinking?


	18. Chapter 18 The Even Friendship

A/N: Sorry for the delayed update. I thank all of you guys for the wonderful reviews. I know everyone has questions but don't worry, they will be answered all in due time. Happy reading!

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Chapter 18. The Even Friendship

Bella finally had a man—a man who wanted her, a man who thought she was sexy just the way she was, and no one was going to change that. Not Edward Cullen. Not Jessica Stanley. Not anyone.

As she automatically reached under her bed for her reliable friend Turbo, she stopped, pushing the brand-new looking box under her four poster again. She wasn't in the mood. The feelings Jacob provoked earlier that evening were romantic, pure, and too worthy to be tainted by merely sexual, gratuitous acts.

For only the second time in two weeks, she took the usual five steps to her bookshelf to peruse the various romantic titles categorized by historical romance, fluffy romance, life-changing-passionate romance, and erotic romance. Without consciously thinking about it, her index finger immediately stopped in her life-changing-passionate romance section, specifically her Danielle Steele novels. Man did that woman know how to write epic stories. She occasionally lost herself in the novels, imagining herself as the main character and whatever guy she took a fancy to at that particular moment played her leading man. And that was exactly what she did now.

It did not take her long to fix everything that seemed just a little out of place in her room. She did not give two shits if what she was doing was a direct violation of her session at Dr. Jenkins' office and her meeting with her fellow outcasts at group therapy. Everything had to be perfect. Everything had to be great for her nightly romantic thoughts about her future boyfriend. Bella could admit it to herself now—he was her boyfriend. That was the title he held in relation to her in her mind and that is how it would stay.

Jacob is her boyfriend. Jacob is her boyfriend. Jacob Black is her boyfriend. She is dating Jacob Black. Jacob Black is dating her. Bella Swan is Jacob Black's girlfriend. She is a girlfriend. She is someone's girlfriend. She is taken. She is not single.

Those words forming themselves in her mind were enough to warm Bella's insides. It only took thirty minutes for her to organize everything before climbing into bed with Danielle Steele, knowing in her mind that these revelations were true, no matter if they hadn't been spoken out loud. She was reading a book knowing that she finally had a love life.

As she turned the pages, only half paying attention to the words she was reading, she wondered when Jacob would actually acknowledge what they were. He probably didn't think of her in those terms yet and she was wondering when he will. How would he say it? Would he just casually mention it to someone in passing? Refer to himself as her boyfriend when talking to someone while in her presence? Or would he ask her himself? The two of them alone. Ask her if they could make it official. She liked the latter. It was more touching.

For once she couldn't concentrate on the book; And after three minutes, drifted off into a fulfilling slumber.

Her work day went by in a flash. Ignoring her students' twitchy, impatient looks and tapping of their pens on paper as well as the jiggling of their legs while they waited for the final bell to ring signaling the beginning of their long-awaited weekend was pretty easy. The more she ignored them, the quicker the day seemed to go by. Bella promised herself that she wouldn't behave this way the following week. She really needed to gain control of her classroom again just like she did previously when Tyler Crowley dropped her class.

The twenty-four bopping heads only reiterated her anxiety over ending the school day. She wanted to get her shopping spree with Angela done as soon as possible. She couldn't wait for Saturday to come. Any extra time to spend with Jacob was good for enough for her, and she couldn't stop daydreaming of their day out on the beach. Hopefully he would confess something to her, something romantic such as his deep feelings for her.

_Stop asking for the impossible, Bella. Stop asking for the impossible._

The bell rang. All evenly paired students rushed out of their seats, except for Aaron who called out to Ms. Swan, wishing her a good weekend.

Getting her papers ready to leave would be easy, but that didn't stop Bella from taking as much time as possible. She figured she could waste ten minutes organizing her notes before heading out of the classroom…another six minutes to arrive in her office…and another six to wait for Angela to come and meet her. Twenty-two minutes. Twenty-two minutes to prepare herself for a hopefully only two- hour event that would fly by as fast as her day had been so far.

But no such fucking luck.

Angela burst through the door, a plethora of papers in her hands. Her hair was windswept, with a few black wisps sticking on the sides of her face like glue. She looked like hell, like she just came back from running a marathon.

"Hey," she gasped, plopping her disorganized papers on Bella's clean, mess-ridden desk, "I just sent my students out a bit early. I could tell they couldn't wait to get out. Ready for the mall?"

Bella's eyes were wide open, her dark irises fixed on the coffee-stained stacks of paper now cluttering her desk, "Yeah, but let me go to my office and freshen up a bit."

Angela finally realized her blunder, for she replied, "Oh, sorry. I was just really excited. I'll wait out by the parking lot for you. You know which one's my car, right?"

Bella couldn't help but feel a little guilty. This girl had been nothing but nice to her, no matter if she completely destroyed her desk. She would pick it up before she left. That thought kept running repeatedly through her mind, hoping it would be true. And why wouldn't it? These were Angela's disgusting papers, and she couldn't leave the room without them. She would pick them up and take them with her, leaving her desk as nice and tidy as it was previously. Any normal person would do that. But then again, any normal person wouldn't be as bothered about the whole thing like she was.

"Uh, remind me again?" Bella responded, taking a second to remember exactly what Angela asked her.

"The red Toyota."

"Oh, ok. Sure, I'll meet you there." Her voice sounded miles away, as if someone else was responding for her. Angela's messy papers were still on her table. The girl still hadn't moved an inch to pick them up and she was nowhere near leaving the room.

"Yeah, I should get going to my office," Bella continued.

Looking into Bella's wide eyes gave Angela the hint she needed. With a sweep of her hand she removed the bothersome stack of papers and smiled shyly at her co-worker before heading out the door.

Bella felt like shit. She didn't mean to be so rude, but she would be damned if the girl would leave that shit on her desk.

Once she was in her small office, she counted mentally up till eighty which was one of her even, favorite numbers. During her counting, she concentrated on relaxing her body so she wouldn't have to be nervous over riding in a car with just Angela. It was easier to be in a car with a group of people she barely knew than just one, for they could all talk amongst themselves while Bella just listened. She wouldn't be required to contribute to the conversation that much and say something stupid. She could just listen and smile or laugh when needed. But being with only one person required her to hold a conversation. She so desperately wanted people to like her that it almost rendered her speechless and she was always afraid of saying the wrong thing, sounding less intelligent.

As she locked the door to her office three times, she kept telling herself to stop thinking about the fact that they would be conversing, and just concentrate on _what_ they would be talking about. For she realized a long time ago that if the topic of conversation was one that was of interest to her, she could let go of the tension in her body, let go of all her insecurities and just hone in on the topic they were actually speaking of, and from there she could easily develop a friendship. She was not a fan of the small talk.

"God, you take a long time," Angela joked as she leaned against her car, shaking her head at Bella.

"I didn't realize it was that long." She hated when she did that. A lot of times Bella felt as if she was on a different time frame than everyone else. What seemed quick and timely was to everyone else eons of minutes.

"It's okay. What do I care, really? It's Friday," Angela said casually as she opened the passenger door for Bella.

This was it. This was the deciding moment for Bella to choose if she would continue a deeper acquaintance with her very eager co-worker. Jacob was the exception. But that was a different story, for she never fantasized about fucking the shit out of Angela.

As she peered into Angela's vehicle, she was slightly pleased. Imagining that the inside couldn't possibly look as decent as the outside, she was highly mistaken. Her car smelled clean, like those sweet air fresheners one has dangling on the rearview mirror of their car. But there wasn't one in sight. Still, the smell was welcoming enough to not send her running away for help. Unlike Jacob's disastrous rabbit, there were no random objects in the backseat of Angela's Toyota. Of course, there were a few crumbs around the driver's seat but it could be remedied by Angela's sitting on it. Then she wouldn't have to look at it. Out of sight out of mind; that's how it was done when she wanted no one to find out her secret disease.

The ride to the mall was quick, though the start of casual conversation between the two was rocky. Bella discovered that once Angela accomplished the goal of getting Bella to hang out with her due to what she still thought was pity, she was as painfully withdrawn as Bella. The girl kept drumming her fingers on the steering wheel, making a slight _taptaptap_ rhythm which irritated her companion to the extreme. But Bella said nothing. Her lips were forced shut as she forced herself to prevent from lashing out at the annoying sound. But it was enough to force her to come up with some topic of conversation, no matter how fucking stupid it was.

"Do you like to read?" she asked, her eyes glued to the drumming fingers.

They stopped.

"Yeah, sure," Angela replied, "I don't even have to ask if you do."

"Of course…what kind of books do you like?"

"Um…mostly history books. Philippa Gregory is a pretty good writer. Though most of her work is historically inaccurate I can appreciate it for what it is…good romantic fun?"

Bella's hand twitched.

"You like romance?"

"Oh, yeah," Angela guffawed, "What girl doesn't?"

"Yeah…you're right. I like really romantic stuff…and romantic movies as well."

From that moment on, Bella got her wish. The two of them continued talking about romance movies and books the rest of the way over. They kept talking and talking until it seemed to Bella that the drive was taking a tad longer than it should.

"Where exactly is this mall?" she asked, interrupting Angela mid-sentence during a big speal about _The Other Boleyn Girl._

"It's just one store, actually," Angela sighed, her eyes focusing on the road, "Windfall. It's a nice little vintage store. I think we'd need a complete day-off to go to the big mall which is in Seattle."

"Oh." Claustrophobia suddenly hit Bella like a ton of bricks. It sucked how sometimes she felt as if she was away from civilization. She took for granted how easily and quickly one could go to a mall if they wanted to. They didn't need to travel for almost three fucking hours to go to Macy's.

"How come there's a club here and they don't have an actual mall?" she couldn't help but ask. She was too annoyed now to care if she was being a bitch.

"Shattered Glass was built recently. Maybe a year ago. We'll get a mall pretty soon. I'm hoping on it," she finally glanced at Bella again, giving her a half-smile, "It's a pretty cool store, ya know. Don't really know what your style is, but they have a little bit of everything. But they close pretty early, so I'm going as fast as I can."

Bella quickly glanced at the speedometer, noting at least a ten mile per hour increase. She sighed and enjoyed the rest of the ride.

The store was smaller than anything she'd ever been to. But it was true to what Angela said it was- a vintage store. Racks and racks of a myriad of styles lined the walls of the tiny place, displaying hippie-ish skirts all the way to hot pink Lycra pants. Bella didn't know if anything there was for her, but at least her friend was being honest. The place looked clean enough, though the clutter of clothes was enough to drive Bella insane if she stayed there for too long. She decided she would behave like she always did when her mother would drag her to a mall that was less than tolerable—suggest a specific thing to buy and stick with it. No matter what else she wanted to add to the mix, stick with the specific item. Bella usually picked the first thing her mother suggested, for she had no real knack for picking something trendy and she didn't give a shit either. This situation was proving itself to be the same thing, for what she initially thought was decent was turning out to be stuffy with an extreme case of mothball syndrome.

But that was only the beginning of Bella's horror, for the short girl leaning over the counter of an old-fashioned register was none other than Alice Cullen. The grin that spread on her cute, button nosed face was enough to ease Bella of witnessing any resentment on her part. It was as if nothing happened, as if she hadn't completely told off her brother in her presence.

" Omigod! Bella! Small world," and without even a warning, Alice skipped over to Bella and wrapped her tiny arms around her, closing her in for a bear hug. Though there was nothing bear about her. Her small frame made Bella feel ten feet tall and even more awkward than she normally was.

"Hi, Alice. Nice seeing you here," she responded weakly. One look at Angela confirmed that her friend did indeed remember the girl who helped Bella from almost fainting in Shattered Glass.

"Uh, Alice. This is my friend Angela-"Bella began, feeling proud of herself for being so polite.

But Alice quickly cut her off, "I think I met her. You were one of her friends from the club that Saturday night, right?" she lifted her left eyebrow up, gazing speculatively at Angela.

Luckily Bella knew immediately what she was talking about, "She's one of the good friends. We're actually here because she wants to make it up to me. She knows the others are kinda bitches." She didn't necessarily know if that was true but she hoped Angela would just go with the flow. Her other co-workers still behaved unfriendly towards her, so what was the point in still trying to care if they knew of her disdain for them?

To her satisfaction, Angela didn't mention anything. She only nodded her head.

"Ah, okay. I don't like anyone who doesn't treat this girl nicely," Alice joked, hugging a very stunned Angela in the process, "And that goes for my brother too. I think you deeply affected him. Because he's said nothing about it. And he always complains about someone who is…in his words 'an ignorant fool who isn't worthy to wipe the mud off his boots'" one look at her two quizzical listeners forced her to continue, "He speaks like that all the time. Me and Emmett try to get him to talk normally but he just won't. It's part of his whole 'greater than though' complex he suffers from. But besides his assholiness, how did you like your first meeting? "

Bella clenched her teeth. Damn this bitch to fucking hell! The familiar heat began to creep up in the back of her neck, followed by her palms beginning to become wet with sweat. No. . . But she forgot that her co-worker wasn't Jessica Stanley, who surely would have openly asked what Alice meant. Angela instead listened on quietly, letting Alice continue rambling on about all the different people in her brother's group meeting—mentioning different circumstances someone suffered from serious bouts of depression while another person was a sex addict. Forks was too small to have separate group meetings for these addictions so they stuck all of them together. Bella vaguely remembered someone mentioning their addiction to sex but for the life of her she couldn't remember who it was. She only remembered the few people who addressed her and spoke to her nicely—Vanessa and Mark.

She stole a glance in Angela's direction. The girl was making a point to run a hand over a shapeless, sequined top, moving hanger after hangers of clothing, keeping her eyes averted from the two women.

"Yeah, yeah. Funny, I know," Bella summed up, racking her brain for a perfect subject to switch, "So how long have you worked here?" It was lame, she knew. But it was something.

"Awhile. It's kind of a stepping stone for me to begin on fashion designing. It's something I've always been interested in and I eventually want to go to Parson's."

"Wow, that sounds cool,' Bella replied absentmindedly, glancing at Angela to see if she was preoccupied enough with shopping to sort of forget Alice's blunder.

"Anyway, what are you guys looking for? Need help with finding anything?" Alice inquired, her eyes lighting up at the prospect.

"Uh…" Bella turned to Angela, half-hoping she would say yes in order to keep her mind preoccupied but wanting her at the same time to say no so they could leave sooner. Alice looked like the type who would love to take forever picking out outfits for her friend, a girl who really enjoyed the art of shopping.

But Angela was an angel sent from heaven, for she softly said, "No, thanks. Just browsing."

Bella's favorite shopping words.

Alice sighed, looking crestfallen, "Okay. If you do need anything don't hesitate to call me."

But before she could settle herself back into the small register nook, the _ringringring _of the bell signaling the entrance of a new customer chimed, causing Alice's entire body to sit up straighter, as if on alert.

"Mrs. Winters!" she exclaimed, sprinting over to the elderly woman who came walking in with a large-brimmed hat with white and red roses attached on either side. Her white and red polka dotted, knee-length dress made Bella cringe. She was surprised the woman wasn't wearing bright pink lipstick.

"How are you? How's your granddaughter?" Alice asked, putting a hand on the woman's shoulder and leading her into the store.

"Good, good. Her birthday is coming up soon so I wanted to see if you got anything new?" her weary blue eyes scanned the store, not even focusing on the other two inhabitants.

"Yes, of course. Here we are…" As Alice led the woman to a secluded area of the store, Bella tentatively made her way to stand beside her friend, absentmindedly browsing the rack along with her.

"You gonna buy anything or are you just really looking?"

"Just looking for a dress for the wedding," she answered, making a face at a neon green dress with puffed sleeves that was so obviously eighties.

"And you picked this store?" Bella whispered lest Alice should hear.

Angela shrugged, "I've found some really pretty dresses that I've worn for formals. One of them being my prom."

Bella felt guilty just then. Now she wanted to retract her "shopping method" once she remembered the reason they were there. It didn't sit well with her that she could be the possible cause for Angela's possibly looking like shit at a wedding. She would just have to suck up the mothball smell and really help out to pick something nice for her.

The whole thing took an hour. The funny thing about Angela was that she was no way like Renee. When she finally went to the dressing room with the two items she thought were worthy of being considered as _the_ dress, she didn't ask for Bella or Alice (who went in between helping Mrs. Winters find a perfect gift for her daughter and checking to see if Bella and Angela needed help) and easily chose a form- fitting brown dress with light pink polka-dots. The colors were subtle enough to be considered passable at a wedding but added some life to it at the same time. Bella genuinely liked the dress and was happy that she didn't have to lie about it just so they could leave the mothball store.

"Goodbye, Mrs. Winters," Alice called out as the old woman left the store with her package in hand, "Tell Marcie I say Happy Birthday!"

All Bella could do was just look on at her, at Alice's confidant stance and her ease with talking to people. It was obvious that she had assisted this Mrs. Winters many times before, enough to know her granddaughter's name for christssake. She didn't seem to be scared or nervous talking to people. She seemed to rather enjoy it.

A twinge of envy coursed through her. She wished she could be like her. Bella always strived to be _that_ girl everyone likes. The one who's friends with everyone, is charming, sexy, and is always sought after by every guy. She wished that she was capable of having so many friends and be a conversation-starter, just like Alice Cullen. Bella still hadn't come to the terms that she would never be like that. She hoped that after awhile her new medication would help her with that. If not, she'd simply as Dr. Jenkins to prescribe to her one that did.

"So you're taking that one?" Alice's voice chirped, interrupting Bella's thoughts. She eyed Angela's chosen dress with approval, "Nice. Its' a good choice for a wedding."

"Thanks," Angela replied, taking it up to the register.

Once everything was taken care of, Alice pulled Bella in for another one of her bear hugs, "See you next Wednesday. And don't worry; you have my word that Edward won't be such a dick."

Bella could only smile weakly, torn between thanking Alice for her assurance and wanting to strangle her for bringing up that tidbit about her in front of Angela. But Angela again said nothing.

As the two girls walked out, Angela was the first to speak up, "Wanna grab something to eat?"

"Uh, sure."

"There's a place about a block away that has pretty good burgers. We could go there if you like. It's a pretty cute place and very clean."

That last statement wasn't lost on Bella. And she could only look at her co-worker with confusion before covering it up quickly, "That sounds good."

She knew Angela wasn't going to bring up what she had just overheard Alice saying. It was obvious she knew and obvious that she didn't care. It was that moment; the minute Angela uttered those last words that she knew she had found a kindred friend.

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A/N: I know the chap's just filler, but I want Bella to establish other close relationships besides hers with Jacob. But the next chap for sure is going to be really interesting.


	19. Chapter 19 The Odd Beach Day

A/N: Thanks for the reviews as well as favoriting this story. I love having new readers, especially Team Edward readers who still decide to stick with the story. Thanks guys! Happy Reading!

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Chapter 19. The Odd Beach Day

The trip turned out to be very pleasant. Angela and Bella continued talking about their favorite romantic books and movies, each finding similar likes and dislikes. And not once did Angela mention what she heard in the shop. Not even on the ride back, where Bella was free to mentally count as many things as possible and her companion never bothered to question it. It was a relief.

"How was your day?" Charlie asked as Bella opened the front door and closed it three times according to tradition.

"It was fun, actually," she smiled, lightly skipping over to the living room and sprawling herself on the sofa, her eyes flicking from the game her father was watching to the man himself.

Her mood as well as her carefree behavior wasn't lost on Charlie, who was taken aback at how she failed to detect any crumbs from his recently eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He made sure to not let any jelly dribble down to the couch, lest Bella should find out and completely freak like she normally does. But not tonight. Tonight she seemed rather…chipper.

"You sure you didn't lie to me and hang out with Jacob?" he questioned, narrowing his eyes at her.

"No, I hung out with Angela...really," Bella assured, shaking her head teasingly while twiddling her covered thumbs. Her father's inquisitiveness could be cute at times.

"Well, that's good then," Charlie shifted uncomfortably in his seat, unsure of what to say next. He desperately wanted to know how her dates were with Jacob, for the sole reason of her not getting too emotionally invested. Though he hadn't fully raised his baby girl (that honor went to Renee completely) he still heard of her few past relationships and how she dealt with their aftermath. According to his ex-wife it wasn't pretty. And he sure as hell didn't want to deal with a super-sensitive, emotionally unbalanced young woman. It was a teenage daughter times two. He wasn't well equipped for this, and he vowed to himself from that moment on that if Jacob Black ever broke Bella's heart he would drive over to LaPush himself with his chief's badge and tear out his balls himself. He _really_ could not deal with seeing Bella in anguish over a break-up. That would not happen, not on his watch.

"Dad, you okay?" Bella's voice broke through his thoughts, which he quickly brushed off, berating himself for losing track of the game.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Well…I'd better head upstairs," and with that, Bella climbed twenty-eight steps to her room (excluding the thirteenth) and it was an hour later before she settled herself into bed, picking up her Danielle Steele book to read. Her blossoming friendship with the most unlikely candidate was great and she knew tomorrow's day with Jacob would be nothing short of spectacular.

A slash of early morning light hit Bella's face. Birds chirped. As she stretched luxuriously in her down comforter bed, bits and pieces of "Morning" by Griev kept playing itself in her mind. It was the start of a beautiful, glorious day and now that Jacob knew everything, a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She didn't feel like Audrey Hepburn today. No, today she felt like Julie Fucking Andrews. Today was good. It was already sunny as hell for Forks and her room shone with so much cleanliness that it would be hard for _her_ to even find an article out of place or a blemish among her nicely kept room. It almost made her reconsider her usual Sunday cleaning for the next day…maybe not. Who was she kidding? Dust has the ability to accumulate within a couple of hours. She _will_ clean something tomorrow.

Jacob texted her last night that he would pick her up at noon. A quick flick of her head to her alarm clock read ten o'clock. Fuck. She only had two hours. Good thing she already decided what she was going to wear the night before. Since it would be an outdoor event, light, jean shorts would be the best thing to wear with a sleeveless blue top made of forty-five percent modal.

As she counted the usual twenty-two objects in her bathroom, she felt a twinge of guilt over not even trying to control her obsessive thoughts. She was letting down Dr. Jenkins and letting down herself even more. She already forgave the doctor for making her go to the group meeting. But it took Alice's winning smile yesterday as well as her comforting words when she stormed out of the group for her anger towards her shrink to melt away. It was good for her. It was _good_ for her. Another mantra to repeat to herself.

She tried showering as fast as she could, feeling a little pissed off that it had to end so soon. But the thought of seeing Jacob again was enough to ease her annoyance. As she scrubbed herself extra well a thought suddenly occurred to her. Anything could happen at the beach. And by anything she meant _anything._ She needed to be prepared. Oh, fuck. Why didn't she get her nether regions waxed again? She'd have to just shave the few hairs she had grown since her last wax. Though she told herself time and time again that she would never sleep with him or do anything else so soon, who knew? It was always best to be prepared, especially when just by looking at Jacob's round lips and his rippling abs was enough for the now familiar moisture to soak her panties.

Shit. She should pack another set of panties. Soon. Like three. No, forget three. Four. Four is perfect. Another glance at the clock told her that an hour and a half had past already. She was proud of herself. It should be entered into the Guinness Book of World Records—_Obsessive Compulsive Bella Swan only took _an_ hour and a half to get ready. _Amazing.

Before she could even check fourteen times if everything was packed, including other toiletries, make-up, and sun block, the doorbell rang.

Fuck. She didn't even get to eat.

Bella winced, automatically glancing at her father's bedroom from the hallway. The door was wide open, signaling his early departure to partake in his usual Saturday morning fishing trips. Good. At least he wasn't asleep.

Her descent down the flight of twenty-four steps was full of fluttering nerves. Every time she saw Jacob it was as if she was on tender hooks, but not today. It felt so relieving having him know her worst secret. The weights had been lifted off and now she felt as if she were flying as high as a bird with butterflies in its wake.

The front door swung open from the turn of her own hand, and Jacob stood with all his muscled glory before her. The early afternoon sun hitting him square in the back. Bella could have sworn she heard a hallelujah chorus in the background, the rays of sunlight looking as if they were sent from God himself, like Jesus.

"Hi," she breathed, unable to stop gawking at the way his white t-shirt hugged his already ripped body. As she traveled up to his face, she was met with the most warming, shy smile she had ever seen.

"Hi," he said tentatively, shifting his weight, his hands deep in the pockets of his light, baggy jeans.

Bella couldn't respond. His slight uncomfortableness suddenly made her feel the same way. Was his seeing her now only a reminder of how imperfect he now knew she was? Did he regret coming over?

"Your chariot awaits you, my lady," he murmured, bowing deeply before waving to his right where his familiar rabbit was parked.

"How come you always say that?" she asked, finally feeling at ease with his teasing tone.

"I thought they were choice words. Just trying to be the gentleman," he responded, holding out a hand to unnecessarily help her down the steps. How strange.

"Wait. I gotta lock the door," she closed the front door and turned the key into the lock, like she normally did. The key stopped midway as she focused on exactly what she was doing. She was about to perform her closing door ceremony in front of Jacob. The need to hide it wasn't even there. Just leaving it locked like that, only one time, was an option. But it was one she felt queasy about.

One glance at Jacob confirmed her suspicions. He was gazing at her strangely, not entirely sure why she was just standing in front of the door after locking it. It has to be one of her strange "obsessive" quirks. He figured he would just let her do her thing. It was the least he could do since she was pretty broken up about it the other day. Before he arrived at her house, he vowed to himself that he would make their day enjoyable as possible. Frankly, her confession didn't surprise him. For he would spend countless nights overhearing Billy's conversations over the phone with Chief Swan about Bella's social problems, the trouble she had been having in Phoenix, her crazy quirks, and her mother's decision to finally have her live for awhile with her father. He knew it all, and still pursued her. He must be strange as well. But it didn't matter. She was everything he had ever wanted in a woman—low maintenance, imperfect, attractive, sweet but bitchy at the same time…everything that could keep him interested long- term.

He watched her. He saw how aware she was of his presence, of his being close to witnessing something she wouldn't have shown him before, something private, something having to do with what. But then it He vaguely remembered a couple of actions she kept doing with the door but for the life of him he couldn't' remember exactly what. The bullshit answer she gave him didn't sit well than and he was glad to know that his feeling was right. Jacob was only relieved that things were out in the open now…mostly. On her part yes, but definitely not on his.

Bella seemed to have made up her mind, for the slight frown on her face quickly dissolved, and she opened the door, locked it again, opened it a third time, and locked that again.

_That_ was what she did before, and now that he knew for sure why she did it, he couldn't help but laugh.

"You think that's funny?" she asked, a look of horror mixed with annoyance etched on her lovely face. Now _that_ was the Bella Swan that excited him. She was so insecure yet so snarky that he never knew what to expect from her.

"Yeah, you lied to me about it last time—"

"I did not," she interrupted, already heading towards Jacob's car without a second thought, not even remembering how bad it could look in there.

"Oh, please. You totally lied. You told me the keys or some shit like that were getting rusty," he went on, clear memories of that night now rushed to the surface of his mind, "and it not closing properly."

He caught up to her, waiting for her to respond. But she didn't meet his gaze, which he took as an indication of her decision to not argue with him.

"You really want to ride in my car?" he asked, not able to hide the uncertainty in his voice. He joked about being a gentleman before, but he was scared shitless. His rabbit was his pride and joy, and now that he knew for certain why she had a disdain for it, he felt hurt. He secretly hoped she would say yes, that she would try to ride in his car again. She'd done it before, so why shouldn't she now? Because she finally told him? Because she didn't have to hide?

Bella shook her head, snapping out of the stupor she was in. The mix of annoyance and embarrassment was replaced with guilt. She should say yes. Hopefully it was clean.

"Is everything picked up?" Bella couldn't help but ask.

"Yeah, of course. I wouldn't take my girl out in something less than perfect now, would I?"

The small woman before him nearly lost her balance, her chocolate-brown eyes nearly bugging out of their sockets. My girl. His girl. He considered her _his_ girl. It was as good as settled that he considered her his girlfriend. Her face flushed and her heart started racing.

Jacob turned away, clearing his throat, "So you gonna get in, or what?"

"Okay," Bella squeaked, mentally wincing at her ridiculous-sounding response.

The car smelled better, as if he newly vacuumed the damn thing. There wasn't a paper, a crumb of some inedible food or even one of his mechanic objects in sight in the back seat. It was pretty decent.

While Jacob pulled out of the driveway, he noted how Bella was lost in thought, her eyes flicking from left to right, taking everything in.

"Whatcha thinking about?"

"Uh, nothing," she replied absentmindedly, still looking at her surroundings, her eyebrows furrowed.

"Looks anything but nothing," he went on, "C'mon, you can tell me."

Bella sighed. Served her right. This was expected when one told the truth, "I'm counting everything in your car."

"Why?"

"Because…because it all adds up to a certain number."

And what would that be?" Jacob was truly intrigued. Delving into the crazy mind of Bella Swan could keep him entertained for days.

" Nothing specific. Anything that's even. I just have to make sure everything is even. Like two tires, four seats, two seatbelts. Stuff like that." Bella was fairly surprised at how easy it was to talk to someone else about her strange habits. Jacob was different than Angela. For her female friend never dared ask anything specific. Hell, she never even mentioned that she knew. But Jacob wanted to know. And as his smile nearly lit up the car while she spoke, she knew it was all going to be okay. It fucking had to be.

"You do this all the time in other people's cars?"

"Yeah. And mine as well."

Jacob merely nodded his head, deep in understanding, "Okay."

And he said no more, only sharing another one of his amazing smiles at Bella. The girl could only smile back, letting herself relax among the newly vacuumed cushion.

The drive to First Beach was pleasant enough, with Bella becoming familiar with the road to LaPush. They talked pleasantries on the way, with Jacob not mentioning her secret anymore.

"Before our little talk the other day I was gonna pick you up in my motorcycle," he stated, making a left turn onto a very deserted parking lot facing the beach.

"Wh-what?" A long ago conversation with her father raced to the surface of her mind. She knew he owned a motorbike, but the idea that she possibly had to ride one was nothing less than horrifying.

"If you had an idea of my situation, why did you even think that?" she couldn't help but sound bitchy. The entire notion was completely preposterous.

"I—I didn't think it was that bad. I thought it was just a quirk and I kinda like getting a rise out of you," he ended, trying to make light of Bella's somewhat hostile tone. He shouldn't have mentioned anything. He always found a way to stick his foot in his mouth and this time was no different. He remembered his resolve for that afternoon, and came to the sudden decision that instead of telling Bella now, he would wait until they were firmly settled on the blanket he brought with him at the beach. He would tell her. It was the least he could do after her confession to him. It was best to follow her example and come clean, for he didn't want their relationship to stem from lies.

"Well next time, don't try," she responded teasingly, wanting to assure him that she wasn't really upset. Though she surely was. What could possess him to think that having her ride on the back of a motorcycle, where her hair would probably be extremely windswept and she'd come out smelling like "outside" would be fine? Men.

But the beach was a different story. She had never seen anything more romantic, more secluded than First Beach. It didn't matter to her that this constituted as being part of "outside". The smell of the beach was comforting and welcoming to her. The sun block she was wearing smelled delicious, like scented vanilla and the smell of ocean was wonderful. It was so clean that soon after she got out of Jacob's car she inhaled deeply, closing her eyes and finally exhaling.

"I see you like the beach, huh? And I thought you weren't an outdoorsy kind of girl," Jacob said, taking out the beach blanket from the trunk of his rabbit.

"I'm not. Just think the beach smells clean."

"It does, I'll agree with that," he came up beside her, holding the blanket underneath the crook of his arm, "So where you wanna settle?"

"I think closer to the water sounds nice," And the two of them walked side by side to the water's edge, situating themselves a few feet away.

"Great. Isn't it?" Jacob asked her after a few minutes of silence as they took in their surroundings. The seclusion of it all made Bella feel comfortable. She had Jacob Black all to herself and she wondered if he would attempt to hold her hand. It was a simple, yet romantic gesture that would heavily symbolize the intent of a relationship which making out didn't do.

"Yeah, it is. I vaguely remember coming here for the summers when I was with my Dad," she whispered, her eyes closed, taking in everything.

"Yeah, about that—"But Jacob cut off his own sentence, three people far off in the distance caught his attention, "Shit," he muttered to himself.

"What is it?" Bella turned her head to where he was staring intently, and saw three Quileute girls laughing while they walked close to the water's edge. Her heart almost skipped a beat and she herself wore the same uneasy expression on Jacob's face when one of the girls was none other than Jacob's ex-girlfriend—Leah Clearwater.

She saw them as well, for she stopped dead in her tracks, her eyes almost boring holes into the back of Bella's head. Fucking great.

The couple expected her to stomp over to them, spitting out another snide remark at Bella's expense. But she didn't. They saw her say something to her two companions before they settled themselves as well a few yards away from them.

"I'm sorry," Jacob breathed to Bella, "This usually is pretty secluded. Didn't think she'd be here."

Bell rubbed her covered hands, feeling like a freak again. Why couldn't she be fucking normal for once? Or as hot as Leah? The girl looked amazing in her two piece bathing suit…sort of like Halle Berry did in that James Bond movie.

"It's okay," Bella replied absentmindedly, still focused on the beauty that was Jacob's ex-girlfriend.

"Earth to Bella," Jacob waved a hand over Bella's face, forcing her to snap back to reality, "I've been wanting to tell you something for a couple of days now."

Oh, fucking shit. He brought her out here on one of their most romantic dates to tell her he wanted to stop seeing her. How predictable. And Leah was right there so the two of them could go off into the sunset together. She should have known this from the beginning. His saying he was surprised by her coming was just a pretense. What an asshole. An invisible knife was stabbing itself into her heart. She liked him too much.

"It's fine, I get it," she whispered, trying to put on a brave face so he wouldn't' see how hurt she was. She could act; it was fine.

"You know already," Jacob's dark eyes looked as if they were going to bug out of his sockets. For one of the few times in his life, he felt slightly embarrassed. She guessed, just like he guessed about her. He felt like a lovesick schoolboy.

"Yeah, Leah being here made it pretty fucking obvious." Shit, there goes her plan to act as if she didn't care. Her dropping the f-bomb was the icing on the cake. For Jacob still didn't know what a potty mouth she had.

"What?" he then glanced towards the three girls and his mouth dropped to form an O of realization. She thought he still wanted Leah. Goddamn her for being here!

"No, Leah has nothing to do with this," he then took her hands in his own, something Bella was longing for him to do the entire time, " Since you were honest with me about what's been up with you, I thought I should be honest with you as well. It's best if two people are completely honest with each other so I-"

Before he could continue, he was interrupted by a sexy, throaty voice, "Jake, could I talk to you for a minute?"

It was Leah standing before them, her beautiful face bunched together in a scowl.

Jacob rolled his eyes, "What do you want? I'm having a private conversation with my friend and would wish it if you didn't bug me."

"I'm just asking for a minute of your time," she murmured, gritting her teeth, "I think you can give me at least that."

The former lovers stared at each other for what seemed to Bella like an eternity. But was only six seconds to her calculations.

"Fine. Bella, if you'll excuse me for one moment," And with that, he got up, brushed himself off, and headed with Leah a few yards away from her. But not before Leah gave Bella a triumphant look full of the same malice displayed to her in their meeting not long ago in Harry Clearwater's Fish Fry.

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A/N: You didn't think I'd just forget about Leah, right? Nope, she hasn't gone away. LOL


	20. Chapter 20 Evenly Exquisite Afternoon

A/N: Thanks for all the wonderful reviews and I love all the inquiries about the story but I don't want to give away too much. Just know that I know exactly where I want to go with this story and things (and people) will start unraveling soon enough. Happy Reading!

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Chapter 20. The Evenly Exquisite Afternoon

Though Leah wanted to speak to Jacob privately, Bella could still hear snippets of their conversation. The two of them stood at least a couple of yards away from her, jabbering away.

"You promised you wouldn't bring her here. You promised," Leah exclaimed, running a hand through her dark, glossy hair.

"What the hell are you talking about? I said nothing," Jacob retorted, quickly turning to Bella. But the brief contact was too much for him. His head snapping back to the statuesque woman before him brought him back to reality, a reality he had no desire of facing and tried to put off as long as he could, "What do you want me to say, huh? I'm not allowed to bring a friend to a public beach? Is that it? I can only hang around with her in Forks?" His face was beet red, his hands balled up into fists at his side.

"Yes," she hissed, "That's exactly it. She belongs there and you belong here. Goddammit. You could date any other girl here. Any other Quileute girl and I wouldn't give a flying fuck. But why her?" she flicked her arm in Bella's direction, obviously not caring if she was heard.

The heat that crept up to Bella's cheeks was as bad as it was at the restaurant on that fateful first date. The rapid beating of her heart increased three times. Even when she looked down, trying to make sure the damned thing wouldn't burst, she swore she saw it pushing through the left side of her chest.

_Fucking stupid life force, don't fail on me now._

Bella had to remain strong_. _Leah's words have no effect on her. She is a confident, strong woman who would not let herself be bullied by anyone and thinks her man's random ex-girlfriend is inconsequential. The new mantra kept running through her head. It wouldn't stop. Her mind was working overtime. The ideas kept forcing itself out, even as Leah continued to point at her, screaming at Jacob that she didn't belong. Even as he did his best to act as if Leah was some hysterical psycho bitch, she knew she was right. She really didn't belong. And this was plainly obvious in the way the group of Quileute men who were slowly making their way onto the beach kept staring at her, pointing their stubby fingers at her as if she was some kind of commodity, an oddity of winter snow among their summer tan.

It was the same as in the restaurant. Who was she kidding? What did Jacob really want with her? Was it a way to get back with Leah? Make her jealous? Because it was fucking working all right. But he was a good actor if that was true. His dark eyes intently scrutinized Leah and even from a distance Bella could see them boring holes into her skull. Their voices rose to a higher octave and Bella was relieved when the pair of Quileutes who only minutes before where ogling Bella now turned their complete attention over to the two bickering former lovers.

The only thing she could do now to calm herself down and bring order back into the chaos she so unknowingly stepped into was to count. Count everything. Her goal this time was to reach twelve. Twelve was a good fucking number. Wasn't too high, wasn't too low. Easily obtainable. Leah's two friends were grouped off together. Two.

And so on she went, grouping objects and people around her in pairs, until finally having to group off herself, Leah, and Jacob. Fuck. She was left alone. And she _felt_ alone. Catching more snippets of their conversation just made her feel worse.

"I only promised to not take her to Harry's. That's the only one I said," Jacob said, already looking exhausted from hearing Leah's rantings.

"Yeah, after the fact," she pointed out, "Don't you…don't you think it's too soon?" her voice cracked. She was reaching a breaking point; it was as obvious as night and day.

Bella's stomach dropped. She was the rebound girl. Of course she was. It was all too good to be true—their sweet dates, his picking her up at the Glass House when she needed help, his climbing up to her window and insisting he have her number, and now the somewhat picnic at the beach. How long ago had he broken up with Leah? It must have been very recently, for why would she say that?

"Too soon for what, Leah?" Jacob asked gently, " Too soon to hang out with a friend?"

"She is _not_ a friend, Jake. It's so fucking obvious. And Bella Swan? Bella Swan of all people!" She began shaking her head, exasperated.

Bella instinctively got up, wanting to make a run for it. But where could she go? She got there in Jacob's car. She was stuck. Plain and simple. And she hated being stuck. Claustrophobia crept up on her like a disgusting spider. Her breathing became shallower. She felt like hyperventilating.

Jacob caught her movement from the corner of his eye, and immediately got the hint. For he took two steps in the distraught girl's direction before turning back to his former girlfriend, "Leah, could we talk about this later? I'm really with a friend right now and this is something between you and me. You wouldn't want to keep _your_ friends waiting, would you?"

Jacob was so convincing, so good at smoothing things over and making sure the odds were in his favor. It was obvious in the way Leah's shoulders slumped, defeated. A glance in her horrified friends' expressions confirmed to her the inappropriateness of their bickering. In public. In broad daylight.

She finally relented, turning her head to cast one glance at Bella, her dark eyes hardening as the seconds ticked before turning back to Jacob, "Fine. Come over my house after your…day with her." It wasn't a question.

His face reddened, his hands at his sides tightening into fists, his knuckles turning white, "No," he whispered, barely hiding his rage, "I'll call you when I feel like discussing whatever is bothering you."

"It's not something that's bothering me. It's something that has to be resolved if we're gonna continue to have to see each other in this goddamn place," she retorted, taking one step closer in Jacob's direction, making the two of them look as if they were participants in a face-off, "You will see me when she leaves."

Jacob's body began to shake, hating that Leah still has that affect on him. Has the affect of winning one over him. She was worse than he was. Always had to have everything her way. Always had to have the last word.

The next words are ones he's said repeatedly throughout their three year relationship. The one word that depicted who wore the pants in their relationship- the word that sealed his fate as less than manly, "Okay."

That was it. Those two syllables that continually caused Leah's beautiful features to light up with a self-satisfied smirk. Signaling she had won, that she always wins, and that he should never forget it.

"See you afterwards, Jake," she concluded, heading back to her friends.

Bella had no idea why Jacob just lingered there, almost frozen to the spot, staring after Leah. She almost had the mind to stomp over to him and slap his face just to snap him out of his stupor. But it's to her relief that he composed himself, trudging back to Bella.

"I'm so sorry about that," he said, not even attempting to sit back down. He stood awkwardly, shuffling his feet back and forth. All the signs of his manliness had been stripped away, and the only thing Bella sees is a scared boy. He suddenly looks years younger and something stirs within her, something she can't explain.

"It's fine," she said, not entirely aware of _what_ she is saying. The need to leave this supposedly remote, beautiful beach rose up within her. The need to count any tangible object still in effect, " We'll just leave because we can never hang out here since I'm so unwelcomed anywhere in La Push and because your ex-girlfriend controls everything you do."

She couldn't help it. She rose from the floor, kicking up sand in front of her, wishing desperately that there was a rock or something that she could throw at a nearby tree which looked as if it was made to be thrown rocks at. Or throw one at Jacob. But she would probably end up in jail. Fuck.

"Hey, hey, hey" Jacob whispered, placing a warm hand on her arm. The quick glance he tossed the three girls almost a mile away caused Bella to quench the desire to grab a handful of sand and shove it in his mouth, "She doesn't control me. I could give a shit about her. I only said yes so she could leave us the hell alone."

"But why would you want to see her after we spend the day together?" she asked, "You _were _planning to spend the day with me, right?" Bella racked her brain trying to figure out if he mentioned that tidbit or not. She hoped he had because if he hadn't, she would look fucking pathetic.

"Yes," he assured her, letting his hands move from her arm to her hands. Hand that he could never see no matter how hard he tried. Looking into her fearful, questioning gaze invoked how truly different she was from Leah. She was so confident, so manipulative and strong. And Bella wasn't. Or she didn't allow herself to be. She needed him, needed his help and Leah turning up fucked everything. He saw Bella closing him out, her eyes focusing on various different things. She was doing her counting thing again. And he knew once she started on that, she was a goner.

"Bella, I wanted this day to be special," he began, placing his index finger underneath her chin and forcing her to look at him, "because I wanted to share something with you. Something I thought I should since you shared so much of yourself with me the other day."

The girl was torn between feelings of confusion, fright, and elation. She was confused over what he could possibly have to tell her, frightened about its being that he still has feelings for Leah, and elation over it possibly being that he is falling in love with her; the third one being the most ridiculous of them all. She knew she should stop reading romance novels and watching Meg Ryan films. They had her living in a small bubble of her own self-delusion and stupidity. Did she really just briefly think that after only two weeks she would be that breathtakingly wonderful that he would already be madly in love ?

_Grow the fuck up and get yourself out of your Jane Austen World_, she thought.

"You okay?" he asked, noticing the wrinkling of her nose and the worry lines forming on her forehead.

"Yeah, fine. We can talk. Your house?" Bella almost slapped herself for her eloquent choice of words. Her fear made her incohesive and barely able to string two words together. Great.

"Yeah, sure."

The ride to his house was silent with either of them having nothing to say. It seemed unnatural to talk of mundane things such as the weather, how the previous day was, Bella's shopping trip, Jacob's inspection of two completely fucked up mechanical engines, and the like. They were appropriate choices of conversation on the ride over, but Leah Clearwater sent their former ease out the window. Each of them prayed for even a glimpse of the Black residence.

It took Jacob's buddy Quil standing on the small porch of the house in order for him to finally use his vocal chords, "Hey, whatcha doin' here?" It was not a casual greeting.

"Just wanted to see if…" he glanced at Bella, his now quirked up eyebrows said it all, "I'll leave you to it, then."

Bella wrinkled her nose in disgust. What the fuck did that mean? _Leave you to it._ Did he think Jacob and her were going to have sex?

" Leave me to what?" Jacob asked, causing Bella to let out a sigh of relief. He was as shocked as she was.

"You…" Quil stopped speaking once he took in her mortified expression and his friends' one of fury, "Yeah, I'll talk to you later, man."

"Yeah, see ya around," Jacob merely shook his head, grabbing Bella's hand and leading her into his house. She turned around and watched Quil's retreating back, his shoulders shook up and down as if he was laughing. Bella wouldn't be surprised if he was. She always got the feeling that his friends thought she was some kind of a joke. It only added on to her already horrible day. Could nothing go right just for once?

"Sorry about that," Jacob said for the second time that day. Bella only sighed, trying so hard to suppress the anger already forming within her chest. She felt it rise up in her throat, making it raspy. She swallowed three times, allowing saliva to wet it again. But it was all for naught. Her constant dry throat only got her more pissed.

The house was a mess, which only made Bella want to scream. It stunk of cabbage and she could tell that the floor hadn't been properly mopped in over a week.

"Can we sit in the dining room?" she asked, noticing that it looked like the only spot that was inhabitable. The lack of cabbage-stench in the kitchen could only mean one thing—he and Billy eat their dinner in front of the TV. Disgusting. She figured her father used to do the same, but at least he had the sense to eat dinner properly at the table once she moved in. The Black family needed a woman's touch. But she doubted it would be her. Most likely his precious Leah would be the chosen one. Fucking great.

"Sure, sure," Jacob replied, not even attempting to argue. He totally fucked up and he should just take her crazy shit today. He felt like such a whipped boy. Whipped by Leah and now whipped by Bella. He needed to take control of his life and pronto," Sit down, relax," he pushed back a chair for her, allowing her to sit down before scooting it back in. Good. That was a start. Back to being a man.

But now came the most crucial part and he had been deliberating all night on how to bring it up. Should he just say it or build up to it? Build up to it. He knew it. He felt in his bones that would be the best way. He practiced it all night in front of his crappy half-broken mirror, as if he was going to propose. Why was he so scared? He shouldn't but he was. He was borderline creepy and he knew it.

"Bella," he began, taking her tiny hands in his own, "You used to come here every summer, right? When you were a kid?"

Bella raised her eyebrows speculatively, expecting that to be the last question he'd ever ask, "Yeah, why?"

Jacob hung his head down, barely able to meet her gaze, "You remember Billy, though, right?"

It suddenly dawned on her—Jacob was upset because she didn't remember him. But that was so stupid since he didn't remember her either. Why the fuck was he bringing up something so idiotic at that moment? When he needed to tell her that Leah still means nothing to him. God, men are so fucking stupid. He might as well have just asked her if she preferred the Yankees or the Mets. They were completely irrelevant topics and only increased her anger and made her throat even drier. She had enough sense to walk out at that exact moment. But her being in LaPush and not having access to her own vehicle as well as hating walking in the outdoors for a long time prevented her from doing so.

"Yeah. Jacob, where is this going?" She sounded exasperated. And at that moment, he knew he had to make this good. He had to do it. She took the plunge with him and he was going to take it with her.

"How come you don't remember me?" he finally asked his voice so low that it was only a whisper. But Bella heard it loud and clear.

She sighed again, correctly predicting where he was going with it, "I'm sorry. I really didn't like anyone and I hated being here so don't take offense to that. I mostly kept to myself in my room…"

"That isn't necessarily true," Jacob interrupted, only now looking up to meet her gaze. His expression was serious, and his mouth was slightly parted.

"What do you mean?" she asked, now more confused than ever. Where the hell _was _he going with this?

"I used to see you out on the lake with my father and Charlie. You were so quiet and always had such a scowl on your face that I thought you were a stuck up brat," he continued, his back resting against his chair, now completely relaxed, "Rebecca and Rachel tried to play with you but you were such a little snot to them that they didn't really like you for most of the summers you were here."

At this point, Bella began to hyperventilate. This was all a joke. She understood why Quil was there, laughing. They were mocking her. She regretted being so closed off to people. But what did she know? She was only a kid. A stupid kid at that. She was forced to go fishing with her father, hating being outdoors. Hating the smell of fish and afraid of having it stick to her. She really didn't remember Jacob Black at all, but that was probably because he did something so awful to her that she forced her brain to block it.

"I understand now," Bella said, her voice shaking, "You played a trick on me. You were playing with me and your stupid friends and your stupid, gorgeous girlfriend are in on it…"

"Hey, hey, hey" Jacob exclaimed, getting up out of his chair and grabbing on to Bella's wrists as she tried to get away from the table, "Hear me out, okay? You always go to these crazy conclusions," he laughed nervously, knowing he had made a serious mess of things, "please sit down."

Once she did he continued, "Every time your Dad would force you to come over or we were forced to go to your house I would completely ignore you. You don't remember me because every time your Dad had visitors you would go up and hide in your room."

"That obvious?" she asked, taking Jacob's previous position of not meeting his gaze.

"Yeah, we all knew. No matter what excuse the Chief gave."

"I'm sorry," it was the only thing she could say. It was times like these where she wished she was more outgoing, lively, and vivacious as a child. Basically be someone else.

"That's not the point, Bella," he began, inhaling deeply, "One day I went upstairs. I had to go to the bathroom and your room was slightly open…"

"What are you saying? You saw me naked or something?" Oh, God. What a fucking nightmare. She hated her body back then. More than she did now. Pimples and zits galore. Plus her mother would buy her the worst training bras of life that she couldn't even look at herself in the mirror. And the idea that Jacob Black saw her naked or even in her underwear was mortifying enough.

"No," he whined, laughing, "There you go again, jumping to conclusions. I…I heard you singing. I didn't know at the time what you were singing. But I'll never forget it. Bella, you simply lit up. You…you had a personality. You had the prettiest voice I ever heard and I couldn't help but peek in and I saw you twirling around your room, dancing. I think you started doing dance steps too. And I wondered why this girl never acted that way with us? If she could be this much fun why would she always have to hide? I became interested then. Just knowing more about you and getting up the courage to talk to you. It wasn't easy, you know. You weren't the most approachable person in the world. But that was also the last time I ever saw you. You decided you didn't want to come back next summer. Or the summer after that."

"I-"she stopped herself before she could say something stupid and unromantic. He had seen her dancing her "secret dance", something she never shared with anyone. Bella couldn't grasp the concept of his developing an interest in her because of that. It was so effortless, so imperfect. It seemed too easy. She was caught between embarrassment and shock.

"Please say something," he finally whispered, for once mirroring Bella's own insecurities. For a split second she thought that he was ashamed of his having a crush on her. But the slight, forced smile that slowly spread on his face said it all.

"You were embarrassed to tell me, weren't you? Like what I told you about my…disorder?" she asked.

"Yeah, before you told me I wasn't going to say a damned thing," he laughed nervously, running a hand through his hair.

"But why would that be something you wanted to hide?" Bella didn't understand. Her predicament seemed much more plausible and valid of being something shameful but this…this was probably the most unromantic romantic thing anyone has ever told her.

"God, because I sound like a schoolboy with a crush," he exclaimed, hiding his face in his hands and shaking his head.

Bella couldn't help but smile. It was amazing how Jacob could easily turn her fit of rage into something light and humorous.

"And is that a bad thing?" she couldn't help but ask, even though it was endearing to her. It didn't matter that he was built and six foot five in height. At that exact moment, he looked no more than fifteen, and Bella wished more than anything that she had stayed a few more summers with Charlie. Jacob probably would have been a good friend to her.

"Is it a bad thing to you?" he asked, finally lifting his head to meet Bella's amused gaze.

"No. It was very sweet and I'm flattered," she responded, knowing it was the full truth.

"You're not turned off by it?"

"No," Bella raised her eyebrows in surprise, " I thought you would find my singing ridiculous but you telling me this makes me feel…" she couldn't finish the sentence, afraid of admitting out loud how unsure of herself she was, what really low opinion she had of her own self-worth.

"Makes you feel what, Bells?" he asked, leaning in close to her. His eyes focused on nothing but her lips, which slowly made Bella forget exactly what she was going to say, only aware of the heat emanating from Jacob's body. Aware that he just gave her a nickname and coming from him, it sounded sensual.

"Makes me feel…" _.Horny._ That was the only fucking thing she was feeling. But she would be damned if she would say that out loud, "desirable."

_Good. That was much better._

Jacob surprised her by laughing, therefore breaking their intense contact. What did she say wrong?

"What's so funny?" she asked, looking anywhere in the room other than him. She hoped she could find something to distract her, like a light stain on the kitchen counter that she could easily get up to clean.

"Nothing. I just never thought of that word to describe your singing," he responded.

"Than what would you describe it?" Fuck it. She unfortunately couldn't find one goddamn spot.

"Intriguing," Bella focused her attention on him, again feeling that sense of ease from just moments before.

And that was how they were for the next forty-three seconds according to Bella's calculations- Just smiling at each other, each of them occasionally succumbing to some of their quirks. Jacob's running his hand through his hair. Bella's rapid eye movement around the room, sizing everything up. But it was after the forty-fourth second had passed when Jacob broke their tranquility, reaching into the pockets of his pants and pulling out his cell phone.

Bella heard a light, but excited voice on the other end and nearly went into panic mode when Jacob confirmed who it was. Leah. He was calling Leah.

"Hey, listen. I can't talk to you today or in awhile actually. I'm spending the whole day with Bella and probably tomorrow too," he smiled shyly at her, as if to silently ask if that was okay. She loved when he acted this way. It was more comforting than the whole sexy act.

All Bella heard was the voice on the other end rising to a higher octave but Jacob quickly ended the call, stuffing the cell phone back into his pocket. She had seen in countless movies and read in books how one person is given a moment of realization—a moment of deciding that they could allow themselves to fall in love with a person or not. She never believed in this before, always thinking that a declaration of love or love at first sight would be what was needed to finally experience that emotion she had never felt. Until now. She knew that this was it. This man who didn't need persuasive words from Bella to convince him to do something for their prospective relationship. He didn't have to be told to call Leah and cancel. He just did it. He knew what she wanted, what would make her comfortable. No one ever knew her that well. And she realized that this was the time—this was the second where she could decide if he was the one for her.

The snapping of the phone being shut and the burying of it in his pocket said it all—Bella Swan chose to fall in love with Jacob Black.


	21. Chapter 21 The Odd Breakdown

A/N: Sorry for the delay. RL called. Good News: I have just been nominated for the Underdog contest under the category of best foot-popping kiss that is taking place in the livejournal community the air_thesun. this is the link: .com/theair_. You have to have a livejournal account to vote and it's up until july 12th. please vote if you can. WIthout further ado, I give you chapter 21.

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Chapter 21. The Odd Breakdown.

Life in Forks was great from then on. Bella loved waking up in the morning to a fresh cup of black coffee while taking her sweet ass time in the shower before heading out to work. She dealt with her students much better than before, laughing at their stupid jokes and disregarding their comments that would normally get a rise out of her. In fact, she began to look at her life through completely different eyes and she knew Jacob Black was the reason for this. Her heart would race every time her cell phone vibrated, knowing it was him that called. She couldn't pass one lunch period talking to Angela without daydreaming about her tall, dark, and handsome boyfriend. He didn't say as much, but she already knew that was what they were.

The first time he held her hand was on Tuesday afternoon when he showed up in his rabbit, smiling up at her as he gave her lunch from their mutual favorite restaurant, Serenity.

"You didn't have to get me this," Bella said as she took the tightly wrapped steaming bowl of broccoli cheese soup in her hands, "If you keep feeding me this I'll probably get sick of it."

"I hope you don't," Jacob replied, lightly taking her hand in his own and casually swinging their entwined hands back and forth, "'Cause I don't know what else to bring you."

She could barely respond. The only thing she noticed was the warmth of him against her. They were joined; with the only thing separating them was a flimsy piece of fabric. Bella honestly had no clue what she said next. It was probably something along the lines of them having to eat the lunch quickly in the Teacher's lounge before next period but she wasn't too sure. Her main fixation was on the easy swing of their hands side by side as they walked through the halls of Forks High. Bella felt like Drew Barrymore did in _Never Been Kissed_. A grown woman reliving something she had never experienced in high school. Who really wanted to date her in high school? No one. No one wanted a perfectionist and overly clingy girlfriend.

But Jacob did- at least the perfectionist part. She took a page from one of the many relationship books she had devoured throughout the years and acted as if she really didn't care around him. Keep herself busy. Do things that didn't revolve around Jacob. But that was fucking hard. It was enough of a hassle to put up a front but to try to internally feel that way as well was too much.

Those sections of her self-help books would just have to be skipped and it was pure luck that all of them placed those you-can-find-your-own-self-worth parts in odd chapters. Very convenient. All Bella needed was too convince Jacob and everyone else that she was strong and independent. Who gave a flying fuck what she thought of herself? She could act. It's true she never tried it but then again all she had to do was emulate any of her movie star inspirations and she would be fine.

Yes, she was the "It" girl now. The faculty and some of the older high school girls stared at her in the school hallways with what could only be envy. They were envious of _her_ and of her relationship with a hot, buff Native American guy. And she was loving it.

A smirk suddenly plastered itself on her face when she passed Jessica Stanley. The girl looked positively tongue-tied and all she could do was stand there in the middle of the Teacher's lounge and ogle at Jacob. Bella had no idea if Jessica remembered seeing him briefly that horrendous night at the Glass House, but it didn't matter. One point for Swan, zero for Stanley.

"You sure have quiet co-workers," Jacob observed as the two of them sat in a remote part of the lounge, with Bella placing her bags and two separate stacks of papers on the two seats on either side of her after repeatedly wiping them down with baby wipes she kept stashed in the farthest corner of the overly crowded cupboard.

"They're just wondering who you are," Bella replied, taking out her own silver spoon from her bag, slowly sipping on her soup.

"Ah."

It was his only response. Bella felt her stomach drop with disappointment. It was similar to the time when she wasn't picked as a potential candidate in Eighth grade to be a contestant at the National Spelling Bee in Phoenix. She was so confident in her spelling abilities, so sure that she would stand out among the rest. And even though she answered all the questions correctly, it was as if Mrs. Thompson hadn't even noticed her, overlooked her, and couldn't see the overly eager and extremely dedicated look on the thirteen year old's face. Jacob didn't even attempt to define their relationship, and Bella hoped and prayed that he would after she followed all those ridiculous steps from those stupid fucking books.

"Are you going to work today?" she finally asked, changing the subject. Jacob looked more groomed than usual, but the white wife-beater he was wearing as well as the gray uniform with his name sewn in on the upper left hand corner was enough to tell her that he would be.

"Yeah, in about an hour. It's been pretty relaxed this week. Tire rotations mostly. By the way,' he said, a light smile playing around his lips, "When you gonna come by to get your tires rotated? You could put that card I gave you to good use."

"Well, you really only gave me that card so you could ask me out and you got that wish. But I really can't be in an auto shop for a very long time," Bella responded matter-of-factly, taking another sip of her soup.

"I get that, which is why it makes it that much harder for me to work on my motorbikes."

She stopped mid-sip. "You have more than one motorbike?"

Jacob laughed. "No, they're not mine. Well…not really. I buy separate parts and work on them on my own for fun. I eventually sell them but since I've started hanging out with you," he whispers the last part, slowly taking the dormant spoon out of her mouth and holding it in front of her, as if wanting her to finish, " I haven't had much time."

"Then maybe I should try to take up more of your time then," Bella breathed, feeling comfortable enough to kiss him lightly. She hardly gave a shit. The entire staffroom was already used to the large amount of PDA that would occur between the two lovebirds and it was just fine. Plus it was always reassuring that Jacob always made sure to have his breath smell minty before he went to see her.

"Please do," he replied, running his hand along her arm. Bella kept on kissing him, even after she heard slight noises of disgust and the various "please get a room" coming from the general direction of Jessica Stanley's usual table. But Bella didn't care. She had a boyfriend and that was all that mattered.

Dr. Jenkins' office was tidy. Really tidy. Tidier than it has ever been. But for the life of her Bella couldn't pinpoint what about the room was actually clean. The disgusting brown carpet remained the same, as did the two overstuffed couches and Dr. Jenkins still had a plethora of paper piles on her desk but it was similar to feeling a half cup of water was half-full rather than half-empty. It didn't feel that hectic to her…and that was a VERY good thing.

"How you feeling this week, Bella?" Dr. Jenkins began, pulling up a now semi-full file that was obviously Bella's and opening it, taking out a few papers.

"Good, really good." And it was the first time she meant it. She could only count up to twenty-nine times she had lied to any of her previous doctors about her getting better. There had to be more…at least she felt like there were.

"You happy with Jacob?" Dr. Jenkins was torn between liking that her patient was in a relationship and hating it. She kept insisting that Bella hang out with her friend Angela. But it seemed like the poor, afflicted girl had fallen into the "boy takes over your life syndrome". The doctor always hated hearing about it from her other patients, and knew it stemmed from insecurity as well as a lack of being involved in any real previous romantic relationships. She dreaded the day Bella would get off this high she was in. Because once you got off the high, you start delving into your low points. Not on her watch. Isabella Swan wouldn't dare allow herself to fall back on her obsessive, destructive behavior. Because if she did, it would only show Dr. Jenkins as a failure and that the girl's medication was not working. She already had prescriptions half-written for a later time period when she would need to increase her dosage. That was it. Increase the dosage and insist on her attending her meetings.

"Yeah, things are going great," Bella said, interrupting Dr. Jenkins thoughts, "We're actually going to see a movie this weekend. Of course, I'm a bit nervous about it. I usually don't go to theatres. So much bacteria and sticky things like gummy bears on the floor that the ushers don't bother to pick up. It grosses me out, but Jacob told me there's a real nice one in Port Angeles."

The slight _taptapping _of the doctor's newly manicured nail against the hand rest of her velvet chair made Bella slightly queasy. This feeling only seemed to increase lately during her visits to the shrink. Any comment about her illness was enough to set off the normally calm woman, causing her to sigh in exasperation or drum her fingers against any wooden surface—just as she was doing now.

Bella debated whether she should just omit any conversations Jacob and she had over her "quirks" as he liked to call them but she would always forget.

"Ms, Swan," Dr. Jenkins began, finally stopping the slow rhythm of her nails against wood, placing them lightly on her lap, "Have you done any of the exercises we talked of?"

"I tried, but it's no use. They don't help much anyway, since Jake seems to be fine with everything and makes it all that much easier for me. He's…just really great." The smile on her lips was enough to make Dr. Jenkins squirm. This wasn't right. She had to get things back on track immediately.

"Well, I want you to try to do one exercise. When you begin counting things, just stop at two. Force yourself to do that. Don't continue on; pretend as if everything is not there. I understand that my giving you liberty to count up to a certain number could be considered as a "quirk," At this, the doctor make quotation signals with her hands, "As you so call it, in itself. But we have to slowly ease you out of it. Your weekly group should be able to assist you with that. You can work some exercises with them."

Fuck. The stupid group. The people were nice but Edward Cullen's presence was still enough to make her want to quit all together. Ever since she grew the balls to tell him off that day he hadn't said a word to her. At the second meeting she thought it was a blessing in disguise, but after a couple of sessions she could see the scrutiny and slight ridicule in his face every time he looked at her. When their eyes met the asshole did not even have the decency to look away, only stare at her more intently before looking away in disgust. Bella now wished he could go back to verbally insulting her.

Alice still continued to act friendly with her, constantly apologizing for her brother's dickwad behavior. But it still didn't make it any better.

"I hate the group. I wanna stop going," Bella said for the thirty-second time. The statement was similar to a wind-up doll. She barely showed any emotion while requesting it. It was almost mechanical.

Dr. Jenkins sighed, knowing the routine very well. "You can't, Bella. You've only been going there for three weeks. You'll see the improvements. I promise." It was less a promise and more like a command for herself. The doctor didn't take too kindly to failure and there was always that little lurking devil in the back of her mind known as uncertainty that more days than not overshadowed her confidence. She just had to keep telling herself that the group sessions were good and helpful. They worked for all of her former patients so why shouldn't it work for Isabella Swan?

"I just hate one group member," Bella insisted, finally deciding to admit the reason for her misery with the nightly meetings.

"Who?"

"Some guy named Edward Cullen." Bella hung her head, concentrating on her hands. Just saying the name out loud made her feel embarrassed, made it seem all too real. An open of being bullied, and she hadn't been bullied since she was in sixth grade.

"Oh," was all the doctor could say. Edward Cullen was a patient of hers and even more troublesome than Ms. Swan.

"You know him?' Every muscle in Bella's body tensed at the idea. She kept forgetting how small of a town Forks really was.

"Yes, he's one of my patients." It took only a few seconds for Dr. Jenkins to decide to share that only tidbit of information with Bella. Since he is a part of the girl's therapy group, it would be safe to assume that he must be in treatment as well. All members of the group were only referred there by their doctors.

It was Bella's turn to respond with a simple, "Oh." It wasn't surprising, really. Again, it was a _really_ small town.

The girl waited for any information, anything that the doctor could say to explain why he was such a jerk. But the common sense part of her brain told her it would never happen.

But her shrink didn't linger on the awkward pause, but dived into her next question, "Have you spoken to your mother recently?"

Bella mentally groaned. There wasn't a session that passed where the woman didn't mention her mother. Dr. Jenkins seemed to be under the impression that she had some sort of lack of communication with her mother. What a load of bullshit. She was closer to her than her father. Dr. Jenkins just needed something to harp on since she was already doing so well.

"Two days ago," Bella answered, crossing her arms.

"Good, good. How was that?"

Bella couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Fine, nothing out of the ordinary, if that's what you're implying. I told her how much I'm starting to like my job now and about Jacob."

"Mmm hmm," the doctor replied absentmindedly, quickly jotting notes down into Bella's ever-growing personal file, "Has she asked you if you want to go home?"

"No, she hasn't. And I don't think she will."

"Does that bother you?"

"No. Why should it? I'm not a kid anymore. I don't need to always depend on my parents," Bella blurted out before she really thought about what she was saying. She lived with her father, literally moved from one parent to another. And she was twenty-five years old. So much for not being a kid anymore. Bella never really thought about how old she really was. In her mind, she still thought and acted like a nineteen year-old. Was Dr. Jenkins implying she should grow up? It was an entirely new concept for her. No one had ever told her she needed to.

"Time's up," Dr. Jenkins exclaimed, making a show of getting up from her couch and opening the door for her patient, "You can go set up your next appointment with Bertha…and please go to the group session tomorrow." The doctor looked at her with what could only be described as a twinkle in her eye, which Bella took for as a sign that she wanted her to think of her previous comment. Dr. Jenkins sometimes had a way of doing that. It only took Bella a matter of two weeks to figure that out. There was nothing left for her to do but to tough it out yet another week.

* * *

The next day was nothing less but torture. Her car wasn't working well to begin with—she noticed the extra pressure she had to put on the accelerator just to get the damned thing to move. She hated being late to anything, and just a quick glance at the dashboard confirmed how lucky she would be if she got to the meeting at least ten minutes late.

Jake hadn't answered her calls that day. She left three messages, all of them attempting to sound as nonchalant as possible. If she wasn't so worried about not being needy, she would have called him fourteen times. She kept telling herself he was probably really busy doing…mechanic-like…things. She still barely knew what he did in that stinky garage. He knew better than to ask her to visit him there and she knew better than to accept.

But the impending fear at the moment was arriving late to the group meeting. It would be just one more thing that Edward would ridicule her about. It would be an unspoken one but still just as intimidating.

Bella made sure to quickly perform her ritual before racing out to the main entrance. Fuck her stupid car. Edward Cullen would not make fun of her today. She would seriously punch him in the face if he so much as smirked at her.

As she slowly opened the huge creaking door leading to her doom, she could barely hear a pin drop. Bella was hoping on the fact that everyone would already be talking and a buzz similar to a bee's would be heard throughout the room. No such luck.

"Nice to see you joining us, Bella" their group leader exclaimed in the chirpy voice that now irritated her to no end.

"Sorry, I had car problems," Bella mumbled, avoiding eye contact with anyone as she took the nearest empty seat. It was the only one that was empty. She just hoped it all went by quickly.

"Are we all really expected to believe that?" Edward's smooth, melodic voice rang out. It was the first thing he'd said in three weeks in reference to her.

"Edward, Please" the leader warned, turning to Bella and smiling warmly.

"Sorry. But she always seems so frightened of coming here that I only wonder," Edward mused, leaning back in his chair.

Bella noticed the others rolling their eyes. Good. They were annoyed with him and sympathizing with her. Point one for Bella.

She was about to let it go and just try to ignore him when she quickly glanced at his smirking face, his green eyes taunting her. She hated him. It was s o easy to admit that now, now that she was seeing him face to face.

"Maybe people should be concerned with their own problems and bettering themselves instead of concentrating on such trivial things," she stammered, knowing that she wasn't expressing herself well. She sounded like an idiot.

"Well, isn't the whole point of us being here is to understand each other in order to overcome our problems? And what better way to do that than to focus on triviality," he responded, a smile playing around his lips.

God, how she hated him. He was right and his belittling her in front of the others only made matters worse. But at least everyone else seemed to sympathize with her. The twenty-three people around her shook their heads in disapproval, which made Bella feel a tad bit better.

She could barely concentrate on what Albert, the hypochondriac mailman, was talking about. She would nod her head and look at him talking to make it seem as if she was giving the poor man her full concentration. But it was very difficult when the Cullen idiot's eyes were on her, watching her, knowing that she wasn't paying a lick of attention. All she could do was peek at her phone throughout the group session, counting down the seconds until she could leave.

By the time their leader dismissed them, Bella bounded out the door, for once not caring if anyone took that as being rude.

The thirty-three steps to her car were like an omen, a prediction of the shit that would soon occur. For low and behold, after she performed her car ritual the vehicle decided not to start.

She tried turning the ignition once, twice, three times and nothing. Turning the steering wheel all the way to the right while attempting for the fourth time to start the thing, it made what could only be described as a lurching noise and then died for good.

Fuck.

She began to panic, cursing her car to oblivion, wanting everything to be perfect. Why did this have to happen? What the fuck did she do to deserve this today? Jacob not calling her, Edward deciding to make a comment about her out of the blue and now this?

Angrily punching Jacob's number for the fourth time, she wasn't surprised to hear the now familiar voice message. Bella was close to letting out all her frustration at him, but could only allow just a tinge of annoyance to coat her otherwise fake sweet message for him to call her back.

She was about to attempt another failed ignition start-up when she heard a slight tapping on her side window. Bella almost ignored it, pretending to rummage through her purse in order to avoid whatever asshole wanted to point out the obvious of her car not starting, but ultimately decided against it.

One flick of her head told her Alice Cullen was the culprit, who could only display such tenderness and concern for her that it immediately caused the all too-familiar feeling of guilt within Bella's chest.

"Hey," she said, rolling down the window.

"You need a lift?"

Good God, no. No way would she ever ride in a car with Edward Cullen. "No, it's fine. I just left a message for my boyfriend to pick me up. He's a mechanic," she exclaimed, hoping that explained everything.

"You left a message?" Alice questioned, quickly glancing at Bella's phone.

"Yeah," Fuck. She got caught. She should've said called. Dammit.

"I'd feel bad leaving you out here. What if he doesn't respond? We're here. We can take you back," the girl offered as if it was the most natural thing in the world to offer rides to acquaintances.

"No, it's fine. I'll wait."

"I promise my brother won't bother you," Alice said.

Bella couldn't help but snort. The hurt look on Alice's face made her instantly regret it, "I'm sorry. It's just that I can't really imagine your brother not bothering me."

"Bother you about what?" Edward asked, coming up right beside his sister, looking at Bella curiously.

"About wanting to give me a ride home since my car broke down," Bella answered, feeling her heart pounding loudly within her chest. Just being near him made her want to puke. She wanted Jacob, needed him.

"Completely out of the question. Let's go," he addressed his sister, grabbing her hand to lead her away.

Bella couldn't help but feel hurt by his comment and relieved at the same time. They were leaving her alone, letting her wait for Jacob to respond to her call. Perfect.

"But what if he doesn't respond?" Alice repeated, obviously not letting the subject go.

"He will. He always does," Bella explained, now feeling annoyed rather than guilty at Alice's insistence.

"Who does?" Edward questioned, returning back to his sister's side.

"My boyfriend."

"You have a boyfriend?" The incredulous look on his face was enough to make Bella imagine punching it.

"Yes, for your information. Is that so hard to believe?" she hissed. She loved the way she sounded, so bitchy. It was wonderful.

"Yes, I do…fine, she can ride with us," Edward said. And without another word, he headed to his shiny, expensive vehicle.

"You heard him," Alice gushed. She opened Bella's door and patted the seat, as if signaling for her to obey, "Let's go."

Bella mentally cursed to herself as she reluctantly got out of the car, transferring her frustration to Jacob for not calling her back in time. If he had, she wouldn't be in this mess and wouldn't have to endure spending at least another ten to twenty minutes in an enclosed space with Edward Cullen.


	22. Chapter 22 The Even Dream House

A/N: Hey guys! You may all be wondering if I died or something. But nope! Sorry it took so long, had to deal with whole other shit in RL. Thanks for all the reviews and Don't worry, this story will continue on! Happy Reading!

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Chapter 21. The Even Dream House'

Bella barely needed to count anything, the car was so fucking clean she could easily pair up anything. There was nothing extra in the backseat, which was where she was seated while she tried to find a perfect time to perform her usual car ritual. It didn't matter if she was driving or not. It needed to be done. If not, she knew for certain that nothing would go right. It didn't help any either that she was stuck in a car with that dickwad Edward Cullen.

She inconspicuously tried to roll up her socks, looking at the rearview mirror every so often to make sure his bright green eyes weren't locked on her. They weren't.

"How long until Mom gets back?" Edward asked, steering the wheel to his right.

"I don't know. In about an hour or so. Why?" Alice responded, fixing her make-up through the compact mirror on the flap.

"I'll be in my room until then."

"Why are you such an ass?"

"Because I choose to be," Edward offered no further explanation and from then on, not a pin drop was heard.

Awkward wouldn't even begin to describe how Bella felt. Trapped would be more like it. She was thisclose to opening the car door and throwing herself off. And Jacob still hadn't called her. She prayed he'd call within the next few minutes so she could get the fuck out of there.

"Bella, you okay back there?" Alice suddenly asked, turning around to face her.

"Yeah, I'm good." She didn't sound convincing though. She wasn't a good actress.

"She's thinking about her tall, dark, and handsome boyfriend." Edward smirked, laughing to himself as if it was the funniest thing in the world.

Bella felt something within her snap, and before she could think, she retorted, "You're just jealous."

She immediately regretted her words. A hot flush crept up her cheeks and her heart pounded so loud she was sure the two Cullens could hear it. What a stupid thing to fucking say.

Edward laughed harder, his shoulders moving up and down with rapidity, "Don't flatter yourself. You are not my type."

Bella expected worse. But it still hurt. Hearing people say how much they dislike her, no matter if she liked them or not, was disconcerting.

She fixed her face to display a nonchalant attitude laced with a smirk. Once she felt the tiny tear fall trickle down her cheek, she turned her face away, laughing his comment off while she wiped it away. He was perceptive enough to have caught that pathetic action. But if he did, he didn't comment on it. At least he gave her that.

"Edward, you're suck a fucking dick," Alice exclaimed, letting out an exasperated sigh. Bella gazed at her, unable to hide the shock on her faces. Bella had never heard Alice so much as use a swear word. And from the similar look on Edward's face, he hadn't either.

"Alice, it was just a joke."

"I really hope it was, Ed."

That was the last thing anyone said in the car. From Bella's counting, it took them ten more minutes until they pulled up to the hugest house Bella had ever seen. It looked like something that would be shown on _Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous._ The home was very remote, almost hidden in a thicket of trees near the woods. But once they pulled up past the large, black iron gate, what stood before her was the epitome of an expensive, modern home.

The Cullens were rich. Filthy rich. She didn't know if she should be embarrassed by her middle-class lifestyle or deeply impressed. She should have known how rich they were by the car Alice drove. The girl had no need to work and now she definitely didn't understand how Edward could be so depressed about life. After a few weeks of listening to his bitching and moaning about his horrible life and finally seeing how everything was given to him on a silver platter caused a new surge of hatred to rise up in her chest. He had no fucking reason to complain.

The Cullen mansion was two stories tall- with clear glass windows that overlooked into a modern staircase with only long tiles. From the outside, Bella could clearly see a dining room table that looked unused, as if it on display as part of a museum. The actual table itself was made out of glass and the cushioning of the chairs were white with dark legs.

Absolutely gorgeous. She almost creamed herself with how tidy everything was. Edward was a fucking idiot.

The two Cullens still said nothing to each other as they strode to the front of the house, with Bella following them. The girl almost pissed her pants as she counted the steps up to the main entrance- twenty-four steps. It was like a dream. What she wouldn't give to kick the Cullens out of the house and live in this dream world all by herself?

The little walkway that led to the front door had a little pond on either side- with schools of fish swimming about the small stream. This didn't seem like a house that belonged in such a boring town like Forks. They probably would've thought the entire landscaping was quite a commodity- something to be ogled at. But to Bella, it seemed like the perfect home. It didn't matter that this was where the devil incarnated known as Edward Cullen resided in, this was the type of house she would love to live in. Perfection itself.

And oh, how fucking clean it must be! Bella bet she could lick the floor for a good ten minutes and not an ounce of bacteria would travel to her tongue.

"Home, sweet home," Alice called out as she unlocked the door and opened it. The girl made sure to wipe her heels on the brand-new looking dark brown welcome mat before stepping inside.

Maybe the Cullens weren't so bad after all. At least most of them.

"I'm going to my room," Edward muttered, dashing up the stairs so quickly he looked like a blur of gray and black.

"Fine," Alice exclaimed, her voice laced with annoyance, "Bella, wanna watch T.V or something? I mean, after you call your Dad?"

She really didn't feel like calling him. He would just worry and be pissed that he'd have to pick her up at the Cullens' remote mansion. Besides, Jacob was the mechanic. He'd fix her car up in no time.

"Sure," she lied.

Alice smiled before heading off to the kitchen. Bella was at least glad that she decided to give her some privacy.

It rang once. Twice. Three. Voicemail.

She contemplated leaving a message, knowing she would have to decide quickly.

"Hi, Jake. It's Bella. Uh, I don't want to leave you a long message so please call me back as soon as possible. Something happened and I need your help."

She winced after she hung up. She made it sound so serious. He would probably think she's injured or something. Idiot move. Idiot move.

"I brought some potato chips if you like," Alice exclaimed, plopping down on the plush, off-white sofa, patting the seat next to her.

Bella was more than happy to sit with her. The beautiful sofa was comfortable…and extremely clean. For the first time since she entered the house, she deeply inhaled the air around her. Downy. For some reason, it smelled like Downy. Not bad, not bad at all. On another good note, the few objects and furniture that the living room had all amounted to fourteen. An amazingly low, even number. Amazing.

"Did you call your Dad?" Alice asked, turning on the huge, flat-screen T.V.

It took three seconds for Bella to quickly contemplate telling the truth. The truth won out. What if Jacob did come to pick her up?

"No, I called Jacob."

"Oh," Alice flipped through a couple of channels, finally settling on Project_ Runway._

The show was interesting enough to make Bella not notice if there was awkward tension or not. But as that thought popped into her mind, another one did as well. Who did Alice think she was disapproving or approving of who she could call? She now could barely contain her anger. She had to get out. Now.

"Where's your restroom?" she asked, sitting up straight as an arrow as if to get up off the plush seating.

"Up the stairs and to your left," Alice replied, the chips in her mouth crunching as her eyes were glued to the T.V. screen.

Without a word, Bella climbed the twenty steps and immediately made a left. The bathroom door was wide open. But what caught Bella's attention was the door to the right of it, shut but with light filtering from the floor. Edward's room.

Suddenly, the house began to feel claustrophobic. But she walked quickly past the door, glancing at it in case Edward decided to rear his ugly head, and closed the bathroom door.

At this point, she didn't care if she was being needy. She couldn't stay in a house with that mental freak only one door down for another minute. She quickly counted everything in the bathroom. More out of habit than anything else.

The place was cleaner than her own. She was jealous. And she almost swore the white, marble sink glistened- just like the Mr. Clean commercials she used to love as a kid.

Bella expected the call to go to voicemail by the time it got to the fourth ring, but the sexiest voice she had ever heard finally answered it, " Hey, I saw your million calls."

She couldn't help but smile. His jokes were easier to handle than the Cullen douche bag, "Sorry…I- my car won't start."

"Where are you?" he asked, not sounding the least bit worried. Bella knew what he was thinking- that it's typical for a woman to call her man to help fix a car. Normally, Bella would hate such a sexist remark, but she couldn't deny it. In her case, it was absolutely true. She wouldn't be able to begin to comprehend what thingamabob goes with what and other such mechanical shit.

"I-" Bella ran a hand through her hair, contemplating if she should tell him or just make Alice take her back to the church, " I'm…at one of the group people's house."

"Why?"

"They offered me a ride instead of leaving me waiting for you to pick up the phone," Bella replied, unable to hide the annoyance in her voice.

"Sorry. Me and Quil were working on our motorbikes."

Bella eyebrows furrowed in surprise, "New Motorbikes?" She thought he already had one. She must be confused.

"I have one already but it's not running the way it used to. So I sold it two days ago and me and Quil also got new ones. He's showing me how to rev this thing up good. Remember, cars are my thing…I mean, I know the basics but Quil is the expert," In the background, Bella heard engines roaring to life and light laughter.

"Anyway," Jacob continued, "Whose house are you at?"

"Uh… that dou- Edward Cullen's," she winced, knowing the guy could possibly hear her with how much the room echoed.

Bella was met with a long silence, "The rich dude who's been giving you a hard time?"

"The very one."

She nearly jumped back when she heard laughter from the other end, "What's so funny?"

"No," Jacob began, "I can just imagine the horror you must feel being in that dipshit's house. I can't believe he brought you over."

'Well," Bella said her body finally relaxing. Jacob always found a way to find the humor in any situation, "His sister felt bad. I'm sure he would've just left me out there."

"Probably…so you want me to pick you up?"

Bella hesitated, not sure which one would be worse—making herself look bad by making Alice drive her back or making Jacob come over to a house as grand and unwelcoming as the Cullen mansion.

"Is…is it okay if you come here? I can ask Alice for directions-"

"No," Jacob interrupted, "It's okay. I know where the Cullen house is."

Bella furrowed her eyebrows, "How do you know where they live?"

"Everyone talks about them. They're the only rich people within a fifty mile radius of Forks and LaPush. People get curious as to exactly where their house is," Jacob replied.

So much for trying to keep everything private by burying their house in the woods.

"Okay," Bella said, "Get here quick. That stuck-up shithead is driving me insane."

Once she hung up, she sighed in relief. She was finally being rescued. Her spirits were lifted…and she didn't feel scared anymore.

That is, until there was a knock on the door.

"I'll be right out, Alice," Bella immediately turned on the gold handle of the faucet, letting the water run. And she immediately shut it off. There. She did something.

But Alice's friendly face wasn't what met her when she opened the door, but Edward himself. His sardonic smile only made Bella's heart beat faster. He heard her. And if she knew the bastard even a little bit, she would think he had listened to her entire exchange with Jacob.

"I am stuck up now, am I?" he asked, his smile growing wider.

Her tongue suddenly went dry, "I…uh…"

"Come on, Swan. Where is that unladylike attitude from a couple of weeks ago, Mmm?" he asked, moving in closer to her. He smelled of breath mints and some fancy cologne she couldn't remember the name of. But it was certainly one she had smelled several times in the Bloomingdale's department store…

"Come on," Edward whispered, "Tell me I am such a… dipshit, as you so kindly put it. Tell me I'm such an… asshole."

Bella didn't know what to think- her mind was numb. Completely. It was almost as if she was hyperventilating. She must have sounded like a freak, with her heavy breathing and her heart pounding furiously. But then she began to notice that part of the heavy breathing wasn't coming from her, but from him.

His left hand came around the back of her neck, and rested there. He leaned his head to the side, his green eyes focused on her now parted lips. Was this some kind of a nightmare? Was this guy for real? And was he about to kill her.

It only lasted a second, but his lips lightly brushed hers. And then the pressure on her neck was gone. His hands were by his side, and he was shaking his head, "Sorry. Won't happen again."

It took only another second for the door of his room to close loudly behind him. But Bella was rooted to the spot, unable to move. What the flying fuck had just happened?


	23. Chapter 23 The Evenly Sexy Decision

**A/N: You guys probably hate me right now or have completely forgotten about this story. But don't worry, 'cause I haven't. RL gets in the way a lot. But all is good in that department- finally! I have started a new job that for the first time I really love and that has taken up most of my time. I really don't know if I should say this but I have also been working on my own YA novel. I got the idea awhile ago and I couldn't stop writing. Thanks for sticking with me! And thank you for all the wonderful reviews and suggestions!**

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Chapter 23. The Evenly Sexy Decision

Where the fuck was Jacob? Bella sat on the plush sofa with Alice for twenty-three more minutes. Twenty-three minutes since Edward Cullen kissed her. Her head flickered twelve times at the ceiling, imagining that cretin sitting up in his room, wiping the taste of her lips from his mouth. What was up with that weirdo?

Alice kept blabbing as usual, flipping through channels before settling on project Runway for what Bella predicted would be the end of the episode, even though it was an entire marathon of the season. She kept glancing at her phone.

No call from Jacob. He would call when he was getting close, right?

"What's wrong, Bella?" Alice asked, causing her to nearly jump out of her seat, "Are you having one of your breakdowns again?"

Hell yes. But it wouldn't help any to talk about it. It seemed the walls have ears.

"No."

The doorbell rang, causing Bella to jump in her seat again. One look at her friend told her she was surprised as well. Oops. Guess she should have told her about the phone call.

"It's probably Jacob," Bella said, getting up and smoothing the invisible creases on her pants, "He called me a little while ago when I was in the bathroom."

Alice only nodded, smiling slightly as she went to open the front door. It took one glance at Jacob's long, dark hair, winning smile, perfectly white teeth, and tightly fitted white t-shirt to make Bella's heart melt. He felt more real than anything else in the Cullen House. He was a splash of water on her face, a wake-up call to what was real, comfortable, and tangible.

"Hey," she breathed, making her way over to him. Everything else disappeared. The few objects around the museum-style home were now dark, as if a light had been shut off and the only thing glowing was Jacob Black.

"Hey you," he smiled at her, his dark eyes questioning her. He must be pretty smug, thinking he was her knight in shining armor. But it wasn't anything she should get pissed about. It was completely true.

"Thanks for not leaving her in the parking lot," Jacob said to Alice. Bella tried not to notice the way his arm rested right behind the small of her back. It was very "boyfriend-like" and it made her feel needed, like she was his property. She didn't give a damn if it was an anti-feminist thought. She liked it. She liked having a significant other and she liked the whole world knowing it.

"No problem," Alice said, opening the massive front door and ushering them out, "See you next week?"

"Yeah, sure," Bella wouldn't mind if she never had to attend the deadly meetings with Edward Cullen ever again. Thinking about him made her heart beat faster and her hands shake. He scared the shit out of her more than ever. How the hell would he react to her when they next see each other? The touching of their lips would never be mentioned to anyone. If she never told anyone, then she could easily pretend it never happened.

Once Bella and Jacob were past the front door, Bella couldn't help but sneak a peek at the upper right-hand window on the second floor. Satan's bedroom, most likely. She shuddered. The only perfect thing to her evening was that he stayed locked in there. She hoped he'd never come out.

The smell of old shoes and cabbage never smelled so comforting to her. It was still nasty as fuck but in the weeks that she'd been dating Jacob Black, his truck defined him. It was like coming home to your familiar house that had just got trashed.

Roll socks up. Rolls socks down. Check rearview mirrors, two wheels, two front doors, two back doors…

"You done yet so you can tell me why you sounded as if you'd just been held hostage in there?" Jacob asked, his eyes glued straight ahead as he pulled out of the massive driveway.

"I didn't sound like that…and you didn't make it seem like I did when we were on the phone," she retorted, placing her covered right hand above her left. Jacob noticed the movement.

"I was waiting to meet the dipshit you were talking about," Jacob went on, slightly smiling, "Wanted to come up with my own opinion on someone you hate so much."

Bella quickly glanced at him. He was joking, his smile now stretching wider than California, his pearly-whites glistening below the tiny light within the vehicle.

"All you have to do is look at him and you'd already hate him," she sighed and switched the placement of her hands. Bella rapidly goes through the rest of her car preparations, not caring if she was whispering.

"Guess you weren't done," Jacob said under his breath, finally chuckling.

Bella stuck out her tongue, something she hadn't done in ages. It was so easy to just fall into a lighthearted mood with him. It made the night just that much better, "No, I wasn't. But now I am."

"You still freaking out about your car?"

"No, not really."

"Is it because I'm finally here to be your knight in shining armor?"

"Of course," Bella replied, taking his hand in hers.

While arriving at the Cullens' mansion from the group meeting took a million years, leaving the Cullen mansion and arriving at the group meeting parking lot took a total of fourteen minutes. She didn't want to leave the car. She didn't mind the stench if it meant being with her boyfriend…or whatever they were. Every day Bella told herself she wouldn't ask. In a guy's mind, being asked that question was the kiss of death. He would have to say something- either to her or someone else.

But that resolve on being less needy still didn't prevent her from almost not getting out of Jacob's car when he finally parked in the empty parking lot right next to her malfunctioning car. He immediately got out, taking a plethora of tools that she couldn't be bothered to name and began working on her car. She was fascinated with how easily he opened the front of her car, connected two cables from the front of his car to hers and jumpstarted the thing. The way his shirt clung to him and how quickly a few grease stains got on his shirt reminded her of the first day she met him- stinky, dirty, and incredibly sexy.

" I kinda don't wanna leave," she said, once her car was running fine.

"You don't have to," Jacob replied, putting away his tools in the trunk of his car before settling next to Bella in the driver's seat of his rabbit.

Bella knew what she wanted to say but didn't dare to. She felt as if a large bubble was building inside of her, ready to burst. Edward's kiss did that to her. Even though it was nothing like Jacob's, it was completely unexpected, a little weird, and slightly erotic. She just never saw him as someone who'd want to kiss anybody, less her. It made her realize how much she wanted her boyfriend. Even though they had been dating for weeks, they never took their physical relationship to the next level. Problem was Jacob never tried to, either. But Bella knew it wasn't because he didn't want her, either. He made that very obvious. She wasn't stupid; she noticed the way he looked at her; the way he'd stare at her ass when she passed him by. The way his eyes would linger to her breasts six seconds before they made traveled up to her face. One day, she decided to count how many times Jacob would check her out. The total count ended up being twenty times. Twenty times in one day was all the girl needed in order to feel complete confidence.

But right now, she felt the familiar wet-panty feeling she experienced when they first met. It seemed like eons ago that she was getting pissed at a less put together Native American Fabio while simultaneously getting turned on by him.

"I don't know how to go about this," she began, suddenly realizing that her words could mean an entirely different thing.

"What is it?"

"Uh…"

_Just come out and say it._

"I think we should," she stopped, taking a deep breath, "Maybe we could make out for awhile."

She settled for something safe. It's always better to go with the flow. That's one of the few things she hated from movies- a girl telling her man that she's ready for sex. It only leads to things being awkward, and that was what she wanted the least. No awkwardness. Let things happen natural. Only this time, she wouldn't stop his hand from traveling down to her breasts. Or down to her crotch. It would happen. Naturally.

As Jacob obliged, rewarding her with a smirk before capturing her lips with his own, he rested his hands behind the nape of her neck. The heat from his skin gave her body tingles and inflamed her nether regions. She was definitely on fire down below. His hands ran up and down her back, but still nowhere near where she wanted them to be.

They stayed in the car kissing, both of them reveling in the sensation of their lips pressed against each other. But nothing else. No matter how many times Bella placed her hand on Jacob's chest like she'd seen in movies, where the woman's hand traveled down until she reached the top button of the man's pants, Jacob would grab her hand. He would rub his forefinger against the cloth of her glove, trying to take it off.

Bella struggled, trying to think of a cool, sexy way to tell him to jump her bones. But as Jacob's hands finally found a resting place atop of her head, a flashbulb lit up in her head. She was so fucking stupid. His words from weeks ago repeated themselves in her head, like in a movie. He imagined seeing her hands- her hands without her gloves.

She broke away from their kiss, smiling at him. She loved the way he stared at her, his eyes filled with lust, licking his lips. She held up her right hand to him and slowly took off her glove.

His dark eyes widened. He inhaled deeply, " Bella?"

"Remember what you said about wanting to see my hands?" she asked, keeping her hand held up in front of her. Once the hand was exposed, she felt inclined to keep it near her, not bring it anywhere near Jacob's face. Could she really go through with this?

Images of her two previous sexual experiences popped up in her mind. It had to be better than that. Everyone keeps saying how awesome sex is, and she wanted it so bad. For some reason her hormones that night were going haywire. She needed this release and she needed it bad.

"Yeah," Jacob choked out, looking as shocked and uncertain as Bella felt, "Is this what I think it means?"

His face, slowly but surely, broke into a smile. He was still staring at her exposed hand, completely in awe, "I was right. Your hand is beautiful."

He made a motion as if to touch it but quickly pulled away.

"Let's go to my place," Bella said, cringing once the words came out of her mouth. She pulled the glove back on.

_Let's go to my place?_ How clichéd could she get?

"Follow me. Charlie should be out pretty late." Actually, she wasn't sure if he was, but if she sees that he's there, she would force Jacob to hide the little rabbit anywhere where one of the giant oak trees could hide it.

Jacob nodded, kissing her cheek before he ushered Bella into her car, then returning to his. A string of butterflies danced around her stomach, getting her so excited she felt another pool of wetness seep through her panties. Roll socks up, Roll socks down…

She began her ritual with a new energy coursing through her. She didn't know what to feel- nervous, sexy, romantic? How would the night turn out?

Bella forced those thoughts from her mind. She needed this. She needed to escape the hold she suddenly had over Edward's kiss. She needed Jacob.

Once she checked her car for signs of unevenness, she drove off, channeled Audrey Hepburn's sexy aloofness, and sped off to her house.


	24. Chapter 25 The Odd Surprise

Chapter 25. The Odd Surprise

This was the best doctor's visit she had ever had. Bella barely had a trouble in the world. Dr. Jenkins' tiny office looked more spacious today- with only a few trinkets lining up the edge of her desk this time. The wooden table was spotless. There wasn't a speck of dust in sight. Everything was just perfect. Her and Jacob's sexual life was more than satisfactory and couldn't imagine there would be so many positions. But Jacob was an excellent teacher.

"How's your relationship with Jacob?' Dr. Jenkins asked, scribbling some nonsense in her notebook like she usually did. The woman barely looked at her anymore. Dr. Jenkins was too preoccupied with the various medications she had to send to the local pharmacy and insurances that overwhelmed Bertha just couldn't handle. Somehow she had gotten a whole new batch of patients in the past two months. In a way, it wasn't surprising- the woman _was_ one of two psychiatrists in town. But it was surprising in the sense that so many people now needed treatment for whatever condition. Bella secretly believed some of the new patients decided to go for treatment for any stupid thing. None of them seemed the slightest bit worried or grim. In fact, most of the women waiting in the reception area wouldn't stop jabbering away, like a million cockatoos were coo cooing throughout the white, spacious room. The Bella before Jacob would have cowered in their presence, feeling like a little girl only two feet tall while the more beautiful women around her would be laughing and smiling, and she would wish she was more like them. But the Bella after Jacob couldn't care less about them. The Bella after Jacob felt sorry for them- sorry that they probably didn't have as wonderful a guy as Jacob. No one in Forks was half as hot as her boyfriend and any guy they were dating now couldn't possibly measure up.

Yes. She was happy. Happy in love. And nothing would bring her down.

"Amazing," she responded, settling down on the couch. It was so comfortable now, like visiting an old friend.

"Good, good. How's your father doing?"

"Alright." There really was nothing new to say about Dad. Charlie was just Charlie. He timidly asked Bella every day how she's been. He'd be very attentive towards her…the usual. But it was for the best. Bella didn't even want to imagine what her father would be like if he realized she was getting some almost every night. She had to admit she was glad the soreness between her legs was healing. The day after having slept with Jacob the first time caused her such discomfort that she would feel a slight pain just by pressing on the accelerator while driving. By the time she got out of the car, she was keeling over like an old lady. Her posture basically told anyone who'd notice that she had just been fucked. Fucked big time. Fucked with a large, thick dick.

"How's your mother? Have you talked to her?" That was definitely a moot point for her. She had been living in Forks for two months now, and had only received two calls from her mother. Of course, she knew communication went both ways- and that she should call her mother more often, but she just…didn't. She had been so concentrated on her love for Jacob that she had completely overlooked letting Mom know how things were going.

"Yeah, but she just kept talking about herself."

"Well, I'm pretty sure she couldn't have been spending the entire time having a one-sided conversation. Did you say anything? Or just let her talk?" Dr. Jenkins was still scribbling furiously in her notebook, still not feeling the need to grace Bella with a glance.

"I just let her talk," Bella couldn't help but stare intently at her doctor, hoping by mere concentration she would just look up and meet her gaze. Or even lift her head up just by sensing her. Fat chance.

"Does that make you feel neglected somehow?"

"No."

"I know you well enough to tell when you are lying to me."

"I'm not. She wouldn't care anyway."

"What makes you think that?" Dr. Jenkins turned a new page, the scratching sounds coming from her pencil not missing a beat. Bella was on the brink of getting up off the extremely comfortable sofa and getting the hell out of there.

"Uh, what about the fact that she doesn't even ask me how I've been the few times she called me. Just like the fact that she continues to scribble notes on her notepad, absentmindedly asking me stupid questions without really thinking what she's asking," Bella challenged, standing up just a little bit straighter in her seat.

"Okay, I get it," The doctor slowly closed the book and casually tossed it on her desk. Bella cringed, hating how the horribly aligned book could ruin the surprisingly well-kept desk. Dr. Jenkins finally looked Bella in the eye, not shy of showing how annoyed she truly was about Bella calling out on her neglect, " You are lashing out at me over your anger towards your mother and that is fine—"

"I'm not. I was perfectly happy talking about Jacob. Why can't we ever concentrate on the good that's happening in my life?"

"Because you pay me to concentrate on the not-so-good things in your life and that is just what I'm doing," she said matter-of-factly, "And you obviously have some serious issues with your mother and I would just like to address them."

"You've never asked about her before so why should today be any different?" Bella began fiddling with her purple gloved hands, wishing for the second time to get the fuck out of there.

"Bella, If everything was so great in your life you wouldn't be so hurt by her," Dr. Jenkins was bored today, very bored. The crazy and sometimes psychotic part of her wished Bella was still like the overly neurotic, fucked up girl of two months ago. It was more exciting for her, kept her attention.

"Whatever," Bella didn't want to say anymore. In her mind, the session was already over. Her mind started wandering towards dirty thoughts of Jacob. His warm body against hers was the only cure she needed, not some talk with a doctor who was seriously annoying her, "Are we done now?"

Dr. Jenkins was taken aback. The pouting, steely eyed girl suddenly reminded her of the ill and lost girl who first came into her office, claiming she didn't need treatment. The doctor smiled, "Yes, we're done."

Bella got up and immediately left, not even bothering to make a next appointment. If the doctor wanted to take any more of her money she would receive a call anyway.

Jacob placing kisses all over Bella's neck were the wonderful things that Heaven was made of. She felt cramped outside in the school parking lot, not giving a damn yet again if they got caught. Ever since she first used the excuse of a lunch break as her daily intake of Jacob, she couldn't stop herself from doing it again. And again. And again. It was already three days that week. She was surprised she wasn't fired. But for the first time, she didn't care.

"We shouldn't be doing this, you know," he whispered in her ear, his large hands running up and down her back, "your co-workers can catch us."

"They didn't catch us the first time," Bella tried to not care, tried to be brave and sexy to impress Jacob even more, but a huge part of her was terrified. What _if_ they caught them? She couldn't help but remember how close she was to losing her job when she freaked out over the absent kid in her class. Which was why she pushed her boyfriend away.

"You're right. We'll have to do this later."

Jacob smiled, "Of course. I know you, Bella. And all this" he waved his hand around at their surrounding, "Isn't really your style."

"Than what is?"

"Hmmm. Let's see… a candlelit dinner maybe? A walk along Second Beach?" he shook his head, opening the passenger door, "But I should just shut up. Don't wanna ruin anything."

Bella grabbed his arm, "What do you mean ruin anything?"

"Shit, I kinda gave myself away, huh?"

"Yeah," she teased, running her hand over his thick bicep. She couldn't help but be all over him. All she wanted at that moment was to let her fingers go down the trail that was his eight pack. Bella still had to wrap her head around that fact- and she counted three times! An eight pack. Fucking awesome.

"It's fine though. You know how I don't like surprises."

"You don't have to tell me twice," he teased, kissing her lightly on the cheek, "You should get back to work. Your hour's almost up."

He was right. She had approximately five minutes to walk into her seventh period English class.

"I'm rubbing off on you," she said, opening the car door and grabbing her bag, "You're more aware of the time than I am."

"That's only because I have to keep my girl in check. Can't have her freaking out later."

"I won't freak out," she lied, returning his light kiss with one of her own, "see you after the meeting."

She mentally cringed. She still had to go to that shit. Dr. Jenkins' orders. Bella struggled between not ever going again and actually making another appearance. Since storming out of her beloved shrink's office, she had half a mind to call her up and tell her to fuck it all. But the scared, semi-responsible adult in her forced her not to. It was bad enough that Edward Cullen wouldn't even glance her way after the smack on the lips he gave her that night at his house, but she had to be the center of his sister's attentions whenever she'd leave the tiny church. It was all too much to bear.

But that night she went. That night she parked her car in her usual parking spot as close to the church as humanly possible in case she had to make a quick getaway if things got too intense. The week before, it looked as if things were turning in that direction since manic depressive Sally Prewitt would not stop talking about the endless days of crying jags that mainly took place in her shower. Bella knew she should feel complete sympathy, and a part of her did, but it just reminded her of her own dark days which just depressed her. Different scenarios of her leaving the fucktastic hellhole kept playing itself- jumping out of the nearest window on the left corner, quietly slipping out when everyone's eyes were closed during one of the stupid "spiritual" sessions, just making a run for it and hoping now one would stop her…She was lucky those would only work in her fantasies.

For the first time in her life, she made sure to get there a tad bit late. In order to accomplish such a feat without feeling as if she hadn't showered in a week, she forced herself to think of it as right on time. Bella would visualize everyone parking their cars at seven ten and head into the building, ready to start the meeting at seven fifteen. It was horrible but so worth it. It was worth not having to endure Alice's smiles and ridiculous attempt at conversation. It wasn't that she didn't like the girl- she did. But then her brother had to go and screw everything up by making their meetings awkward as fuck. Because wherever the tiny Alice Cullen was, her brooding, hair-blowing-in-the-wind-as-if-he-just-stepped-out -of-a- GQ-spread brother was right beside her. Barf.

At exactly seven ten, she pushed open the large double doors and took a one of the only two seats available- one being right next to the blubbering Sally herself. Edward Cullen sat right across from her, staring at her and licking his lips. God, could that dickface be any more obvious? If Jacob was here right now he would beat that hot, sickly face to a pulp. Or worse, he could break up with her like in countless Jennifer Aniston flicks. All she could do was roll her eyes at him and look away to their fearless, idiotic group leader. Bella felt bad that she could barely remember her name, but how could she ever focus when her screeching voice was ringing in her ear constantly. The same messages repeated themselves over and over again— always speak of your emotions, share with your neighbors, listen to each other, be best friends. So fucking lame. There had to be better groups out there. But since this was Forks, the townspeople wouldn't know an effective therapy group if it bit them in the ass.

"So how has your week been, Isabella?" nameless group leader squealed. Ever since Bella let it slip that her days have been a bit happier (probably during one of the twenty-four times she let her mind wander to sexy thoughts of Jacob in one sitting), the woman had been relentless in her pursuit to find out every single detail of Bella's blissful life. Compared to all the other hopeless members of the group, her life must look like a fairy tale to the lonely, over-compensating chipper woman who obviously desired to live precariously through her. Sad, very sad.

"Fine," she replied, "Work's good. Home life is good."

"But how's the boyfriend?" Martha Livingston asked, the smacking noise coming from her gum-filled mouth reverberating throughout the room.

"Great. We have a very loving relationship and we make a point of expressing it every night," The Old Bella would have never dreamed of saying such a thing. But after their constant pestering involving every little romantic detail of her life, she decided to just give them the facts- no matter how direct or dirty they were. Let them cringe a bit, especially Edward. Maybe he would stop staring at her as if she just stripped completely naked. So far, none of her snarky comments have done the trick.

"Oh, Bella," the group leader stated, "You don't have to go and brag about it to everyone," She smiled, giggling to the others as if she couldn't get enough.

"Someone has to. 'Cause no one else is making any attempt at getting laid."

Bella thought this rude statement would be a step towards the right direction of her getting kicked off for good, but no such luck. Twenty- three of the twenty-four of them laughed good-naturedly, with forty-six twinkling eyes fixed at her. Glancing at Edward was out of the picture. She was sure to piss herself if she even for a second caught his gaze.

Surprisingly, the evening went by rather quickly. Bella didn't say another word. And neither did Edward, which was stranger than anything. The green-eyed menace was always the first to insult another member or reiterate how much he detested being there. Bella couldn't help but share his opinion. It disgusted her but that was the truth. But today he said nothing. Just sat calmly in his chair twiddling his thumbs and smirking at Bella as if she was an open book where ever single dirty image she had ever had was on display to him.

"Bella Swan," he whispered in her ear once the meeting was over. The way his hand rested on the small of her back, as if she was Cullen property, almost made her medium-heeled shoes right on top of his hush puppies, "You better not have told your little Indian boy-toy about us."

A shiver ran down her spine. He had never mentioned their kiss. It was just an unspoken thing between them. Besides, Edward always seemed too ashamed to bring it up. Until now.

"Of course not," she replied, not meeting his gaze. It would do them no good if the other members of the group suspected anything. The title of Whore of the Freaks didn't particularly sit well with her.

"What if I tell him?" he leaned in closer to her, squeezing the nonexistent fat on her bony back.

"No fucking way. Don't you dare. Besides, why the hell would I want to ruin something good for…" she stopped, feeling dumb for trying to be clever when nothing witty would pop into her puny brain.

"What, Swan? Cat got your tongue?" he teased.

Bella finally turned to him, looking him straight in the eye. She had to admit, the guy looked perfectly groomed. Not a single strand of hair out of place and even as he smirked at her, the bit of front teeth she could see was as white as snow. How the fuck did he do it? She suddenly wondered what dentist he went to…because she definitely needed to ditch her own because her own pearly whites were starting to look not-so-pearly…

"Are you high?" he asked, raising a quizzical brow at her.

Her heart started hammering in her chest, a blush creeping up in her cheeks. How embarrassing.

"No, of course not. If I was, I would be having one hell of a great time here."

"You see, there was your snarky joke."

"Ha ha." She glanced at the exit door longingly. This was getting too awkward. And Bella Swan hated awkward conversations the most- right behind untidiness.

" I've been thinking about our little escapade, " he started, leading her out the door and away from blubbering Sally who kept glancing at them with wonder in her light brown eyes, " and I kept putting it on the back burner, trying to forget it. You know why, right? You're totally unsuitable for me and not even that attractive. It's embarrassing for me to say it, but I can't stop thinking about you. I mean, you're nothing special, really. But I want you and I think maybe…we could be good together."

For a minute, Bella just stared at him, trying to determine if he was serious. But he didn't even break into a smile. He just gazed at her expectantly, as if she should be thrilled at his confession. As if she was his inferior in every way and she should just be grateful for what he was offering her. A rage began to build up inside of her. Who did he thinks she was? And worst of all, what kind of a fool did he take her for?

Before she could formulate a response, he leaned his head close to hers and kissed her.

"You fucking asshole," she said, stepping back as her hand immediately made contact with his cheek. The slap that resounded across the church caught everyone's attention.

Goddammit! They were in public! She glanced around the parking lot and saw a few people smirk in their direction. Great. That douchebag probably figured that she wouldn't do anything. She would just take it since they were in public. But never underestimate the power of a woman happily in love. Just thinking of Jacob and how positive he was about everything and how nothing could ever upset him permanently made her strive to be more like him. And right now, Jacob wouldn't be so concerned with people looking at them. He would only be concerned with the problem at hand.

"Excuse me?" Cullen was genuinely shocked, shaking his head three times before his eyes widened. He placed a hand over his bruised cheek, "What was that for?"

"For calling me unattractive, and kissing me again, you dipshit."

"So what? I told you I wanted you. What more do you want?" he hissed, his gaze flickering at the group leader and three of her minions as they whispered to each other, glancing every so often at the pale-faced couple.

"I want you to stop talking to me. You are a nasty piece of work and I would never go out with you. Understand? I have a wonderful, loving boyfriend who treats me with respect and I don't need an arrogant, immature little prick to come over and fuck it all up."

She couldn't stay anymore. It was too much. When she imagined leaving the group therapy for good, she never thought it would all go down like this. Life was funny that way.

The even steps she took to the parking lot were stopped short when her cell phone began to ring. Noticing that the number was unfamiliar to her, she was just sixteen seconds shy of deciding not to answer it when she pressed the talk button.

"Hello?"

"Bella Swan?" a breathy, female voice said on the other end of the line, "This is Leah, Jacob's…ex-girlfriend."

The nervous girl almost dropped the phone, thanking God her reflexes were quick enough for her to catch it in mid-air, "Yeah? What do you want?"

"Just wondering if you were free to get a cup of coffee with me tomorrow."

"Why?"

Silence.

"Meet me tomorrow at five in Harry's Fish Fry. You know where that is, right?" the question was biting, menacing, as if she was revolted over the reason why a white girl from Forks would know where a specific restaurant was located in the Indian reservation of Washington. Bitch.

Before Bella could answer, the call ended, forcing her to be pissed and scared at the same time. What in the hell could Leah Clearwater want with her? She hadn't seen the dragon for weeks. But she knew that sooner or later the beautiful monster would rear her ugly head in. She just thought it would be in a more expected way than this.

Only two things were needed for this meeting: another dosage of her pills and a triple dosage of Jacob.


	25. Chapter 26 The Odd Confrontation

Chapter 26. The Odd Confrontation

Two rearview mirrors.

Check.

Two wheel tires.

Check.

Two front seats.

Check.

Two back seats.

Check.

Two blinds.

Check.

Bella rubbed her hands twice before starting the engine, her nerves on overdrive. She spent the whole day thinking and dreading her meeting with Leah. Besides the place being disgusting and rat-infested, she just wasn't prepared to hear what Leah had to say. God, she wished she could just read people, especially people who proved to be a threat to her newfound happiness.

The problem with not reading people is that you couldn't control them, couldn't make them say whatever it is you wanted to say to make you feel better, make you feel perfect.

Bella sighed before pulling out of the driveway. Shit, she was doing so well. Jacob was so good for her. Now Leah had to come along and throw a wrench in her perfect plans and fuck everything up. Her and Edward. They can both fuck off for all she cared.

It took exactly twenty-four minutes for her to get to Harry's Fish Fry due to her circling around the edge of Forks for ten minutes straight, thinking up of all the possible things Leah could say to her and her responses. She had four different scenarios and four different responses. Even though that was an excellent number, she needed more- maybe six or eight.

Fuck it. She had to go in. Leah would think she was a wimpy white girl and that was worse than anything.

Bella quickly went through the numbers in her head before leaving her car, making sure everything was in place.

Rock music floated from the restaurant and people's laughter boomed through the thick walls. Clenching her gloved hands tight, Bella took nineteen steps until she was standing right in front of the door. Shit. She took one step in place before opening the door.

She quickly spotted Leah across the restaurant in a secluded corner. Without making eye contact with the hostess, she walked over there, a bead of sweat trickling down her forehead.

Ew.

"Hey, Bella" Leah said as she motioned for me to sit across from her. Her smile didn't reach her eyes and Bella sat down, slow and deliberate.

"What do you a want?" Bella asked.

"I think we need to have a little talk." She leaned in closer, waiting, in Bella's calculation, approximately twenty seconds before continuing. "I think after what I have to say, you'll stop fucking my boyfriend."

"Ex-boyfriend. Get that in your head. He wants nothing to do with you."

Leah pursed her lips. "Unlike you, I've got my charms. He couldn't resist me before and I could do it again. Easy as pie."

"What- what makes you think I'll let you?" Another bead of sweat trickled down Bella's forehead and her nerves did somersaults in her stomach. This was one of the four scenarios she thought up of and knew exactly what to say, but being a part of this conversation, being right here at this moment, made her want to vomit. Confrontations were the worst, especially with someone as intimidating as Leah.

"You will. Good thing that I was in Forks the other day shopping with my friend. If not, I would've missed the little talk you had with your tall and handsome friend."

For a split second, Bella didn't know what she was talking about. Talk? With Jacob? Well, duh. She did more than talk with Jacob….No, she meant Edward. No, that couldn't be true. It was too much of a coincidence.

"You don't mean…" Bella croaked out. Now this wasn't in one of her scenarios and she racked through her mind for any kind of good response.

"Yeah, that copper haired pale guy you were talking with. I think you macked on him or something. I took pictures." Leah pulled out three pictures from her purse and laid them out on the table.

She was right. As Bella scanned the pictures, she saw what was clearly herself, gloves and all, lip locking with Edward Cullen just outside her Crazies Anonymous meetings.

"Where you following me?" she asked, not taking her eyes away from the one evidence that could ruin her relationship with Jacob.

Leah shrugged. "Does it matter?"

Yeah, Bella thought. But in essence, it didn't. Jacob wouldn't be as concerned in why Leah took the pictures or how except what the pictures contained. And Bella couldn't deny it. She didn't have any Photoshop skills either so she was fucked.

With this new evidence, Bella threw all caution to the winds. The mortifying thought of Jacob ever seeing this made any predetermined conversation she'd have with Leah fly out the window. In other words, she didn't give a flying fuck what came out of her mouth except to prevent Leah from ever leaking out these pictures.

"What do you want?" Bella asked. "What do you want for you to not show them to him?"

"Well, that's easy. I thought you were smarter than that." Leah leaned back in her chair, arms crossed in front of her chest. The slimy bitch was enjoying this, and milking it for all it was worth.

But Bella wasn't stupid, not by a long shot. "You want me to…break up with him."

"Of course. Either you break up with him on your own, or I'll break you two up."

At this point, Bella fiddled with her thumbs and kept rubbing her lips together, not sure what the hell to do.

"Can I get anything for you?" a plump, black haired waitress with tattoos traveling all up her left arm asked her.

"No." Bella couldn't even look at her.

Once the waitress left, Leah pressed her on. "What's it going to be, Miss Prissy?"

"I'll…I'll break up with him."

The words came out of her mouth before she could stop herself. Maybe if Leah showed him the pictures he would come to the crazy conclusion that they were fakes, just like Bella dreamed he would do. But Jacob wasn't stupid either. He would break up with her, and think she was a slut.

It wasn't until she said those words that she realized she would rather break up with Jacob herself than have him think her anything less than the perfect girlfriend.

Leah smiled, a genuine smile. "Good. Tomorrow, I'll make sure you kept your word."

Bella couldn't stand the pretense anymore. She got up and without saying anything else to her arch-nemesis, she left. No way was she going to spend one more minute with this fucking she-witch from hell and no way was she going to order anything from this greasy joint.

Bella focused on counting the thirty-six steps it took to get from her seat to her car and performed her entire routine slowly, trying to savor the last few moments that she was somebody's girlfriend.

When she finally turned on the ignition is when she let the tears she had been holding fall down her cheeks. It was going to be over. She knew it wouldn't last. Anything that made her happy was taken away as easily as it was given. Maybe she was never meant to be happy. Maybe this was somebody's way of testing her.

It took sixteen minutes for her to get to her house. Why she was so quick, she had no idea. On the car ride back, she thought she could easily come up with another solution to solve this. But would Jacob really believe that she didn't want to kiss Edward? What if Edward came over and lied to Jacob, saying she wanted it? Who would Jacob believe? She didn't want to find out.

Once she performed her ritual and got inside her house, she paused over her cell phone. Of course, she could've called Jacob before she drove back, but why would she? Now that she was home, it was inevitable to do so.

Bella took a deep breath, and dialed the now overly familiar number.

The most cliché words came tumbling out of her mouth before he could even say "Hi, Bella."

"Jacob, we need to talk. Can you come over now?"


End file.
